“Maybe it’s a New Year’s resolution.”
“It’s only December twenty-eighth. Seriously, Mike, cut the bullshit.”
Mike laughed. “I’m sure Stan will send a firm-wide email soon, but I wanted you to be among the first to know. I managed to solidify the Sparks account last week. B&B will be the lead firm for all film deals moving forward.”
My eyes opened wide for half a second in surprise. The Sparks account was huge. Stan had been trying to segue occasional licensing work to a more permanent footing with the company for years. “Way to go, Mike.” I was genuinely pleased for the firm but wished it had been the result of someone else’s effort. Mike was such a douchebag.
“There’s more.”
“Oh?”
“Stan and Harvey were so impressed, they spoke to the management committee and have decided to promote me to partner.”
I leaned forward. “The partners for this year were chosen already.”
Mike shrugged nonchalantly. “They made an exception for me.”
“Terrific. Congrats. I’m so pleased for you.”
“That’s kind of you to say. Assuming you genuinely feel that way.” He looked me dead in the eye, practically begging me to demonstrate how I really felt.
But I was too good to walk into his trap. “Of course I do. We’re colleagues.”
He nodded. “It’s refreshing to know Bellows & Burke bases its decisions on performance as well as…other things.” He looked pointedly at the gold nameplate on my desk when he said the last bit, clearly alluding to my family connection to the firm, and stood up. He walked to my door and turned around to face me. “And Sid?”
“Yes?”
“Technically, we’re no longer colleagues. I’m one of your bosses now.”
After he left, I tried to go through the rest of my emails and sort high priority from low, but it was useless. I’d planned to wait until after lunch, but I wasn’t going to be able to focus on work until I spoke to my father.
I knocked on his office door, and when he looked up from his computer, said, “You have a minute?”
“Sit.” He motioned to my designated visitors’ chair. He had two, but I always sat on the one to the left when facing him.
I sat down with my back straight.
“You doing all right with the whole Perry situation?”
Confused, I echoed, “The whole Perry situation?” And then I remembered my family was under the misconception I was recovering from a broken heart. I had just ended a relationship, but it was with Will, and my heart was more bruised than broken. “I’ll live,” I said, waving my hand. “I was hoping to talk to you about something else. Is Mom around? This concerns her too.”
My dad’s lips pressed together and he furrowed his brow. “What’s this about?”
“Just call Mom.”
My dad removed the phone from the receiver, put it on speaker, and dialed my mom’s number. When she answered, he said, “Barb, I’ve got Sid with me. She has something to tell us both.”
My mom squealed. “You’ve reconciled with Perry and you’re engaged.”
While I rolled my eyes at my dad, we could hear my mom clapping through the phone. “I knew the breakup wouldn’t last. He’s the perfect match for you.”
“Mom.”
“Please don’t tell me you want a destination wedding. You’re our only offspring and we deserve to plan a proper celebration.”
“Mom.” I said it louder his time. “I’m not marrying Perry. We’re not back together.” I contemplated telling them the truth then and there, but I wanted to get to the point of my call.
“Oh,” my mom said, the disappointment evident in her voice. “What did you want to tell us?”
I told them.
“Absolutely not,” my father insisted. “You’re not taking a gap year. You’re not eighteen years old, or even twenty-two, for crying out loud.”
I sighed. “I just need a break, Dad. Maybe it will be a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe a year, but I need it and I’m doing it.”
“What is this about, Sidney?” my mom asked in a much calmer voice than my dad.
“I’m tired of going, going, going. Something’s gotta give.”
“You’re tired? Try being in your late fifties and running your own law firm and then we can talk.” Under his breath, my dad muttered, “She’s tired.”
“You all said it yourselves at Christmas. I’m so focused on the bottom line and winning that the rest of my life is suffering. I need to find balance, but I can’t without giving myself time and space to decide what really makes me happy. I think law and beating our adversaries bring me pleasure, but it’s all I know.”
“Is this about Goldberg? Because—”
The next words out of my father’s mouth didn’t matter. “It’s not. I made this decision over the weekend, before I knew about Michael.”
“What will you do?” my mom asked.
“Barb. Don’t humor her.” My dad glared at the phone as if my mother could see him.
Ignoring him, I said, “I want to go to Barbados for an extended vacation. It could be a few weeks or it could be three months, but I’ll purchase a return ticket to keep immigration off my back. I’m not even asking you to pay.”
“Good. Because the answer would be a resounding no,” my dad barked. “As if I’d pay for my daughter to abandon her responsibilities.”
I groaned. “Dad. I won’t leave for another two weeks or so. I’ll make sure all my cases are in order first. I’ve always done the right thing in the past and think I’ve built up a lot of goodwill to demonstrate I’m not a screw-up and would never put the firm in jeopardy. I’m not planning to start now. I genuinely need to go and find myself, as corny as it sounds.”
“It sounds very corny,” my dad mumbled.
“Is this about losing Perry?” my mom asked.
