Do-Gooding
One thing the South does really well is community. I think it’s because we link charity and giving back with two other things we do well: cooking and entertaining. A fund raiser is a great reason to get dressed up, go out with friends, and enjoy good food. Giving back is woven into the fabric of life.
At the high school that my dad, my uncle, and my brother attended, they have a spaghetti potluck dinner every November. All the families get together and cook pasta. Either you bring the spaghetti or you bring the corn bread or you bring the spaghetti sauce or the sides. It’s the hugest potluck you’ve ever seen, and it’s all a big benefit for the school. It’s something we all looked forward to.
My grandfather Jimmy taught me so much about belonging to charity organizations and taking care of other people. He personally funded scholarships for nurses. He gave his time to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America and served in Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, too. He participated in pretty much every community group there was, from the American Legion to March of Dimes.
At Christmastime, he would have me and my brother help him deliver food and toys to families that were struggling. My grandfather had an innate need to do good for others all the time. He taught me that if you come across someone in need, you get out your wallet, reach in, pull out whatever’s there, and give it to the person who needs it more than you. He always lived by the motto that charity starts at home, in your neighborhood. On a regular basis, he would go into his garden and bag up great bunches of vegetables for the local food bank.
I’ve tried to follow his example. When I launched Draper James, I insisted that we give back to the community. We partnered with a group called Girls, Inc. to create after-school programs for girls in every area where there’s a Draper James store. Girls, Inc. is one of the United States’ oldest charities. Its members help girls learn basic, essential skills, such as social media best practices and financial literacy. In my experience, girls don’t talk enough about money. They should! It’s a huge part of your life. You need to know how to manage your money and feel empowered by it, not scared of it. Another thing that I really want my kids, as well as the after-school girls, to learn is that it’s so important to reach out when you need help and to be there to help others when you’re strong.
If you live in a southern community and your family is going through an important life event, whether a birth or death or move, your neighbors are liable to show up on your doorstep offering warm words and usually something in a Pyrex dish. I think it means so much when people have a brand-new baby and you go to their house to hold the baby for a little while so they can shower or nap and then you leave them something like a bottle of wine and a bunch of great takeout and a present. Similarly, when your friends move to a new house, it means so much to show up and give them something to help them get settled. Or when they’re going through a transition or a divorce or a loss, you have to go. You have to be there for them however you can.
My husband’s father died when my husband was thirty-nine, so I ask him for advice whenever I’m not sure how to handle a friend’s loss. I always talk to him about how to write condolence letters and whether or not to call the person’s family.
Jim always says, “Just make the call. Even if you don’t know what to say, just pick up the phone and make the call.”
Whenever I hear that someone’s died, I always think about him saying that, and I just dial.
It’s an excellent rule of thumb: Just write the letter. Do it promptly. Say something about the person that was meaningful to you, something specific that would be a nice memory for the recipient.
Yes, it’s so hard to know what to say. I once read a book about how to have difficult conversations, and the most important thing that I learned from it was that you don’t have to say something extremely profound or absolutely perfect. The important thing is that you show you care. You can admit that you really don’t know what to write. That’s fine. You are showing that you care, and that’s what’s important.
Also, and this is particular to me, I never send flowers. I don’t send flowers because they wilt, and they remind you of loss and sadness. Instead, I take food, because it’s practical. You can eat it, and then it’s gone. At such times, there are always people around whom the family have to feed. I usually take a casserole, lasagna, or macaroni and cheese, all of which you can freeze to use later. Best of all is my chicken pot pie casserole, which is just a big hug. You can make this the traditional way, with bread crumbs on top, or sometimes I use frozen puff pastry topping to give it something extra.
SERVES 6 TO 8
Reese’s Chicken Pot Pie Casserole
* * *
2 eggs
2 cups frozen shredded hash browns
2 teaspoons salt, divided
2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper, divided
1 tablespoon vegetable or olive oil
1 cup onion, chopped
1 cup carrots, diced
1 cup celery, diced
1 cup frozen peas
1 cup cooked chicken, diced
1 (10.75 oz.) can cream of mushroom soup
1 sheet frozen puff pastry
* * *
1. Preheat the oven to 400°F.
2. Spray a 9-inch square casserole dish with cooking oil or rub with softened butter. In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs and add the frozen shredded hash browns and 1 teaspoon of the salt and pepper, tossing to coat the potatoes with egg. Press the hash brown mixture into the bottom of the prepared dish and bake for 15 minutes.
3. In a skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat and sauté the onions, carrots, and celery for about 3 minutes until they just begin to soften. Remove from heat and stir in the frozen peas.
4. In a large mixing bowl, combine the chicken, vegetables, remaining teaspoon of salt and pepper, and cream of mushroom soup. Pour some water (about 1/4 cup) into the empty soup can and swirl to get any remaining soup out, and pour the water into the chicken and vegetable mixture. Mix together well and pour on top of the cooked hash browns.
