by Greyspid
But to remain here was folly. I forced myself to move, drawing closer, step by step to the bridge. Then I beheld the ravaged graveyard, I saw the coffins torn up from the soft wet earth. I saw the things climbing out of them, or rather pulled from them, for they were lifeless, surely they were lifeless, and he moved them as he would move puppets!
‘Petyr, run!’ I cried, and tried to obey my own command.
I crossed the bridge in an instant, but I could see them coming up the banks on both sides. I heard them! I heard the rotted coffins breaking under their feet. Illusion, trickery, I told myself once more, but as the first of these horrid cadavers came into my path, I screamed like a frightened woman, ‘Get away from me!’ and then found myself unable to touch the putrid arms that flailed at me, merely stumbling away from this assault, only to fall against another such rotted corpse, and at last to collapse upon my knees.
I prayed, Stefan. I cried out loud to the spirit of my father and to Roemer Franz, please help me! These things had now surrounded me and were pushing against me, and the stench was unbearable, for some of them were newly buried, and others but half decomposed, and others reeked purely of the earth itself.
My arms and hair were drenched from their disgusting wetness, and shivering I covered my head with both arms.
Then I heard a voice speaking to me, clearly, and I knew it was the voice of Roemer, and he said: ‘Petyr, they are lifeless! They are as fruit fallen on the floor of the orchard. Rise and push them aside; you cannot offend them!’
And emboldened, I did.
On I ran once more, crashing into them, tripping over them and then dancing back and forth to catch my balance and go on ahead. At last I ripped off my coat to flail at them, and discovering them weak and unable to sustain an assault upon me, I beat them back with the coat, and got clear of the graveyard. And I knelt down once more to rest.
I could still hear them back there; hear the trudge of their aimless dead feet.
Then glancing over my shoulder, I saw that they struggled to follow, a legion of horrid corpses, pulled as if by strings.
Again I rose; again I went on; my coat I carried now, for it was filthy from the battle, and my hat, ah, my priceless hat, I had lost. Within minutes I outdistanced the dead ones. I suppose that he let them drop finally.
And as I continued, my feet aching now, and my chest burning from my exertions, I saw that my sleeves were covered with stains from the battle. Dead flesh clung to my hair. My boots were smeared with it. And the smell would follow me all the way to Port-au-Prince. But it was still and quiet around me. The thing was resting! The thing had exhausted itself So this was no time to worry about stenches and garments I must rush on
I began in my madness to talk to Roemer ‘What shall I do, Roemer? For you know this thing will follow me to the ends of the earth’
But there came no answer, and I thought that I had imagined his voice when I heard it before And all the while I knew the spirit might take on his voice, if I thought too long and too hard on Roemer, and that would drive me mad, madder than I already was
The peace continued The sky was growing light I heard carts upon the road behind me, and saw that the fields were coming alive to the right and the left Indeed, coming to the top of a rise I saw the colonial city below me, and I breathed a great sigh
Now one of these carts approached, a small rickety wooden cart, laden with fruit and vegetables for market, and driven by two pale-skinned mulattoes, and they did stop and stare at me, at which point I said on my best French that I needed their help and God would bless them if they gave it to me And then remembering that I had money, or had had, I went into my pockets for it, and gave them several livres which they took with gratitude, and I climbed upon the tail of the cart
I lay back against a great heap of vegetables and fruits, and went to sleeping, and the cart rocked me and knocked me about, but it was as if I were in the most luxurious coach
Then as a dream overcame me, as I imagined I was back in Amsterdam, I felt a hand touch mine A gentle hand It patted my left hand and I lifted my right to touch it in the same gentle manner, and opening my eyes, and rolling my head to my left, I beheld the burnt and blackened body of Deborah peering at me, bald and shriveled with only her blue eyes alive, and the teeth grinning at me from behind her burnt lips
I screamed so loud I frightened the drivers of the cart and the horse But no matter, I had fallen off onto the road Their horse ran away, and they could not stop it, and they were soon gone way ahead, and over the rise