“No! This has nothing to do with Perry.” I pulled on my hair. “He wasn’t even my boyfriend. We made it up. You happy now?” I sat up sharply, my fingers curled tightly around the rim of the chair.
My parents gasped in harmony before going silent.
I’d done the impossible—I’d rendered Harvey and Barbara Bellows speechless. Dropping my shoulders, I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. It’s not about Perry. It’s about me. But, yes, I was so desperate for something of my own that I chose to bring home a flaky actor as my boyfriend thinking he wouldn’t register on the Bellows & Burke radar scale. In the process, I hurt my real boyfriend, and he decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was wrong about everything, and I’m sorry I lied to you.” I was remorseful about so many things and desperately needed this recess.
“I thought Perry really liked us,” my mom said, her tone heavyhearted. “But it was all an act.”
In hindsight, the surprising shine my mom took to Perry was endearing. “His fondness for you guys wasn’t for show, just his affection for me. But that’s not the point.”
“I’m still waiting for you to get to it,” my dad said. At least he didn’t seem too shook up over my trickery.
“I’ve spent all my adult life chasing one goal after another. First it was the LSAT so I could follow in Dad’s footsteps by getting accepted to Columbia Law. Then it was Law Review, followed by the Bar exam, working more hours than any summer associate ever.” I gawked at my dad. “What summer associate bills three hundred hours a month? They’re usually drinking or feasting on caviar, but not JB here. And now it’s a constant battle to prove I earned this job. I’m only as good as my last month’s billables. Just five minutes ago, your newest partner rubbed it in my face that the firm rewards hard work and performance over nepotism. As if I’m so entitled to think you’d make me partner because you’re my dad.” I let out a deep, frustrated exhale. “I’m so used to battling it out in here that I don’t know h
ow to live out there without having my guard up or being uber aggressive. I must win all the time, from arguments, to silly competitions, even to hailing taxis. If you make me stay, I’m going to resent you and my job, and guess who will suffer the most besides me?”
My dad blinked at me. “Who?”
“The firm and its clients. On the flip side, if I take this time, I might just come back a new person.”
“What if you’re so new you don’t want to be a lawyer anymore?” my dad asked.
Seeing the fear and vulnerability in his eyes—something he didn’t display very often—threatened to bruise my heart more than any breakup ever had. He deserved my honesty. “If that happens, you won’t have to pay my salary anymore.” My dad opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off. “But I’ll always be your daughter, and I’ll always make you proud. It’s in my blood.”
My dad stared at me for a moment. Finally, he gave a reluctant smile and nodded. “What do you say, Barb?”
“When Cherry Bomb’s mind is set, there’s no stopping her,” my mom said. “I think she gets it from her father.”
Robyn
“It says here Fender Music Foundation donates instruments to school music programs by selecting in-need, ongoing, and sustainable schools,” Lance said, pointing to his computer screen. We’d met at a local coffee shop to commiserate and brainstorm possible solutions in the event the rumors were less back-fence talk and more fact.
“Except we don’t know if we even need new instruments. If we don’t, this grant would be meaningless. Maybe it’s our salaries the school won’t be able to afford. If so, no amount of free instruments will make a difference,” I said.
Lance shrugged his broad shoulders. “We have plenty of instruments and they’re in decent shape. The string section could be updated, but that’s about it. Horns and woodwind are new.” Lance took a sip of his coffee. “What should we do?”
I frowned. “I’m not sure it makes sense to do anything until we confirm the rumor. Our school might not even qualify as a school in need.” It was a public school with kids from mostly middle-income families.
Lance scratched his goatee of black hair. “I asked around, and apparently affected teachers aren’t given much notice in circumstances like this. We might not find out until the end of the school year when we’re supposed to be given our assignments for fall semester.”
I knew where he was going with this. “We might not even be told until after the summer is over.”
“When it’s too late,” we muttered at the same time.
“Without enough notice, we’ll never have enough time to apply for grants,” Lance said, his brown eyes wide with fear. With two children under the age of five and a stay-at-home wife, I knew Lance couldn’t afford to lose his job or even a pay cut from reduced classes.
“What should do we do?” Lance asked again, this time with a pleading look.
I was more worried about the kids than myself only because I didn’t have anyone depending on me, and I knew my folks would help me out with money until I got a new job. I felt it my responsibility to play cheerleader and calm Lance down as best I could. “Until we know what we’re dealing with, we can’t do anything. I’ll talk to Principal Hogan.”
“You will?”
I nodded. I didn’t want to, but there was no other option.
Lance let out a sigh of relief and beamed at me. “You’re so great, Robyn. Like a Disney princess.”
Or like Snow White. Lance was beaming at me, but all I saw was Will’s face.
My phone rang as I stood before my closet deciding what to wear on the first day back at school. The second semester always felt like a new beginning, and even though I wasn’t a student anymore, I got the jitters. My outfit needed to be uplifting. It was James on the phone. I’d been both dying to talk to him and dreading it. I knew the topic of Will would come up immediately, and it was a subject I’d been unsuccessfully trying to distract myself from for the last week. Even dancing the year away with Anne Marie and some of our other friends on New Year’s Eve wasn’t a good enough distraction, because each time a guy tried to dance with me, I wished it was Will. I picked up the phone. “What should I wear the first day back at school: a red ombre long-sleeved mini dress over black tights, or black and white gingham pants with a hot pink cable knit sweater?”
