by Naomi Niles
I couldn’t control it. It was like my hand had a mind of its own. It lifted from my side and zipped into his face like they were opposite ends of a magnet. The stinging sound of my palm connecting with his face bounced off the walls of the nearby apartment buildings. He laughed and put his hand on his cheek. “Yeah,” he said, “that stings. But not as much as it will for you. Have a good night, Caroline.”
I slammed the door hard enough for it to rattle the walls, then ran to my room and dove onto my bed with rivers of tears falling from my eyes. A rush of emotions hit my heart like hurricane winds as I bawled on top of my mattress. I couldn’t believe that Johnathan had the audacity to come into my home and speak to me the way he did. The room spun as if I were intoxicated as I tried to catch my breath. It eluded me like a housefly as I began gasping for air. My phone rang, but I couldn’t answer it. My hands were bricks. My arms were steel poles bolted into cement. My eyelids were heavy like the concrete walls that held the building together. Suddenly, I blacked out.
It was 10 pm when I woke up again. My head was throbbing. The bright bedroom light shined down on me as if I was on an operating table. It took me a few moments before I realized where I was. Finally, my eyes adjusted to the brightness and I sat up on my mattress. I had missed the last four hours of my life, suspended in complete darkness. Minutes later, my phone rang. Lazily, I reached for it, searching for the strength to bring it to my ear. “Hello?” I said in a voice devoid of strength.
“Caroline? My God, where are you? Is everything alright?”
“Harrison?”
“Yes, this is me. Caroline, what is wrong? I’ve been calling you for the past two hours, and I figured something was up, so I came to your apartment. I got more worried when I saw your car parked out front. Where are you? Are you alright?”
I searched for ways to put my words together. “I’m… I’m in my bedroom.” Suddenly, a wave of tears hit my eyes as I remembered the events before I blacked out. “Come in, please, Harrison!” I begged. “Come in! I need you to come in!”
“I am on my way.”
Not even a handful of seconds later, pounding erupted on the other side of my door. I pulled myself out of bed, stumbling to the ground as soon as my feet hit the floor. My legs were jelly. It felt as though I had to learn how to walk all over again. I grabbed hold of the dresser and pulled myself up as the pounding continued. “Caroline, it’s me! Open up!” I braced myself on the walls as I crept to the front door.
“I’m… I’m coming, Harrison.” I spoke in a voice just above a whisper. I knew he couldn’t hear me, because the banging itself was loud enough to drown me out. I slipped and fell to the ground. It took me seconds to push myself up against the wall. Finally, I made it to the front door. As soon as I unlocked the latch, Harrison twisted the knob and found me leaning against the wall.
“Oh, my God! Caroline!” he said, taking me in his arms before I slid to the ground. “What happened to you?! Are you alright?! Did someone attack you!?” I looked at him. His face was like a fortress. The fire in his eyes was hot enough to keep the sun blazing. I spoke with tears as he walked me to the couch and laid me face up on the cushions. “Did someone attack you?!”
I shook my head no as tears cascaded down my cheeks. He popped up and stormed through the apartment, ripping doors open, then slamming them shut as if he was searching for someone hiding within the walls of my home. He came back into the front room with his fist balled and his chest puffed up like a cloud full of adrenaline. “Who was it, Caroline?! Who was it!? I will take care of it right now!”
I shook my head, trying to speak in between the cries that left my lips. “I’m…” I gasped for air, “I’m OK… I’m OK.”
“Bullshit, Caroline! You’re crying, and you look out of it! What happened?!”
He sat next to me on the couch and guided my head onto his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. That’s all I wanted. That’s what I needed to calm down. I felt protected in his arms as he whispered, “Shhh, it’s going to be OK.” Afterward, I told him what happened with Johnathan. As he sat and listened, his nostrils flared like tiny umbrellas as his cheekbones gyrated inside his mouth.
“Fucking asshole,” he said. “I’ll fix that. I’ll fix that for sure.”
“No.” I put my hand on his leg. “No, Harrison. There is nothing we can do. I let him in, and he said what he said. I should’ve been up-front with him in the beginning.”
“I don’t give a shit, Caroline. That gives him no right to step into your home and berate you like that. No right at all! I will find him and break every damned bone in his face!”
“Harrison, no. Please. Can we just leave it alone? I’m sure everything will work itself out. I mean, I’ve been a part of rumors before, so it’s going to be fine. It’s not like I go to ASU anymore anyway. I’ll be fine. Let’s just go out of town tomorrow like we planned, alright? Let’s just get away. I will deal with the backlash whenever it comes.”
“No, WE will deal with it.”
I loved to hear him say that, but I knew this would all fall on me. I was the one who slept with my best friend’s father after she died. I would be the one who was looked at like I took advantage of an older man’s vulnerability. Everyone within our circle knew that I had a crush on him, so it would be logical to jump to that conclusion. I loved the fact that he was there, but now, I was leery of the whole situation. Maybe I went too far, and my heart put the wrong words inside of Sarah’s tongue when she spoke to me. Maybe I went at this completely the opposite way that I was supposed to. I wanted to push Harrison away and tell him to go home, but I couldn’t. I was entangled in the ropes of my own heart, and I had no idea how to get free.
