CHAPTER 10
Making Special Occasions Special
Special-occasion entertaining is some of the best entertaining there is, because you have an event around which all the activities arrange themselves. In this chapter, I’ll talk about the usual special events, like weddings and baby showers, but I’ll also mention a few South-specific ones, like the Kentucky Derby, Steeplechase, and the Nashville Symphony Ball. What they all have in common is a sense of community—and, of course, great food.
Weddings
I happen to love a church wedding, because I’m a practicing Episcopalian—not to be confused with a pescatarian. My daughter, Ava, went through a period for two or three years where she didn’t eat meat, only fish—a pescatarian diet. At that time my son Deacon was in kindergarten, and they were talking about vegetarians. “Does anybody know anyone who has a different diet?” the teacher asked. Deacon raised his hand and said, “I do! My sister is Episcopalian. She eats only fish.”
Growing up, I loved church. I was in the choir for nine years. I loved going every Wednesday after school and every Saturday to practice. I loved singing loud up there at the front every Sunday. We were told that if you weren’t singing loudly, God couldn’t hear you. Choir was great practice for being in theater. I learned how to project to the back pews. And you have to be on time and church-ready by the first church service! All those little old ladies are waiting.
I had such a positive, accepting religious upbringing. Our church was traditional but progressive at the same time. The parish and ministry were both diverse. We learned that Christianity is about making people feel welcome and reserving judgment of them. The church for me has always been a safe place to learn about doing work for others, being respectful, and being part of a community. In Nashville, you’d go to church on Sunday, and then you’d see the same folks on Monday at work or school or the grocery store. Small-town living has its upsides.
So, naturally, I love a church wedding. But I also think it’s nice if festivities take place outside. It’s so great to enjoy the beauty of being in nature at this important moment in your life, letting nature set the mood. Even a little rain can be so beautiful (and I like the superstition that it’s good luck!).
This is my childhood church. Isn’t it glorious?
How beautiful was my mother on her wedding day?
At southern weddings, there are always a lot of bridesmaids. Let me tell you why I think that is: people are so darn polite in the South, and they don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.
But it’s also because you want the maximum number of people standing around you, helping you make this huge commitment. The people you invite to your wedding are the people who are supposed to guard your vows of marriage and help you enjoy the good times and make it through the bad times. You know, there are ups and downs in everybody’s marriage. No one can escape that. And beware of anyone who goes on and on about their “perfect” marriage. It’s usually not the full truth. The friends you invite to your wedding are supposed to be there for you both, so you need to be very thoughtful about how you pick them.
A piece of advice: Do not let anyone pressure you into having random people at your wedding. It’s such an intensely personal and private moment, you know? And those are the people you’re going to be telling your hopes and dreams to; it’s not about getting another blender or letting some great-aunt show you off. It’s about real vulnerability, and you are the ones who get to choose who gets to see that vulnerability. But, most importantly, it’s a party!
When it comes to the food, I always love it when there’s both a groom’s cake and a bride’s cake. Usually, the bride’s is a traditional white cake and the groom’s is a chocolate cake. Both are important, because variety is the spice of life.
And of course the most important thing at any wedding is the music. People must dance—early and often, and with the maximum number of people on the dance floor. At my wedding, my husband’s friends very sweetly danced with all the older ladies. My mom had the time of her life, and so did my husband’s mom. Always find a cute, game friend who will make it his job to keep all the old ladies happy by dancing with them. You get a lot of points in my book for being the guy who dances with grannies.
I’ve seen a trend toward kid-free weddings, and I have to say, it’s not ideal in my book. I think going to weddings is an important way to show children what marriage means, what community means, and what commitment is all about. If they don’t get to see the ritual enacted, how are they going to learn? Children need to understand that people stand up for each other, that they care for each other, that they care for their families, and that when they’re in love they want to bring their families together in celebration. I also feel that having kids around keeps us mindful of what a wedding is about: it’s a family occasion, not a fashion show.
And now let’s get real: I’ve had two weddings. The first time I got married, it was at a gorgeous old farm property in Charleston with giant moss-covered oak trees. Charleston is one of the most magical places in our country; it’s no wonder so many people get married there. The second time, I got married at my own house, which was a beautiful working farm, with chickens, dogs, and goats running around. (Yes, I had a farm for a while, before I realized how hard it is to have a farm. I sold it to people who wanted to be full-time farmers. I miss the chickens, but it’s better for everyone this way.)
So there I was in one of the rooms of my farmhouse getting dressed, and my best friend since college, Heather, grabbed my hands. I braced for a pep talk.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“Are you excited?” she said.
“Yes,” I said and smiled.
“Good,” she said, “because you only get married for the second time once.”
