Most of her performances over the past five years had been to Colt’s piano playing, or an orchestra playing for her dance company. The last time she’d competed to a recorded song, she’d choked miserably. She swore it was a curse. Colt argued that he had spoiled her. Either way, she refused to perform to anything other than live music anymore. Practice was okay, but the energy of live music transformed a dance to something great.
Closing her eyes, Courtney played the song in her head, rocking to the rhythm. Almost immediately, a vision took shape in her mind’s eye. It was a beautiful song and deserved an exquisite dance. Ever so slowly, the corners of her mouth turned up, and a smile inched across her face.
Colt pumped a fist in the air. “I knew you’d love it.”
Chapter Eleven
The next day at lunch, Riya took apart her BLT, tossing everything but the bacon to the far side of her tray. Her appetite was nonexistent, but she never turned away bacon. Riya had been quieter than usual at lunch, poking at tomato seeds with her pinkie finger. She obsessed over the way Courtney turned hot and cold, wondering how she could be so convincing as she pretended to dislike Riya. When others were around, her disdain was so believable, Riya had a hard time convincing herself what had happened on the dock and yesterday while Tiffany’d been in the bathroom was real. For the thousandth time, she puzzled over which version of Courtney was the act.
Riya felt the separation like a knife twisting in her stomach. On their walk that morning, they’d talked, but they hadn’t touched. Courtney’d grown so paranoid of anyone seeing them together that Riya felt like they’d spent less time together than before they’d kissed.
Unlike Courtney, Riya wore her emotions like a manifestation. She couldn’t hide them. The harder she tried, the more obvious they were.
Her friends, understandably, had assumed she was upset about Courtney’s prank. Which, when she thought about it, only sent Riya further into despondency. She wished she could tell her friends what was going on with her. She wanted their advice, their understanding, and—she could admit it—their sympathy.
Riya, Dee, and Tiffany ducked out of lunch half an hour early. It was time, Tiffany had declared, for payback.
“I have a special treat I prepared especially for Courtney,” Dee had said, tenting her fingers in a mockery of villainy. “It would be an honor to prank her on your behalf.”
Knowing Courtney expected her to keep up the prank war, but lacking the motivation, Riya was happy to let her friends take over. She cared so little, she didn’t even ask Dee what the prank was. Back at their cabin, Dee pulled from her bag a skewer and a tube of the gel that numbed your mouth when your tooth ached.
“Where’s her bathroom kit?” Dee asked, waggling the tube in her hand.
Riya showed her the sturdy canvas bag on top of Courtney’s dresser, and Dee poked around the bag before pulling out Courtney’s toothpaste. Extreme whitening. Wintergreen flavor. Riya looked between the two tubes, realizing what Dee had planned. She had to admit, it was clever.
Dee flipped open the top and scooped out some of the toothpaste with the skewer. Tiffany snickered when Dee handed her the toothpaste-coated skewer. Dee squeezed the smaller tube of the numbing gel into the space she’d vacated and flipped the top shut with a satisfied smirk.
“I can’t wait until tonight,” Tiffany said as she helped Dee return the toothpaste to its original location.
Dee held up one hand to each of her friends. Tiffany slapped it with gusto. Riya acquiesced, smacking her palm against Dee’s.
Volleyball for the older campers was every other day. Alternating days hosted baseball, which was what they’d played yesterday. Catching had never been one of Riya’s skills. She told Dee it wasn’t her fault she’d trained in two sports where catching the ball was literally punished with running laps. Throwing was easy; it was fundamentally the same as a serve. But she didn’t even want to start thinking about batting.
At one point yesterday, Dee was laughing so hard she had to call a timeout.
“It’s not that funny,” Riya had said, growing increasingly self-conscious.
“I’m sorry,” Dee choked out in between fits of laughter. “It’s just, you’re so good at volleyball, I thought you’d have some kind of natural talent.”
Riya shook her head. “I wasn’t good at volley when I started, either. I have zero natural athletic ability. I’m just stubborn and practice obsessively.”
