Once I looked over, I saw why. Richard Bloom, Tao’s ex, and the biggest dick I’d ever met, had just strolled in. And that wasn't “biggest dick” in any sort of positive way. I'd been tempted more than once to kick him in the nuts until he cried like a little girl.
He caught sight of us and gave a stiff smile, taking the table farthest away and indicating to the waitress that he needed two cups of coffee.
I once more felt that familiar kick-in-the-nuts urge.
“We can go if you want,” I said.
“No. He’ll be convinced I’m leaving because of him. I’m over it…mostly.” Tao smiled at me, a real smile. “The worst thing was not seeing what he was doing – feeling like a fool.”
“Nobody likes to feel like a fool.” I reached over and caught his hand, linking our fingers. “I hear love tends to do that to us – make us all into fools. Makes me wonder why in the hell anybody would wanna mess with it.”
“Because when it’s good, it’s worth it.”
We hung around another ten minutes, deliberately taking our time with our coffee, and I made sure to hook my arm through his, leaning against him as we sauntered to the door. Rick the Dick had never liked me, and when he found out that Tao and I sometimes shared a bed when we weren't otherwise involved…well, it hadn’t made him like me any more. He was one of those men who thought there was only straight and gay, and he hadn't liked it when Tao insisted he really did like both. I waggled my fingers at him and chirped out a greeting as we passed by his table.
“You’re such a mean little bitch,” Tao said, grinning at me as we passed through the door.
I smiled back. “I know.”
I didn't need some false sort of romantic nonsense or fantasies about someone I could never have. I had my family. I had Tao. I didn't need anything or anyone else.
10
Allie
The park near the river was one of TJ’s favorite places, which was why we were there. If I had my way, we’d be at the pub, digging into some fish and chips while Tao and I had some beer and listened to music. TJ liked it there too. Since they often had live music, TJ could feel the bass and the drums, and sometimes he'd ask me and Tao to try to describe the music.
Tyson didn’t like us going there, though. He said it made TJ self-conscious. I thought he was wrong, but I was the sister, not the parent. Once a month, we did a family thing, and everybody took a turn picking where we’d go, and this was TJ’s month. Next month was Mom’s, then mine. I’d be shot down if I suggested the pub even then, so I needed to come up with an alternative.
“You look glum, sweetie.” Tao nudged my shoulder just as a ball came flying our way.
We both ducked and covered our heads. When we raised them, TJ was running up, laughing and pointing at us. I stuck my tongue out at him while Tao signed that maybe he couldn’t catch a ball, but he could pick TJ up and duck him in the river. Tao's grandmother was deaf so even before he'd moved in with us, he'd known more about sign language and deaf culture than most hearing people. I knew that was one of the reasons my parents had accepted him. Now, he was almost as fluent as I was.
“You don’t scare me,” TJ signed.
Tao scowled and started to get up. I laughingly hauled him back down as TJ whooped and took off, running back to Tyson. Tao trying to be angry or scary never failed to make me laugh.
“Want a refill?” I picked up our cups and shoved to my feet.
“You going to brave the match-making attempts?” He gave me a teasing leer.
Mom had already been at it, telling me, then him, that we really should stop trying to pretend we were just friends. Tao had playfully told her he was waiting for her to wise up and leave Tyson. I’d been more blunt, telling her I was just using Tao for sex. She thought I was joking, but after a lifetime of getting comments that became less subtle with every turn, I was fed up with trying to explain us.
“I’ll just tell her you met the love of your life,” I quipped. “You’re meeting him tomorrow to start making wedding plans.”
“Don’t.” Tao looked at me, eyes going wide as he tried to figure out if I was serious. If Mom pushed me hard enough, I might do it, just to get some peace. I’d done crazier things.
“Hey, for all you know, he could be the love of your life.” Ruffling Tao's hair, I turned away and walked off while he shouted threats after me.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m shaking in my shoes.” I was laughing when I came to a stop by the picnic table where my mom was sitting, watching Tyson and TJ throwing around a football. She caught sight of my smile and arched a brow.
“You look happy.”
“I’m amused,” I signed as I spoke so she could read my hands and lips. “With that idiot, Tao.”
Her gaze slid to him, and I saw the speculation there, could see the thoughts forming.
I frowned. “Don’t start, Mom. Not again.”
“I just want you happy…both of you. You’re so good together.”
“Because we’re friends.” Anger tried to rise, but I pushed it down. “Can’t we go one day without you trying to force this? He and I are never going to fall in love.”
I didn't even want to try to explain how I wasn't looking for love anyway. That would lead to me having to tell her why, and that wasn't a discussion I wanted to have. We avoided all mention of my biological father unless absolutely necessary.
Looking away from her was petty, but I didn’t want to get into this debate again. I took the bottle of pop from the table and refilled my drink, then Tao’s. I looked up as he sat down next to where I was standing, and prepared myself for a volley of comments meant for both of us.
To my surprise, he looked over at her without looking at me. “Did Allie tell you I’m meeting a new guy tomorrow? I’m kind of nervous about it. I like him a lot. That usually means things will go straight to hell.”
