by Captive
“No.” Branwen glanced at her, then looked hastily away. “She didn’t see you. I didn’t say anything to her in case I was mistaken.”
“So she’s well?” Visions of Carys immobilized by fractured legs or fettered by irons faded.
Again Branwen glanced at her, but this time a smile transfigured her face. “Oh yes, mistress. She’s very well. Glowing.”
For some reason the knowledge that Carys was glowing—what a strange choice of word—didn’t entirely please her. Of course she wanted her friend to be happy. But it sounded as if she was utterly contented, and how could that be when she was isolated from her people, so far from everyone who loved her?
And then Morwyn caught sight of her, sitting on a stone bench in the shade of a forlorn-looking tree, and her thoughts scattered as emotion choked her throat.
Carys, the girl she’d grown up with, loved as dearly as a younger sister. The one Cerridwen, the goddess of wisdom, had chosen at the hour of her birth. The woman whose friendship she’d missed so acutely from the day they had parted.
“Carys,” Branwen said as they approached the bench, and Morwyn fleetingly wondered at her lack of respect. Carys was their princess, as well as a powerful Druid—even if she hadn’t completed all her training before their world had shattered. Why would a peasant girl address her so intimately?
And then, between one heartbeat and the next, in the moment as Carys turned to look at them, Morwyn registered the long white gown she wore.
Disbelief curdled her belly, shivered through her blood. Carys was dressed as a Roman matron.
“Morwyn?” Carys rose from the bench, wonderment etched on her beloved features.
The Morrigan preserve them. The prayer slipped through her shocked mind before she could prevent it, but she lacked the strength to recant. Because Carys was pregnant.
Words lodged in Morwyn’s throat; confusion paralyzed her brain. Carys flung her arms around her, held her close. As close as her distended womb would allow. And still she couldn’t unlock her tongue.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” Carys sniffed against her throat, as if she was perilously close to tears. Of their own volition Morwyn’s arms wrapped around Carys, seeking as much as giving comfort, and as if in response, the babe kicked hard against Morwyn’s belly.
Carys laughed, a watery sound, and pulled back, still clinging to Morwyn’s arms. And then her smile faded.
“Sweet Cerridwen.” Tenderly she ran a finger along Morwyn’s face. “How did this happen? Where else are you injured?”
Her face. She had almost forgotten. “There was a minor skirmish, nothing to concern yourself with.” She glanced at Branwen and finally understood the reason for the girl’s scandalized expression. “Rest assured I spilled the guts of at least one of the murderous dogs.”
Carys shook her head and took Morwyn’s hands. “It’s so good to see you, Morwyn. But how did you get here? Is Gawain with you?”
Familiar pain sliced through her heart at the mention of his name. “No.” She couldn’t tell Carys about Gawain. Not yet. Her gaze slipped to Carys’s belly and dull rage thudded through her mind. Already the Roman was using her as his broodmare. How could Carys bear to stay with a man who so callously disregarded her rights?
Only her long golden hair remained the same as it had always been. Braided, and threaded through with tiny, glittering jewels.
Carys tugged her down to the bench and continued to hold her hands, as if she would never let go. “You came alone?” A frown creased her brow. “Through occupied Britain? But how—”
Morwyn squeezed Carys’s fingers and shot a glance at Branwen, who had retreated to give them sufficient privacy. “I’m here, Carys. That’s all that matters. It’s you I’m worried about.”
Carys smiled, clearly confused. “You’ve no cause to worry. I’ve been teaching Branwen the sacred knowledge of Cerridwen. She’s a fast learner, Morwyn. But now you’re here I have no fear of the birth at all.”
Morwyn stared into Carys’s bicolored eyes, shock rendering her momentarily mute. Had she understood correctly? Surely she was mistaken.
“You’re teaching Branwen—what?”
Carys flicked her a haughty glance, one she knew so well. And despite the circumstances relief rolled through her. No matter what the Roman had done to her since that night Aeron had attempted to obliterate their people, he hadn’t managed to crush her fierce pride.
