He looked at me oddly but his eyes were kind. “Wouldn’t do to have people suddenly thinking we’re best friends or anything at this stage of the game.”
“Course not.” I guess I wasn’t able to keep the hurt off my face. I knew that Persephone and Prometheus weren’t friends like Theo and me. Sigh. With me stuck here, and in the face of that horrible deal Theo had struck with Felicia, yeah, I wanted more from Prometheus as compensation.
I wanted us.
“Not like you were supposed to sweep me up in your arms or anything,” I teased, wishing exactly that. Even if only for one of his millisecond hugs.
“Definitely not part of our deal,” he joked back.
Deal. Yeah. Right. That’s all this was to him. A business arrangement.
Prometheus patted me on the arm. “Feeling nervous?”
I forced myself to stop moping about our lack of a friendship, and focus on getting the truth spirit here so Theo would remember me. “It’s not that,” I said. “I need you to help me put one more piece into place.”
“Prometheus.”
I shivered at that low voice. Hovering in mid-air beside us, was Thanatos.
Death.
Appearances were slightly deceiving. Thanatos looked like a winged baby. But no one would be cooing over him unless they were a serious psychopath. He was too pale, too self-composed, and he gave off the creepiest vibe of any being I’d ever encountered.
I took a step back.
Thanatos spared me the briefest of glances before he spoke to Prometheus again. “My Lord has a task for you.”
“We—” I plucked up the courage to speak in Thanatos’ presence.
“Are done,” Prometheus finished in a hard voice, that would have anyone convinced of how little he wanted to be around me.
It’s just an act.
He followed Thanatos away without a single look back.
I sighed.
The sky streaked with black as the sun set. I yawned and figured it was time to go find my room. I didn’t relish the idea of making small talk with Hades, so crashing early seemed like a good plan. I didn’t even have an appetite. Which proved more than anything what a number this day had done on me.
I entered the palace through a passage which, although on the opposite end from the iron front doors, still led into the massive throne room. The walls in here were hewn from the same large blocks of green marble as the outside. The last time I’d been here, the room had been empty. Now tons of godly beings roamed around chatting, seeing, and being seen.
How high school.
The room was unbearably stuffy and my nose wrinkled at the smell of so many bodies pressed into the space. Not sweat so much as competing perfumes and colognes. Very cloying.
I avoided everyone, weaving my way past the large throne, raised up from the jet-black obsidian floor on a base. The throne was obsidian too, cut from a single block and standing thirty feet tall.
Hades sat upon it, his attention on a selection of wines in crystal goblets that some monkey-like satyr held out on a silver tray.
Much to my relief, he didn’t see me, and I managed to cross to the corridor beyond without any “Greetings and Salutations.” Given some of the sneers directed my way, I wasn’t Miss Popularity. Which suited me just fine.
I followed the wide, winding staircase in the hallway up to Persephone’s room on the third floor. I breathed deep, enjoying the fresh air outside of the throne room. No over-sprayed bodies here, just a slight undercurrent of something woodsy, slightly spicy, and a tad sour.
Cypress. Any tree scent was reassuring to me. Especially these trees which grew so abundantly around Hope Park. They reminded me of home. Both happily and wistfully.
I stepped onto the third floor landing and glanced around. I was alone. I counted off three doors on the left, grasped the heavy brass latch on the fourth solid wooden door, and pushed.
It was exactly as I’d seen it in Persephone’s memories. A rush of nostalgia overwhelmed me. This had been my room for years and years. And the memories weren’t all bad. I squirmed, not wanting to go there right now.
The furnishings were simple. And colorful. The most color I’d seen in the Underworld. A moss green blanket—the exact shade of my light—covered a massive bed. Cranberry and deep blue throw pillows were piled high on top, and warmly lit by a bedside lamp. The walls were a creamy white, while the furniture was a rich cherry red. I sighed, the colors giving me nourishment and energy.
