“It’s hard to believe she wasn’t even allowed to meet with Dr. Childers so she could deny the charge to her face. There should have been a board of inquiry.”
“I agree, but sixty-five years ago professional women weren’t supposed to smoke, and the students didn’t have the same rights they enjoy today. Nana never got over being accused and punished for something she didn’t do.”
“I guess Dr. Childers never lived it down, either,” Julie surmised.
“For some reason Hawk’s made me feel the same way. Like I’ve done a terrible thing and there’s no chance of forgiveness.”
“That’s absurd, Laurel.”
“Well, I guess I’ll find out on Tuesday.” She finished the other half of her sandwich, then drank the glass of milk she’d poured. “Let’s hope our meeting has a positive result. I wouldn’t want to go through the rest of my life with this haunting me.”
“He’s really gotten to you, hasn’t he.”
“Yes. Even I’m surprised.” She put the milk carton back in the refrigerator. “I suppose it’s because he and Scott were so close. It makes me wonder how many things my husband shared with Hawk that I don’t know about—things Scott didn’t like about me.”
Julie shook her head. “Scott adored you, Laurel.”
“I know he loved me, but we both had our flaws. Some of mine were glaring. Maybe he complained to Hawk once too often.”
“Name one.”
“After the way I cried because we still hadn’t conceived after our first three years of marriage, he couldn’t understand why I refused to start the adoption process. Maybe deep inside he felt cheated of a family and confided his frustration to Hawk.”
“But Scott knew the fertility specialist hadn’t given up on the idea of the two of you having your own baby. As it turns out, you are going to have Scott’s child!”
“Even so, it might’ve created too much pressure to bear over the years. If Hawk picked up on that, he could resent me for it.”
“What goes on between a husband and wife is no one else’s business!” Julie said staunchly.
“Try telling that to two buddies in combat who depend on each other for their very lives, knowing they might not make it back.” She washed her empty glass. “I would imagine Hawk considers me a very selfish woman.”
“He has no right to judge.”
She flashed her sister a frank glance. “I’m afraid Scott gave him the right. They had their own private brotherhood. Every Air Force wife knows that.”
Julie’s features softened with compassion. “Did Scott exclude you sometimes?”
“Not purposely. But there were occasions when he had to talk something over with Hawk. It wasn’t enough to tell me.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“It’s okay. It goes with the territory when you’re married to a hotshot. If my not wanting to adopt until we were a 100 percent sure we couldn’t have our own children hurt him more deeply than he let on, then I suppose he made it Hawk’s business.”
Julie moved closer. “If he’s holding a grudge against you for something your husband told him in confidence, then he isn’t the terrific guy Scott thought he was.”
“Thanks for saying that. I happen to agree with you. Fortunately for me, I’ll be able to face my accuser as early as Tuesday morning, unlike our poor Nana…” She pasted on a smile. “We’ve come a long way, baby.”
Julie gave her an encouraging hug before they left the kitchen together.
THE FORDHAM PANCAKE HOUSE chain covered Colorado to Oklahoma. Before going overseas, Nate had eaten at several of them. No matter the day or hour, they were always crowded.
He’d arrived at nine-thirty under an overcast sky to give the head waitress his name and get in line so he’d be assured a table.
Earlier he and Rick had grabbed a breakfast of toast and coffee at the house. After dropping his brother off at the ski shop with the promise that he’d be back by noon, Nate left for Denver.
Since Laurel Pierce was so determined to hear an explanation of his treatment of her, he would oblige. It would take about one minute. Once he’d satisfied her curiosity, he’d pay for her meal and leave her to enjoy it by herself.
Unless of course she chose not to show up alone…
It was possible that the man who’d answered the phone would be with her. Fine; what he had to say could be said to both of them. In fact, Nate would derive great pleasure from confronting the two parties involved in Spade’s betrayal.
When Nate’s name was called, he followed the waiter to a table that was being cleared. It happened to be near the window, where he had a view of the parking lot. From this vantage point he’d spot her the moment she arrived.
While he waited for her to make an appearance, he ordered coffee and scanned the front page of the Denver Post he’d purchased on his way inside.
Normally he wouldn’t have paid any attention to the people seated around him. But when he heard a couple of truckers comment on the good-looking woman coming toward them, he thought they meant one of the waitresses. Distracted, he looked up from the article he’d been reading.
By now it seemed that most of the males within his vision were also watching the progress of the stunning woman with black hair and long legs walking toward Nate. She’d come alone.
During the few moments he’d been reading, Laurel Pierce had entered the restaurant.
She was dressed in the same long-sleeved black sweater he’d seen her wearing on the elevator. Actually, it was a stylish short sweater coat with a matching skirt.
This time he got a glimpse of the deep-purple top she’d worn with her outfit. The black belt made of the same sweater material tied above her belly, subtly revealing her voluptuous shape.
An unexpected rush of adrenaline sent a wave of heat through him, driving him to his feet.
“I’m sorry if I’m a few minutes late.” She sounded a little breathless as she sat down in the chair he held out for her. A sweet lemon fragrance caught him off guard, putting his senses on full alert.
