by Jacelyn Rye
Adley and Matty had gotten their letters within a couple of days of each other. Each delivering the same foreboding message that whatever plans they may have had, were about to change, and would indefinitely be put on hold. Sarah was beside herself, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not keep the words of the letter from playing over and over in her mind.
You have been inducted to the military service. You are hereby instructed to report to Fort MacArthur.
Both Adley and Matty were being taken from her, and now with every minute that passed, Sarah had to fight the constricting grip around her throat that was laced with fear and shards of her heart. There was nothing she could do to change it, even though she would’ve done whatever it took, as long as it meant they could stay. Sarah was beginning to loathe the feeling of complete helplessness that surrounded her. Not only were Adley and Matty going to war, she was sure that Will was too.
Sarah could not believe the turn of events that once again put her into a tailspin. Prior to Pearl Harbor, for the first time in a long time, she had felt her life coming together. Adley had indeed talked to her father, but had also talked with her mother and Matty. Sarah loved that he had included them in the decision. He knew that all three of them would need to give their permission in sharing her, and they all did. But the part that really took her by surprise was the day Adley took her into the garden. She wondered what he could possibly be showing her, but what he proceeded to do, gave her a memory of the garden that would not be surpassed by any other.
Adley had put his arms around her as they both stared into the pink sunset that graced the farm almost every evening. She felt content just feeling him, and put her arms over his and leaned back into his chest.
“Sarah?” His voice was quiet, with the slightest hint of nervousness.
“Mmmm?”
“I need to tell you something.”
Sarah’s eyes had widened and her posture stiffened, “Okay.”
“I want you to know that I love you very much, and…I would be honored if you would be my wife, and spend the rest of your life with me.”
Sarah couldn’t believe the words that were being said to her and she turned in his embrace to look at him.
He took her hands, and dropped one knee to the ground and continued, “I want you for my own. Will you marry me?”
Sarah had fallen to the ground with him and fell into his embrace crying and laughing and repeating, “Yes!” over and over. She had agreed to marry Adley, she was utterly in love, and she was going to spend her life with this man.
But now as she stared into the garden, the memory replaying in her mind, she couldn’t help but let the silent teardrops fall from her cheeks onto the wooden fence. Her baby brother, who obviously was not a baby anymore, was going to war. It didn’t matter that Matty had become his own man, he would always be her baby brother, and the thought of him being put in harm’s way made her physically sick to her stomach. The sheer ruthlessness of fate taking her from Will, bringing her to Adley, and now taking him from her as well, filled Sarah with such abhorrence that she had begun to dig her nails into the soft weathered posts that guarded the garden. The emotions were too many and too cruel to contain, and she crumpled against the fence and sobbed uncontrollably; her tears staining the faded wood a dark gray. She had no single clue how she could survive the day she would have to tell her brother, and the man she planned to marry, goodbye, and watch them leave for a war that was completely indifferent to any plans they had made, or dreams for the future that may come. The element of it all that petrified Sarah the most, was sending them away to a war that may, or may not, let them return to her.
Despite her will, the Earth kept its routine of day and night until Sarah had one last day with Matty and Adley. She and Matty had decided to pack some snacks and leave the farm to go walking through the fields. Of course, Riley was invited along as well, as they knew they couldn’t have made him stay home. He was as loyal to Matty, as his shadow, and Sarah knew how hard it would be for her brother to leave all of them, including Riley.
They walked for a long time before either of them could swallow their hidden tears enough to talk.
Matty was the courageous one and began. “Well, Sar? I guess I’ll get to see the world, right?”
Sarah swallowed hard and did everything she could to not let the surge of tears break loose. She thought that maybe if she didn’t look at him, she possibly could do it. But, her eyes moved from the path in front of her to her brother’s face, and seeing his attempt to be brave, for her sake no doubt, made the flood of tears burst from her eyes. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him. He had grown to be quite a bit taller than her and he put his arms around her shoulders. “Don’t cry, Sis, please.”