Luckily, it started raining, and they had to quit playing half an hour early. It had been cloudy and raining off and on for two days now.
She was looking forward to a sport she could play better than a toddler. At that point, she’d take soccer or even basketball. Anything. But today was a volleyball day and that gave her something to be happy about. Or so she thought until she strolled up to the court to find Colt, Derek, David, and Bridget already there. No Courtney. Bridget had claimed the spot Elise had sat in the other day with a pink and red striped towel, but the tall blonde was nowhere to be seen. Elise, the twins, and Dee arrived a minute after Riya.
Riya spent the entire warm-up time debating whether to ask Colt where Courtney was. She practiced it in her head, attempting to sound nonchalant, as though she didn’t care about the answer. But she did. And she cared about the answer to the question she couldn’t ask: Why is she avoiding me?
When Colt called her name, her heart leapt into her throat. She panicked, worried she’d voiced her thoughts aloud. His bare feet flopped through the sand toward her.
“Hey,” he said, smiling. “Why haven’t you been coming to singing?”
“Oh.” The panic abandoned her, leaving her feeling empty. She hadn’t yet told Colt her decision. “I appreciate you offering to play for me, but I don’t think I’m going to do the talent show.” After the one class, where she’d nearly had a heart attack trying to sing in front of a couple of campers, she knew there was no way she’d be able to sing in front of the entire camp. Just thinking about it now made her skin itch.
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his swimming trunks and considered her. “Okay, I get it.”
Riya relaxed. Of course Colt would understand. He always understood. More than he let on, she thought. Then, he said the only thing that could possibly change her mind.
“Courtney will be disappointed.”
Riya’s mind went blank. “What? She will? Did she say something?”
Colt laughed. “Yeah, that you didn’t have a chance against her and you should just quit before she embarrasses you.”
Riya’s mouth dropped open, but before she could agonize over exactly what that meant, he clarified.
“Which means she’s worried about you beating her.”
Riya, beating Courtney in a talent competition? The idea was so absurd, a laugh burst from Riya’s lips. “So wouldn’t she be happy about me dropping out?”
He shook his head. “Court’s a competitor, through and through. Knowing someone else might beat her, especially now, will make her better.”
Riya got that. Her team always played better against a great team than one they knew they could easily beat. “What do you mean, especially now?”
Colt told her about the Riverdrake scholarship and David’s dad.
“That’s good,” Riya said because it was what she was supposed to say, but her words fell flat. Courtney, of all people, did not need a scholarship. It didn’t make any sense.
Colt raised his eyebrow and waited.
“Why does she care about a scholarship?” Riya asked.
He cocked his head, creasing his brow. “She didn’t tell you?”
Riya shook her head.
Becky blew the whistle for the game to begin. They played three games before Colt and Riya could speak again. Tiffany and Stefanie always played on opposite teams, but they switched up the teams every round. The twins were too dominant to play on the same team no matter who played against them.
The longer she thought about the scholarship, the less
sense it made. Courtney wasn’t the type of person to accept a scholarship just because she could, taking away an opportunity from someone else. Or, at least, she hadn’t been four years ago.
During a water break, Riya asked Colt the question again.
Colt seemed uncomfortable. “I probably shouldn’t say.”
“Oh. Okay,” Riya said, her mind spinning with possibilities. Was their family having money problems?
When they returned to the court, she threw herself into the game. Afterward, she was chugging what was left in her water bottle when Colt approached her again.
“So what are you thinking about singing?” he asked. “For the talent show?”
Riya sighed. “I told you, I don’t want to do it.”
Colt’s eyes scrunched. “Oh. I thought you’d want to help Courtney.”
“Help her?” She’d do anything to help Courtney, but she didn’t see how this qualified.
“By giving her someone to compete against,” he clarified.
“So she can maybe get a scholarship she doesn’t need?” She shook her head. “You know how nervous I get singing in front of other people.”
