by Lake, C. J.
“Ethan made it sound pretty important,” Tragan remarked.
“Look, he means well, but the study is all wrong for me. And I am not interested in picking up and moving all the way to Europe for six months.”
“Wow, six months?” Tragan echoed, disappointed. Though he supposed that would be better than the grad school scenario, which would probably amount to a few years. Still, the thought of Andy leaving for six months was undeniably painful.
“Yes, it’s ridiculous,” Andy stated. “Please forget he ever mentioned it. I’ll contact him later to clear things up. Oh, look, there’s Jamie,” she said quickly changing the subject. Preoccupied now, Tragan shot an apathetic glance over his shoulder. He saw Bardo walking jauntily toward them, barely holding back a celebratory grin.
Snatching up his cue again, Bardo said, “Okay. Her name’s Lily. She’s a senior at BC. So she couldn’t talk long, because it’s her first night on the job and she didn’t want to get in trouble, but she gave me her number.”
“Nice,” Tragan said, impressed. “Good work, buddy.”
“Thanks.”
“But that was the last stroke of luck you’re gonna have tonight,” Tragan added, as he lifted the triangle off the pool table. “Get ready to be humiliated in front of Andy.”
“Tragan!” she scolded, but both guys just laughed. And for the next couple hours, Tragan accepted what Andy had said--that London was off the table--and almost pushed the thought of her leaving out of his mind.
~
Tragan awoke around two a.m. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, he realized he was still bothered. He rolled onto his side, putting his arm around Andy’s waist. Instantly, she stirred, sleepily curling her body against his. Good, she was sort of almost awake, Tragan rationalized, before his gruff voice cut into the darkness. “Andy?”
“Mmm…?” she murmured, arching her back just enough to nudge his cock with her round, sexy ass. Determined to ignore his arousal, Tragan knew he should inch back before she got him too hard to think straight--yet he stayed exactly where he was, savoring how warm she felt against him.
“Listen, baby, we need to talk about the London thing,” Tragan said softly.
It took a second for her to react. First with a sigh. Then with: “There’s nothing to talk about. I told you--”
“I know what you said, but I’d like to know more about the study. Can’t you tell me anything about it? Don’t make me call my new homeboy, Ethan, for the details,” he added sarcastically.
Andy turned over to face him. “Fine, what do you want to know?”
“Why does Ethan think it will help you?” After she gave him the overview, Tragan said, “Wait, maybe that could be something.”
“No.”
“You don’t even want to give it a shot?”
“Well…what about us?”
Tragan tightened his arm around her waist and assured her, “We can do the long distance thing.”
“That never works,” Andy mumbled.
“It can for us.”
“Please don’t push this. I don’t want to go.”
Frustrated, Tragan said, “But…I don’t want you to miss this chance because of me.”
“The whole thing’s a long shot anyway.”
“Still, even so--”
“Look, it’s too far from my family. It’s rainy over there. And besides, I’m applying to grad school for the fall. Taking part in Dr. Strand’s study would totally screw that up. Final point: you wouldn’t be there.”
“But I’d be here, waiting for you,” Tragan said.
“What about the lease on the apartment?” Andy asked.
Tragan couldn’t help scoffing at that rather feeble point. “Please, who cares about that? I’ll cover it myself, I don’t care. Or Bardo can move in if he wants,” he said since Matt and Pellican had their own places now.
“Oh, so then you want me to go?” Now Andy sounded either hurt or annoyed. Probably both.
“Of course I don’t. I’m just saying that we could make long distance work. Yeah, it would definitely suck,” Tragan acknowledged, “but we could do it.” Without a word, Andy rolled over again, giving Tragan her back. “Don’t be mad,” he said after a moment, his voice lower and more intimate.
“Gee, my boyfriend’s just trying to shove me to another continent. Why would that be a problem for me?”
“C’mon Andy it’s not like that. You know it. Fine, we’ll drop it, okay?”
“Fine.”
“Well, don’t sulk,” he added huskily, leaning in closer.
“I’m not,” she managed as he began kissing the back of her neck.