But that was no longer a request that Sarah could control. “Matty,” she sobbed, “I don’t know how I will be able to stand letting you go. This is breaking my heart, Matty! I…I…can’t be without you. You’re my best friend.” Sarah was crying so uncontrollably that she could hardly complete her sentences.
Matty closed his eyes and rested his chin her head. He took a deep breath and whispered, “I know, Sar, I know.” He cleared his throat as his tears dropped onto her hair. “I guess it just goes to show that we don’t get to be in charge of everything, right?”
Sarah shook her head but refused to let go of him. “It’s not fair, Matty. Why? Why does this have to happen?”
“Because--” Matty paused in deep thought, “because it is my duty and privilege to stand up and be counted with those that protect our country, to do what is right. It sure as hell wasn’t fair what happened at Pearl Harbor. I guess I think of it as even though I’m not here with you and mom and dad, I am still protecting you. Besides, don’t you know that it doesn’t matter where you, and where I am, that we will always be with each other?”
Sarah sniffed and nodded her head. She knew that she wasn’t making this any easier for her brother. He was doing his best to ease Sarah’s pain, and she knew she had to do the same for him. She lifted her head and looked at him. He blinked his bright blue eyes at her. “Yes, Matty, I know that. Promise me you won’t forget that. No matter where you are, I want you to make sure you know that I am with you. Promise me, Matty.”
“I promise, Sar. Believe me, I could never forget my first friend, my best friend.”
Sarah hugged him tightly again. “I won’t forget, either. Promise me you’ll be careful, in everything you do.”
“Always, Sis. You know that.”
“No, promise me, Matty. In everything.”
“I promise. I’ll be careful in everything I do.”
She held onto him, concentrating on the moment so it would be permanently embedded in her memory. She could not forget what this moment felt like. She had her little brother, and he was safe. She would need this memory to get her through until the next time she could wrap her arms around her baby brother again.
She let him go and wiped the tears from her cheeks. They just looked at each other, and without a single word being said, Sarah knew what he was thinking, and he knew what she was thinking. Nothing would ever break their bond.
Sarah looked up at him. “Matty?”
“Yeah?”
“Friends?” Sarah held her out palm, doing her best to steady it and hold her breath so she would not start crying again.
Matty looked at her hand and back to her. He smiled as he fought a single tear that fell from his eye and ran down his cheek. He raised his hand and slid it across hers, “Friends.”
Chapter 48
Sarah knew that saying goodbye to Adley would bring its own set of heart wrenching challenges. Not only had it just begun to settle quite nicely that she and Adley were going to be married, but Sarah felt the pangs of regret in time wasted. She knew it couldn’t have been helped, but now that she was with Adley for only one more time before he too, fulfilled his duty to his country, she couldn’t help but feel annoyed with herself and her lack of abil
ity to make a decision. All those months that she and Adley could’ve been falling more and more in love, were gone and couldn’t be recovered. She had to remind herself of one of her father’s favorite expressions, and she hated that she now understood it perfectly. Hindsight is 20/20.
Adley was unusually quiet as he drove them down the road in the farm truck. After she had spent the emotional day with Matty and trying to keep herself together for his sake, she felt exhausted. She was so filled with anxiety for needing to do the same with Adley that it felt as if the weight of a thousand bricks were stacked on her shoulders.
She slid to the center of the seat and wrapped her arm under his and put her head on his shoulder. He moved his hand from the steering wheel and placed it on her thigh. The weight of his hand on her was heavy, and different. His touch was unusual tonight. There hadn’t been a time that his touch didn’t send shivers up and down her spine, until now. His touch felt forlorn and to Sarah, that could only feel heartbreaking.
He pulled into the orchard and turned the ignition off. Sarah shifted to face him and placed her hand on his cheek, trying her best to smile.
He pulled her hand down to his lips and kissed it gingerly. “I’m leaving you tomorrow, Sarah. I never thought I would have to say that to you. I never planned on saying that to you.”