I sat cross-legged, crying, ‘You damnable spirit’ What is it you want of me’ Tell me’ Why do you not kill me’ Surely you have it in your power if you can do such things’’
No voice answered me But I knew that he was there Looking up, I saw him, and in no horrible guise now Merely the dark-haired one again, in the leather jerkin, the handsome man I had seen twice before
Very solid he appeared, so that even the sunlight fell on him, as he sat idly on the fence at the edge of the road He peered down at me, thoughtfully, it would seem, for his face was all blank
And I found myself staring at him, studying him as if he were nothing to fear And I perceived something now which was most important for me to understand
The burnt body of Deborah, it had been illusion1 From within my mind, he had taken this image and made it bloom My double, that too had been illusion’ It was as perfect as my reflection in a mirror And the other demon follower whom I fought — his weight had been an illusion
And of course the corpses had been real, and they were corpses and nothing more
But this was no illusion, the man sitting on the fence It was a body which this thing had made
‘Aye,’ he said to me, and again his lips did not move And I understand why For he could not yet make them move ‘But I shall,’ he said ‘I shall’
I continued to peer at him Perhaps in my exhaustion, I had lost my wits But I knew no fear And as the morning sun grew brighter, I saw it shine through him1 I saw the particles of which he was made swirling in it, like so much dust
‘Dust thou art,’ I whispered, thinking of the biblical phrase But he had at that very instant begun to dissolve He went pale and then was nothing, and the sun rose over the field, more beautiful than any morning sun that I have ever seen
Had Charlotte waked7 Did Charlotte stay his hand7
I cannot answer I may never know I reached my lodgings here less than an hour later, after meeting with the agent and speaking again to the innkeeper, as I related to you before
And now it is long past midnight by my good watch, which I set by the clock in the inn at noon today And the fiend has not left the room for some time
For over an hour, he has come and gone in his manly shape, watching me He sits in one corner and then in another, once I spied him in the looking glass peering out at me Stefan, how does the spirit do such things? Does he trick my eyes? For surely he cannot be in the glass1 - but I refused to raise my eyes to it, and finally the image faded away
He has now begun to move the furniture about, and once again to make the sound of wings flapping, and I must flee this room I go to send this letter with the rest.
Yours in the Talamasca,
Petyr
Stefan,
It is dawn, and all my letters are on their way to you, the ship having sailed an hour ago with them, and much as I would have gone with it, I knew that I must not For if this thing means to destroy me, better he play with me here, whilst my letters be carried safely on
I fear, too, that the thing may have the strength to sink a ship, for no sooner had I set foot on it, to speak with the captain and make certain that my letters would be safely conveyed, than a wind came up and rain struck the windows, and the boat itself began to move
My reason told me the fiend does not have such strength as would be required to drown the vessel, but horror of horrors, what if I am wrong I cannot be the cause of such harm to others
So I rema
in, here in a crowded tavern in Port-au-Prince - the second to which I have gone this morning - and I fear to be alone
A short while ago, as I returned from the docks, the thing so affrighted me with the image of a woman falling before a coach that I ran out into the path of the horses to save her, only to discover that there was no woman, and 1 myself was all but trampled How the coachman did curse me, calling me a madman
And that is surely how I seem In the first tavern, I fell asleep for perhaps a quarter of an hour, and was waked by flames around me, only to discover that the candle had been overturned into the spilt brandy I was blamed for it, and told to take my money elsewhere And there the thing stood, in the shadows behind the chimneypiece It would have smiled if it could make its waxy face move Mark what I say now about its power When it would be itself, it is a made-up body over which it has scant control
Nevertheless my understanding of its art is imperfect And I am so weary, Stefan I went again to my room and tried to sleep, but it flung me from my bed