“I’m teaching her all I know.” Yet there was a thread of defiance in the regal tone, as if Carys wasn’t entirely sure of the propriety of her actions. “What would you have me do, Morwyn? Keep my knowledge to myself? What good is that?”
“But she isn’t a Druid.” Their ways were sacrosanct. Their knowledge couldn’t be shared with just anyone. It was passed down from Druid to acolyte, a training that began in childhood and continued for twenty summers.
“No.” There was a trace of bitterness in Carys’s voice now. “As far as I’m aware, I’m the only Druid in Camulodunon. And even I was only halfway through my training. Should I allow all I know to die with me, Morwyn?”
Involuntarily Morwyn glanced at Carys’s swollen belly. “You aren’t going to die, Carys.”
Carys tugged on her hands in an impatient gesture. “Of course I’m not going to die during childbirth, Morwyn. I plan on having many children and yes, I intend to teach them all I know. But that’s not enough. Don’t you see? That just won’t be enough.”
The rage resurfaced, obliterating even the shocking revelation that Carys was sharing her sacred secrets with an outsider. “Many children? Is that all you are to him? A convenience to produce numerous heirs for Rome?”
Silence vibrated between them and for one fleeting moment Morwyn was reminded of the last time she’d insulted the Roman. The look on Carys’s face was identical to that time in the sacred mound, when Morwyn had drawn her dagger to plunge through the Roman’s heart.
But this time Carys didn’t smash her fist into her jaw. This time she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly between her lips.
“You know Maximus isn’t like that.”
Curse the gods. “He’s a Roman, Carys. All they care about is producing sons for their corrupt Empire.”
Carys took Morwyn’s hand and pressed it against her belly, and she felt the babe move, as if distressed by the tone of their voices. A painful lump lodged in her throat. A babe was still a babe, no matter its parentage. And with Carys as his mother, at least he would learn there were two sides to every bloodied conquest.
“Maximus already loves our daughter.” Carys’s voice was soft. “And it’s I who want a dozen children, not him. He’d be happy enough with one, Morwyn. With this one. Our daughter.”
She wanted to refute the words. Tell Carys she was wrong. But deep in her heart, she knew Carys was right.
Maximus, the Roman who had stolen her beloved’s friend’s heart, wasn’t like other Romans. Morwyn had witnessed his devotion to Carys as Aeron had tortured him and attempted to subjugate them all to his twisted will. And she had seen the love in his eyes as they had said their farewells.
He would defend Carys’s rights to the death.
She snatched her hands free, wound her arms around her waist. “If he respects you as you deserve, then why make you dress like a weak-minded Roman woman?”
Pain flickered across Carys’s face. “He doesn’t. This is my choice.”
Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands but it did nothing to calm her simmering temper. “Why? Because you’re ashamed of your Druidic heritage?”
She braced herself for Carys’s response. But instead of vitriol, she sighed and slumped against the trunk of the tree as if exhausted.
“You’re still angry with me for leaving.”
Morwyn rounded on her, infuriated she would twist her words and change the focus of their discussion. “Of course I’m not. This has nothing to do with you leaving.” And as the words fell from her lips, she knew she lied.
She had never forgiven Carys for falling in love with the enemy. For choosing him above her people.
Had never forgiven her for leaving.
“Maximus has never asked me to adopt any of his ways.” Carys flicked her a sideways glance. “But he’s a Tribunus. I made the decision to dress as a Roman in public purely to reduce speculation and gossip that might harm his career. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“So you subjugate yourself for the sake of your husband’s career.” Morwyn could scarcely speak for the repugnance clogging her chest.
“No.” Carys sounded oddly wistful. “It’s a compromise, Morwyn. The less attention I draw in public, the more I can accomplish in private.”
Unable to remain still, Morwyn leaped to her feet and paced the length of the stone bench, every step refueling her sense of injustice.
“You shouldn’t have to compromise.”
“We all live with compromise now.” Carys suddenly sounded very old and very wise, and shivers crawled over Morwyn’s arms. In that moment, Carys reminded her of their ancient queen, Druantia, whom Aeron had murdered.
