by Jacelyn Rye
Catherine set her book down and walked over to him. “You just lay back down and sleep, sweetie. You haven’t been getting enough as it is. I’ll go out and check her, and if it looks like she’s started her labor, I’ll wake you up.”
William laid back down, closed his eyes, and just as he fell back asleep, he felt his mother spread the blanket over him and kiss his forehead.
Catherine walked over to the hooks by the door and pulled on William’s warm boots and wrapped one of Henry’s long coats around her. She was already in her nightgown, but she knew that it wouldn’t take her long to walk out and check on Molasses and get back in before she got too cold. She took the kerosene lamp from the kitchen table and turned the knob until the flame grew tall and bright. She closed the door gently behind her and headed for the barn.
She slid the large door open just enough to walk in and listened. The barn was quiet, and she concluded that the baby wasn’t coming yet, or she certainly would’ve heard Molasses. She held the lantern high and walked past the tractor toward the back stall. She had to smile at her husband, insisting that the tractor be stored in the barn. She had tried to convince him on many occasions that it was a tractor after all, made of metal, and could withstand the elements. But, she knew it was a lost cause. Of course she didn’t really mind, and she loved that her husband couldn’t be happier with his new tractor.
She got to the stall where Molasses was laying down, chewing her cud. Catherine watched her for a few minutes until she kicked her leg out a few times and stood up. As she stood, Catherine could see that her labor had started, as she noticed the bloody mucous starting to show. Molasses circled the pen a few times, clearly agitated and uncomfortable.
“I know girl, I know. This is going to hurt a bit, I wish it didn’t…but you’ll be okay.” Catherine watched her lay back down and try to find a position that seemed to be more comfortable than the last. Molasses let out a bawl and kicked her leg again, and stood back up to rub herself against the wall of the barn.
“No, no, Molasses. Don’t do that. That’s not going to help.” Catherine began to worry that this was indeed going to be a hard labor for such a young cow, and decided she better go get William to help her.
She turned and quickly shuffled her feet back toward the barn door, holding the lantern high to light the way. Excited, and worried at the same time for the new baby, she ran and focused ahead to the door. But as she passed the tractor, a piece of rope that was hidden under the straw that covered the floor, unknowingly caught around her boot and cinched tight just as she raised her foot in taking her next step. Her foot was caught, tripping her in the blink of an eye. Catherine’s arms came straight up as instinct told her to try and brace her fall. The lantern flew through the air and landed with the crash of breaking glass. But before Catherine could catch herself, she fell forward, her head coming down on the cold steel of the plow hitched to the back of the tractor.
William lazily fluttered his eyes open and blinked a few times. He wondered how long he had been asleep on the couch. He looked over at his mother’s chair, but just saw her book turned over on the seat holding her place. He closed his eyes again, but only for a second when he realized there was an odd smell in the air. He stared into the room, trying to place the smell. He looked over to the fireplace, wondering if a log had slipped out to the hearth. There was a definite strong smell of smoke, and he sat up to take a deep breath. But as he sat up, his eyes widened in terror as he saw a bright glow coming from beyond the window outside. He threw the blanket off of him and ran through the front door. He only took a few steps into the night when he stopped in complete horror.
Where the barn stood, there was now a raging ball of flames. The entire barn was completely engulfed. The fire roared and crackled as William ran toward the barn, screaming for help. His heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach when he suddenly remembered his mother. She had covered him up, and said she would go to the barn to check Molasses.
William screamed at the top of lungs, as he was filled with the worst fear of his life. “Mom! Mom!” But the flames were so loud, that his screams could barely be heard, even by his own ears.
He ran as close as he could to the barn, but the heat that was blazing off it was so intense, that he couldn’t even get within fifty feet of it without it starting to burn his face. The flames were on every side of the barn, with violent daggers of flames stabbing through the roof. He screamed again and again for help, until he was silenced by the roof of the barn crashing down in a blaze of sparks and flames. He dropped to his knees screaming, “No! Oh my God, no!”
Both Henry and Tommy heard the screaming and came running outside, their eyes filled with horror as the fire reflected its hatred in them. Henry gasped and ran toward William, whose head was buried in his hands as he rocked back and forth. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Catherine? William! Where’s your mother? William! Answer me!”
William looked up at his father, streaks of pain cutting across his face, just as an enormous explosion of gas and metal erupted from the barn. All three of them were knocked back and fell to the ground, covering their faces.
Henry slowly stood up, and shielding his face with his forearm ran toward the barn, although he could barely keep a straight path, after the force of the blast left them all dazed. “Catherine! Catherine! Oh my God, no…please no! Catherine!” But he too, was stopped short from getting any closer. The barn had become a blazing inferno from side to side, top to bottom. Henry dropped to his knees, sobbing and begging God, to please not let this be happening. He fell to the ground clutching his chest and screaming for his Catherine. The fire that had taken her, had just as ruthlessly turned his heart into ash that disintegrated onto the frozen ground.
