Once his horse was saddled, Leith gave Blizzard water and drank some himself. They were already down to two and a half canteens. Leith swung into the saddle and nudged Blizzard.
When they were well past the snakes, Leith halted Blizzard at the base of a tall mound. While Blizzard snuffled at the bare ground, Leith scrambled up the mound and dropped onto his stomach.
He scanned the empty, dead hills around him. Nothing stirred between the dusty purple peaks and the patches of yellow-brown grass. After a few minutes of searching, Leith slid down the mound and returned to Blizzard.
Even after the delay, he’d still managed to lose the pursuing Blades. Maybe they’d lost the trail or run out of water or been forced to give up. If they were still back there, trying to stick to his trail, they wouldn’t last much longer.
No matter. Leith had accomplished his goal. He was out of sight and free to circle around. Besides, he couldn’t delay turning around any longer. His own water supplies were already lower than he would’ve liked considering the distance he and Blizzard had to travel yet.
He pointed Blizzard’s nose north to begin the arc that would take him back to the Ramparts and out of the Waste.
12
Renna resisted the urge to itch the sunburn on her nose. She shouldn’t have fallen asleep on that fountain. The midday sun had fried every bit of her exposed skin red as the tapestries hanging over the walls in the king’s apartments.
Across the table, Respen eyed her. She squirmed. Weakness—any kind of weakness, even sunburn—could be exploited. To cover her discomfort, she stabbed her fork into the beef on her plate.
Was Leith all right? Where were he and Brandi right now? Had they reached Eagle Heights yet? If only she had some way of knowing.
Respen’s eyes remained on her as she chewed and swallowed. When he continued to stare, she tried to force a bit of Brandi’s levity into her voice. “Does my sunburn look that bad?”
His eyebrows shot up. He tapped the table. “It does look…”
She reined in her smile at making the king speechless, even if it was at the expense of her looks. Respen seemed to be in a good mood. Perhaps she could ask him for a few things. “It still itches. Is there a healer in the castle that might have a salve?”
“Yes, of course.” Respen’s fingers stopped their tapping. “I’ll have the healer stop by your room.”
Renna squeezed her hands together below the table. “Actually, I was hoping I could go to the healer myself.” As Respen’s eyes darkened to black, she hunched and forced herself to finish. “And I’d like free rein of Nalgar Castle.”
He lashed forward. Renna flinched. A scream curled in her throat.
Respen’s hand stopped six inches from her face. He drew his hand back, clenched his fist, and pounded the table. “No. You think I’d let you escape.”
Her heart thrummed in her throat. He’d nearly slapped her. He’d done it before. He’d come close to doing it again. “No, I wasn’t trying to escape. I just want to be able to move around the castle.”
Somehow, moving about the castle was important. She couldn’t say how. Maybe she grasped at dandelion fuzz. But perhaps there was someone she was supposed to help in the castle. At the least, she’d had the freedom to wander the castle without having to ask Martyn or the guards for permission each time.
Respen relaxed against the chair, fingers drumming the tabletop. “What are you willing to exchange for this freedom?”
Stomach clenching, she stared at her lap. What did Respen want from her? Surely he wouldn’t demand anything untoward, would he? She glanced at the meal spread across the table. “I’ll have dinner with you every night.” It was the most she was willing to offer.
“Accepted.”
Really? Renna glanced at him. What did he have to gain from more time in her company? Did he hope to sway her decision? Or did he, for some reason, enjoy spending time with her? Her skin prickled, and she rubbed her forearms.
Respen leaned forward, his face harsh. “But you must promise that you will not try to escape.”
Promise not to escape? She swallowed and dug her fingernails into her palms. What would happen when Leith returned to rescue her? If she promised not to escape, she couldn’t go with him without breaking her promise.
Or would she? Was being rescued different than escaping?
What should she do? Was her freedom to wander the castle worth the freedom she’d give up?
Wait. The words of the Psalm echoed in her mind again. Wait on the Lord.
Wait for rescue. Don’t try anything foolish.
