I’m careful with the chalice as I move across the circus to the only person I would consider an enemy.
Elias always goes back to his boat while the circus is going on. I find him sitting on his porch, and he doesn’t even look up as I approach.
His head jerks up. “What are you doing here?”
“I need your help.”
He sneers at me. “I don’t want you to blow up my boat.”
“I’m not going to blow up your boat, but I still need your help.” Not that anyone would miss this decrepit thing. I know of at least three other empty boats that he could take over that are nicer than his.
“It’ll cost ya.” He gives me a toothless smile.
I roll my eyes. Elias always wants something. It is usually easy, like the whiskey. “What’s the price?”
He crosses his arms and smirks at me. “Depends on what you’re asking for.”
I hold up the chalice. “I need some of your blood.”
He flinches and cowers away. “I don’t like blood.”
I nearly laugh out loud. “You live in a murderous circus. Surely you’ve seen your fair share.”
He pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Why do you think I hide out here?”
I never thought about that before. It doesn’t matter anyway. “I still need your blood.”
“If you want that, sweetie, I’ll need a kiss.”
For once, I wish Benny was around. He’d punch Elias in the nose. “In your dreams.”
“Then you ain’t gettin’ your blood. Er… my blood. Whatever.” He waves his hand and takes a long drag on his cigarette.
Time to practice my ancestral magic. I hope this doesn’t hurt him much. I’ve never done this before, and I’m a little nervous it won’t work right. I sit next to him, my chalice gripped in my palm. He grins like he’s getting his way. I hold the chalice under his face, and he cowers.
“Sit still,” I command. He stops moving. Holy smokes. It works. Cecilia mentioned I could compel humans to do things, but I haven’t tried it yet.
“What are you doing to me?” His voice has gone up three octaves.
I place my hand on his head and concentrate on his nose bleeding. Within seconds, it starts flowing. I hold the chalice under his nose and catch the blood. He squirms, but he can’t get away.
“Stop,” he yells.
I have enough, so I remove the chalice. “Thank you,” I say. I concentrate on stopping the blood flow and allow him to move. Then I step away because I don’t want him retaliating.
He wipes at the blood. “What’d you do that for?”
“I need your blood for a spell. I’m freeing the islanders. With any luck, when you take your last load of people to the mainland, you can get off with them.”
His face doesn’t reveal any emotion, and I’m not sure if he’ll leave or not. He doesn’t seem like the type who would succeed well in the real world. But then, at least his life won’t be in danger each new moon.
I walk back up the dock and stare in trepidation at the boat next door. This will be the easiest blood. Benny will give it to me without question. But am I ready to talk to him?
I know he’s still in the boat since the birds are all hanging out around the door. A few lights flicker in the windows, and I imagine him sitting in bed. A part of me wants to be in there with him, curled up at his side. I slowly approach and knock on the door. He answers after a few moments and stares at me with those dark piercing eyes. His hair falls across his forehead, and I resist the urge to brush it back. Raptor sticks his head out and pokes me in the leg with his beak. Gosh, I’ve missed him.
“Can I help you?” Benny asks. His voice is pained. I pull my eyes back up to his.
“Can I come in?”
I should ask for his blood on the porch and get away from here, but the contracts are in the boat. I’ll just finish the spell here, which means spending more time with Benny though, and that’s dangerous because my feelings toward him are so twisted.
“Of course.”
I slide past him as he stands back, smelling like whiskey and old cigars. That smell always meant love to me. Until it meant death.
I sit at the table, and he sits across from me, his eyes never leaving my face.
“I miss you,” he finally says.
“I need your blood.” Might as well get to the point. I can’t afford to be distracted by his flowery words.
He moves his hands under the table. Apparently, this isn’t the only time he’s been asked for that because most people take blood from the finger or the palm.
“What for?” He asks the question casually, but the muscles in his jaw twitch.
“A spell to free the islanders. I have to save them before I destroy the island.”
“Blood is the most powerfully binding substance on Earth. Callie, there are a lot of things I’d freely give you, but my blood is not one of them.” He purses his lips and stares off into the distance.
This isn’t going as planned at all. He doesn’t understand how important this is. His is the only blood I can use. “I need to void the contracts, or I won’t be able to save the islanders. The spell requires the blood of a lover, and last I checked, you were the only lover I had on the island.”
“Not true. Samuel was quite enamored with you.”
I clench my fists. “That does not make him a lover. Plus, he’s dead. Come on, Benny, please? I just need a few drops.” If Samuel was still alive, I might have gone to him instead. We had kissed several times. He would’ve been easier to face than Benny.
“Explain the spell to me.” He taps his fingers on the table and cocks his head.
“I need your blood, family blood, and enemy blood. I’ll mix them together, set them on fire, and feed the contracts to it.”
He sits back and crosses his arms. “That makes sense. But how do I know you’re being honest with me?”
“Have I ever lied to you?” My throat feels like it’s closing up. I didn’t think Benny would be this difficult.
“Pretty sure you have.”
“You’re the one who killed me to get your own body back,” I snap.
