BACK INSIDE THE tent, I hold back the tears weighing heavy in my eyes. “Aiden, I’m not cool with this. I’m beyond pissed off.”
Aiden grabs a bottle of water and squirts some onto a rag. Carefully, he wipes at blood drying around his lower lip. Moving the rag to his eyebrow, he winces as he dabs the swelling cut. “Yeah, can you believe that Toddy? What a jerk.”
My eyes narrow. “Aiden, I’m not pissed at Toddy. I’m pissed off at you.”
Aiden snaps to attention. “What? Why?”
My hands rest on my hips. “Ah, you got up and left me while we were making love. You told me Jess means nothing, yet you run off as if you are rescuing her from Toddy.” I shake my head in disbelief.
Aiden grabs my hand, but I push him away. “Don’t touch me.”
He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “I get it. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. There’s just so much you don’t know about my history with Toddy.”
My hands are shaking as I voice my anger. “Then tell me so I can understand, because from where I stand, I don’t feel like I’m your first choice. And I’m not sticking around if I’m just going to be second in your life. I’ve done that before and it almost broke me.”
“You are my first choice.”
“After how you just acted, it doesn’t seem like it.”
Shaking his head, he raises his voice. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“No, Aiden. Don’t you be ridiculous. You said nothing happened between you and Jess and that she is like a little sister, but your actions are showing me she means something more.”
“It’s a long story.”
My lip twitches. “You want me to understand? Then you better start explaining.”
He sighs loudly as takes off his jeans. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Pick somewhere,” I say, my tone crisp.
He slumps onto his swag. “Look, for some reason in high school, Toddy changed. He got aggressive.”
Annoyed, I look upwards towards the top of the tent. “What does this have to do with Jess?”
He reaches out and strokes my leg. “Let me explain.”
“Fine.” I sit across from him on the other swag.
“Toddy got into partying hard. I mean, really hard. He also had this habit of breaking a woman as though he was breaking in a horse. Especially any woman connected to me. He would pull them into whatever drugs he was experimenting with. Toddy seemed to be resistant to whatever he’d take, but most girls couldn’t handle the level he seemed to operate at and wound up getting damaged.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I remain apprehensive. “How did you not get pulled into all that stuff with him?”
“I wasn’t always around. Sometimes I was away at a rodeo, sometimes he was away at a bull riding event. Other times, I was there, but I was never into taking drugs. I know it must have been hard to believe when I told you in your office, but I was being honest when I said I only experimented with them.”
“But what does this have to do with him messing around with Jess?”
“I told you, she’s like a little sister. I don’t want to see her become another one of Toddy’s casualties.”
“Don’t you think Jess should be making those decisions for herself? Surely, she’s aware of what Toddy’s like.” My eyes narrow, studying his expression. “She’s a big girl and can take care of herself.”
He shrugs. “Maybe.”
“No, Aiden, she’s a lot bolder than you think.” I push a lock of hair behind my ear. “What did Toddy mean when he said he didn’t ask you to take the blame?”
He stares downward, taking a few minutes to answer. “I’ve only loved one other woman besides you. At least I thought it was love, but who knows what love is when you’re young.” He smooths a wrinkle in his jeans. “I lost her because of Toddy.”
“How?” I lift my head, rotating my neck to relieve the tension.
Aiden squeezes his eyes shut. “There was this girl. We were together for almost a year and were planning on going to university together. She began acting strange a few months before graduation. I thought maybe she was stressed about getting through the end of high school. I figured having a party on my parents’ property would help everyone get away and relax. You know, blow off some steam or whatever. A bunch of us chilling around a bonfire and sleeping in tents sounded like a great idea. Whoever thought it could go so wrong.” Aiden glances at me while picking dirt off his jeans.
I remain still with my jaw clenched.
“A week before the party, she told me she was pregnant. I was shocked because we’d always been careful, but I tried to be there for her as much as I could. When the night of the party rolled around, she was acting peculiar, and we wound up having a big argument. I didn’t understand why. A few hours later, trying to be the good guy, I went to find her to apologise, but instead, I walked in on her and Toddy having sex.”
My jaw drops. And they’re still friends?
“Yeah, turns out the love of my life had been sleeping with my best friend for months. She told me the baby wasn’t mine. I was so angry I stormed off from my own party and went to the stables. I figured I’d take Dusty for a ride to clear my head, but in my drunken state, I somehow fell asleep in an empty stall. A few hours later, I was woken up by a loud crash.”
My eyes grow wide with fear at what he might say next.
Aiden stares down at his feet. “I ran towards the sound and found Toddy was messing around doing doughnuts in the paddock. He had lost control and crashed into the tents. When I got to where they were, my ute was lying on top of my tent.”
I cover my mouth with my fingers. “Did she…”
Aiden glances at me, then looks away and shakes his head. “She somehow survived with only a broken leg and serious concussion, but she lost the baby. At the hospital, when her parents found out she was pregnant, they lost the plot and moved her away immediately. I never heard from her again.”
I can’t even imagine the heartbreak he must have felt.
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah, it broke me for a while.”
