Here, we heard nothing. We had no warning. Three of them, three sharp-edged leaves bigger than Phyto dropped down. Sometimes they float; these dropped in a clump.
We heard screaming and I though that Lillah had been killed. If that happened I would go into the ghost cave and wait for her to tell her it would be all right. I would climb the Tree to be with her as a ghost.
It wasn't Lillah. It was Gingko. She was covered with the leaves. Only her arms were flung out and these we saw were almost cut off, top bit from bottom bit. That made us feel sick but none of us cared very much that she had died. We were so glad it wasn't someone we liked.
Parana's birthman ran to her. "Pull the leaves off," he called. "She can't breathe."
Rham said, "Do you think leaffall is punishment from the Tree for the way they treat it?"
"Maybe. But why did it take Gingko? She is not from here."
"Sometimes there is no sense."
The birthman called for water. Lillah found spiderwebs, for the bleeding, but it was too strong. It was like the sea when you build a wall of rocks and keep it back for a while but when it breaks through it is so powerful it knocks you over.
"Gingko, Gingko," Lillah said. She bent close to hear any words. There were none.
Gingko died.
A teacher died.
They had a burial ceremony. They tied heavy stones to her ankles and two men took her a long way out to sea.
I'm so glad it wasn't Lillah.
The locals told us how sad they were but I'm sure they were thinking what we were thinking; at least it wasn't someone I loved.
Parana — TORREYAS — Douglas
We call it Magnolia's Place.
I am twelve years old.
Phyto ran to us as soon as we left the outskirts. He embraced us all.
"Where's Gingko?," he said. "What happened?"
He held Lillah and Melia. I felt bad for Gingko because none of us are sorry it was her. And there was a new teacher to take her place, Rubica. Rubica is funny and seems almost as young as us and we really like her. This makes it even worse for Gingko.
In her home community they would be very sad.
The walk was long to the next village. We talked about Leaffall, and sacrifice. We talked about what sort of place Torreyas might be, and what we might learn. We knew it was the home of the Number Taker, who counts the people of Botanica. We knew they liked numbers. Lillah was excited because Magnolia comes from here and she likes Magnolia a lot.
One night just before we arrived, Phyto and I took our food away from the others and we sat and talked about things that the teachers don't talk about. Like the fact that once they stay in a new Order, they don't see each other again. The fact that I am sick and we are running from treatment. He figured out that Lillah was protecting me.
"I don't want you to tell me why, Morace. I think you need to keep that secret. But you're very lucky. I know she cares for all the children, but she keeps a special eye on you."
Sometimes it didn't feel lucky.
By the time we reached the outskirts we were in good spirits.
"You should come in this time," Lillah said to Phyto. "Learn the lessons too."
But he didn't want to go into this place because he didn't want anybody to count him.
"You should come into this village. The teachers seem to think they will really like it. Even Thea," I said.
"I never know how they'll take me. Men are not supposed to travel, you know."
"Most men don't want to."
"Some do. Some want to see what women see."
We left him sleeping under the stars.
It turned out pretty good at Torreyas. They didn't fuss very much about us because they were all too busy preparing for Oldnew Day. Everybody does this differently, it seems. At home, we celebrate it very simply, with a basic meal, no flavours, a day when we don't talk much. We try to leave the day blank so that anything is possible. Here it was simple too. We washed our smooth stones. That's really simple and it was a bit boring, too.
It doesn't matter how you celebrate it, Oldnew Day is about what will happen in the future. Each one takes me closer to being a grown-up. I don't want to be a grown-up and have to look after other people.
There was one kid who couldn't walk because he didn't drink any breast milk at all so we didn't have much to do with him. It feels sad he won't ever be able to go on school, but some days, when we've walked till our feet fall off, I would like to be him.
Thea is leaving us alone here. She wants to pretend to be a good person and she can't do that if she has to deal with us. I think she likes it here but I don't think she'll stay. I don't think she likes being happy so she'll pick somewhere she can be unhappy. She likes the order here, the numbers, the sensible rules. She is almost likeable here. She should stay.
In the next few days we did not do very much. When a messenger came, everyone was happy to see him.
Everyone is keen for the news. He told us something which didn't make sense, though. He said my mother was pregnant.
"She can't be. She's old!" I said, and some laughed but others looked sideways eyes at each other.
"She was very young when she had you, Morace. Don't you want a little brother or sister?"
Someone smaller than me? Of course I did.
Later, though, Lillah made me swim out with her so we would be alone. She said, "I'm sorry, Morace, but your mother is not pregnant."
I was confused.