Perhaps escape wasn’t in her future. Even if she had the skills to sneak through the gates or climb down the castle wall, she wouldn’t get far, injured or not. She’d get herself lost on the prairie and probably die of thirst long before anyone found her.
Wouldn’t it be easier for Leith to rescue her if she had more freedom in the castle? If she couldn’t escape, she could create opportunities for Leith to rescue her.
Taking a deep breath, she met King Respen’s eyes. “I promise I won’t try to escape on my own.”
A slim smile slunk across Respen’s face, though a spark remained in his eyes. His beard grew more pointed as his cheeks tightened. “Excellent. I will inform Second Blade Hamish that he is to escort you about the castle as you wish. For your safety, of course.”
“Of course.” She forced herself to smile. Of course Respen had seen through her scheme. He counted on Martyn countering Leith’s rescue attempt when it came.
At least Martyn wasn’t an unpleasant guard. He was a captive audience when she needed to talk. Maybe if she talked to him enough, his heart would soften by the time Leith returned. Perhaps this time, Martyn would go with them instead of fighting.
Would Leith rescue her before she had to make a decision about marrying Respen? She remembered Leith as she’d last seen him, black hair straggling over his forehead into green eyes that ached with pain at leaving her behind. He was the reason she played for time. More than her parents’ murders, more than the nearly fifteen year age gap between her and Respen, her heart ached at the thought of marrying Respen…and not marrying Leith.
Why did it hurt so much? She and Leith had never even talked about courting, much less marriage. He’d never even shown that much interest in her except his protection of her.
But her brushes with death had a way of stripping away the lies and doubts she’d told herself. She knew her heart. Somewhere along the way, she’d fallen in love with the former Blade Leith Torren.
Everything burned with heat and sunlight. Leith stumbled forward. Was he going in the right direction? What direction what he supposed to be going?
West. That’s the direction he should be walking. He’d turned around to head back. When was that? Yesterday? The day before?
He had to rest. His arms and legs were shriveled, useless husks as he plodded forward. When had he last had water? He couldn’t remember. He’d given the last of the water to Blizzard.
Blizzard. Was his horse still there? Leith lurched to the side as he checked behind him. Blizzard’s head drooped, the sag of his reins trailing on the ground. Leith held up his fist. He still gripped the ends of the reins.
He should rest. They shouldn’t walk in the heat of the day, not without water.
But if they stopped, they’d never start moving again. They’d die where they lay.
He had to keep moving. His feet shuffled forward. A few more inches. A few more feet.
The muscles in his right leg spasmed painfully. He clutched at his leg, gasping in dust and air heavy with heat. When the cramp eased, his fingers refused to straighten from their claw-like grip.
Renna needed him. He had to keep going. He forced a foot forward. The muscles in his other leg cramped. He halted, both hands clutching at his legs. He didn’t even have the strength to cry out at the pain wracking his body.
A deep groan rumbled behind him. He hobbled around as Blizzard flopped to the ground, a
tortured moan ripping from the horse’s chest.
Leith gripped Blizzard’s bridle. “You can’t lie down on me. I promised Brandi I’d take care of you. You can’t die on me.” He hauled on the horse’s head.
A breath huffed over Leith’s hand. Blizzard raised his head and tried to roll to his feet. He only managed to lift the one shoulder before he collapsed. His head flopped in Leith’s hand.
Leith crumbled to his knees beside Blizzard’s head, hands shaking. “I’m so sorry, Blizzard. I’m so sorry I brought us here.” He pressed his forehead against the base of Blizzard’s shoulder. He couldn’t go on. He was as spent as Blizzard. He’d have to see Renna again in Heaven, because he wasn’t going to see her again on earth.
He’d tried, but Harrison Vane was right. No one survived the Waste.
13
Renna limped toward the kitchen tower at Nalgar Castle. Her leg ached, but the break had mended enough that she could limp without assistance. Thanks to the healer’s paste, her sunburn had healed into peeling skin.