She stopped her agitated pacing and stared down at her fellow Druid.
“I’d never compromise my integrity for a man.”
Carys’s right hand caressed her belly, as if she were comforting her unborn child.
“Nor I.” Then she looked straight in Morwyn’s eyes, as if daring her to doubt her word. “But I’d do anything to protect Maximus and our babe.”
Chapter Fourteen
Bren sat in the corner of the hot room as steam hissed up from the floor and obscured the other inhabitants. During exercising he’d overheard some interesting, if ultimately unbelievable, speculation regarding the Tribunus’s wife. And while abandoning his dignity in the cold room he’d been privy to disgruntled Roman landowners complaining about the ingratitude of the Britons they’d displaced.
They showed no interest in the upheavals in the West. They were, for the most part, veterans, who desired nothing more than to live out the rest of their days in comfort, secure in the arrogant assumption the local populace would never dare rise up against them.
Eyes half-closed, he gave the impression of uninterest and boredom, while his brain processed and filed every snippet of conversation. There was no telling when an apparent insignificant word could prove vital upon reflection.
Everything could be used against the enemy.
Seated on the bench, Morwyn steeped her special herbs and roots in the hot water Branwen had procured. It wasn’t ideal but would suffice for her purposes. She glanced up at Carys, who was watching her with a serene expression on her face. An expression she’d seen countless times on the faces of those carrying the child of the man they loved.
She’d not expected to see it on Carys. Before the invasion, neither of them had craved motherhood. Carys because she hadn’t been interested in taking a lover, and Morwyn because the thought of choosing a man for such honor didn’t appeal.
Carys sighed faintly and shifted position on the stone bench, as if uncomfortable. “How is my mother? Is she still on Mon?”
“Yes. And she’s very well, although misses you greatly.” She was also one of the senior Druids who waited for irrefutable proof of Caratacus’s position before leaving the Isle. A chill shivered through her soul. Should she tell Carys? Or would she betray such confidence to her husband?
“I dearly wish she was here with me.” Carys caressed her belly as if unaware of her action. “There’s always darkness in my mind whenever I think of Mon. I’m so happy you’re here now, Morwyn.”
A trickle of unease shivered over Morwyn’s arms. Yes, she was here. But she didn’t intend to stay. And she had never intended to return to Cymru without Carys.
But that was before she’d discovered Carys’s pregnancy. Before she’d been reminded, so forcefully, of the depth of the love Carys possessed for her Roman husband.
“Why?” Her voice was sharper than she intended. “Is life so peaceful here? Does the call for freedom no longer touch Camulodunum?” She deliberately used the Roman name for the ancient Briton settlement, but experienced no sense of victory when Carys’s eyes filled with pain.
“Peaceful?” Despite the vulnerability in her eyes, Carys’s voice was scathing. “When the Romans drove the Britons off their land, and then used them as slaves to build their heathen temples?” She waved her hand in the direction of the temple adjacent to the forum. “Don’t be naive. We may never see peace in our lifetime.”
Morwyn stared at her, shock punching through her gut. This sounded like the Carys she knew, the Carys who had loathed the invaders and wanted nothing more than to drive them from her beloved land.
She leaned close, brushed her lips against the other woman’s ear. “Whose side are you on?”
Carys’s breath gusted against Morwyn’s cheek. “I never betrayed our people. I never will.” She pulled back and caught Morwyn’s eyes in an unflinching gaze. “I’ll never betray my husband, either.”
Frustration clawed through her chest. “How can you not betray one or the other? When you decry Rome, you betray your husband. When you put his culture above ours, you betray your heritage.”
Carys gave an odd smile, as if she understood Morwyn’s accusation but at the same time pitied her for having uttered it. “Maximus knows my feelings and opinions. There’re no secrets between us, Morwyn. He respects my heritage and, although I hate how his people conquered our lands, I’ve grown to respect certain aspects of his.”
Blasphemy. The word thundered through her mind. There was nothing to respect in the Roman way.