We sit for a moment not speaking.
I fiddle with the zipper on the swag beneath me. “She’d gotten into taking drugs, hadn’t she?”
“What?”
“You said she started acting strange. Drugs are usually a reason people change suddenly.”
Aiden crosses his legs. “The blood test at the hospital showed she had been taking a cocktail of drugs. I was shocked. I had no idea she had tried anything other than drinking alcohol.”
“You didn’t notice any signs?”
“There were a few months where I was away on weekends competing in rodeos, so I wasn’t seeing her as much. It was also high school, so it’s not like we were living together and saw each other every day. If there were any signs, they were easy for me to ignore.”
I grab a blanket and wrap it around my shoulders. “And you think Toddy was involved in her taking drugs?”
He runs his hand through his hair and grimaces. “I could never prove it, but I think her first time was with Toddy. One of her friends said she had been spending weekends around him when I was away.”
“That doesn’t mean he gave them to her.”
“Oh, he would have. I have no doubt about it. Toddy was involved in a number of bad things back then.”
“And he never got in trouble?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I’ve cleaned up more messes of his than you could imagine.”
“Toddy didn’t get in trouble for the accident at your party?”
Aiden looks up at the top of the tent. “Nope. When I woke my parents to get their help that night, my dad insisted I take the blame if the police got involved.”
“Why would he want you to do that?”
“During that time, Toddy’s dad was drinking a lot. He was a mean drunk, and on occasion, he’d beat Toddy to a pulp.” Aiden closes his eyes. “You can’t begin to imagine th
e state I’ve found Toddy in sometimes.”
I shake my head gently.
“My dad was worried Toddy’s father would kill him. So, he insisted that I tell everyone I was the one driving the ute and caused the accident. I was young, and my dad was in charge. I always did what he said back then.”
“Did the police get involved?”
“Not really. I think my dad paid a few people off to make everything go away. He always seemed to throw money at problems. It was always his solution to everything.” He puckers his lips and shakes his head. “I know he paid the girl’s family to keep quiet.”
“Did you ever try finding her?”
“I did when I was going through my trial.” Aiden runs his fingers through his hair, sighing. “I found out that she had overdosed and died a year before.” His shoulders drop as he rubs his forehead. “It was a big wake up call about what I was doing to other people. It was quite ironic to learn I lost someone I cared about to drugs when I was waiting for my trial as a drug trafficker.” With his eyebrows raised, he studies my reaction. “I guess in psychological speak you could say that was my breakthrough moment.”
“Hmm, that would’ve been hard to deal with.”
“I’ve had lots of time to think about it since then. There’s no way to run from reality, especially in jail. For a while, I blamed Toddy for everything, but I know it’s not all his fault.” He stares down at the swag, lost in thought. “You know, we’ve never talked about any of it.”
I’m still confused. Why would he even have Toddy in his life after all that?
“Aiden, how have you stayed friends with him?”
“There is a reason, but I can’t go into it right now. I just need you to trust me that one day it’ll all make sense.”
“Okay, but this is a lot to take in. And I don’t know what to think of this Jess thing.”
He stares into my eyes. “I promise that she means nothing to me. She is an old family friend, and I’ve always watched out for her because that’s how I was raised.”
“Nothing has happened between you two romantically?”
His eyes never leave mine. “No.”
Nothing in his expression tells me to doubt his answer.
Aiden reaches out, trying to interlace his fingers with mine. “You are the one I love and the one I want. No one else. Just you.”
I let him hold my hand.
Dropping his chin, he looks at me with innocent eyes. “Now, come cuddle with me.”
“I’m still too pissed off to cuddle.” I hold back from showing any emotion though his puppy dog expression makes me want to give him what he wants.
He pulls my hand, causing me to fall on top of him. “I like this aggressive side of you, Holly. You acting all feisty and standing up for yourself is sexy.”
“Don’t try to be sweet, because I’m not going to fall for it. Just let me sleep.”
“I’ll stop talking if you at least sleep in my arms.”
I crawl into his swag but lie with my back to him. “I’m only doing this because I’m cold.”
He laughs sarcastically. “Oh, okay. As if I believe that.” He wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles against my neck.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SUNLIGHT POURS INTO the tent, stealing me from my dreams and forcing me back to reality. Opening my eyes, I find Aiden inches away, gazing at me.
His fingers caress my cheek. “I wondered when you’d wake up.”
Rubbing my eyes, I try to get rid of the bleariness. “Hmm, what time is it?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been up since before the sun came up, just watching your beautiful face.”
My legs stretch out, releasing the tightness from sleeping in the swag. Thoughts of last night flood into my mind.
He strokes my cheek again, tilting his head to the side. “Holly, I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me.”
I purse my lips, not saying a thing. I want to hear what Aiden has to say for himself.
His eyes droop as he speaks with humility. “I don’t want you to ever doubt me, and I realise my being protective of Jess has you questioning my intentions with her. I promise, I only have feelings for you.”
This is my chance. I can’t shy away from conflict like I did in my marriage.