Chapter 41
Catherine’s services were a blur of faces that passed through William’s line of sight. He and Tommy had sat in the front pew on either side of their father, but he hadn’t heard a word of the sermon. William focused his eyes straight ahead to her casket draped with a small floral spray of pink roses. The vision of the fire, the force of the explosion, and the searing heat were all still very real in him. It didn’t matter if he closed his eyes, or was wide awake. It was all a nightmare that replayed in his mind on a constant loop. The echo of the explosion was still deafening, and he could not stop thinking of everything he should have, or could have done, to save his mother. It didn’t matter that he knew there was nothing that anyone could’ve done, by the time that any help had arrived, there was nothing left that resembled a barn. The charred remains of Henry’s tractor, and a scattering of tools were the only blatant and cruel reminders of what just a few days earlier signified importance and value in their lives.
Henry had stopped eating and became an empty shell of a man, sobbing all through the night, and staring into nothingness during the day. A steady stream of people from the community would stop by, bringing casseroles and loaves of baked bread, and sharing kind words expressing how much they had loved Catherine, but nobody could come even close to comprehending the excruciating amount of pain that was coursing through that house.
But what haunted William more than the vision of the fire that would forever be singed in his brain, were the last words that he and his mother had spoken to each other. He played it over and over, how he had cut her off and spoke to her in such a hurtful tone, while she had just been trying to help him navigate through the various paths his life could take. Her only motive in life was to be the loving and devoted mother that she had always been to him, and he was certain that his harsh response to her advice had hurt her. He knew that for as long as he lived, he would never forgive himself for how he acted. He replayed their conversation over and over. What he wouldn’t give to go back in time, and hug her as she rocked in the chair. If only he could, he would make sure she knew how much he appreciated her caring so much about him, instead of the reality that he acted like a complete ass to her. He remembered feeling her soft kiss on his forehead, and how he let her go to
the barn, instead of getting up and going himself.
It had been almost two weeks since he’d been to work at the lumberyard. He had seen Margaret a handful of times as she stopped by his house, but he had always asked her to go, even though she tried to convince him to let her stay. He had decided that going back to work was a necessity. And it didn’t matter where he was, his heart would be broken one way or the other. William knew too, that there were bills to pay, and there was no way he was going to let their farm get taken away. Losing Catherine, and losing their home, he knew would be more than the fragility of his father could stand. William swore to God and to himself that he would do whatever he could to take care of Tommy and his father. It was the very least he could do, knowing that what had happened to his mother, was his fault.
Two weeks had passed before Henry could bring himself to go near the barn. William had found him, staring blankly into the charred black wood and the ash that would take flight when the wind whispered through, punctuating the agonizing silence.
William walked to his side, and put his arms around the slumped shoulders of a broken man, who not long ago, seemed to have the world by a string. William stared at what the selfish fire had decided to spare, knowing that it hadn’t chosen to spare the only thing that truly mattered. The tractor stood like a statue, black and lifeless. Its bright orange grandeur was long gone and hardly recognizable as the fire and the explosion of the gas tank showed no mercy.
“Why did this happen, son?” Henry eyes were focused ahead, but looking at nothing.
“I don’t know, Dad.”
“I just wish…I knew. I wish I knew what happened.” Henry’s chin began to quiver and William wrapped his arm tighter around him.
He looked down to the ground, “It’s my fault, Dad.”
Henry broke his trance and looked at William. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I should’ve been the one to go to the barn. She did it for me. If I had just…,” William could no longer continue without the tears streaming down his cheeks. “If I had just gotten off of the couch, this wouldn’t have happened.”
Henry turned and put his hands on William’s shoulders. “This isn’t your fault, William. I don’t want to hear you say that ever again. Fault lies within intention. You did nothing. And your mother would be heartbroken if she thought that you blamed yourself. This was an…accident, son, a terrible accident.” They wrapped their arms around each other, and held on for a long, long time.
Chapter 42
Vernon finally dropped his pen to the papers on his desk and looked at his daughter. “What is it now, Margaret? You’ve been pacing long enough for me to know that something is on your mind. I’d rather you just spill it and let me get back to work.”
Margaret stopped and spun around to look at her father. She knew how to work him, just like she knew how to work everyone else in her life. Everyone, except William. And it was precisely that dilemma that had her pounding the floorboards in her father’s office until she got his attention.
She stomped over to his desk, “It’s William, Daddy. He and I were progressing along quite nicely until his mother’s accident. Now, it seems like I can’t get his attention for anything. I do feel badly about Catherine, but really, how long can he keep this up? I’ve tried to be there for him, but he just keeps pushing me away. I’m not happy at all, Daddy.”
Vernon exhaled loudly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh Margaret, honestly?”
Margaret put her hands on her hips, “I mean it, Daddy. I think William was starting to realize that he had feelings for me--feelings that were going to make him want to marry me--and now? Now, we have hardly spoken let alone spent any time together.”
“Well, what exactly would you like me to do about that?”