"I wish I didn't have to tell you," she said, "but you won't have a little brother or sister. This was your mother's idea of a secret message. She didn't think about how disappointed you would feel."
"What does the message mean?"
"It means she is getting sicker. Perhaps even she can't get out of bed anymore."
I stopped swimming and sank. Lillah grabbed me. She could stand on the bottom. "I know it's a shock. I don't know why she told us. Why she thought we needed to know."
I held onto Lillah, out in the deep water. I didn't cry. Lillah made me feel angry about my mother more than anything else.
"Can I tell Phyto at least? He will keep a secret."
"I don't think you should. Tell him you are sad and worried about something if you like. He's a kind man."
"He likes you a lot, too. You should marry him."
"He's a friend. A friend I'll never forget. But he's not thinking about getting married."
We moved on from Torreyas. The village children told us stories about the men in the next village. That they were cruel and liked to hurt children.
"They're just tricking you to make you want to stay in Torreyas," Melia said. "Don't be frightened."
Torreyas — DOUGLAS — Sequoia
We call it Bad Men Place.
Phyto made us so worried. He kept saying how he had to look after us when we went into Douglas. He didn't usually say that.
As we got closer to the place where everyone said the bad men lived, I got a worse and worse feeling. There were footprints everywhere and I tried so hard not to step in them I kept tripping over, which made the other kids laugh but it really wasn't funny. I didn't want to step in a ghost footprint and have my soul trapped. That would be terrible. I thought Lillah should carry me, she is my sister, but she wouldn't. She avoided the footprints without falling over. Those footprints appear and there is no one to make them. If you stand in one, even if the top of your toe touches one of these ghost prints you will take the place of the ghost. And if you do bad things you will be tied to Earth until someone steps into your foot print and takes your place. You better hope they do.
My bad feeling got worse when we saw hundreds of crabs on the shore. Borag and Zygo got excited and ran ahead, thinking of crab meat dinner. But these were not crabs to eat. Borag screamed and Zygo called out "It's a person! They're eating a person!"
The teachers tried to make us walk a big circle but some things you have to see.
It was awful. It was a man once, but his feet were go
ne, his soft bits. Nose. You could see bone in some places, white with flickers of flesh.
"Come on," Erica said. "You don't want to look at death too hard."
Lillah convinced Phyto not to come into Douglas with us. "If they are violent, your being there will make things worse."
We got a really friendly greeting from the men, though. Nothing scary or mean. And they caught a huge fish, half as big as men, which they cooked over flames until it was tender. It tasted delicious.
These men are all right. They tell scary stories. They tell some with the teachers around but tonight one told us a story when the teachers weren't listening. The man who told us the story reminded me of a fish. He had fat lips pulled together like he wants to kiss you. Shiny, black hair, smooth and shiny on his head but hardly any hair on his body. The lines on his body were thick and looked almost like fish scales.
He told us this. "I don't know about other parts of the Tree, but here, we have to be careful at night. Very, very careful if we don't want the sleep demon to get us."
"Sleep demon?" Rham said.
I'd never heard of it either.
"The sleep demon has a mouth as big as the circle of your arms. It has ten rows of teeth but they are blunt, so if he bites you he has to rip and tear to take flesh."
"Bites us?"
"He loves the taste of human. But he can only eat humans lying awake in their beds when they should be sleeping. But if you are in your own bed and have been there all night, he will sniff over you but will not be able to eat you."
"What if you stay awake all night, get up to go to the toilet, then go back to bed and stay awake?" Zygo asked.
"The sleep demon loves children who should be asleep. He picks them up by the hair and takes them to his cave, where he waits and waits until they are so tired they are dizzy. Then he has the greatest feast of all."
We all had nightmares that night and none of us dared to get up.
We heard noises in the dark and for the first time
I wished I were a grown man. I wished I were big enough to go outside and stand up to the men of Douglas, to stop the meanness and make them be better to other people around them. I was scared for our teachers, especially Lillah, but there was nothing we could do. We stayed in our beds but we didn't sleep. Zygo and I talked in low voices about what it would be like to be a man. To be in control.
In the morning, early, Lillah and Melia came into our room and told us to put our things together. We were leaving.
Most of us.
"Thea has decided to stay here but we won't witness the ceremony to join her to the village."
I felt sick. I had been waiting and hoping for Thea to stop somewhere, but not here. The women here were not happy and they seemed to have cuts and bruises, more than in any other place we've been.
"You should tell her not to stay," I said.
"It's her choice," Melia said. I'm glad she's not my sister. She's cold.
Lillah took my hand. "I've tried, Morace. But she really wants to stay."
I waved at Thea but I didn't hug her goodbye. None of us did. It seemed like a lie to be sorry she was staying when we didn't like her.