“I was early.”
Disturbed because he couldn’t stop his body’s involuntary reaction to her presence, he signaled the waiter before sitting down.
More surprises awaited Nate when she met his gaze head-on. He saw no guilt or evasion there. Instead, the blue eyes gazing into his seemed to implore him.
For what? Forgiveness? Understanding? He’d already been down that road with his father. Forgiveness had nothing to do with it. Only shock and pain.
The waiter chose that moment to come to the table. After Nate passed on ordering anything except a refill of coffee she said, “I’ll have a small orange juice and a cinnamon Danish.”
When their server walked off, she sat back in the chair. Nate noticed she wore no rings.
“Well, Hawk. This is your opportunity to tell me why you’ve developed such a strong aversion to me. It must’ve been building for years to have such a negative effect on you.
“Now that I know Scott has nothing to do with it, I’m ready for whatever blame you want to assign. That way if we should ever meet again in this lifetime, I’ll understand when you walk past me as if I don’t exist.”
That would be an impossibility. He could never feel indifferent to Spade’s widow. There was too much history. She’d done something too painful to forget. She was too attractive….
“I’d hoped to avoid this,” he began.
She frowned. “If that was true, you wouldn’t have interrupted me midsentence on the dance floor. Now that we’re alone, so to speak,” she said with quiet irony, “why don’t you get this off your chest? I can handle it. I’m a big girl now, no pun intended.”
Forthrightness seemed to be an integral part of her personality. It was too bad constancy to her spouse hadn’t been part of the mix. His gaze lowered to her unborn child, the baby that should have been Spade’s.
“Did your husband know about your pregnancy before he died?”
“Yes,
” she answered without hesitation. After a pause she cocked her head. “What’s the matter? Could it be that when you saw me in Breckenridge, you felt left out because it was a piece of news he hadn’t shared with you?”
Nate grimaced. “What are you insinuating?”
“Why are you so angry?” Her calm demeanor shook him. “Let’s not pretend that Scott didn’t confide in you about…almost everything.”
“Is that how you saw our relationship?”
“It was a fact of life I came to grips with early in our marriage. Fifteen thousand miles apart, and he’d steal from our bed to talk to you in the middle of the night. You were his mentor and confidante, as well as his hero.”
Mentor? Hero?
This meeting wasn’t going the way he’d imagined.
“Tell me, Major. Did you ever see the film Ben Hur?” He blinked, nodding briefly. “Scott once compared you to the anchor horse in the chariot race, the strong one that steadied the others and helped them keep their heads as they roared around the Circus Maximus.”
Nate wanted her to stop. He didn’t want to hear anymore. Just get this over with, Hawkins.
“When did you tell him you were pregnant?”
She leaned forward with a puzzled expression on her face. “You mean you want chapter-and-verse-when?”
Perspiration broke out on his body. “Yes.”
“Approximately an hour before his jet malfunctioned,” she said dry-eyed. “I have no doubt that if he’d survived, you would’ve been the first person he phoned with the news once the demonstration was over.”
His hands formed fists on his thighs. She’d just confirmed his growing suspicion that the crash had been due to pilot error.
Her eyes glittered with a strange light. “You’re directing all your pent-up anger at the wrong person. We both know Scott didn’t have to fly that day, but he never could resist the opportunity to show the brass how to get the job done right.” He heard a distinct tremor in her voice.
“When you two meet again in the next life, you have my permission to tell him how you feel about it. But I’m warning you now, you’ll have to stand in line!”
Before he knew what had happened, she’d pushed herself away from the table and walked off without looking back. Nate leaped from his chair and threw a twenty on the table, then dashed after her.
She moved fast for a woman so close to her delivery date. He didn’t catch up with her until they’d exited the outer doors of the restaurant. A cold gust of air bringing the snow with it blew around the corner of the building, disheveling her hair.
“Laurel! Stop for a moment!”
Her steps slowed. She turned, revealing a face devoid of animation. “I thought I could handle this meeting. I was wrong.”
The wind whipped against her body, outlining her pregnant shape. She made a brazen picture, standing there with the fur trim of her sweater brushing her cheeks. Almost as if she was mocking him—daring him to speak his mind before she disappeared.
“I must admit I wondered where you found the nerve to face me when we both know Spade wasn’t the father. If you left him to figure that out once he got up in the air, then you’ll have some explaining to do when the two of you meet in the next life.”
He zipped up his leather bomber jacket to insulate himself against the wind and snow. “That’s it. That’s all I had to say.”
Turning his back on her, he walked toward the Blazer, which was parked at the end of the first row of cars. He released the lock to open the door, but a detaining hand on his arm prevented him from climbing in. When he turned around, he discovered that Laurel had followed him.
Here it comes, tear-filled eyes and all.
“I know you truly believe what you’ve just accused me of, and I can understand why. But you’d be a 100 percent wrong.”
What was she leading up to? He’d let her have one last shot for the hell of it, then he’d take off.