And the smell. As nice as the cypress wafting through the hallways was, this room smelled like spring. There was no other way to describe it. It was rich earth, fragile blooms, and sunshine. I wondered if that’s how I smelled to other people. How Persephone smelled. If so, it was definitely my favorite thing about her.
Just as I was idly wondering how I could bottle that scent and bring it back home, Kai’s arms came around me from behind and he nuzzled in the hollow on the left side of my neck. My happy spot. Okay, Persephone’s happy spot too. Yet another reason to keep this all platonic. Something I had to repeat silently several times, as I wriggled with tingly sensations along every nerve ending.
Kai shuffled us into the room and kicked the door shut behind him.
Gulp.
He turned me to face him. “What’s wrong, kardia mou?” he asked gently. “Worried about the plan?”
Enough with the “my heart” stuff. I kept waiting for him to crack up and not be able to say it with a straight face. But no. This was how these widdle sweetums talked to each other.
“All is well, matia mou.” The endearment, literally “my eyes” or “light of my eyes”, just tripped off my tongue. Because it was what Persephone had called Kyrillos.
Very different from the names I tended to fling his way.
Kai looked pleased to hear the pet name.
I, however, had an irrational urge to blast something.
Either he didn’t notice or he simply attributed it to being nervous about the upcoming ritual. “I’ll take care of everything. We’ll be fine,” he assured me in that sweet voice.
I’ll be fine. Persephone’s rage swelled up inside me.
Down, girl, I cautioned. There’d be no betrayals on my watch. But maybe there could be some closure for the past. I stepped away from Kai. “First, I’m not going to break. So you have to stop treating me like I will.”
He tipped his head to one side and studied me. “Are you getting sulky again?” A slow grin spread over his face. “I can fix that.”
Now I was annoyed on Persephone’s behalf. Talk about small miracles. “Are you even listening to me?”
He nodded and made himself comfortable on my bed, lounging back, arms folded behind his head as if he hadn’t a care in the world. “Always.”
The hem of his shirt rose, exposing a tanned strip of perfectly sculpted abs.
I absolutely did not gape.
He motioned for me to sit beside him.
I opted to look off slightly to the left of his nose, ignoring his blatant invitation. I was thankful he was fully clothed. “Second,” I said, “who said anything about you taking care of everything? We’re in this together.”
I had come close enough to the bed that Kai was able to hook a foot around my leg and yank me onto the mattress with him. Perfectly aligned with his body.
This was an extremely dangerous, super awesome place to be.
My brain went into high alert.
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against my skin. “Since when do you want to take care of anything?”
I stiffened and sat up. “You never give me the choice.”
Kai propped himself up on one elbow. “You’ve never once indicated you wanted one. Even for the simplest decisions, you never offer up your own opinion.” He sounded annoyed now. Much more what I was used to.
I would have refuted that, but I couldn’t think of a single time when Persephone actually had offered an opinion. I deflated. “Forget it.”
“Fine by me.�
� And with that, he kissed me.
What a kiss.
What a perfectly disappointing kiss.
I thought he was toying with me at first. I mean, our lips pressed together, there were all the right motions, and it was fine.
But I’d never had fine with Kai.
I’d had “blow my mind”. I’d had “melt my bones”. I’d had “blackout ecstasy.”
I’m sure the kiss looked very romantic from the outside but here in the middle of the action, it was all rather nondescript, kissing partner considered.
No wonder Persephone wanted to kill him. Except … there was nothing in any of her memories about this being a disappointment, or anything other than what she wanted. She hadn’t had any complaints about their love life.
Where was the chemistry? The combustibility? Should I be glad it wasn’t there? So confused.
There was a click as Kai turned off the lamp. The room was plunged into darkness, save for the silvery sliver of moonlight trickling in through the window.
My confusion grew. “It’s bedtime,” I said.
There was a rustle and what sounded like an item of clothing hitting the floor. “Exactly,” he replied, as he took me in his arms. I pressed my hands to his chest realizing it was bare.