Chapter Nineteen
Harrison
I was fuming when Caroline told me what happened between her and Johnathan. I stormed out the door, hoping, by chance, to run into him as I made my way back home. I wanted to stay with Caroline overnight, but she told me it wasn’t necessary and that if he showed up again, she just wouldn’t let him in the house. It was the fact that he not only disrespected my daughter’s death, but he tried to evoke a feeling of guilt inside of Caroline. No matter how much I pleaded with her, she wouldn’t give me his number or any other information that would lead me to him. She knew that I was going to break every bone in his body and that was a fact.
I called her as soon as I got home. “Harrison, I am fine, trust me. His words just threw me for a loop, and I didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t lay a finger on me or touch me physically in any way.”
“He is a little punk, that’s all. A little punk.”
“I smacked him pretty good, though.”
“That’s my girl.” Her laughter faded out soon after I said that. I didn’t know what she was thinking. I hoped Johnathan didn’t push her further away from me because that was the last thing I wanted. That would make me hunt him down like a bloodhound. “So, um, maybe you should get some rest for our trip tomorrow.”
“Right. Yeah. I think I will do that.”
“Are you OK?”
“Harrison, I am fine.” Her tone was stern, and after that, I knew not to ask her anymore. Through the silence, she spoke up again. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I am just under some stress right now.”
“No need to explain. I totally understand, alright? Get some rest. I’ll pick you up tomorrow evening.”
“OK.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
A part of me wanted to contact some of Sarah’s old friends just to find out where Johnathan was at. She told me that they weren’t seeing each other, but he was interested. I wished that she would have been up-front with him in the beginning, but there wasn’t a time for me to say that to her. I laid sprawled out on my bed. The comforter was cool against my flesh as I watched the clock move from 12 am to 4 am. Another long night of restlessness, but by now, I was used to it. I could count on one hand the num
ber of times I slept through the night since Sarah had passed away. My body was accustomed to sleeping for just a few hours each night. Either way, I was good to go as long as I had a cup of coffee to start my morning.
I grabbed my phone and flipped to my voicemail. “Hey Dad, it’s me again. I know we talked about this before, but, I miss Mom. I know she left us high and dry and come to think about it, I’m not sure if I miss her. I think I just want to see her so she can see what she missed out on. I’m about to graduate from college and move to California. I bet her sorry ass is somewhere eating tuna out of a can.” She paused. “Nope, I don’t miss her. That’s pure anger. Anyways, thank you for stepping up to the plate. I love you. Call me later.”
Her voicemails were small pots of gold left scattered in my heart after she left. Until now, I didn’t understand why I never deleted her voicemails, but I always kept small things that revolved around her. I still had the pregnancy test her mother pissed on when we found out she was pregnant. Those were things that meant the world to me, and now, there wasn’t a dollar amount in the world that would get me to give them up. They were worth far more than anything money could buy. I got out of the bed and walked into her room. The peaceful air met me on cue as I stood under the door frame. Her room was supposed to have been cleaned for a few weeks now, but I couldn’t find the strength to do it. As far as I was concerned, this room was going to stay put for as long as I lived. “I love you, Sarah.” With that, I closed the door and made my way to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. I had a long day ahead of me, so it was best to get things started now.
Time flew by, and before I knew it, the clock shifted past 5 pm. I sent Caroline a text just to make sure she was still going to take the trip with me. Minutes went by before she sent a response. “Yes. I am going to keep my word. I will be ready whenever you get here.” She didn’t seem confident in her choice, but that was fine by me. I just wanted her there, and I knew that I would be able to soften her heart as we rode out to California. When I got to her apartment, she had her bags packed and waiting by the door. She smiled reluctantly. “I’m ready.”
“Good.” She wore tight-fitting jeans with a black, short-sleeved T-shirt and heels. She always wore heels, no matter the occasion, and it never failed to turn me on. “Are there any more bags?”
“Just those.”
I picked them up and walked out of her home as she locked the door behind us. I didn’t utter a word to her after I opened the door for her to get inside my truck. I had a surprise for her, and I knew it was going to change her mood. “Hungry?”
She kept her eyes on the passenger’s side window. “No. I ate a little before I left, so I should be fine.”
“Caroline, you know that Johnathan is a jerk, right? He only said what he said to hurt you, and that’s it.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the truth.”
“It wasn’t. You didn’t wait for my daughter to pass away. He doesn’t know what is going on because he is on the outside looking in.” I grabbed her hand. Initially, she was hesitant to receive my touch, but eventually, she gave in. “He doesn’t know how I feel about you. He doesn’t know that I am the one who started everything, and if need be, like I said, I will handle it. I will handle all of it.” She didn’t respond. Her blank gaze was fixed on the window as if she was longing for a dream that would never come true. I faced forward and kept down the freeway.
As soon as I veered off one of the exits, she spoke. “Where are we going?”
I smiled. “You’ll see.”
We arrived at a small airport on the outskirts of Cottonwood. I drove down a back pathway until we got to the runway of the airport. “A plane?” she asked, looking around at the buildings.