“I know,” Sarah whispered. “I never thought it either.”
Sarah looked out through the window, “Well, you’ll get to see the world, right?” She knew it was no more lessening of the pain than when Matty had said it to her, but she felt lost for what to say to him.
He turned her face to his, his green eyes skirted with anguish. “I’m looking at my world, Sarah.”
Sarah’s lip trembled and her eyes stung once again with fresh tears. “Adley, I would do anything if it meant you didn’t have to go.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I would too. I had far too many things here to ever need to leave. I just can’t believe that--” He tried to continue but his words got caught in his throat.
“What, Adley?” she coaxed.
“That just when I finally get to have you, after all of this time waiting, and wondering how you felt, I finally know. But, it doesn’t matter because I still can’t have you.”
Now Sarah turned his face to hers. “Adley, you do have me. And when you come home, you’ll still have me. I’ll be here, Adley, I will.” Sarah tried to sound as convincing as she felt in her heart.
Adley looked at her hopefully. “I don’t know, Sarah. I’m afraid that you won’t feel the same about me after I’ve been gone awhile.”
“Adley, please don’t say that.”
“I just know that with enough time, you finally forgot about, him.”
Sarah was completely caught off guard and crushed that Adley had managed to bring Will into their conversation. “That’s not fair, Adley. I can’t believe you just said that.”
Adley closed his eyes put his hands around her face. He hung his head down and then looked back to her. “Shit, Sarah, that was stupid. I don’t know why I said that. Please, just forget that I said that, okay?”
Sarah might not have so easily let that comment slide any other time. But, there was no way she was going to start a fight knowing that tomorrow, she would kiss Adley goodbye, uncertain of the next time she might get to do so. She leaned in and kissed him. “It’s forgotten.” She smiled and kissed him again.
The relief on Adley’s face was clear and he pulled her in to a long and deep kiss. “I don’t know what I’ll do without these lips every day, Sarah.” He pulled her on top of him so she was straddling his waist and able to run her hands through his hair.
“I don’t know either. You’ve spoiled me rotten with every kiss, and every touch. I won’t be the same without you, Adley.”
Adley’s hands moved under her shirt and moved along her back in slow strokes. She felt him move around her rib cage until his hands were in front, immediately finding her breasts. He pressed and massaged them and Sarah could feel his fingers rolling the hardening buds of her nipples between his fingers. His kisses became even more urgent, along with cupping his hands over her breasts and squeezing them until Sarah began to squirm.
Wasting no time, he moved his hands along her thighs and pushed her skirt up until it began to bunch around her waist. He rubbed his hand along her thighs and down to the wetness of her panties and moaned into her mouth. “Yes, baby. I knew you would be.”
He pulled them to the side and let his fingers rub back and forth over her. Sarah closed her eyes, relishing the feel of him against her skin, and the feel of him so close to entering her body. She only had a moment to consider his closeness as the next breath she took was cut short as he thrust two of his fingers deep inside of her. She tilted her head back and softly moaned.
“Yes, Sarah, feel me. Feel me, baby.”
He pressed even further into her and began moving his fingers so eagerly inside of her that she knew she couldn’t possibly delay the inevitable.
Her breaths were coming in short gasps now and she could barely manage to say his name between them.
“Let me feel you move, Sarah.” With his other hand, he grasped her hip and moved it back and forth, showing her what he wanted. Sarah slowly began to follow his lead, and could feel his fingers stiffen against her softness. “Keep going, Sarah,” he smiled slightly, watching her intently.
Sarah closed her eyes, no longer in control of her of body that was now pulsing against Adley’s fingers with an urgency that couldn’t be explained in words. Her hips moved faster, and holding Adley’s shoulders for support, felt herself begin the beautiful descent into the place where the world falls away, leaving only splintering pleasure coursing through her body.