He flinches. “I’m sorry. I told you I had zero control over my actions, but you refuse to believe that. How do I know you aren’t really using my blood to enact some kind of revenge?”
Tears prick my eyes. “Benny, you know me. I’ve spent the entirety of my time on the island trying to protect those I love. What makes you think I’ve changed?”
I try not to let the tears escape, but a few do anyway. I wish things were different between us. Benny’s face softens. “I’m just upset because I miss you. Of course I’ll give you my blood.”
He whips out the knife he used to kill me and slices open his palm. “Where do you need it?”
I put the chalice under his palm, and he stares at me as his blood drips into it.
“Callie, I still love you.” His voice cracks, and I worry that he might cry, but his eyes are clear when they meet mine.
I take his bloody hand into mine. It’s warm under my skin. I heal it but don’t let go for a moment. “I know,” is all I reply and drop his hand. I can’t say anything else. I don’t know how I feel about Benny anymore.
He killed me, and yet I still want to be with him.
I keep my eyes down and move the chalice away. I look outside. The sky will lighten soon.
“Benny, I won’t have time to tell the islanders they can leave. Will you?”
“I’ll do anything you ask.”
“That’s all I need.” I ignore the feeling in my heart that wants to ask for a hug. Benny used to be my safe place, and now he’s not.
Not only that, after this, he gets to leave.
I set the blood in the chalice on fire and pick up the first contract. It lights up and disappears quickly. One by one, I feed the papers into the flames, and one by one, they disappear.
The islanders are free. I can’t believe it. They can leave and forget all about this fors
aken place.
As soon as I finish the last contract, the flames in the chalice go out.
“Please, tell the islanders to leave. They probably can’t until the new moon because no one has ever successfully left the island between the moons, but they can be ready and on the ferry with Elias at the new moon. You can go too.”
He meets my eyes. “Why would I go when the only thing I want is here?”
My stomach burns at his words, and I look down at my hands. I want him to leave. “You have to stop saying things like that.”
“Why? You haven’t so much as said two words to me since you died. I’ve been wanting to tell you these things since then. Callie, I love you. If I could’ve stopped myself from killing you, I would’ve. Or maybe I wouldn’t have.” His words trail off, and they make no sense. I jerk my head up and look at him, but he’s staring out the window.
“I thought you were trying to reassure me you were a good guy. What’s that supposed to mean? You would’ve killed me even if you had full control over your actions? That’s not comforting, and it certainly won’t make me forgive you. You like your life now, don’t you? Of course you would’ve traded mine for yours.”
He clenches his fists and stares down into his lap. “Listen for a moment, will you? Those days before you died, you had one goal. What was it?”
“To bring Maddie back.” That was never a question.
“Exactly.” He leans forward so he’s only inches away from me, and I have to force myself not to back away and give him the satisfaction of getting to me. “And what if the only way to bring her back was to end your life?”
I recoil. If the choice was between my own life and hers, I’d give her hers all the way.
Ultimately, Benny took my life, either by his choice or by being forced to by Lorena, but the result is the same. Because he did, Maddie got her life back. For that, I should be grateful.
But how sick is it to be in love with your own murderer?
I’m probably not the first. But still. Even if I give him another chance, that will always come between us.
He reaches out and touches my hand, and I don’t pull away.
Benny’s eyes meet mine, and I wonder what I’ve just done.
A light creeps into the window, and suddenly, I’m no longer there, at least not that Benny can see.
“I love you,” he says.
I don’t say it back.
Chapter Nine
I decide to follow Benny around the island the next day as he tells the islanders the good news. He starts with Elias, which makes sense because he’s right next door, but I would’ve left Elias until last—because he’s well, he’s Elias. Benny’s always been just a hair more prudent than me though.
Elias answers the door looking as creepy as he always does. Did he really think he would get a kiss out of me? As if. I look around Elias’s porch at all the junk. He’s been here a long time if his boat has anything to say about it.
“Callie’s spell worked, and your contract is void. You can leave the island if you want.”
I can’t help but draw my eyes back to the two men. I hate that Benny affects me that way.
Elias bites off a chunk of beef jerky. “Can I come back?”
“I think so. My guess is you can’t leave until the new moon because the magic on the island still works. We’re going to ask you to ferry the people who want to leave on that day.”
Elias gives a nod. “I’ll think about it. Thanks for the heads up.”
Think about it? Why on earth would he want to stay here? That makes zero sense.
Benny goes around to a few others. All are a little skeptical, but Benny is good about reassuring them. You’d think they’d be more grateful. Though, I can see where they might not believe it until they step foot on the mainland. Especially after all they’ve been through.
Halfway around the island, he hits Amy’s boat, and I wonder how she’ll take it. She answers the door with a smile. “We don’t see you around here very often.”
Because he’s a backstabbing murderous prick. Or at least that’s what I told Amy. I’m not sure if I believe it anymore.
He nods. “Can I come in?”
She pulls the door farther open. “Sure.” She’s as warm to him as anyone else. Maybe she doesn’t believe me.