“So you tell your husband everything?” Just as well Morwyn hadn’t revealed her plans for joining Caratacus, or that Carys’s own mother planned on joining the rebels.
Carys’s smile wavered and she finally broke eye contact. “Yes.” But she was staring at her fingers as they twisted the fabric of her foreign gown.
“You never were a good liar.”
Carys shook her head and looked up. “I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. The only secret I keep from Maximus is the knowledge that could send him to his death should he ever learn of it.”
That, she hadn’t expected. “What do you mean?”
Carys sighed and spread her fingers across her thighs. “Do you remember the vision I told you of? Before Aeron lost his mind and murdered Druantia?”
“Yes.” She remembered, because she’d been horrified at the thought of Carys taking the sacred root and entering the gods’ domain without human anchor in the mortal realm.
“I saw . . . many things.” Carys hesitated, as if reconsidering her decision to confide. “This isn’t over yet, Morwyn. Britain will burn, and I’ll do everything in my power to ensure Maximus is in Rome before that happens.”
“And if you told him, he would insist on fighting.” It wasn’t a question. She knew, in some measure, how Carys’s mind worked. “When is this great burning? Soon?” Had Carys foreseen Caratacus’s victory? But if so, why hadn’t she ensured her husband was already at sea?
Carys clenched her fists. “I don’t know. But I trust Cerridwen will give me enough warning to save my kin.”
Did Carys still worship Cerridwen?
“You’d run, rather than fight?” Condemnation dripped from every word and Carys shot her a piercing look before she straightened her relaxed posture.
“Maximus would never run, and that’s why I will never tell him. If we die in a bloody battle here, who will carry the flame of knowledge into the future, Morwyn?” Carys leaned forward, her eyes glittering with iron purpose. “Cerridwen can’t be allowed to fade into the mists of time. She must survive.”
Shivers scuttled over her arms at the intensity of Carys’s declaration. “I thought you’d turned your back on the gods.” The words tumbled from her lips, unbidden, immediately regretted, because of course Carys hadn’t turned her back on Cerridwen. She would never turn her back on the goddess who had chosen her
at the moment of her birth.
Carys frowned and confusion flickered over her face, as if that was the last thing she’d expected Morwyn to say.
“The Morrigan is the only goddess who ever turned from me.” And then her face lit up and she clasped Morwyn’s hand. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Because of the Morrigan.”
Blood heated Morwyn’s face and she attempted to free her hand without success. She’d been so sure Carys had abandoned their gods. Been secretly craving the chance to discuss how confused she was by her lack of faith. But it had been nothing more than wishful thinking on her part.
“No. It’s nothing to do with the Morrigan.”
Carys let out a clearly contented sigh. “The Morrigan saw the light, didn’t she? She realized Cerridwen’s way is the only way to continue onward.”
When all the Morrigan demanded was her children hide on the Isle of Mon? Huddle in sacred groves and give sacrifice that they were still alive? While their people remained enslaved to the invaders?
“No, Carys.” Her voice was harsh. “I no longer believe in our gods. Do you understand? I despise them for allowing Aeron to control them so—so utterly.”
Silence shivered in the air between them. Even the incessant noise from the market faded. For a moment she wondered if her lifelong friend would turn from her for her sacrilege, but then Carys took her hand as if she imagined comfort was required.
“He didn’t control them.” Her voice was gentle, as if she somehow understood, but how could she understand? She had left Cymru that night. She hadn’t fled to the Isle of Mon and continued to hide from the enemy behind sacrifice and prayer. Carys had gone with her lover and faced the world to live among their enemies.
How could she possibly understand?
“Morwyn.” Carys gave her hand a shake to drag her back to the present. “Aeron manipulated the gods, just as he manipulated all of us.”
“True gods would never allow themselves to be so manipulated.” She snatched her hand from Carys and clenched her fists against her thighs. “True gods would never have spewed their wrath on their people the way they did that night.” She glared at Carys, but in her mind all she saw was that dark night in the forest, the unholy wind that had ripped trees from their roots, and the eerie fires that had sprung up as the earth herself had howled in fury.