“Good,” Tragan whispered against her skin and continued kissing her. When he heard her sigh, he pressed his body more suggestively into hers. Soon she was subtly meeting each push of his hips with her own.
“Maybe I’ll go sleep in the reading room tonight,” Andy whispered. In the darkness, Tragan smirked. So much for not sulking. And he assumed it was an empty threat since she was clearly getting aroused, too.
“Oh, you think we’re gonna sleep apart?” he challenged. “Is that what you think is about to happen?”
“That’s what we’d do if I went to London,” she snapped.
“Okay, like I said, we’ll drop it.”
Several seconds passed quietly between them, until Andy said: “Now I’m awake and I can’t back to sleep.”
“Yeah?” Tragan said, grinning, eager to take the hint. “That’s terrible,” he added almost mockingly, sliding his hand up Andy’s belly and caressing her breast through her shirt. She let out a tiny moan as he peeled the strap of her tank top down and began gently rubbing his arousal up against her rear end. Then she was rocking her body into his. “What a shame…”
“What are you going to do about it?” she said, her voice thick with desire as he kissed the curve of her neck and gently bit her shoulder.
“I guess I’ll have to tire you out,” he murmured. He reached around to touch her between her legs.
Soon Andy was sighing and urging Tragan on as he pushed her panties out of the way and continued stroking her the way she liked. As the sensations built, she reached up to grab onto his arm, digging her fingers into his bicep as if holding on for balance or trying to bring his hand even deeper. “How’s that?” he rasped into her ear as his hand worked her hard now, and her moans transformed into harsh, choppy breaths that told him she was close. By the time she climaxed, he was crazed with wanting her.
When she tipped her face back, Tragan lurched forward, capturing her mouth in a possessive kiss. Andy moaned as they kissed hungrily--until finally, she tore her lips from his. “I’m not tired yet,” she said in a husky whisper and rolled onto her stomach. Wordlessly, she drew up on her knees. With his breath coming up short, Tragan nearly growled in response as instinct took over. He covered her body with his. “Yes…please…” he heard her whisper, before he shoved his boxers down and hastily grasped for a condom.
He let out a rough groan as soon as he slid into her. God, this was his favorite place to be. She was already slick and burning-hot. The pleasure of feeling her against his cock was indescribable, and riding her at this angle only made his dick harder. Patience, coherent thought--both were lost in the tides of raw, animalistic sex. All Tragan felt was Andy’s body, warm and supple and welcoming. All he heard were her anguished pleas for more, as she rocked against him. “Yes…” she whispered feverishly, “Harder…”
Overcome by lust and need, he picked up his pace, plunging deeper and harder as he flattened his chest against her back, and brought his mouth to the nape of her neck. “I love you, Andy,” he uttered gruffly, before he began to climax. She might have said she loved him, too, but he wasn’t sure, because his mind was roaring, as immense pleasure poured through his body. Through shuddering breaths, Andy let out a weak, blissful-sounding sigh…and words were set aside.
Chapter Thirty-six
“I can’t believe what I�
�m about to say,” Andy whispered to Emma, after scurrying across the terra cotta tiles of their mom’s Tuscan-style kitchen and accosting her sister by the pantry. “Mom actually seems to like Tragan!”
Supportively, Emma smiled. “He definitely seems like a good guy, Andy--very genuine.”
“You think?” Andy said hopefully.
“Absolutely. I like him,” Emma said, as she reached for an opened box of graham crackers. There were two shelves in Kathryn’s pantry that were stocked with food for Emma’s sons--generally an array of bland snacks that were fairly unappealing to adults. “He seems pretty laid back, which is good. And I can tell he’s really into you.”
“How?” Andy asked curiously.
“Just the way he looks at you whenever you’re talking, like he’s listening to every word, like he’s completely taken with you,” Emma said. “And he’s been extremely patient with Jake’s magic tricks tonight, which, believe me, is not easy after the twelfth repetition.”
“True--though, when I slipped out of the dining room a minute ago, Jake had actually moved on to knock-knock jokes.”
Blinking her pretty hazel eyes, Emma shot a woeful look to the ceiling. “I’d better get back in there. He only knows like one.” She slid out two sheets of graham crackers and wrapped them in a paper towel.