5. Unfold the puff pastry sheet and place over the top of the casserole. Bake about 35 minutes, until the casserole is bubbly and the top becomes puffy and brown.
EPILOGUE
The New South
So let’s all move to the South! Today there are more building cranes in Nashville, Tennessee, than in New York City. All over town, you can see constant construction, new restaurants opening, and great people moving in. It’s no surprise, really. Even with all the new buildings, there’s a lot of wide-open green space for kids and dogs. And the city epitomizes southern hospitality.
What I love most about my part of the South today, though, is that although it retains its old glamour, it’s becoming ever more open and creative and welcoming to all. There’s a glorious mix of tradition and progress. Young people born in the South are going off to other parts of the country for college and then returning to Nashville with new ideas about food, about art, about culture, and helping the South grow into a new, thriving community of forward thinkers. You still have Steeplechase and hot rollers. But now you also have Bikram yoga, organic farming, and tech start-ups. And people are much more aware of one another and the big world they’re a part of.
And, if you can believe it, the music just keeps getting better. Rock stars, indie bands, pop stars, and country artists continue to make Nashville the number one city in the country for music lovers. More than ever, there’s an openness about collaboration—an artists’ culture. Nashville has changed because the world is evolving. Music is about sharing the joy of life with the world—the whole world.
You know I’m a southern girl because fans come up to me and say things like “I know just from hearing you talk that we’d be best friends!”
They’re probably right! For me, there are no strangers. Like my mom, these days I can talk to anyone about anything for hours.
But as I think you’ve seen in this book, the South is about more than manners an
d hosting. It’s also about rowdy backyard parties and the kids running around the lawn in their pajamas on Easter morning and a bunch of gals drinking wine on the porch, laughing loudly and telling secrets. The South is about hospitality in the oldest sense. People there really enjoy meeting new people and making them feel at home, making them feel seen and heard and appreciated. The South is about enjoying this one life you’ve got.
Fortunately, that feeling is something you can re-create anywhere. I hope that everything in this book is something you can use, no matter the size of your home or budget. Wherever it is, I believe any home can be the coziest place on Earth.
If you think I sound proud of where I’m from, you’re right. When it comes to the quality of our cooking and our parties, we southerners have trouble with modesty. We are proud of our heritage, our traditions, and—more than anything—whatever brings our families together around a table. I’m so honored that I could share a little piece of my southern background, my grandmother’s recipes, and my most cherished family traditions with you! Y’all come back and visit sometime, ya hear?
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Trish Todd—a fellow Nashville girl who grew up with spiced tea, Steeplechase, and trips to Cheekwood—who had the idea for this book. You made me remember sweet memories long forgotten. And thanks to everyone at Touchstone, including Susan Moldow, Carolyn Reidy, Brian Belfiglio, Jessica Roth, Meredith Vilarello, Kelsey Manning, and Kaitlin Olson.
Thank you to Cait Hoyt for being my ultimate cheerleader and advocate. You helped me see the light when I almost gave up . . . many times! To Maha Dakhil, who never lets me drop the baton; and Meredith O’Sullivan, who makes sure I’m always connecting with the people who matter most: my fans.
And to my fans: How can I ever say thank you enough—for watching my movies, supporting my producing career, and now reading this book. I have the nicest, most positive fans in the world. If you even knew how much I think about you! I swear, I wake up thinking, What do my fans want to see right now? Please keep telling me. Whenever I meet you or hear from you, you give me strength to continue on this journey.
Thank you to Ada Calhoun—the master interpreter, the avid listener, the caretaker of my story. I will be forever grateful to you for learning how to understand my southern pride and my Tennessee accent.
Thank you to all the kind people who opened their homes to me for this book, including the Betherum, Stevens, and Caldwell families. I am so moved by your generosity and your southern hospitality.
A huge hug and thank-you to Hillary Franchi, who is a master producer—wearing every hat, keeping the ship on course, never complaining, and always encouraging me to see the big picture . . . You are one heck of a hardworking woman, without whom I could not be the woman I am today. It should also be noted that you are always down for a large glass of wine at the end of a hard day, and that is why we are friends.
To the dedicated soul who is the architect of my life, Rachel Bati, my oldest, dearest friend. There are not enough words to express my gratitude for the love and care you have brought to my personal life and my career for over twenty-five years. We have seen it all. I hope you know how much I love you.
Thank you to Beatrice, Adele, Miriam, Mayra, and Hilda for taking care of me and my family as though it were your own. You make the trains run on time, always find the soccer jersey, and get the chicken fingers onto the table. I will be forever grateful for the love you bring into my home.
Speaking of expertise, thank you to Paul Costello for finding the light, being my kindest collaborator, always seeing my vision, and raising the bar. Your artistry and second-to-none crew (hi, Alex, Zach, and Brent!) made this book possible.
