by AmyJ
Fitzwilliam."
Darcy fought against the urge to pull her tightly against him. Seeing such glee in her face made his heart soar.
The theatre was quite crowded, but Darcy's expertise had them seated without too much fanfare. And before long, the lights of theatre dimmed.
Elizabeth watched the performance with rapt attention. As the ladies gathered around Tamino, the handsome prince - each trying to claim him for herself -
she thought of her own Tamino, seated next to her. She turned to look at him.
Seeing him looking back at her, she blushed and turned her attention back to the stage.
As she watched the second act, Elizabeth was brought to tears as Pamina sang of the pain of a love lost, a love regretted.
Ah ‘tis gone, ‘tis gone for ever,
Happy dream, twill ne'er come
Ne'er again to cheer me
Hours of joy that once I knew.
O Tamino, only hear me!
Must I suffer thy disdain?
If no longer thou dost love me,
Only death can end my pain.2
What would she do if Darcy came to regret the match as Tamino appeared to?
Her heart ached anew. At least Pamina had known the pleasure of being loved.
She would not even have that.
A strong hand on hers startled her. She looked down, to see a handkerchief
being pressed into it. Fitzwilliam. She dared not to look at him. Her sentiments could not be concealed. It would be better to have him believe her touched by the opera than expose the truth. Someday, she would tell him of her feelings -
when the time was right - but not now.
She took the proffered linen and dried her eyes, taking a moment to savour his scent on it. She knew she should return the article, but was not ready to give up the intimacy of holding something of his.
By the conclusion of the play, Elizabeth was in better spirits. The lovers had endured the House of Ordeals, and would live happily ever after. Hopefully she and Fitzwilliam would share that same fate.
As the curtains closed, a resounding cheer rose from the crowd, and shortly thereafter, the three made their way out front to wait for their carriage.
Georgiana was silently standing nearby, while Elizabeth contemplated the
handkerchief in her hand. How easy it would be to pretend she had mistaken it for her own, and place it in her reticule for safekeeping.
"I hope you enjoyed yourself this evening," Darcy said, startling her.
"It was lovely." Elizabeth replied, feeling much like a child trying to hide a stolen biscuit. Sternly reminding herself the state of affairs with the cloth's proper owner, she reluctantly returned it. "Thank you, Fitzwilliam."
Darcy accepted it, trying not to let his disappointment show. He had hoped she would keep it, as a token. He would have understood if she had been too shy to ask and simply slipped it into her pocket. Had she kept it, it would have been the sign he had been waiting for. Its return, however, spoke just as loudly. He was still but a friend to her.
In an effort to keep from betraying his thoughts, he turned to his sister. "I suppose you will want the music score, even if I have to send to Germany for it."
Georgiana giggled but nodded. "There were so many delightful pieces. I would love to learn any one of them." She looked at Elizabeth. "We could play duets.
I would not even mind being Tamino."
Elizabeth laughed. "My dear, you are far too beautiful, and your voice too sweet to be mistaken for Tamino. Do you not agree, Fitzwilliam?"
A slight smirk was his only response before their carriage appeared. All conversation ceased until it stopped in front of Lanelle House.
Elizabeth and Georgiana opted to say their goodbyes in the carriage, before Darcy handed down Elizabeth. As he walked to the front doors of the house, he said, "I fear we shall not be able to see each other again until we travel to Hertfordshire."
"You are to travel with me?" Elizabeth asked surprised. "I had thought you were to follow just a few days before the wedding?"
"There has been a change of plans that was only confirmed this afternoon.
Georgiana and I shall escort you to Longbourn, if you have no objection."
Elizabeth smiled. "Of course not. It shall help the time on the road pass more quickly."
"Very well. We shall travel together." As the Matlock's butler was now waiting for Elizabeth to enter, Darcy bid his farewell with a kiss on her hand. "Good night, Elizabeth."