I burst out laughing. But my eyes teared up, too. Because it was true! Life isn’t about perfection. There is no rule book. Life has many different chapters, and every chapter deserves celebrating.
That point was driven home again moments later, when I went to stand up and leave the room to head to the ceremony. I’d been sitting on a bed in my dress for some time, with my bridesmaids and flower girls and other close family members around me. We were all talking away. Then, when the time came, I began to stand up . . . and found I was rooted to the bed by my veil. I looked back and saw several little children sitting on my veil, eating crackers. Crumbs everywhere! Heather and I cracked up. Let’s face it, folks—life is not a perfect tableau. So just brush off the crumbs and get the show on the road.
And you know what? That wedding day was one of the most beautiful, joyful days of my life, but of all the glorious moments—from my future husband, Jim, standing there with our pastor waiting for me to the sight of so many people I love dancing together—for pure joy, it’s hard to beat the memory of Heather making me laugh out loud or that image of those precious little boys and girls sitting on my veil, happily snacking away in a field of white tulle.
Baby Showers
Baby showers are just so fun—especially, I think, for those of us who have been mothers for a while. We get to share stories from the trenches, and we get to marvel at how impossibly small and precious baby socks are. Heather made a homemade cake for my last baby shower, and it was gorgeous: three layers of white cake layered with whipped cream, with fresh flowers on the top.
Not everyone loves shower games, but I can’t get enough of them. I especially like games that involve all the generations. I’m partial to guessing people’s pregnancy cravings, and I love a big gender reveal, like when you cut the cake and the icing inside is either pink or blue. Whoever invented that is a genius.
One of the things we did for a girlfriend of mine was that each of us had to bring a piece of fabric for the baby that meant something to us. We told the story of what it meant, and then all the pieces of fabric were sewed into a quilt for the baby. Now her daughter has this gorgeous keepsake filled with lo
ve forever. How special!
MENU
pre-gaming a gala
* * *
This menu is straight-up from my mom. My parents went to a lot of cultural events in Nashville, especially for the Nashville Symphony, and when they did they would have friends over first for drinks. It was win-win for me. They’d serve tasty hors d’oeuvres, and I’d get to admire the ladies’ dresses. I always longed to go out with them, but I was too young, so my brother, John, and I would stay home playing Boggle and eating all the leftover snacks. Now, I get dressed up and go to fancy parties, too, but I always make sure we have these snacks before we go!
* * *
Confetti Betty’s Champagne and Ginger Ale Cocktail
Smoked Pecans
Crab Puffs
SERVES 8
Confetti Betty’s Champagne and Ginger Ale Cocktail
* * *
My mom has become known as “Confetti Betty” by my friends and family because she figured out how to use the animated confetti effect when she sends text messages. Ah, Technolady! If anyone needs a tech-savvy grandma, I have one. Look out, Silicon Valley!
* * *
1 (750 ml) bottle Champagne or Prosecco
24 ounces chilled ginger ale
Candied ginger for garnish (optional)
* * *
Combine the Champagne or Prosecco and the ginger ale in a punch bowl or large pitcher. Stir lightly to combine. Ladle or pour into champagne glasses and drop in a piece of candied ginger, if desired, to serve.
MAKES ABOUT 4 CUPS
Smoked Pecans
* * *
These pecans get their smoky flavor from both a splash of liquid smoke and a dash of Spanish paprika.
* * *
4 cups pecan halves
1/4 cup liquid smoke BBQ sauce
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika
* * *
1. Preheat the oven to 300°F.
2. Place the pecan halves in a large bowl. Whisk together the liquid smoke, water, salt, and smoked paprika and pour over the pecans. Let sit for 1 hour to allow the pecans to soak up the liquid.
3. Drain the nuts of any excess liquid. Spread in a single layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes, until dried out and toasted.
MAKES ABOUT 2 DOZEN
Crab Puffs
* * *
These retro bites are downright addictive and are always the first thing to go at any party. They can be made ahead and refrigerated or frozen and reheated. Plus it’s fun to say, “Would you like a crab puff?”
* * *
6 ounces crab claw meat
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup milk
1/4 pound (1 stick) butter
3 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded Gruyère cheese
2 tablespoons minced chives
* * *
1. Preheat the oven to 400°F.
2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
3. Pick over the crab meat, removing any bits of cartilage or shell.
4. In a medium saucepan, bring the water, milk, butter, Dijon mustard, salt, and cayenne pepper to a boil over high heat. With a wooden spoon, stir in the flour until a dough forms. Reduce the heat to low and continue to beat with the wooden spoon until the dough pulls away from the sides of the pan. Remove the pan from the heat and set aside for 2 minutes.