But her face, as we walked away? I don't ever want to see someone look as scared and as sad as that again.
She watched us as if she cared. Her face looked soft. For the first time I wasn't scared of her. Tamarica, who has bouncy long hair, took Thea's place. Does it sound bad to say how happy she made us feel, just to be close to her?
She was so happy to be coming with us.
We are so much stronger and older than when we started out. The distance hardly matters to me now. I walked and barely noticed something.
"Where's your hat?"
"What hat?"
And they all laughed. I laughed, too. What hat. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten that hat I had worn for so long to save me from looking into the distance.
"You shouldn't have reminded me," I said. "Now I'll have to put my hand over my eyes."
I knew Lillah would have the hat in her bag and that she wouldn't give it to me unless I asked for it. Good. I didn't feel I needed it anymore. I didn't say this to Lillah, though. She would make a fuss, be happy. I'll save that for a sad day when we need cheering up.
Douglas — SEQUOIA — Alga
We call it Happy Sad Lillah Place.
Phyto waited for us, as he always did. When Tamarica saw him, she stopped walking. Stopped breathing. "Who is that?" she said. "It's a man. Who is it? He wants to stop me, doesn't he?"
Lillah said, "No, he's a good man. That's Phyto. He's walking with us to Osage. He's like most men. Your men are not right."
Still, it took a few days for Tamarica to relax around him.
He was very angry about the men of Douglas but the teachers stopped him from going back. "The best we can do is warn every community. Tell them, so they can be prepared," Melia said.
Zygo and I told Phyto we'd go back with him if he wanted. We told him some of the young girls there were not happy. Although it seemed to me that they thought this was how things were, so they didn't know any other thing.
• • •
The people here at Sequoia will not eat fish from the sea. Only fish which has been dropped by a bird. I don't like to eat fish while we are here.
We are loving Tamarica more and more. She is so different from Thea, who sometimes put her hand around your throat. Sometimes pushed you hard and held your face in the sand.
Tamarica is like us; wanting to play and be happy.
Everyone seems happy. Lillah is very happy.
I think she has found someone special. His name is Sapin. She seems happy, not as worried as usual. I don't like that. What will happen to me if she decides to stay? What happens if I have Spikes and the communities decide to treat me? What happens if I die?
I woke up from a nightmare and thought I smelt food cooking. It was only the ghost of the smell, though. The memory of it. The water was still and the moonlight clear in reflection. Here and there rocks stuck up like a giant's knees.
Why are others scared of ghosts and not me? Are they smarter, or me? I was scared of the ghost footprints near Douglas, but only because I didn't want to become one. I'm not scared of ghosts, but I don't want to be one.
Mind you, my heart nearly stopped and I wanted my mother when the ghost walked out of the Tree. I wasn't spying on Lillah and her boyfriend Sapin, but they were up in the Tree and I was underneath the Tree. That's all. The ghost was tall and pale and walked slowly. Dead-but-walking. His eyes squinted shut as if the light hurt him and perhaps it did. I screamed; I couldn't help it. Ghosts live in the dark, they love it. Is that why people hate them? All the bad things happen at night in the dark. But this was in the day. I didn't say anything. I watched him walk toward the water and I didn't feel like screaming anymore. He seemed peaceful and he had something to do; head for the water. Lillah says that people with something to do are happier people.
I didn't call out. But someone noticed him and that, what happened next, was so scary, far more scary than any ghost could be.
The men, including Sapin who I think is very ugly, jumped on him and kicked him alive then dead again. One said to me, "That's how you send ghosts away; bring them back to life then kill them again."
Sapin tried to wrap his arms around Lillah when they were finished. He was pleased with himself. He didn't notice how upset Lillah was, that she'd been crying. His hands, his arms, were bloody. He didn't care.
Lillah turned away from him and he looked at me with eyebrows lifted. I thought, "She should just tell him. He did a bad thing but he doesn't know she thinks so."
"We don't do that to ghosts in Ombu," I said. "We
don't hurt anyone like that."
He looked surprised. He reached for Lillah again, gently this time, but I stopped him.
"Wash yourself first," I said. Why? Why am I so stupid? I thought if she doesn't like him anymore she won't stay. But I knew I wanted her to be happy.
In the end it was Erica who stayed. Lillah was so upset and so was Sapin. But two teachers can't stay. That leads to deformed babies and other punishments from the Tree.
We left soon after the ceremony welcoming Erica. Lillah didn't watch very much of it. I played tricks and games with her. Made her feel wanted.
Erica was replaced by an older girl called Musa. We will see if we like her or not.
Walking the Tree Page 41