A tingle flew up Elizabeth's arm, causing her heart to tumble recklessly in her chest. His tone and manner were so gentle and soft, it was easy to imagine this was a parting of lovers. She knew it was not.
"Good night, Fitzwilliam." Heedless of the waiting servant, she watched as the carriage pulled away and then whispered, "My love."
1 The Italian interpretation of Mozart's The Magic Flute was the first performance of the opera in London.
2 These words are from the English translation of Mozart's Magic Flute.
Chapter Thirty
The day of Elizabeth's return to Longbourn was met with much less fanfare
than she expected. Perhaps it was because her memories of travelling in a large party always involved her mother and sisters. Or, it may have been she simply expected a high degree of chaos because those travelling included not only the Darcys, but also the Matlocks and Blakeslees.
The day proceeded, however, in the sedate manner she had grown accustomed
to at Lanelle House. There were perhaps a few more servants moving about,
but there were no loud calls for salts, or bickering over purloined parasols, gloves, or ribbons ringing through the house.
There was a slight bustle at the front door - upon the arrival of the Darcy carriage - as greetings were exchanged and Elizabeth donned her travel cloak, gloves and bonnet. Then, after receiving assurances the Matlocks would meet
them later in the day in Hertfordshire, Darcy, Georgiana, and Elizabeth exited and made for the carriage.
"Are you pleased to be returning home, Elizabeth?" Georgiana asked. "I always look forward to returning to Pemberley."
Elizabeth looked to Darcy, who was staring at her oddly, and then to
Georgiana. She grasped the young girl's hand in her own. "I must own I do miss my home. London's walking paths can hardly compare to Hertfordshire's."
She flashed a small smile at Darcy and said, "Though I do believe I shall be quite content at Pemberley."
Georgiana gasped softly and blushed, realizing her faux pas. "Oh, I am sorry."
"Think nothing of it, Georgiana. It is the natural way of things." She squeezed the girl's hand. "Some day you will have to say goodbye to Pemberley." She dared a glance at Darcy and not unexpectedly saw him now wearing a deep
scowl. With her eyes full of mischief, she said, "Though from your brother's countenance, it shall be a great number of years before he allows it."
Georgiana's eyes widened noticing Darcy's dark glare, but then she too giggled.
"At least I know you will not allow him to scare off every suitor. Else, I might die a spinster." She placed a dramatic hand against her forehead, causing the two to dissolve into laughter as Darcy grumbled under his breath.
Had either lady been able to read his thoughts, they would know it was not
Georgiana and her prospects that were foremost.
Seeing his sister giggle and tease warmed him as much as any hearth could, but knowing it was Elizabeth who had brought about the change in her, made his
heart swell to enormous proportions. He crossed his arms over his chest -- as if they were needed to contain the love he felt -- and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. The words of the opera once again rang through his head.
The prince had sung about his Pamina.
Was ever maiden half so fair?
I know not if ‘tis joy or pain
That overwhelms my reeling brain.
Oh could I o
nly kneel before her!
Tell her how madly I adore her!
And fearing, hoping - maid divine!
Ah, what would I?
Within these arms I would enfold her,
To this my burning heart fast hold her,
And so forever were she mine.1
Those words had haunted him from the moment he heard them. It was as if Mozart had written that piece just for him. How had he so aptly captured all he felt?
That night at the theatre, it had taken every ounce of his self-discipline not to turn to Elizabeth as those words flowed from the stage. If she had discovered him staring at her at that moment, it would have been as loud as any verbal admission he could make. And when he declared himself, it would certainly not be at the King's Theatre!
He surreptitiously patted the pocket that held the handkerchief Elizabeth had used that night, and swallowed his frustration. Had she kept the simple square of linen, it would have been the sign he longed for. When they returned to
Longbourn, he would have taken her to Oakham Mount and bared his soul. On
bended knee, he would have once again asked her to be his wife, this time not only in the eyes of society, but also in heart, mind and body.