Dark clouds gathered overhead. A raindrop splattered onto Renna’s forehead. She held out her hands, palm up, and caught a few more raindrops. Finally, some rain. The farmers would be happy.
As she stepped into the kitchen’s steamy interior, all activity halted. Due to her or the Blade trailing her, she couldn’t tell.
The head cook, a skinny man that appeared ready to keel over from either exhaustion or fear, stumbled over and offered a stilted bow, his hands shaking. “My lady, was last night’s supper not to your liking?”
Renna gave the man her best smile. “The food was lovely, thank you.” She pulled herself straighter. “Today is the Lord’s Day. I’d like to help out so you and your helpers don’t have to work so hard today.”
The cook gaped at her. “Are you sure, my lady?”
She sighed. Of course he’d fear putting the possible future wife of King Respen to work in the castle kitchens.
But she wasn’t some highborn lady not used to getting her hands dirty. She’d spent the last four and a half years washing her own dishes and clothes.
She headed for the large washtub at the far end of the kitchen across from the massive brick fireplace. An old woman, her hands crippled with age, struggled with the scrubbing cloth in her hand. Renna gently eased the cloth from her grip. “I’m not the best cook, but I’m proficient at washing dishes. I’ll take over for a while so you can take a break.”
“Thank you, my lady.” The woman tottered a few steps away.
“Martyn, fetch the woman a chair.” Renna waved a sudsy hand at one of the chairs tucked against the rough, wooden table in the center of the kitchen.
The cook froze, and two of the scullery maids gasped. The old woman’s eyes widened. Renna bit her cheeks to stop her smile. She’d just ordered a Blade around. So what? It wasn’t like Martyn would hurt her. He was her captive audience after all.
Yet would she have dared order Martyn around a few months ago? She’d changed. She could give orders now, if she had to. Did that mean she had what it took to lead? To be queen?
But she didn’t want to be queen. Or lead. Or do anything besides return to a peaceful life in Stetterly. Was that even an option for her now?
Martyn set a chair behind the woman next to the fireplace. She gave him a slight nod. “Thank you, young Blade.”
Renna tossed a towel at Martyn. “Make yourself useful and dry the dishes.”
He clutched the towel and awkwardly grabbed the first plate. Suppressing her grin, she shoved her hands into the soapy water and dug out a pewter plate. Behind her, the normal bustle resumed. Pots clanked. The head cook dished out orders in a rising volume as he grew accustomed to the intruders in his kitchen. Meat and vegetables sizzled in a pot over the fire, emitting a savory aroma that twitched her nose.
She relaxed into the comfortable rhythm of scrubbing dishes, rinsing them, and handing them to the person next to her. It didn’t even matter than the person next to her was a Blade.
What would it be like to have Leith helping her like this? If she closed her eyes, she could picture it. Stetterly Manor was gone, but perhaps they could build a small cabin instead, with large windows overlooking the stately pines of the Spires Canyon. They could wash the breakfast dishes together, laughing and splashing each other until something outside would catch Leith’s eye. A deer, or perhaps a coyote, slinking through the animal trails down to the river at the bottom of the canyon.
For a moment the daydream was so real, she could smell the breeze blowing through the trees and see Leith’s relaxed smile.
She plunged her hands into the sudsy water. The dishes scraped against palms, knocking her back into her reality. The dark, steamy kitchen wrapped around her once again. Martyn stared at her. She forced herself to shrug away the melancholy that drifted in the dust of her daydream. “Sorry. My mind wandered.”
He took the tin cup from her and nodded.
She swallowed a rush of tears as she reached for an oatmeal-encrusted pot. That daydream was just that, a daydream. Either she’d agree to marry King Respen and would live forever in this castle as his queen, or she’d refuse and be used to trap Leith. Then both of them would be executed.
Or, the Resistance would win, she’d become queen, and she still could never return to Stetterly and Leith and the brightness of her daydreams.
The thought ached inside her. Why did she want a future now? For so many years, she’d been so scared of the future that she’d never wanted it to come. Now that she’d set aside most of her fear, the thought of the future taunted her with all the bright hopes that she’d never dared imagine before.