Even here in this public room full of late night drinkers and early morning travelers, it plays its tricks with me, and no one is the wiser, for they do not know that the image of Roemer seated by the fire is not truly there Or that the woman who appears for an instant on the stairs, scarcely noticed by them, is Geertruid — dead now twenty years The thing snatches these images from my mind, surely, and then expands them, though how I cannot guess
I have tried to talk with it In the street, I pleaded with it to tell me its purpose Is there any chance that I shall live7 What could I do for it that it would cease its evil tricks7 And what had Charlotte commanded it to do7
Then when I had seated myself here and ordered my wine, for I am thirsty for it again, and drinking too much of it, I beheld that it did move my pen and make scrawl marks on my paper which say Tetyr will die’
This I enclose with the letter, for it is the writing of a spirit I myself had no hand in it Perhaps Alexander might lay his hands on the paper and learn from it For I can learn nothing from the fool thing except that he and I together can make images the like of which would have driven Jesus from the desert, mad
I know now there is only one means of salvation for me As soon as I finish this communication and leave it with the agent I shall go to Charlotte and beg her to make the fiend stop Nothing else will do for it, Stefan Only Charlotte can save me And I pray I can reach Maye Faire unharmed
I shall rent a mount for the trip, and count upon the road at midmorning being well traveled and that Charlotte is awake and in control of the fiend
But I have one terrible fear, my friend, and that is, that Charlotte knows what this devil does to me, and has commanded it to do so That Charlotte is the author of the entire diabolical plan
If you hear nothing more from me and allow me to remind you that Dutch ships leave here daily for our fair city - follow these instructions. Write to the witch and tell her of my disappearance. But see to it that your letter does not originate from the Motherhouse; and that no address provided for her reply is given which should enable the fiend to penetrate our walls.
Do not, and I beg you, do not send anyone after me! For he will only meet with a worse fate than mine.
Learn what you can of the progress of this woman from other sources, and remember the child she bears within nine months will surely be mine.
What else can I tell you?
After my death, I shall try to reach you or to reach Alexander if such be possible. But my beloved friend, I fear there is no ‘after.’ That only darkness waits for me, and my time in the light is at an end.
I have no regrets in these final hours. The Talamasca has been my life, and I have spent many years in the defense of the innocent and in the pure seeking of knowledge. I love you, my brothers and sisters. Remember me not for my weakness, for my sins, or for my poor judgment. But that I loved you.
Ah, allow me to tell you what just happened for it was very interesting indeed.
I saw Roemer again, my beloved Roemer, the first director of our order I knew and loved. And Roemer looked so young and fine to me, and I was so glad to see him that I wept, and did not want the image to disappear.
Let me play with this, I thought, for it comes from my mind, does it not? And the fiend does not know what he does. And so I spoke to Roemer. I said, ‘My dearest Roemer, you do not know how I have missed you, and where have you been, and what have you learned?’
And the stout handsome figure of Roemer comes towards me, and I know now that no one else sees it for they are glancing at me, the muttering madman, but I do not care. Again I say, ‘Sit down, Roemer, drink with me.’ And this, my beloved teacher, sits and leans against the table, and speaks the most foul obscenities to me, ah, you have never heard such language, as he tells me that he would strip off my clothes in this very tavern, and what pleasure he would give me, and how he had always wanted to do it when I was a boy, and even that he did do it, in the night, coming into my room, and laughing afterwards about it, and letting others watch.
Like a statue, I must have appeared, staring into the face of this monster, who with Roemer’s smile whispered like an old bawd to me, such filth, and then finally this creature’s mouth ceases to move, but merely grows bigger and bigger, and the tongue inside it becomes a black thing, big and shining like the humpback of a whale.
Like a puppet, I reach for my pen and dip it and begin to write the above description, and now the thing is gone.