Thanks to creative director Jenny Davis for her incredible vision and enthusiasm, and for making sure the angles were right and the sweet tea was sparkling. And the award for Bringing the Style goes to Colson Horton, for finding the beauty and the charm in every corner of the frame. Your love of thrift shopping finally paid off big-time!
I can’t thank my beauty committee enough: Molly, Lona, Kelsey, Davey, Mai, Thuy, Derek. You brought the lashes, the lipstick, and the big hair like no others. I have the best team ever. Special shout-out to Tori, who hauled, steamed, and styled more clothes than a department store at Christmas. You are a superstar.
To food stylists Annie Campbell and Angie Mosier, who made all my grandma’s recipes come alive. You reminded me that food is love—and that chili pie should be made more often.
To Heather, Jennie, Shannon, Ashley, Jenny, Mary Alice, Candace, Kate, and Laura, for being the sisters I never had. You have always been my true-blue besties, and nothing is better than sisterhood . . . well, maybe nachos. And margaritas. Thank you for always bringing the nachos, the margaritas, and the sisterhood.
To my nieces Abby James and Draper—thank you for missing school and dance recitals and Saturday activities to help with this book. Your sweet smiles light up my life.
To my brother, who called childhood friends and old stomping grounds to ask if we could visit again. You have always been my caretaker and my rock. Even if you fed me too many Hot Pockets as a kid, I forgive you. I love you to the moon and back, Brother John.
To my mom, who endured many photo sessions and interviews to make this book possible. Your joy and optimism have carried me through life. You are my greatest inspiration as a woman who lives every moment to the fullest, sees beauty and humor everywhere, and knows the importance of a good nap every day at four o’clock.
To my dad, for creating a living history for our family. Your love of our family history has always given me great pride in our humble beginnings. Thank you for always inspiring me to learn something new every day and to do more for others. A life of service is truly the best life.
To my grandmother Dorothea, for teaching me how to fry chicken and anything else that wasn’t moving, to read great literature with passion, to dress for success, and to never wear workout clothes past ten in the morning.
To my granddad Jimmy, thank you for teaching me to love a backyard garden, to feed my neighbors and their dogs, and to always remember “to whom much is given, much is expected.”
To my husband, Jim. I do not know how I got so lucky as to find a man like you. Your love and encouragement made this all possible. The way you hold my dreams in your heart has shown me that true love and real partnership are possible. On our first date, I told you the woman I wanted to be, and your endless support of me has helped me become that woman. As Pup said, “I take care of you, you take care of me, we take care of each other.”
To Ava, Deacon, and Tennessee: Everything I do in this world is for you. You are the most wonderful children a mother could hope for. I hope you always remember where you came from and never forget to pay everything forward. That’s what my family taught me, and it has been the greatest guiding principle in my life. I hope you sing loudly at church, always dance at weddings, and whenever you hear “Sweet Home Alabama,” I hope you smile.
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Recipe Index
Annie’s Pie Crust
Applesauce Cake
Asparagus with Mock Hollandaise Sauce
Baked Brie
Baked Ham
Braised Collard Greens in Smoky Ham Hock Broth
Brother John’s Ribs
Cheddar Biscuits
Cheese Wafers
Chocolate Derby Pecan Pie
Confetti Betty’s Champagne and Ginger Ale Cocktail
Corn Bread “Hoe Cakes”
Cowboy Cookies
Crab Puffs
Crudités with Garden Green Goddess Dip
Dorothea’s Brined-and-Battered Fried Chicken
Dorothea’s Corn Salad
Dorothea’s Sun Tea
Dorothea’s Tea Punch
Easter Rolls
Finger Sandwiches
Fried Okra
Frozen Fruit Salad
Heather’s Layer Cake
Hoppin’ John
Hot Spinach–Artichoke Dip
John’s BBQ Sauce
Kentucky Hot Brown Bites
Lemonade-Stand Lemonade
Mama’s Biscuits
Mile-High Lemon Meringue Pie
Mint Juleps
The Mockingbird: Sorghum Old-Fashioned Cocktail
Mud Pie Trifle
Paprika-Dusted Deviled Eggs
Pecan-Crusted Chicken Skewers
Pulled Pork Sliders with Bourbon BBQ Sauce and Pickled Red Onions
Reese’s Chicken Pot Pie Casserole
Reese’s Corn Bread Chili Pie
Refresher Cocktail Two Ways
Sautéed Baby Kale
Shrimp and Grits
Smoked Pecans
Strawberry Fields Salad
Summer Squash Casserole
Sweet Potato Casserole with Candied Pecan Crust
Tutti-Frutti Ice Cream
Vegetable Plate-in-a-Jar
Metric Conversion Charts
DRY INGREDIENTS
1 CUP EQUIVALENT (G)
Bell pepper (chopped)
175
Bread crumbs
120
Butter
225
Cake crumbs
75
Cereal
20
Cheddar (grated)
Whiskey in a Teacup Page 15