Mom looked from me to him, not saying anything for a moment. When she finally responded, it wasn’t with words. She reached over and covered his hands with hers and squeezed. No matter how frustrated I could get with her for trying to push Tao and me together, for the usual mother-daughter issues, I knew I was loved, and that she loved Tao too. That made everything else seem insignificant.
A moment later, TJ collided into me, his arms going around my waist in a tight hug. “Can you and Tao go around the park with me? Dad’s too tired.”
“Sure.” I smiled at him and glanced over at Tao. Up for a walk?
* * *
“She’ll get the point, sweetie.” Tao and I watched as TJ bent over the railing, staring down in the churning waters of the river. “Sooner or later.”
“You think?” With a dry laugh, I shook my head. “I’m starting to doubt it. She’s been at this since we were teens. And she’s getting worse.”
“It’s because she wants to see her baby settled down and happy, producing cute little babies that she could cuddle and spoil.” He wrapped his arm around me and hugged me. “That’s all. And you know we'd make adorable babies.”
“I know she wants what she thinks is best for me.” I crossed my arms over my chest as a sharp wind came blowing off the river, threatening to cut right through me. I snuggled back closer to Tao. He was always warm. “I bet if TJ was my age, she wouldn’t nag him like this.”
“Daughters are different, I think.”
With a glum sigh, I said, “Maybe. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. She still pops her head into my room when I'm getting ready to go out, you know that?”
A bright laugh bounced out of him.
“So glad to know I amuse you.” I tried to free myself from his embrace.
He tightened his arms around me and kissed the top of my head before releasing me. I stomped away, unable to figure out why my mood was so dark.
“It could be worse, Allie,” he said as he followed me.
“Yeah? I guess. She could try to put me on curfew.”
“No.” His voice was serious enough that I stopped and looked at him. “She
could be like my parents. Just write you out of her life because you didn’t fit the image she had in her head.”
“Well, damn.” I sighed as I hooked my arm through his and tugged him along with me. “You have to go and make me look and feel like a bitch.”
“You’re not a bitch. Well, you are, but you’re my kind of bitch.” He kissed the top of my head again before disengaging our arms. We moved to bracket TJ as he continued to lean over the railing and stare down at the ducks that had come over to beg for food. “You’re just feeling stifled. You’ve got a right to it. I know you want to stay and help out, but at some point, you need to look at moving out on your own. They’ll do okay on their own, you know.”
“It’s not that I don’t think they can do okay without me. I just feel like…”
I paused to answer TJ's question. “Sure, you can feed the ducks.”
I pushed a dollar’s worth of coins into his hand and listened as he fed them into the machine behind us. I continued my conversation with Tao. “I know they can do fine without me, but it’s not like I’d be leaving to go off and actually do something. It'd be different if it was school or moving in with a boyfriend. Explaining to my mother that I just want to go…it makes me sound like an ungrateful brat. She sacrificed so much for me.”
“She didn’t sacrifice anything, Allie. She loves you. That’s what moms are supposed to do. She wants you happy. I think if you told her you wanted to find your own place, she’d surprise you.”
TJ joined us again, duck feed spilling out between his fingers. He’d fed all the quarters into the machine, and instead of taking his time, he wound up like a world-class batter and let it all go flying. As it went everywhere – including in my hair – his laugh bubbled out, and I grinned.
“Yeah, maybe. But really, Tao. Why would I give this up?”
11
Jal
The town car came to a stop, and I told the driver I’d get Paisley. He nodded and waited by the car to open the door for us when we returned.
The steps to the grand, elegant stone building seemed a little longer, a little steeper than normal. I had more dread inside me than I’d expected – actually, I hadn’t expected to have any dread. My parents expected this of me, and I'd resigned myself to the fact years ago that I'd eventually marry someone like the woman on the other side of this door.
The Hedges were wealthy, moved in the right social circles. They had a home in one of the most prestigious sections of Philadelphia as well as a place in the Hamptons. This house in New York had been a more recent purchase, and Paisley's parents had hinted more than once that they planned to make it a wedding present. They were friends of the family so there wouldn't be any animosity between the in-laws.
It was a good match.
We suited.
Suited.
Allie’s words echoed in the back of my mind as the door was answered, and I was ushered inside. The butler led me to a sitting room, and again, I waited.
It was pretty much a rule with Paisley. She liked to keep people waiting because that was the best way to make an impressive entrance. And Paisley definitely liked to be impressive.
“Jal, my boy. Good to see you.” Kendrick Hedges was younger than my father, his sandy hair still free of gray. He poured me a drink without asking what I wanted.
While I sipped the scotch, Kendrick droned on about how wonderful it was to see me again, and how much he’d enjoyed getting to know me over the past few years.
It was a bunch of bullshit.
Kendrick had known me since I was a kid, and he hadn’t exactly spent any time getting to know me over the past few years. He always had his head locked up in his business. I saw his wife more than I saw him. Not that I liked her much better. They were typical of the people who were friends with my parents. They chatted at charity events, occasionally had fancy dinners out together. Before Paisley and I started dating, our families had never been to each other's homes. Since then, we'd only had family get-togethers twice. I doubted much of that would change, even after the wedding.