She raised her eyebrows and looked indignant at him, “I don’t know, but you should figure it out.” She stared a bit longer, and then chose a different, but nonetheless effective, angle. “Please, Daddy? Please? Don’t you want your only daughter to be happy?”
Exhaling loudly again, he looked defeated. “Yes, Margaret, you know I do. But this isn’t like I can just buy you a new horse or something. I can’t just throw money at the problem like I normally do.”
“Daddy, I swear. I will never be happy for as long as I live if I don’t have William Harston. I don’t know what you can do, but you best be figuring it out!” She threw him a few last daggers, and stomped out the door, right before she slammed it as hard as she could.
Vernon shook his head. He was a man who had grown accustomed to having everything he wanted, at whatever cost. And what he wanted, he eventually got, one way or the other. Clearly, he had raised his daughter to have the same expectations. He knew her well enough to know that she would make his life a living hell if she had to want for anything. He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head, deep in thought. He rather liked that his daughter set her sights on something, and went after it. She was very much like him, in that regard. A thin smile crossed his lips, and then it came to him. He knew exactly what to do, and it wouldn’t be that difficult to execute, taking into account recent events.
Vernon walked down the stairs onto the sales floor of the lumberyard. He looked around until he spotted one of his employees. “Jake, where’s Harston?”
“Uh, I’m not sure. Maybe in the back?”
“Well, get off your butt and go find out. Tell him I want to see him in my office immediately.”
Jake squinted slightly back to Vernon and muttered just loud enough to be heard, “Yes, sir.” As soon as Vernon turned to go back up the stairs to his office, he added slightly louder, “You could get him yourself, you lazy son-of-a-bitch.”
Jake walked to the back lot and found William stacking bricks. “Hey, uh, William?”
William squinted and looked up, “Yeah?”
“Thornton wants to see you, now, in his office.”
William stood straight up and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his forearm. “Okay, thanks.”
Jake turned and went back into the store, but William couldn’t move. He had never been in trouble a day in his life. He racked his memory for anything that Vernon could be upset about. He had been doing his job, he thought, just fine. He had taken time off, and had obviously been sidetracked in many of his duties, but surely Vernon could understand that. William’s expression dropped when he realized what it was. Margaret. Somehow Vernon had found out about he and Margaret and what they had been doing. Not only was Vernon going to be mad as hell, William was pretty sure that he was going to get his teeth knocked out and fired from his job, he just wasn’t sure which one would happen first.
He slowly walked up the stairs to Vernon’s office. Preparing himself, he tried to come up with some sort of explanation for his actions with Margaret. He was mostly sick to his stomach knowing that once he was fired, it was going to be nearly impossible to save his father’s farm from bankruptcy. They were already on the brink, especially after the fire claimed all of his father’s farming equipment and the tractor. William squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that the God damned equipment was nothing compared to losing his mother, and cursed himself that he even thought about the two in the same breath.
William knocked on the door, and waited. He took a deep breath and straightened his posture. He was a man, and he would accept the consequences for his actions like a man.
“Yeah, come in.” Vernon sounded even more irritated than William had surmised he would be.
“You wanted to see me?”
Vernon turned from the window behind his desk and waved William in. “Yes, William, come in.”
He walked in as Vernon sat down behind the desk. The last time William was at this desk was with Margaret. His face immediately got hot, and he looked from the desk to Vernon as quickly as possible.
“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
William sucked in a shallo
w breath, “Okay.”
“It was quite a shock, what happened to your mother. I know it’s been hard for you and your brother and your dad. Your mother was…quite a woman.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I think you know why I called you in here. It’s about Margaret.”
William took a deep breath, but looked straight into Vernon’s eyes.
Vernon continued, “I don’t suppose I have to tell you that she is smitten as all get out over you. I’ve never seen her like this. Now I know that this isn’t what’s been on your mind, but I think you should hear me out, anyway. Margaret’s a beautiful young woman, a prize for any man, don’t you think?”
William was becoming more and more confused by the minute and slowly nodded his head in agreement but allowed Vernon to continue.
“Well, she doesn’t want just any man. She wants you. But, being a lady of course, she would never suggest it. You know that, right?” He continued despite the quiet stare from William. “Anyhow, what I’m trying to tell you is this: I am giving you permission to marry my daughter. It’s time for both of you to settle down and start your own lives.”
“But,” William finally found his voice, but sounded anything but sure of himself.
Vernon held up his hand, “Now wait, I’m not done. I know you feel an obligation to your dad, and I get that. So I’m offering you the opportunity of a lifetime. You will marry my daughter and make her happy. And, by the way, I’m sure she’ll make you happy as hell too, as I’m sure you can imagine. And I am offering you a quarter-stake in the lumberyard as my new son-in-law. That’s right, you would be a partner in the business. I don’t think I need to tell you that would come with a substantial raise, compared to what you are making now. It’d be more than enough to take care of my daughter, and take care of your dad’s farm and try to get him back on track.”