She cleared her throat and glanced over her shoulder at the old woman. “Have you worked for King Respen for a while?”
“I used to serve him at Blathe Manor back when he was Lord Felix.” The old woman’s curled hands rested in her lap. “Served his parents before him.”
“What happened to them?” Renna scraped at the oatmeal crusted on the bottom of the pot.
The woman glanced around the kitchen, but the hubbub drowned their voices out. Only Martyn could hear them. “Killed by Rovers. I believe it was at the young Lord Henry Alistair’s wedding.”
Renna handed the pot to Martyn. Respen’s parents had been killed in the Rover attack at Lord Alistair’s wedding? That was the same attack where her parents met.
“Respen’s father, now that was a hard man.” The woman shook her head and rocked in the chair. “It gave Respen such a heart to help other abandoned boys. He was such a dear boy.”
Dear boy? Renna reached for another pot. Somehow, she couldn’t picture Respen as a child, living under a hard father, losing his parents, having a heart. But then, Renna used to be unable to imagine the same about Leith.
Beneath Respen’s cruelty, was there a hurting heart? Was it her purpose to reach it? Could she?
Not on her own, she couldn’t. God was the healer of hearts. But would God use her?
She didn’t know. But it was her duty to be a light no matter how God choose to use her.
This time, she wouldn’t shirk. She wouldn’t hide.
14
The sky wouldn’t stop crying. If only it’d stop. Brandi didn’t need another reminder that she should be crying too.
The Blade she’d stabbed had died. Shad and Jamie had buried him down the slope from where they’d buried the maid that had been killed. Brandi had watched both burials, a throb coursing through her when she saw the maid’s auburn hair, a color close to her own strawberry blond.
The rain drained everyone’s spirits. Even the horses hung their heads as they trudged higher and deeper into the Sheered Rock Hills. As the rain poured down on them like a constant waterfall from the sky, the trail grew slick with mud. The horses stumbled and scrambled.
Brandi pulled her cloak farther over her head. The lanolin-rich wool repelled most of the water, though some seeped into her clothing. Water cascaded from her unprotected nose and hands.
Shad shouted instructions she couldn’t hear. Hopefully he’d find shelter for them soon. On the horse ahead of her, Lady Alistair shivered.
Shad shouted again and pointed. Through the grey veil of rain, a dark hole pocked the side of the cliff ahead of them. Shad led them toward it, halted, and swung from his horse. With a motion for the rest of them to stay put, he slipped into the opening.
What if he encountered a wild animal? They couldn’t afford to lose him now. He was the only one who knew the way to Eagle Heights. Without him, they’d be stuck living in this endless wilderness, wandering until they either stumbled on some kind of civilization or died.
Shad reappeared a moment later and gripped his horse’s reins. He yelled something that only the people closest to him could hear. It must’ve been the all right signal because two of the guards led their horses into the cave. Lady Alistair, Lydia, and the four former Blade trainees followed a moment later.
The rest of their group crowded into the opening, but Brandi hung back. Getting out of the rain sounded nice, but then she’d be stuck in the same cave as everyone else. Would Lady Alistair, Lady Lorraine, or Shad try to talk to her about the Blade’s death? Jamie had helped her deflect their questions earlier, but would they try again?
Jamie bumped her knee with his horse’s shoulder. “It’s going to be all right.”
“Maybe.” Brandi shrugged and glanced at the opening. Shad stood by the entrance, eyes fixed on her. Everyone except a few guards had already gone inside. Swinging down from Big Brown, she led him toward the cave entrance.
Shad gave her a smile as she passed him. “We’ll be able to rest here for a while. Leith will catch up with us soon.”
What would Leith think if he learned she’d killed? Like Renna, he expected her to be happy all the time. Somehow, she didn’t want to ruin the image he had of her. What if he was disappointed in her? That’d hurt worse than being stabbed herself.
Defy (The Blades of Acktar Book 3) Page 7