Taking a breath, I summon up whatever courage I have. “Aiden, I’m not going to put up with that sort of thing. I’ve done so in the past and regretted it. I’m never going to be second with you or anyone. And I’m sure as hell not going to stand by while someone tries to take you from me.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not your ex-husband.” He pauses as uncertainty creeps into his face. “If we’re going to have a future, you need to trust me, and you can’t keep comparing me to Tom.”
I lay against the swag, staring at the top of the tent, while my heart contorts with anger, jealousy and self-doubt. “I know you’re not Tom, and I do trust you, but I don’t trust Jess. I don’t trust many women because I know how they can be. Some women will do crazy things to get a man. You need to trust me on this.”
“Jess is not the type to try anything like that.”
I roll my eyes. “Aiden, you’re a smart guy. You wouldn’t have gotten away with the things you’ve done in your life if you didn’t see through people and what they’re capable of doing. So, don’t be blind and dumb when it comes to her.”
“You’re right. I’m asking you to trust me when I should also trust you.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “You know, this dumb guy thinks he’s damn lucky to wake up to a woman like you every day.”
My heart flutters, but I fight every urge to smile.
He strokes his fingers down my arm. “I haven’t slept much. How about we get out of here and go home?”
“Okay.”
As we’re packing up, Toddy stumbles out of his tent and walks towards us, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Aiden, umm, I’m not sure what happened last night.”
Without looking up, Aiden continues packing. “Let’s not talk about it.” He picks up an esky and places it into the back of his truck.
A confused expression spreads across Toddy’s face.
Yeah, I’m confused, too. Is this how guys deal with it? Pummel each other senseless then act like there was no problem to begin with.
Continuing to avoid making eye contact with Toddy, Aiden throws our swags into the back of the truck. “I just want to get home. Can you help me hook the boat trailer?”
“Yeah, sure.” Toddy scratches at his chin. “Am I coming back with you or do I need to find a ride?”
Aiden’s jaw tightens as he stops and stares at the side of the truck. “You can come with us, but we’re leaving now.”
“I’ll go get my gear.”
Once the truck is packed, Aiden and I walk over to say goodbye to Carly and James.
Aiden shakes hands with James. “It was great seeing you guys.” He looks towards Will and Tara’s tent. “Can you tell those two we said goodbye? I need to get home and get some work done.”
“Sure thing, mate. I’m glad you’re back with us. Let’s all meet at the pub one night soon.” James smiles.
“I’ll give you a call.” Aiden fumbles with the keys in his hand.
“It was nice meeting you, Holly.” Carly sips her cuppa.
“It was nice meeting y’all.” I wave to them as we walk towards Aiden’s truck. I notice Jess has not come out of her tent.
Aiden does not mention her, nor does he try to find her to say goodbye as we climb into the truck and head home.
WE DRIVE HOME in silence until Aiden finally breaks the tension. “Toddy, more cattle are coming in a few days. If you want to go home for the night that’s fine. Just be back before Tuesday if you can.”
Toddy says groggily, “No worries. I should probably go home and check on Mum.” He rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Should I move my stuff into the workers quarters?”
“It’s up to you, but you can stay in the house until
we hire staff.”
The turn to Aiden’s home comes into sight.
What a relief to be back home.
Toddy’s ute is parked near the front door. For the first time, I notice he has numerous stickers plastered against the back window. Some are unsurprisingly rude, but the biggest one is in the shape of a Bundaberg Rum bottle.
I grimace. “What’s the deal with all those stickers? And those antennas? Why so many?” I glimpse over my shoulder, noticing Toddy has drifted back to sleep.
“He thinks it looks cool,” Aiden answers under his breath
My eyebrows raise, but I don’t say what I’m thinking.
Is Toddy trying to overcompensate for something? Or is this just some sort of country thing I’ve not learned about?
After unloading everything, Aiden unhitches the boat from his truck. “Toddy, want to pull your ute around?”
“Actually,” Toddy clears his throat before continuing. “Can I leave the boat here?”
Aiden looks puzzled. “If you want, I guess that’s fine.”
The two of them move the boat to one of the sheds before Toddy leaves.
Finally, a night alone! No Toddy, Jess or anything to distract us.
RAISING MY ARMS, I slip on a short, silk nightie. The cool fabric hugs against my curves as I enter the bedroom and find Aiden in bed.
He rolls onto his side and props himself up on his elbow. “You look divine. Come here so I can take that off.”
My appetite grows as I strut over and kneel on the bed.
He stretches his arm towards the vertical columns of the four-poster bed. “You know, we’ve never used this bed properly.”
I run my fingers along one of the stiff, hard columns. “What are you thinking?”
Aiden sits up, leans close and places one hand around the side of my neck. His rapier glance passes over my body. “I’d love to tie you up and tease you over and over until you scream my name, begging me to make you come.”
His words ignite something inside. Urges I’ve never felt are bubbling to the surface. “Yes, tie me up.”
At this moment, in his eyes, I’m the most fascinating thing that exists in the world. He lets go of my neck, then leaves the room. Moments later he returns with a rope.
Leading Hand (The Dusty Rider Series Book 2) Page 14