Colt forced a slow breath out between his lips, puffing out his cheeks. “Our parents don’t want her to study dance,” he blurted. “She has a shot at Juilliard but they told her they won’t pay for it.”
“Whoa.” Juilliard. That was huge. Even artless Riya knew that. But why hadn’t Courtney told her any of this? Life-changing things were happening and Courtney hadn’t mentioned any of it.
“She’s spent every minute she can dancing. She’s done nothing but obsess since she found out about it yesterday.”
Yesterday. Riya guessed that’s why she hadn’t seen much of Courtney in the past day.
“Every minute, huh?” Riya eyed the arts and crafts hut on the other side of the tennis courts. “Hey, I gotta go.”
She waved at Colt as she took off.
“Don’t tell her I told you, okay?” Colt called after her.
She tossed him a thumbs up over her shoulder.
…
Courtney opened the door of the arts hut with her left hand, pulling up the Adele song on her phone with her right. She had a solid thirty minutes before dinner. The door fell shut behind her with a crack of wood on wood. She dropped her water bottle on the first table inside the door.
“Hey, Court.”
Courtney started and almost dropped her phone. Riya stood no more than four feet away from her. She wore a bright yellow sporty two-piece swimsuit, sturdy enough to survive volleyball but still sexy as any bikini. Courtney felt a deep, sudden affection for the warm weather that allowed Riya to walk around in that outfit. Sun flooded the room, highlighting her caramel skin and setting her dark hair shimmering.
Courtney’d been so focused on choreographing her dance, she hadn’t seen Riya except at meals and bedtime. Truth be told, Courtney had been avoiding her at activities and meals. Pretending she didn’t care for her was so much harder than she’d thought. She’d catch Riya’s gaze across a room, and it’d be all she could do not to run to her. When boys flirted with her, Courtney wanted to put her arm around Riya, claiming her in front of everyone. Mine.
Riya smiled. Wisps of hair framed her face, and they swayed as she moved. Lord, she was so exceptionally beautiful.
“I don’t want to interrupt.” Riya watched her through thick black lashes. “But I wanted to see you.”
Slowly, oh so slowly, Riya stepped closer. She reached up and pushed a stray strand of hair behind Courtney’s ear, her fingertips trailing along Courtney’s cheek. Her touch left a trail of fire on Courtney’s skin. Courtney raised her arm to take Riya’s hand in her own.
They crashed into each other. A full day and night’s worth of pent-up emotion washed over her. She kissed Riya like a drowning man gulped air, backing her up until Riya’s shoulders were against the wood plank wall.
Courtney pressed her palms into Riya’s stomach, spreading her fingers over the skin. She marveled at the combination of strength and softness there.
Riya tore her mouth away to trail kisses from Courtney’s jawbone down her neck. Every press of her lips against Courtney’s skin sent pulses of pleasure through Courtney’s entire body. How had she survived an entire day without this? How had she survived seventeen years without this?
Not trusting her legs to support her much longer, Courtney sat in one of the plastic chairs, pulling Riya down to sit on her lap. Riya placed both hands on the sides of Courtney’s face. She smelled of sunscreen and sweat with traces of baby powder.
“I’ve missed you,” Riya breathed.
“I’m sorry,” Courtney said, punctuating her statement with a kiss to the spot just below Riya’s ear. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Really?” Riya’s voice cracked.
“So, so much.” How could she doubt it? Every second Courtney wasn’t dancing she spent thinking about Riya. She daydreamed scenarios about them getting lost in the woods together and finding a hidden cave, about kissing her until Riya’s mouth was red and Courtney couldn’t feel her lips anymore.
A smile flickered across Riya’s lips before she pressed them again to Courtney’s.
Behind her, the door smacked shut. Riya froze, her head jerking up to face the sound. Courtney’s heart stopped.
“Oh,” Colt said. “Sorry Riy— Courtney?”
Riya scrambled to her feet, and Courtney spun to face her brother, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs. All three of them stood in stunned silence for several seconds.