She tilted her head back, moaning, “Oh, Adley, yes! Yes!” Her body squeezed and constricted around his fingers until she could only feel herself throbbing against him.
She fell against Adley’s chest, trying to regain her breath. He gently pulled his fingers from her and wrapped her in his arms. “Oh, Sarah. That was so unbelievably amazing. You are so beautiful, do you know that?”
Sarah kissed him, hoping it would stop the flood of tears that she could feel welling inside. The emotions that Adley could bring out of her were more than she could handle knowing that in a few short hours, he would be leaving her.
Adley responded with intense and urgent strokes of his tongue against hers. “I’m not done, baby.”
Sarah leaned back as he raised his hips and unbuttoned his pants. They locked eyes, and he pulled his pants down, reaching behind her to slide them even further until Sarah could feel the warmth of his legs against the inside of her thighs. Satisfied, Adley reached behind her and pulled her tightly into him. She could feel every inch of him, pressing against her. Her mind began to race, but she had no time to fully assess what was happening as Adley once again pulled her down to his lips.
“I want you, Sarah,” he whispered into her mouth. “I’ve always wanted you; from the first moment I saw you, I’ve wanted you.” He pulled her up off his lap to a straddling position over him. She looked down into his face, as she felt him once again move the cotton of her panties to the side, fully exposing her. He took his rod in his hand and positioned it directly under her. Looking at her with raging lust in his eyes, he whispered, “Come to me, Sarah.”
Sarah was frozen in place, if she was breathing, she didn’t know it. After everything that she and Adley had done, none of it had ever come to this moment. She knew what he wanted from her. She no longer had the luxury of time to decide what she would do if presented with these circumstances.
He nodded his head reassuringly to her, and she finally took in a breath. She could feel herself begin to shiver, “Adley, wait. I’m not sure.”
He furrowed his brow, in obvious confusion. “Sure of what?”
“I’m scared. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“It’s okay. There’s nothing to be scared of. I won’t hurt you, I promise
, Sarah. Trust me.”
Sarah was completely torn. She did trust him. But she also knew that this decision was one that could be made only once, and then it would be gone. “I do trust you.”
Adley smiled, “Good, now please, don’t make me wait any longer to have you.”
Sarah implored his eyes as she searched for the answer. She didn’t know how to rein in her emotions or logic but felt herself slowly sink down lower to Adley anyway. Almost immediately she felt him against her, and she froze in place. The pressure of his tip against her soft opening was dizzying. He was warm against her, and her body responded with a gush of warmth of its own. Adley looked up at her, breathing in short gasps, still holding himself in position under her.
He moaned, and closed his eyes. “Oh Sarah, yes. Come on, baby.”
Sarah lowered herself slightly more until she could feel herself widening against the size of him. She could already sense her body stretching to accommodate him, even though he was only a fraction inside of her. She slowly raised her hips and felt her lips drag over his tip until he had completely left her. She came down again, this time her body aware of what was entering, and was unmistakably more prepared, as his head easily pressed into her crevice again.
The look on her face must’ve conveyed her insecurity, as Adley whispered, “Don’t be scared, baby. You feel amazing. I can feel how much you want me, too. Don’t stop, Sarah.”
She pulled herself back up until his tip was just barely being kissed by her soft center and looked into his eyes. She wanted to remember how his eyes looked when he looked at her. She wanted to hold the memory of how he looked in this moment of his body so close to entering hers. Her mind swirled with questions and uncertainty. Could she actually do this?
Adley answered for her. “Yes, Sarah. Do it again, let me have you.”
She lowered herself again, this time surprised at how easily he could’ve slid even further inside of her. Her body ached against the magnitude of Adley’s body that was slowly penetrating her. She couldn’t be certain, but she felt herself close around his tip in its entirety, and she stopped. She couldn’t deny that feeling him was driving her body absolutely wild, and felt that if it weren’t for her mind impeding it, she could easily let herself go and fall into a million pieces as the delicious waves crashed through her body once again.