Without hesitation, James said, “The dress.”
I smiled. I hoped he would choose the dress since I’d been wearing pants for the last two weeks and needed a change. We were always in sync. “Thank you for confirming my instincts.”
“How did you end things with Will?”
“You don’t waste time, do you?” I said in an attempt to waste time.
“I fully expected you to call me the second you got back to the city. It’s been almost a week.”
“Ah, Will. He was so last year,” I joked.
With a snort, James said, “Terrible attempt at humor, but if you want to go there, Will Brady was last year as well as most of the first ten years of the twenty-first century.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand over my tummy. I was nauseous.
“Rob?”
“He asked me on a date,” I whispered.
James gasped. “Wow. This is just…wow. More exciting than when Nathan fell for Hailey in One Tree Hill.”
“I said no.”
“This is momentous news. I can’t believe you held out on me. Wait. You said no? Why? It’s Will Brady. Your dream man. It’s like Rachel and Ross in reverse.”
“Aren’t you going to even ask what happened to Perry and Sidney? You know—my boyfriend and Will’s girlfriend?”
“Who cares? They’re supporting players whose main purpose is to add conflict and drama to the main love story—you and Will.”
I chuckled despite myself. “Sounds like something Perry would say.”
“Okay. I need to know. What happened with Perry and Sidney?”
“They messed around in a pantry closet. No sex, but Schuester rose to the occasion.” I’d told James about the nickname Perry gave to his penis because…well, because it was too funny to keep to myself.
James whistled through his teeth. “Geez. I couldn’t have written this better if I were the producer of the aforementioned One Tree Hill.”
“I was planning to break up with Perry anyway. What you said at Billy Murphy’s was right. We weren’t going anywhere. It was time. But then he told me what happened.”
“I’m actually impressed with Perry’s honesty. Unless he was planning to dump you for Sidney.”
“Don’t be impressed. He fessed up only after he thought I knew. But, no, he isn’t dating her. It was a one-time thing. He said it never should have happened. The pathetic part was I didn’t care. My heart barely registered the news.”
“I’m glad you’re not heartbroken, sweetheart. His hotness factor notwithstanding, he’s not good enough for my Robyn.”
“Will said the same thing. Of course, he didn’t call me ‘his Robyn.’”
“Which brings us back to Will. When did he ask you out?”
I told James how Will called me the same night Sidney confessed her indiscretion and suggested we go out and show them how it was done, and that it felt more like a need to get back at our cheating exes than a genuine desire to date me. “I don’t trust he really wants me.”
“There’s something between you for sure. I saw it at the bar.”
“I felt it too, but even after I told him I was breaking things off with Perry, he didn’t say anything about liking me.”
“I’m guessing the only reason he didn’t make a move in your childhood bed was because he already had a girlfriend. He’s too decent to cheat or make a move on someone else’s girl. Unlike Perry.”
“What if he just can’t handle being single? Even when he wasn’t dating
Adrienne in high school, there was always a girl waiting in the wings.” Faces of all the girls who got to kiss Will for more than five seconds during a game of Spin the Bottle flashed before my eyes. “There was Jill, Debbie, and Kaurie.” I slid up my bed, leaned against my headboard, and closed my eyes. “I don’t want to be his second-choice rebound girl because he needs a warm body.”
“It’s a possibility.”
“You really think so?” It was easier for my heart to believe Will didn’t really like me than accept I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.
James sighed. “I can’t believe after all these years Will Brady asked you out and instead of being the happiest girl in the world, you have all these doubts. It’s not fair. You deserve to live happily ever after with your own Troy Bolton.”
James’s reference to High School Musical reminded me of something, and I sat up straight in my bed. “Did I tell you how horrid his voice is?”
“Will’s?”
“Yes. Oh, James. If Will’s singing was a food, it would taste like a rotten egg.”
James laughed. “Oh, man. Bad singing doesn’t bode well for a Lane Christmas. What did your parents do?”
“They ate it up.” My mind flashed back to my mom hugging Will and whispering “I love this guy” to me. “They loved him.”
“What about their daughter? Does she love him too?”
I swallowed hard as the ache in my stomach got sharper. The answer to James’s question was yes. The man I loved asked me out, and I’d turned him away. Still, Will didn’t seem too upset when we hung up. Maybe I was right all along. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life by rejecting him, or saved myself from getting my heart broken? I wasn’t sure it mattered, since my heart already felt shattered.
Chapter 18
Sidney
I swallowed the last of my beer and swiveled my barstool to order another one just as Izaiah, my favorite bartender, placed one before me. “You’re the best,” I said. Since I’d arrived in Barbados three days earlier, I’d kept mostly to myself aside from the resort’s daily happy hour by the pool, when I made chitchat with the friendly bartenders and whoever else happened to be around.
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