A grin shattered Colt’s shocked expression. He laughed, clapping his hands with glee.
“You’re not upset?” Courtney asked.
His eyes volleyed back and forth between the two girls. “Well, honestly, I am.”
Courtney stiffened.
“I’m a little mad you didn’t tell me about this, but I’m so happy for you that I’m going to let it slide.”
Courtney watched her brother closely as he gave Riya a tiny fist-pump. Riya laughed and dropped her gaze to her feet.
Her brother was…really happy. For her. After catching her making out with a girl. Of course, he’d always said he’d support her no matter what, but for him to actually see it and react this way… Apparently, Courtney had never given her brother enough credit.
Riya stepped closer to her, slipping her hand into Courtney’s. Courtney turned to look at her, and Riya gave her hand a squeeze.
“You okay?” Riya whispered.
Courtney nodded. She felt relieved. Courtney’d never hidden anything from her brother. He was her best friend, always her ally. Now he knew her closest-held secret, her truth. And he accepted it all. So easily.
Colt grew awkward, glancing at the door. “Um, should I go or…?”
“No,” Riya said. “It’s okay.”
Courtney nodded in agreement. He’d already killed the mood, anyway. And touching Riya in front of someone else sent a special kind of thrill through her. Someone else knowing made it feel more real, less like a recurring dream.
“Good,” Colt said, pulling up a chair. “Because I have questions.”
“Oh Lord,” Courtney said.
“How long?” Colt asked.
“Four years,” Riya said at the exact same time Courtney said, “Two days.”
They looked at each other. Pink swept across Riya’s cheeks and she shrugged. Riya had been sure for so long, and she’d waited all that time for Courtney to realize it.
“How come no one told me?”
Courtney didn’t have an answer for that. It seemed unfair to say she thought her brother might disapprove, but she’d been scared.
“We’re not telling anyone,” Riya said, sliding her gaze sideways, checking for Courtney’s confirmation.
Colt watched Riya closely. “Why not?”
Riya did not waver. “Courtney’s not ready to come out yet and I respect that.”
A surge of affection filled Courtney’s ch
est. She lifted Riya’s hand to her lips and planted a soft kiss on her knuckles.
Colt nodded, but his mouth twisted. Courtney knew that look. She checked the clock on the wall.
“You should head over and get changed before dinner,” Courtney told Riya, motioning to the bathing suit she still wore. “Colt and I will follow in a couple of minutes.”
Sorrow twisted Riya’s features. Courtney squeezed her hand and kissed Riya’s temple. It was a promise, one she knew Riya would understand.
On her way out the door, Colt offered her his fist. Laughing and shaking her head, she raised her own and mashed their knuckles together.
Seconds after the door clanked shut, Colt stared intensely into Courtney’s eyes.
“What?” she challenged.
“You know what,” he said.
“I thought you were happy for me?” She stood stock still, returning his stare.
Colt, as always, ignored her attempt to derail. “Don’t hurt her.”
“I don’t want to,” Courtney said, but preemptory guilt twisted painfully in her stomach. In a couple of weeks, they’d all have to go home. There was no way she and Riya could have a happy ending. But there was no reason why they couldn’t have a happy summer. That would have to be enough. A few perfect weeks by the lake would have to carry her through whatever else waited in her future.
Before she knew it, the taste of salt filled her mouth and her vision blurred. Colt was up and hugging her before she even realized she was crying.
“What am I going to do?” She choked on her words.
Colt hushed and rocked her until her sobs subsided. Then he pulled back, examining her face. “You really want my advice?”
She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Even though I wish you felt differently, I get if you don’t want everyone to know you’re in a relationship with Riya.”
Courtney began to speak, but he held up a finger. “But pretending like you still hate each other is torturing you both. She’s mopey. You’re more of a bitch than usual. It’s not good for anyone.”
Courtney chewed her lip as she considered. “You want us to be friends.”
Keeping Her Secret Page 13