“I figured that we could travel in style.” I parked near one of the small airplanes and pointed. “That right there is my private jet.”
Her eyes bulged. “Your private jet?”
“Yup. Come on.”
I unlocked the doors as she stepped outside, in awe of the airplanes ahead of us. Suddenly, her frown vanished from her face like tears in the rain. She walked towards the jet as I trailed behind with two bags in my hands and one draped over my shoulders. “You have a jet?” she said, forgetting about everything that happened just a day ago.
“Yeah. I thought it would be a good idea to fly out there, you know? A small change of plans, but I didn’t think it would be an issue.”
“An issue?!” A wide grin stretched on her face as she threw her arms around me. I laughed because Sarah would’ve done the same thing. Anytime she felt down, I would do something for her to brighten her day. They were just alike in that sense, and I knew she would snap out of her funk as soon as she stepped onto the spacious Jetcraft. The ride was filled with laughter and drinks, and in almost no time, she was back to the Caroline I knew before her run-in with Johnathan. She kept trying to go over things for the meeting, but I redirected her.
“No, listen. We have discussed the meeting enough, alright? It will take care of itself. Now, just relax and enjoy the trip.”
“A private jet, though?” she said, leaning back in her leather chair with a glass of chardonnay in her hand. “Really. How much money do you make a year?”
I smiled. “Just a few nickels and dimes. A couple of pennies. There are a lot of incentives throughout the year, though. Extremely generous bonuses, perks, and whatnot. This is just one of them.” I winked at her as she shook her head and took a sip of her drink. Normally, I would tell women what I made just so they would fall for me quicker, but I didn’t take that approach with Caroline. She wasn’t just another one-night stand to me. I saw something permanent in her. She made me think of the voicemail that Sarah left me about settling down. It could very well be her, and the irony would be almost unbearable.
Before I knew it, we arrived at the hotel in California. I placed the room key in her hand. “That is for you,” I said, smiling. She looked disappointed. “Are you alright?”
She toyed with the key card in her hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. Do you mind if I check your room after we go to mine?”
“Sure. No problem.”
We headed up to the 17th floor inside the hotel. The king-sized bed sat against the wall, covered in white linen. The tile matched the color of the sheets, and the room was large enough to fit her living room and bedroom inside. “Oh, wow,” she said as she walked to the window. “This is beautiful. My room looks nothing like this!”
“It does,” I said as I placed my bag on the mattress. “Maybe not quite as large, but it is still a nice size.”
She ran her fingers along the windowpane, then turned towards me. “Alright. Well, I guess I’ll let you get unpacked. I’m going to head to my room.”
“Alright. Well, I am just one flight up if you need anything. Enjoy yourself, and oh, if you want to go downstairs and grab a drink,” I handed her the company card, “take that. I trust you won’t be down there buying everyone drinks or purchasing bottles for you to bring to your room.”
She laughed as she took the card from my hand. “No, I wouldn’t do that. Well,” she winked, “maybe one bottle… or three.”
“If that happens, I better be sure to get an invite.”
“You will.”
Her smile lingered in the air like a fresh aroma as she stood by the door, hesitant to walk through. I saw her in my peripheral vision, but I told her that I would be on my best behavior, so I didn’t push the envelope. If anything was going to happen, she would have to sign off on it first. I heard the door open and shut just a few seconds later. I sighed, hoping that she would have decided to stay and keep me company, but it was her choice. I unpacked my bag, hung my suit inside the closet, then relaxed on top of the bed with the remote in my hand. It was going to be a long trip, especially if we kept our distance from each other.
Chapter Twenty
Caroline
I sat in my room on the edge of my bed, watching the time move from minute to minute on th
e small clock that rested on top of the nightstand. I had no idea that Harrison was as well off as he was, because he never showed it. From the books, I could estimate how much money he made, but the fact that he had a personal jet and could get separate rooms at a five-star hotel in Los Angeles said a lot. From the looks of it, it seemed that Harrison was a perfect fit for me, and it wasn’t just about the money. It was the way he could calm the storms that raged inside of me. How, with a few words, he could smooth over the roughest areas of my life. He was a businessman, and on top of it all, he was attractive even at his age.
I fell backward onto my mattress. I imagined that I could see through the ceiling and observe what Harrison was doing right at this moment. Maybe he was in the shower? I envisioned water dripping from his muscles as he washed his jet black hair. I bit my bottom lip and slid my hand into my vagina. My fingers walked inside of my panties as images of his physique taunted me from above. Stop it, Caroline! Stop! No sex! I snatched my hand out of my thong and laid still in the bed. As much as I tried to shoo the thoughts away, they came back again with a vengeance.
I sat upright and paced the room as my pussy lips throbbed. A fiery rage of lust burned in my heart as I tapped my foot against the carpet. I glanced at the door, and in an instant, I picked up my room key, grabbed the company card, and left. When I got onto the elevator, I pressed the button for the ground level, but I started going up. Shit, this fucking elevator is going up!? It felt like fate had pushed me closer to Harrison, and in no time, the doors on the 17th floor opened up. A man smiled at me as I stood to the side in the elevator. “Good evening.”