“I thought Scott shared every secret with you. Obviously he kept this one from you, probably because he was afraid to admit something he considered a flaw, especially to someone he admired as much as he did you.
“The truth is, before he went into combat the last time, he had his sperm frozen for in vitro fertilization.”
In vitro?
“He didn’t have much faith in the procedure, but he was willing to try it for my sake. You know Scott. He wanted to get me pregnant without the help of modern technology.” She grimaced wryly. “Never mind that he flew planes that were the very latest in modern technology.”
Nate gave her a sympathetic smile, well aware of the irony in Scott’s attitude.
“While he was gone, I went into the hospital for an implant. A couple of months later the doctor confirmed I was pregnant.”
At the unexpected revelation, a tremor rocked Nate’s body.
“The second I left his office, I phoned Scott while he was suiting up for that air show. When he heard the news, do you know what he said as soon as he’d stopped whooping for joy as only he could? ‘If we have a boy, we’re naming him Hawk.’ That came as no surprise to me, of course. The rest is history.”
By now Nate couldn’t breathe, let alone move. His boots seemed to take root in the snow-swept pavement.
She raised herself on tiptoe to press a kiss against his jaw. The warmth of it stole through his system, melting the chunks of ice already breaking up around his heart.
“Thank you for being so fiercely loyal to him. No wonder he loved you. But I have to tell you I couldn’t handle the whole squadron giving me the Hawk treatment. Once was enough.” She laughed gently as she wiped her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Laurel,” he said in a tortured whisper. Her explanation had plunged him into a new world of pain.
Thrilled as he was that Spade had known he was going to be a father, Nate would never be able to forgive himself for his cruel treatment of her.
“It’s all right now that I understand.”
He didn’t deserve her generosity of spirit. He squeezed his eyelids together as if to blot out his shame, the very word he’d used in discussing her with his brother.
She knows I know her secret. It appears the woman has no shame.
I agree it looks that way.
It is that way.
A groan of self-condemnation escaped his throat before he opened his eyes again. She was smiling at him, drawing his attention to the shape of her mouth. He forced himself to look away.
“I can see I’ll have to send out birth announcements to all his buddies with the explanation that thanks to modern medical technology, Scott really is the father. The guys will read between the lines and figure it out.” He managed an answering smile as he glanced at her again. “They’re not hotshots for nothing.”
She brushed a hand over her face to wipe off the snow descending on them. Huge flakes covered her black hair, creating an illusion of lace. It brought back memories of the lace mantilla—handmade by nuns—that he’d bought for his mother in Alencon, France, several years earlier.
“Since Scott isn’t here to do it, I promise to send you an announcement with a picture after the baby arrives. I’ll mail it care of your father’s store in Copper Mountain.”
Catching the edges of her sweater to her throat, she said, “Now if you’ll forgive me, I need to get home before this becomes a whiteout. Goodbye, Hawk.”
The second she started to turn away, he grasped her arms to prevent her from leaving.
“I’m not letting you drive anywhere in this. Where’s your car?”
“At the other end.”
“What make is it?”
“A blue Cavalier.”
“I’ll find it. Give me your keys.”
“You don’t have to do this. I’m perfectly capable.”
“Don’t argue with me. Please.”
“All right.” She rummaged in her purse and handed him her key ring.
“Stay right where you are,” he warned.
“Yes, sir!”
>
With her humorous comeback ringing in his ears, he raced down the line of cars until he found hers. He backed it out and drove it to where the Blazer was parked.
When he saw her walk around to the driver’s door, he got out and headed her back to the passenger side.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m driving you home, of course.”
“But how will you get back here?”
“A taxi. In you go.” He waited until she’d swung her legs inside before shutting the door. Despite her pregnancy, she managed the maneuver with grace. Snow had built up on the windshield. He turned on the engine and the wipers, then asked for directions. As soon as she told him, they drove out of the parking lot.
Once they’d joined the mainstream of traffic, he reached for his cell phone. The information operator gave him the number of a taxi company, and he called for a cab to meet him at the address Laurel had given him.
“It’s lucky we weren’t inside the restaurant long. Your heater’s already putting out warm air.”
“It feels good in here.”
He cast her a furtive glance. In profile her straight nose gave her face strength and character. Nate had seen very few women in his life he considered true beauties in the classic sense. Laurel was one of them.
It wasn’t simply her physical features. It was the way she moved, the way she held herself. Even in the last stage of pregnancy, or maybe because of it, she radiated an inner confidence he hadn’t noticed when he’d first met her ten years ago.
She would’ve been only nineteen back then. Since that time she’d matured. Approaching motherhood had made her even more appealing, if that was possible. Spade had been cheated out of this image of her.
He cleared his throat. “How soon are you due?”
“Three and a half weeks. But as my mother-in-law reminded me the other day, Scotty came ten days early, so you never know.”
That was a piece of information Nate hadn’t heard before. He grinned. “Sounds like Spade.”
“Doesn’t it?”
He turned left on Lima Street as she’d instructed. This was an older neighborhood, filled with solid family homes and well-kept yards.
Another Man's Wife Page 6