How sweet he imagined her response to be. She would fall into his arms, and promise to be his for all eternity. He would pull her close, finally taste her sweet lips, and pour out his heart to her.
He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the carriage, willing the stomach flutters his imagination had caused to calm. Follow the plan, he
reminded himself. A confession before the wedding could ruin everything.
Afterwards, however, was entirely different. He had not planned when or
where, but he would tell Elizabeth all he felt. For his own sanity, he had to!
Perhaps at Pemberley, just before they returned to London.
Though the sky was grey and threatened rain, the roads were in good condition.
So it was, that even with two stops, they still made Meryton in the mid-
afternoon. The excitement that was absent in London greeted Elizabeth at
Longbourn. The carriage had just come to a stop when Mr. Bennet and Jane
could be seen exiting the house.
The moment her foot was on the ground, Elizabeth walked hurriedly towards
her sister and caught her in a tight embrace. "Jane, it is so good to see you," she laughed, entirely missing the words Jane whispered.
A few moments later, Elizabeth greeted her father with an affectionate hug and kiss on the cheek. Oh how she had missed her family; all of them! After a brief exchange of greetings to the other members of the travelling part, everyone was led inside where the rest of the family waited.
As she made her way to the parlour, Elizabeth could not help looking around the house, taking in every detail. The small tear in the wall fabric, the dirty corners the maids never seemed to be able to clean, the worn path across the carpet in the hallway. It had none of the opulence of either Arryndale or
Lanelle, yet she found it endearing. A part of her was saddened with the
knowledge that in little more than a se'nnight, she would have to say goodbye to it all.
"Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy," Mrs. Bennet greeted charmingly. She spared Elizabeth a pleased smile. "It is so good to see you again. I am delighted to hear you will be bringing so many of your friends and family. I am looking
forward to introducing them all to my girls." Elizabeth cringed. They had not so much as sat down for tea before her mother began making a spectacle of
herself. She shot Darcy an apologetic smile.
Seeing Elizabeth's discomfort, Darcy did his best to appear nonplussed. "I assure you, Mrs. Bennet, your pleasure is only exceeded by my own." He then took the offered seat.
"Did your cousin, the colonel, not travel with you?" Mrs. Bennet inquired, looking at the door in expectation.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam has been called to duty, Madam. Unfortunately, he will be unable to attend the wedding."
"Not attend? But he was to be your groomsman!" Mrs. Bennet wailed. "My Lydia was so looking forward to making his acquaintance again."
"You were mistaken, Madam," Darcy replied stiffly. "That office had always been intended for my friend Lord Blakeslee. Had I intended Colonel
Fitzwilliam to stand up with me, his duty to the King would certainly pre-empt any he might feel towards me."
Elizabeth was about to interrupt and change the topic of conversation, but was forestalled by her mother's excited exclamations. "Lord Blakeslee? An earl?
When will he arrive? Did he travel with you?"
"He arrives this afternoon, with rest of my family."
Seeing an opening, Elizabeth interrupted. Knowing her mother's penchant for lace and gowns, she began speaking of her many shopping excursions with
Lady Matlock and Lady Fitzwilliam. The ploy worked, and though Darcy's
attention was directed towards Georgiana and Jane, Elizabeth was relieved to see him more relaxed.
However, all good things must eventually end, and Mrs. Bennet once again
demanded the attention of her soon to be son. "Mr. Darcy, you must enlighten me to the particulars of your guests. I would have all their favourites."
All eyes turned towards Darcy as he named the guests who would be staying
with him at the Great House at Stoke: Lord Blakeslee and his mother, and Lord and Lady Matlock, as well the viscount and his wife and son.
"But I had heard you were to bring seven gentlemen," Mrs. Bennet protested.
"Does Mr. Bingley not attend you?"
Elizabeth immediately jerked her attention to Jane, hoping to ascertain
something from her sister's reaction. Jane, however, being ever adept at hiding her feelings, simply sat with her usual serene look upon her face. The only hint of disturbance was her slightly pursed lips.