Kai tried to tug up my robe.
Holy! Crap! I grabbed it in a death grip.
“A little late to be playing hard to get, love,” he said, amused.
“Very tired. Go back to your room now.”
He laughed. “Are you taking over our bedroom?”
“Our?” They shared? Of course they did.
Another rustle and a heavier thump.
Nervously, I stretched out the tips of my fingers. And cringed as I felt more bare skin. The thump had been his pants.
Please be wearing underwear.
Tentative, I crept my fingers up his thigh—how I loved his thighs. I was relieved to hit boxer length fabric.
Unfortunately, Kai saw that as an invitation. “I need you.”
Oh. Ohhh.
Yes, please!
Hell, no!
My brain intervened before my mouth could say something I’d regret. Although it had to put quite the smackdown on some serious cravings. It was a struggle, but in the end, my mind emerged victorious.
Kind of a hollow victory.
I bolted back to the edge of the bed. There was no way in Hades, Olympus, or any reality that my first time having sex—especially with Kai—was going to happen while I was in Persephone’s body.
No getting intimate and interactive for us.
A very long silence ensued, during which I gnawed my bottom lip raw, and tried to figure out how to handle this without coming off as a tease or a prude. What was Persephone normal? “We should wait to have sex until after the ritual. So as not to dilute its power.” There. I thought that was pretty good.
Kai sat up into a pool of moonlight. He raked his hands through his hair. “When we do the ritual, is it going to work? Or is whatever you’re so mad about going to sour the whole thing?”
I flinched, hearing him parrot the words I’d said to him back at his house. I gave him a strained smile. “Don’t be silly. Everything is fine.”
“Uh-huh.”
With a final assessing glance, he turned away and lay down.
I stayed on the edge of the bed, tense until, finally I heard Kai’s even breathing and knew he was asleep. Careful not to wake him, I scooted closer and peered down.
Kai was tangled in the sheets, barely covered. In the moonlight, he resembled a fallen angel. He was ripped everywhere, from his long muscled thighs, up his abs and along the perfect V of his torso. Like a chiseled statue.
I braced myself against a sudden rush of giddy longing. My eyes roamed to his face. He must have shaved recently because his skin was free from stubble. His olive complexion so free of blemish that he could have made a mint as the poster boy for clear skin. His dark, thick lashes lay heavily on his cheek. He seemed so innocent.
So beautiful. I longed to touch him. But as me.
And since that was impossible, I curled into a ball on my side of the bed, leaving a good ten inches between us.
It might as well have been a mile.
Thirteen
I woke up Monday morning half sprawled on top of Kai and realized two things. One, he gave off heat like a furnace and two, he was pressing slow kisses into my shoulder.
“Morning.” His voice was growly and scratchy.
I tucked my head against his bare torso, feeling the rise of his chest and the steady thump of his heart. Just like we’d been back at his house. Except that had been Sophie and Kai. This was Persephone and Kyrillos. Kind of.
I wanted the other way back.
I propped myself up on one elbow to look at him.
In response, Kai lowered his head, all the better to gain access to my neck, His dark hair was totally mussed up.
“Kai—,” I caught myself. “Kyrillos, look at me.”
He rolled me onto my back and looked into my eyes. “I see you just fine, kardia mou.”
You’re not seeing me at all. But I wasn’t sure if that thought came because he didn’t see Sophie, or because he didn’t see Persephone.
He leaned in slowly. I knew he wanted to kiss me, and that he was checking to see if Persephone was still upset. Which was sweet. I guess.
I needed to know if the tone of our previous kiss had been a weird one-off, so I allowed this one. My eyes fell closed and Kai moved in.
His kissing has gotten better in the past seventeen years. Or is it just that he had the right person to kiss? Well, he did have a lot of practice after she died. And, ew! How much did he practice? Because he went from little league to the World Series. But yay for me, Sophie, being on the right end of it!