But you know what it has done, Stefan? It has turned my mind inside out. Let me tell you a secret. Of course, my beloved Roemer never took such liberties with me! But I used to pray that he would! And the fiend drew that out of me, that as a boy I lay in my bed in the Motherhouse dreaming that Roemer would come and pull down the covers and lie with me. I dreamed those things!
Had you asked me last year, did I ever have such a dream, I would have said never, but I had it, and the fiend remembered me of it. Should I thank him?
Maybe he can bring my mother back and she and I will sit by the kitchen fire once more and sing.
I go now. The sun is fully risen. The thing is not near. I will entrust this to our agent before I go on towards Maye Faire - that is, if I am not stopped by the local constables, and thrown into jail. I do look like a vagabond and a madman. Charlotte will help me. Charlotte will restrain this demon.
What else is there to say?
Petyr
NOTE TO THE ARCHIVES:
This was the last letter ever received from Petyr van Abel.
On the Death of Petyr van Abel
SUMMARY OF TWENTY-THREE LETTERS, AND NUMEROUS REPORTS TO THE FILES
(See Inventory):
Two weeks after Petyr’s last letter reached the Motherhouse, a communication was received from a Jan van Clausen, Dutch merchant in Port-au-Prince, that Petyr was dead. This letter was dated only twenty-four hours after Petyr’s last letter. Petyr’s body had been discovered some twelve hours after he was known to have rented a horse at the livery stables and to have ridden out of Port-au-Prince.
It was the assumption of the local authorities that Petyr had met with foul play on the road, perhaps coming upon a band of runaway slaves in the early morning, who might have been in the process of again desecrating a cemetery in which they had wreaked considerable havoc only a day or two before. The original desecration had caused a great disturbance among the local slaves, who, much to the dismay of their masters, were reluctant to participate in the restoration of the site, and it was still in a state of considerable disarray and deserted when the assault upon Petyr occurred.
Petyr was apparently beaten and driven into a large brick crypt where he was trapped by a fallen tree and much heavy debris. When he was found, the fingers of his right hand were entangled in the debris as if he had been trying to dig his way out. Two fingers from his left hand had been severed and were never found.
The perpetrators of the desecration and the murder were never discovered. That Petyr’s money,
his gold watch, and his papers were not stolen added to the mystery of his death.
Ongoing repairs to the site led to the early discovery of Petyr’s remains. In spite of extensive head wounds, Petyr was easily and undeniably identified by van Clausen, as well as by Charlotte Fontenay, who rode into Port-au-Prince when she heard tell of it, and was violently disturbed by Petyr’s death, and ‘took to her bed’ in grief.
Van Clausen returned Petyr’s possessions to the Motherhouse, and at the behest of the order undertook a further investigation of Petyr’s death.
The files contain letters not only to and from van Clausen, but also to and from several priests in the colony, and other persons as well.
Essentially, nothing of any real importance was discovered, except that Petyr was thought to be mad during his last day and night in Port-au-Prince, what with his repeated requests for letters to be mailed to Amsterdam, and repeated instructions that the Motherhouse be notified in the event of his death.
Several mentions are made of his having been in the company of a strange dark-haired young man, with whom he conversed at length.
It is difficult to know how to interpret these statements. But more analysis of Lasher and Lasher’s powers is contained in the later chapters of these files. It is sufficient to say that others saw Lasher with Petyr, and believed Lasher to be a human being.
Via Jan van Clausen, Stefan Franck wrote to Charlotte Fontenay a letter which could not have been understood by anyone else, explaining what Petyr had written in his last hours, and imploring her to take heed of whatever Petyr had told her.
No response to this was ever received.
The desecration of the cemetery, along with Petyr’s murder, led to its abandonment. No further burials were made there, and some bodies were moved elsewhere. Even one hundred years later it was still regarded as a ’haunted place.’
Before Petyr’s last letters reached Amsterdam, Alexander announced to the other members in the Motherhouse that Petyr was dead. He asked that the portrait of Deborah Mayfair by Rembrandt be taken down from the wall.