“Ah, there’s my girl,” Kendrick said, his light green eyes lighting up.
Rising, I turned.
Paisley stood framed in the doorway, a faint smile on her mouth. Her light gray eyes met mine. She didn't look much like her father at all. With her short mahogany hair and delicate features, she resembled her mother the most. Only Paisley's height came from Kendrick.
“Hello, Paisley.”
She came toward me then, that smile widening ever so slightly. “Jal, darling.”
She turned her head for me to kiss her cheek – no kissing the mouth until later. Couldn’t mess up the makeup before the important date. Her skin was cool under my lips as I grazed it for a moment.
When I lifted my head, I murmured softly, “You look lovely, Paisley.”
“Thank you.” She edged around me to go to her father while I turned to the next person who'd come into the sitting room.
“Hello, Diamond,” I said politely. Russet-colored curls, ash gray eyes, Diamond's coloring clearly marked her as Paisley's mother. Despite the fact that Diamond was barely over five feet tall, she always carried herself like she was the biggest person in the room.
“Jal. Wonderful to see you. I take it your business dealings have been successful?” She held out her hand, and I accepted, squeezing it lightly before letting it go. One didn’t shake Diamond Hedge’s hand.
She patted my cheek before moving to join Kendrick on the couch, smiling at her daughter with what looked like complete satisfaction. Paisley slid me a look, and I had the uncomfortable feeling of being sized up by some sort of predator. A mother-daughter pair intent on eating me alive.
I was starting to regret having watched that nature documentary the night before.
Although we still had time yet to get to the restaurant, I put my scotch down and held a hand out to Paisley. “Are you ready?”
“Somebody is eager,” Diamond murmured to Kendrick as Paisley came to me.
Eager?
I wasn’t sure if that was the word. I just wanted to get this done so I could move on with my life.
* * *
It looked like something out of one of those tear-jerker romances that Paisley always made me watch. The ones where the couple always had huge obstacles to get over, usually when they learned something important about themselves, but no matter how much they grew, they generally lost each other in the end.
Music played softly in the background. Across from me, light danced on Paisley's delicate ivory skin. She sipped from a glass of sparkling water while I enjoyed two fingers of forty-year scotch.
No expenses spared tonight. She'd be telling this story over and over, and I knew I needed to make it a good one.
“What have you been up to this week?”
Paisley smiled at me over the rim of her glass. “Well. I went shopping with your mother last weekend. This dreadful cold kept it from being as much fun as I’d have liked, but I picked up some of the cutest shoes, so it wasn't a total loss.”
Shoes. I offered a smile because something was expected in response, but I found myself thinking of the sly smile Allie had given me when I’d asked her what she liked to do for fun.
It hadn’t included shopping for shoes.
The servers had already cleared dinner and dessert. Paisley had taken exactly two bites of her insanely expensive chocolate torte. Again, I found myself thinking of Allie. She’d laughed when I offered to buy her some chocolates from a store we’d passed.
“I don’t think so. For what they charge, you could feed a hungry family for a day. Why don’t you spend the money on that instead?”
Her words had lingered, and I couldn’t put them out of my head, especially since I knew that dessert here had cost double what the chocolates would have been. It would have fed a hungry family for two days. This meal? Probably for a month. And Paisley hadn't finished any of it or asked to have it wrapped up to take home.
“Yo
u look so grim, baby…”
Paisley’s fingers stroked down my hand, and I looked up, offering a smile that I didn’t feel. I didn’t know where this mood had come from, but I couldn’t push it aside, so I needed to change how Paisley was seeing it. I couldn't ruin tonight. My mother would never forgive me.
“I’m not grim.” I took her hand in mine and lifted it to my lips. “I’m intent. Have I told you how beautiful you look?”
“Not recently.” Her lashes fell low, a demure smile curling her lips as she made it clear she’d be happy to hear it. Again. Not just now, but in five minutes, and then another five minutes after that. As far as Paisley was concerned, she could hear it from multiple people, multiple times a day, and she still wasn’t getting her due.
“You look…magnificent. Ethereal.” I kissed the tips of her fingers, then turned her hand upward and brushed another kiss on her palm. It was nothing less than the truth, and I had no problem giving her the words she needed to hear. “You’re lovely, Paisley.”
“Thank you.” She looked satisfied, like she was simply accepting my words as fact.
She did look lovely. The dress she wore was all smoke and ice, a dark gray that highlighted her skin, and small stones set in the fabric reflected the light back, drawing the eye her way. More than a few people had looked at us when we came in, were even still looking now. Not that Paisley would ever point such a thing out, but for her, it was all about being noticed.
And of course she noticed others. Not in the nicest way most of the time either, I had to admit. She’d made a cutting remark earlier as we came inside about how one of the ladies was wearing a pair of shoes that had been last year’s design. Another was shamefully sporting a knock-off designer dress. How déclassé. None of it was said loud enough for anybody but me to overhear, save for the few times she’d made a disappointing noise under her breath about how a certain family was so coming down in the world, or how that woman was going to have to marry up if she wanted to keep moving in the same social circles.
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