“So Ben really prefers those to the black forest cake Mom ordered from Pierre’s, with authentic Swiss chocolate and imported Italian cherries?” Andy said. “And I’m only half-kidding.”
“Ha, I know. Four-year-olds never appreciate imported fruit,” Emma said dryly. Once she closed the pantry door, she spoke a bit more earnestly. “Everything is going great tonight, Andy. Don’t you think?”
“Yes! The whole birthday dinner has actually been easy and relaxed.” They’d gotten through the entire meal, from salad to singing, without an unpleasant or awkward moment. “To be honest, I was worried.”
“You shouldn’t worry so much. First of all, Mom is too much of an etiquette fangirl to snub your new boyfriend or try to make him feel awkward.”
“That’s true, you’re right. Mom’s way too classy for that,” Andy said.
“Exactly. Also, Darcy and Ted always keep the conversation going,” Emma pointed out, referring to Ethan’s parents, who, with the exception of Tragan, were the only non-family guests at the table. As Emma said, the Fields were reliable conversationalists. Tonight they had told some amusing stories about their cruise to Alaska, also engaged Andy about her upcoming plans for graduate school, and even shared a few anecdotes about Ethan’s adjustment to English cuisine. Fortunately, Darcy didn’t mention anything about the research study Ethan wanted Andy to try.
“So, no worries,” Emma stated, breaking Andy’s train of thought.
“I’m just relieved that Mom is really giving Tragan a chance,” Andy said then. “I was afraid she’d cling on to this fantasy of Brad and me married someday.”
With a roll of her eyes, Emma said, “You know how Mom is. She has the best intentions of course, but she’s always been one to look at style over substance. Remember even when we were younger and we used to ask her about how she and Dad fell in love? She’d tell us all about the BMW he picked her up in, the fancy restaurant he took her to, all the stuff he bought her. I mean, I get it; she’s telling the story of how Dad swept her off her feet. But you have to admit, her focus can be kind of superficial.”
Before Andy could respond to that, the kitchen door opened and Tragan ducked his head in. “Hey--you okay?”
“Sure, why?” Andy said, walking closer.
“Just you’ve been gone a while, I wanted to make sure,” he said after he stepped into the kitchen.
“I’m good,” she assured him, as her sister came up behind her.
“Excuse me,” Emma said, slipping past both of them to return to the dining room.
“Also I wondered: where’s the bathroom?”
“Oh,” Andy said with a laugh, then pointed to an archway near the refrigerator. “You can go through that door. The closest bathroom is past the front entrance where we came in and down the hall to the left.”
“Got it.”
When she reached up to kiss him on the cheek, Tragan turned his head to kiss her on the lips. Curling her fingers around his shirt for a second, Andy kissed him softly. “See you back at the table in a few minutes.”
~
Those few minutes came and went, but Tragan didn’t make it back to the table. He was held up by Andy’s mother, who was waiting for him in the hall.
“I’d like to speak with you,” Kathryn said quietly.
“Sure,” Tragan said, feeling uneasy right away. She’d been kind and polite to him throughout Andy’s birthday dinner, but cornering him away from the other guests threw up a red flag.
“Everyone is in the den right now with espresso and cordials,” Kathryn explained. “Andy is playing a game with her nephews, so we have a moment to talk.”
Cautiously, Tragan waited to hear what the woman had to say. He’d been hoping to win her approval by simply being polite, being good to Andy--basically, by being himself. Maybe that was too naïve of a strategy, he thought now, as Kathryn’s eyes--which were as big and blue as Andy’s, but somehow harder and icier--drilled into him. “Tragan, this isn’t an easy conversation, but it’s necessary,” she began. “I can see that you care for Andy, and I’m sure it’s mutual. However, right now she has an incredible opportunity to get well again.”
“The London thing,” he blurted, not meaning to interrupt.
Kathryn’s eyebrows tilted up. “Good, so you do know about it. Then you should also know how significant this could be. And the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Andy’s not obligated to school or a job yet. She has time to do this now.”