"La!" Lydia sang. "What I want to know is will there be any officers amongst your party?" To this, Kitty joined Lydia in a loud giggle. "The regiment is to leave Hertfordshire, and father will not allow me to travel with the Forsters, even though I was invited." She shot a smug look to Kitty.
Blushing from head to toe, Elizabeth contemplated whether or not Lady
Matlock might be amenable to another student, or three or four.
Though Darcy's posture was rigid, and his face blank, he maintained
politeness. "I am sorry to disappoint you, Madam. Mr. Bingley had business that could not be delayed, but will attend the wedding. My friend, Mr. Woodall and his family were also unable to attend, as Mrs. Woodall is still in her
confinement."
Mrs. Bennet hmmphed, and Elizabeth quickly steered the conversation to other topics such as the sights of London, and the opera she had attended. Shortly thereafter, the Darcys stood to take their leave.
That evening, Jane and Elizabeth retired to their room early. Though her trunks had been unpacked, she had to begin the process of determining which things were to go with her, and what would remain behind for her sisters.
As she rifled through the drawers in her armoire, she said cheerfully, "Tell me everything I have missed, Jane."
"There is not much to tell, Lizzy. Mother is as you would expect, and father continues to pass time in his study."
"Was papa very angry over Colonel Fitzwilliam?" It was an awkward way to raise the subject, but Elizabeth knew no other way.
Jane blushed and shook her head mutely. "He inquired over his intentions and my preference for him. I informed him the colonel had been sent to the
continent. Papa said nothing more about it after that."
Elizabeth put a consoling hand on Jane's shoulder, and then dropped a pile of ribbons and box of beads on the bed. "I am certain there is nothing to fear." She was careful to keep her tone upbeat, despite her own concern. "I have heard that there are very few battles, and with the colonel's rank, he may not see combat at all."
Jane ret
urned a half smile. "But now Lizzy, you must tell of all your
preparations. You sounded rather discouraged in your letters."
Elizabeth allowed her sister to change the subject and did her best to make light of her time at Lanelle house. Indeed, the last week, and the time spent with Darcy, had done a lot to lessen the trial that might have been.
Together, two sisters laughed and teased one another, both understanding such moments would be few and far between after the wedding.
So light was the mood, that Elizabeth was taken aback when the conversation suddenly turned serious once again.
"Lizzy, are you certain you wish to marry Mr. Darcy?" Jane queried.
"Of course I do!" came the emphatic reply. She cringed seeing Jane's poor attempt at hiding a giggle.
"Do you love him?"
Elizabeth buried her face in her hands. When she looked up, she did not have to look in the mirror to know her cheeks glowed. "I shall admit this only to you, my dearest sister." After an excited pause she said, "I do love him; with all my heart. He truly is the best of men." Feeling the heat in her cheeks growing, she hid her face once again. It felt so good to finally tell someone! Now she could marry Fitzwilliam Darcy, and patiently wait for the right moment to tell him all that was in her heart.
"Oh, Lizzy! I am so very happy for you!" Jane gushed with a happy trill. "I knew it was only a matter of time before..."
Elizabeth looked up sharply. She had to stop Jane before she did something
horrible! "Please Jane, you must not say a word. He does not love me the same way. I would not want him to feel awkward or obliged to me. It would ruin our friendship, and that is the worst thing that could ever happen. You must
promise me you will not say a word to anyone!"
She let out the breath she had been holding when Jane solemnly replied, "I promise, Lizzy. I shall not say a word. But I think you would do well to be honest with Mr. Darcy."
Jane was wrong. Elizabeth was certain of it. "We have agreed to a marriage of friends. I shall not change the terms of our agreement now." The last thing she wanted was for Darcy to discover her feelings now. While he showed a
preference for her company, it was only because he did not perform well
amongst strangers; it was no indication of a deeper attachment.