5. Beat in the eggs one at a time until incorporated after each addition. Stir in the cheese, crab meat, and chives. Drop rounded tablespoons of dough about 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until puffy and golden brown. Let cool on a wire rack for a few minutes before serving, or cool completely and refrigerate to serve later. (Reheat at 350°F for 8 to 10 minutes.)
Kentucky Derby
Dad used to drive us to Louisville, Kentucky, to see the Kentucky Derby when we were kids. It was so close to Nashville. Just a three-hour drive. He would give us money to bet on one horse, so we were very invested for the two hours it took for the race to begin.
Now I have Derby parties at my home, because who doesn’t want to get dressed up, drink mint juleps, eat Derby Pie, and wear a fun, giant hat?
Here are some of my favorite Derby party recipes, courtesy of my friend Annie Campbell.
MENU
kentucky derby party
* * *
The main thing at a Derby party is the classic drink: a mint julep in a silver cup. This can be supplemented with some snacks like deviled eggs and hot brown bites. Don’t forget a Derby Pie to eat once the race is over so everyone can celebrate their betting victories or recover from their favorite horse’s defeat!
* * *
Mint Juleps
Paprika-Dusted Deviled Eggs
Kentucky Hot Brown Bites
Chocolate Derby Pecan Pie
MAKES 12
Mint Juleps
From the kitchen of Annie Campbell
* * *
FOR THE SIMPLE SYRUP
1 cup sugar
1 cup distilled water
FOR THE MINT JULEP
2 bunches fresh spearmint
4 cups bourbon
Powdered sugar for garnish
* * *
TO MAKE THE SIMPLE SYRUP
Mix the sugar and water in a small saucepan. Heat to dissolve the sugar. Stir constantly so the sugar does not burn. Set aside to cool.
TO MAKE THE MINT EXTRACT
Wash about 40 small or 20 big mint leaves. Place in a small bowl. Cover with 3 ounces bourbon. Soak for 15 minutes. Then gather the leaves in paper towels. Wring the mint over the bowl of bourbon. Repeat the process several times.
TO MAKE THE MINT JULEP
1. Pour 31/2 cups of bourbon into a large glass bowl or glass pitcher. Add 1 cup of simple syrup to the bourbon. Now add the mint extract 1 tablespoon at a time to the mixture until it tastes as you’d like it to (3 tablespoons is usually about right). Pour the whole mixture back into a bottle or pitcher and refrigerate it for at least 24 hours.
2. To serve the julep, fill each glass (ideally a silver mint julep cup) half full with shaved ice. Insert a spring of mint and then more ice until the ices sits about 1 inch over the top of the cup. Then insert a straw (it’s best if you cut the straw to 1 inch above the top of the cup). Pour the refrigerated julep mixture over the ice. Add a sprinkle of powdered sugar to the top of the ice.
MAKES 24
Paprika-Dusted Deviled Eggs
From the kitchen of Annie Campbell
* * *
1 dozen large eggs
1/4 cup good mayonnaise, such as Hellman’s or Best Foods
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon hot sauce
Hot paprika
* * *
1. Fill a large mixing bowl with lots of ice and water and set aside.
2. Bring a large stockpot filled with about 4 inches of water to a rolling boil. Using a slotted spoon, carefully lower the eggs into the boiling water. After 14 minutes, transfer to the ice bath with the slotted spoon. When completely cool, drain and carefully peel off the shells, taking care not to tear the egg whites. Rinse off any bits of shell and pat dry.
3. Slice the eggs in half lengthwise and remove the yolks, placing them in a medium bowl with the mayonnaise, mustard, salt, and hot sauce. Mash with a fork until smooth. Spoon the yolk mixture back into the egg halves (or pipe the yolk mixture into the cavity of each white). Garnish each half with a dusting of paprika. Serve in a deviled egg dish.
MAKES 2 DOZEN
Kentucky Hot Brown Bites
From the kitchen of Annie Campbell
* * *
Cooking spray
11/2 (5 oz.) containers finely shredded Parmesan cheese
&nb
sp; 12/3 cups milk
1/4 cup butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 ounces medium cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1/4 cup)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
4 ounces thinly sliced deli turkey cut into 2-inch squares
4 cooked bacon slices, crumbled
1/2 cup diced fresh tomato
Fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves for garnish
* * *
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. Line 2 baking sheets with aluminum foil and lightly coat with cooking spray. Spoon the Parmesan cheese by tablespoons 1/2 inch apart onto prepared baking sheets, forming 12 (21/2-inch) rounds on each sheet.
3. Bake 1 sheet at 350°F for 7 to 9 minutes or until the edges of the mounds are lightly browned and beginning to set. Working quickly, transfer the cheese rounds to a lightly greased (with cooking spray) 24-cup miniature muffin pan, pressing gently into each cup to form shells. Repeat the procedure with the second baking sheet.
Whiskey in a Teacup Page 7