“I know that, Mrs. Delphin,” Tragan agreed. “Believe me, I’ve tried to convince Andy to give it a shot.”
“You have?”
That obviously surprised her. Did she think Tragan was some sort of selfish dick who was guilting his girlfriend into staying? After releasing a visible sigh, Kathryn said, “Well, that makes me feel better--to know you legitimately care about what’s best for Andy.”
“Of course I do,” he insisted, secretly irritated by her assumption that he didn’t. Should he tell her straight out that he was in love with Andy? No, it didn’t feel natural or comfortable for him to blurt out something personal like that.
“Well, if that’s true,” Andy’s mom continued, still appraising him. (Despite being about seven inches taller than her, Tragan felt he was being talked down to.) “I trust you’ll do whatever you have to so that Andy doesn’t miss this chance.”
“Like I said, I’ve tried to--”
“No, you don’t understand. Andy is not going to go anywhere as long as you’re in the picture.”
“Um…what?”
“You heard her tonight, talking about graduate school with the Fields. She’s not even considering any schools outside of Boston. Now why would she limit herself like that?”
“Boston is her home,” Tragan offered lamely.
“It’s because she doesn’t want to be apart from you. That’s obvious.”
Tragan wasn’t sure what to say. He had a feeling it was true. He also had a burning need not to be apart from her, either, so it was kind of hard to criticize the idea.
“Put someone else ahead of yourself,” Kathryn advised with an unmistakable air of superiority. “Now, you say you care about Andy, but if you really care…” She let her voice trail off, suggestively.
Tragan wasn’t letting her off easy with vague hints. “Then what?” he said.
Kathryn crossed her arms over her chest, kept her tone even and her eyes sharp. “Then you’ll let her go.”
“Of course I’ll let her go,” Tragan said, hoping--or maybe trying--to misunderstand. “I’ll encourage her to go--”
“No. I mean: let her go,” Kathryn reiterated, enunciating those last three words.
Her cer
tain meaning socked him hard in the chest. God, could she seriously expect him to…what? Break up with Andy? Cut her loose and walk away?
“It would only be temporary,” Kathryn rushed to say. “The study only has another six months. After that, Andy will come back and the two of you can resume.” The words sounded hollow, and Tragan had a tin taste in his mouth as he listened. “But for now, the only way Andy will consider this is if she doesn’t have something else keeping her here.” Like a boyfriend she’s afraid to leave behind, Tragan thought. “Obviously any attempts you’ve made to convince her to go to London aren’t working, but if you were out of the picture--temporarily--then it will be easy to get her to see reason.”
Now tears glazed over Kathryn’s eyes, like ice thawing in front of him, and she blotted them quickly before they could fall. “I’m sorry to put you in this position, but I have no choice. I’m begging you, please, don’t hold Andy back right now. If you truly want her to be well, then you’ll break ties with her. Think of it this way: if you’re meant to be together, you’ll find each other again.”
The hollow, empty words had returned to close out her plea. Only this time, Tragan could see the utter desperation bleeding through Kathryn Delphin’s composed façade. After a brief, aloof smile, she turned and click-clacked down the hall.
Consumed in thought, he stood there for several minutes. Vaguely, he heard the laughter of Andy and her nephews sounding from the den. More prominent, though, was the riotous disquiet of his mind. What the hell was he going to do? His general concern for Andy was now saturated with uncertainty and frustration and even a sense of panic. It wasn’t fair; this couldn’t be happening. How was he supposed to give up the girl he loved?
Chapter Thirty-seven
By the time they returned home that night, Tragan’s gut had tightened into a tense knot. He kept playing Kathryn Delphin’s words in his mind. Put someone else ahead of yourself. If you really care about Andy, you’ll let her go.
Temporarily. That was the part his mind kept replaying. Could it really work? If he loved Andy, he should do what was in her best interest. But maybe he could do it in a way that still left the road paved for them. He’d already tried to convince her to consider London and she’d shut down the idea right away. Apparently Ethan and her own mother couldn’t convince her, yet if it weren’t for Tragan, surely she’d consider it. Why not? What else was tying her here right now?