It’s not good when you can hold entire conversations with yourself in the face of your boyfriend’s kisses. And that’s all we were doing. Kissing.
Kai and I would have been tearing at each other’s clothes by now. And we hadn’t even had sex. These two had. There was just none of the madness between them that there was between us. Maybe that was a good thing? Maybe that’s how normal couples did things? Were we just so zero-to-a-billion about everything that all my perceptions were skewed?
Kai paused to smile down at me, just as the sunlight surrounded him, his hair perfectly tousled. I slid my eyes sideways, noticing our just-so rumpled sheets, the way a strand of my hair fell across his arm.
It was a freaking movie moment. That’s what their entire relationship was like for me. Cinema pretty. Not real world messy.
I wanted the messy back. So I bucked to push him off me and sat up. I had to find Prometheus and see about getting that truth spirit to pay a visit. “Busy day,” I said. I’m not stupid. I could tell Kai was getting suspicious of me holding him at bay, so I pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “The equinox is in three days. I’m just edgy.”
He seemed to accept that. Or at least not press the subject.
I threw him a bright smile. “Hungry?”
He swung his legs off the bed, got up, and threw on jeans and a worn green T-shirt. It molded to him, but left many good things to the imagination. “I’ll get you your coffee,” he said.
Before I could add, “Great, that’ll hold me until I get some real food,” a spurt of rage flooded my system. A memory hit me.
Kyrillos entered the room, a large mug in his hands. Sleepily, I propped myself up against the headboard, hoping against hope that today would be different.
I fisted the edge of my blankets, but kept a smile on my face.
He reached me and held out the mug. And just like every morning, I felt disappointment unfurl deep within me. Coffee again. Not hot chocolate.
I accepted the cup, the bitter aroma making my stomach turn.
I hated coffee. But he delivered it to me every day with a smile.
He was no better than the others. Only wanting whatever image of me suited him best. Not rea
lly seeing at all.
Persephone’s simmering anger rose in me, a snarl twisting my lips. It grew, dancing inside me until my back arched and the emotion of the memory thrust me back into my vision. My body tensed as I saw that this time, there was a twist.
Sophie stood across the garden, immobile on the rock. The lava bubbled and flowed freely around her. But where I was, all was light and fire, falling away to nothing.
I burned, stretching out my awareness to fuel the flames and the lava and the destruction. I would die but everything would go down with me.
“Persephone?”
I don’t know how long Kai had been calling me before I came to, but as his face came into focus, I saw him flinch.
Persephone’s memory, her deep seated resentment for Kai had snapped me into a version of the vision that was truly terrifying. My brain couldn’t process the lingering after-emotions of it. Never mind being here, in front of the person who fueled that fury.
I needed Kai gone. To think through what it meant. To be able to shake this off without his very presence leaving me at the mercy of her feelings.
I forced myself to relax the granite glower carved into my face. Uncurled the talons that my fingers had become. I blinked up at Kai with a pleasant smile and hoped he wouldn’t see how fast I was breathing.
I caught sight of the steaming mug that Kai was still holding and felt a irrational surge of hope—maybe it was hot chocolate. I hated feeling like I was losing myself to Persephone, as evidenced by my hesitation before reaching for the coffee I loved so much.
“Here.” As he prompted me to take the cup, there was a flash in his eyes for the briefest of seconds. A glint.
I stared but his now-affable expression didn’t change. And that’s when I realized he knew. The bastard knew Persephone hated coffee, and he gave it to her every day anyway.
Why?
I took the cup from him with a pleasant smile. Just like I always did.
His expression hardened. He threw me a rakish grin and bent briefly to kiss my brow. “Come to me soon,” he said. And then he left.
The sheets fell away as I awkwardly struggled up, with the cup cradled close. For the moment, the astoundingly passive-aggressive dynamic between these two took a back seat to whatever had just happened with the vision.
My Life From Hell Page 15