Benny sits down at her table and taps his fingers on the old wood. These boats all seem like they are on the brink of falling apart. It must’ve been years since the island had seen a new one. Even Samuel’s and Lorena’s boats are old.
“What’s up?” Amy asks. She sits on the couch and starts folding a pile of towels.
“Callie’s freed all the islanders.” He says it, sitting up tall like he’s all proud of me. He doesn’t deserve to be proud of me.
She freezes. “What do you mean?”
“She cast a spell that canceled out all the contracts. When Elias goes to get the circus goers on the new moon, he’s taking with him anyone who wants to leave.”
Amy’s face goes from shock to relief to anger, all in a matter of a few seconds. “Every time Callie does something, someone gets hurt or killed.”
Benny lets out a breath. “She’s trying to do the right thing. She knows how miserable people are here, and she found a way to void all the contracts. You are free to leave the island.”
Amy gets up and paces. “My husband and daughter are ghosts. I don’t want to leave.”
“Fair enough. But you can now. That’s all I’m saying.” Benny stands.
Amy puts her hand on his chest, her face ashen. “Wait.” Her voice has risen up a notch.
“What?” Benny asks.
She grips his arm. “She did away with the contracts?”
The baby in the cradle next to the couch whimpers.
“Yes. That’s why you can leave.”
Amy’s face goes beet red. “And how exactly am I supposed to protect myself and my family from the ghosts when the sun comes up on the new moon?”
My throat clogs up. Amy’s right about me. Again. I keep screwing with her family even when I’m trying to help her.
Benny rubs his hand over the back of his neck. He didn’t think of that either. “I don’t know.”
Amy stomps her feet. “Our lives here were fine before Callie showed up. Now she made things worse again. When you see her, you tell her she’s not welcome in my home.” She grabs Benny’s shoulders and shoves him toward the door. “And tell her to stop messing with our lives.”
My stomach tightens. In my excitement, I forgot that some would want to stay. I’m such an idiot. I should’ve asked who wanted to leave and who wanted to stay before I set the contracts on fire.
Why didn’t I think this through? Now, I’ve just made Amy choose between seeing her husband and oldest daughter or the safety of her younger kids.
I don’t wait for Benny to leave the boat. I can’t watch this anymore. I don’t want to watch Amy contemplate what could be the worst decision she’ll ever have to make in her life. I’ve ruined everything.
I fly through the island and land in front of Reken again.
“You’re upset,” he says.
“I made a mistake.” Another big mistake. Why can’t I sit down and think about things before doing them? If I talked this over with others, with Amy, she would’ve told me how stupid this was.
The skull chuckles. “You’ve made a lot of those, but so does everyone else. What mistake is this one specifically?”
I pace in front of him, clenching and unclenching my fists. My heart is in my throat, and all I want to do is scream. The trees suddenly seem much more confining than normal. “I freed all the islanders.”
The skull bobs up and down for a moment. “I thought that’s what you wanted to do.”
I throw my hands up in the air, panic rising in my chest. How could he not see the problem? “I did, but instead of fixing things, it’s made them worse.”
“How?”
“How? How? Isn’t it obvious? Not everyone
wants to leave.”
The skull nods. “That makes sense. People like familiarity.”
He doesn’t get it. I grip my hair. “I voided the contracts. Now anyone left on the island is in danger when the ghosts go to kill people on the new moon.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “I see.”
I stalk up to him so I’m only inches from his glowing jaw. “How do I fix this?”
“Another spell?” He suggests, backing away from me.
I groan. “I had a hard enough time figuring this one out. Now you’re telling me I have to find another one.” This isn’t something ancestral magic will fix. It has to be voodoo.
He hovers over me. “This one seems easy enough, actually.”
“Oh really, tell me, oh wise one. How do I fix this?”
“Seems to me you need a spell to keep the ghosts away from those who need protecting.”
“That sounds complicated.” I’ll have to read those books over again. For the hundredth time.
“It’s basic voodoo to protect against unwanted spirits, and ghosts are essentially spirits.”
Basic? I’ve never heard that before. It seems like all voodoo is complicated. I’ve never had an easy time finding a spell before. Though maybe my problem is making things too complicated.
“I’ve never cast a spell to keep out unwanted spirits.”
He sighs and settles down in the swamp. “Find a book. It’s in all of them. You’ve probably never looked before.” He has no idea. I have. But I haven’t looked for a spell like that.
“But how do I protect everyone?”
If skulls could roll their eyes, I swear he did. “You cast the spell on a building, boat, or tent and then make sure all those who need protecting are in it. No ghosts can get in.”
I stand there dumbfounded. It’s so simple, but I have to have a magical skull to tell me how to work my own magic. This is so ridiculous. I don’t deserve to be a witch.
“Thank you,” I say, now itching to go find those books.
He bobs up and down. “No problem. Do you trust me yet?”
“No.” I doubt I’ll ever trust him even if he does continue to help me. Lorena helped me all the time until she decided to kill me.
Circus of the Dead: Book 4 Page 7