by Elks, Carrie
Maddie. The mention of her name was enough for his grip to tighten on his glass.
“You planning on doing any work this morning?” His dad’s voice cut through Gray’s thoughts.
“Yeah. Once breakfast is over, I’ll get changed and cut the water off.”
“Better hurry, then,” his dad said, pointing at the uneaten toast in front of him. “I’ll help you with it today.”
“You’re sick,” Gray pointed out. “You should be resting.”
“I’m feeling a little better. And I’ll just sit and watch. Make sure you’re doing it correctly.”
“I am doing it correctly.” Gray tried not to show his irritation.
“Oh let him help. It’ll be good for the two of you to spend some time together. This afternoon your father can rest.” Aunt Gina smiled at him.
“I don’t need rest,” his dad grumbled.
Yeah, well Gray didn’t need his supervision, but it looked like none of them were getting what they wanted today.
* * *
“You want another?” Sam asked as Gray leaned on the counter of the Moonlight Bar eight hours later. Gray nodded and Sam filled his glass with another shot of whiskey. His third, which felt restrained considering the day Gray’d had.
Nothing was good enough for his father. He should have known that by now. But being told he needed to rip out everything he’d done so far and start again was bad, even for him. It had led to a full-blown fight, followed by a huge coughing fit before a teary Aunt Gina had shot him a look and made his father go back to bed.
So much for family bonding.
“You still sore about losing the Karaoke competition?” Sam asked with a grin. The bar was practically empty, but Gray still kept his cap pulled down low and sat in the shadows at the far end. More because he was pissed than because he was worried about being spotted.
He swallowed a mouthful of whiskey, the warm liquid searing the back of his throat in such a pleasurable way. He wasn’t drunk – unlike Tanner, it took more than a few drinks to get him that way – but he was more relaxed than he’d felt in days.
“I’m not sore about losing,” Gray said as he put down his empty glass. He shook his head when Sam lifted the bottle again. “I just needed a quiet place to sit.”
Sam cocked an eyebrow. “It’s funny, because that’s where your old man used to sit back in the day. I was just a kid then. But I remember pouring him out whiskies while he lurked right there.”
Gray frowned. “My dad used to come here?”
“Yup. Regular as clockwork. I felt kind of sorry for him. His wife gone, and five kids to feed and clothe. It’s tough on any man to have to handle that.” Sam poured himself a glass and leaned on the counter. “Everybody thought he’d get remarried real quick. There was even talk of him marrying your Aunt Gina, but that went nowhere.”
Gray could remember wishing they would get married, even though there was never anything more than friendship between his dad and his mom’s sister. He’d been afraid of losing her the way they’d lost their mom. Scared that she’d get sick of taking care of them and leave them alone with their dad.
But she always stayed, and he was grateful for that.
“Maybe he should’ve gotten remarried,” Gray muttered into his empty glass.
“Sometimes you only get one chance at love,” Sam said, shrugging. “Maybe your mom was his soul mate. What’s the point in trying to replace the irreplaceable?”
“You really believe that?” Gray asked him. “That there’s only one soul mate out there for each of us?”
“I don’t know.” Sam leaned his chin into the vee of his thumb and forefinger. “But maybe your dad did. I’ve never seen a man so lost. To be honest, it scared me to death. Maybe that’s why I stayed single.” He chuckled. “You see a lot of heartbreak in this job.”
Gray tried to picture his father sitting here as a younger man. He could barely remember a time before his mom died, and couldn’t remember what his father had been like then. His memories were full of the anger, the arguments, and the fire that rose up in his stomach every time he and his father clashed.
“One thing that your dad didn’t do when your mom died was leave. For a while I wondered if he might. I see that a lot, too. Guys who abandon their families and walk away.” Sam pressed his lips together. “I hate that.”
“I know a bit about walking away,” Gray said, holding his glass up for one last whiskey. It had done its job. Soothed away the pain and doused the fire. He didn’t need it to do any more than that. He’d drink this last glass and head home. And maybe be a little thankful that he wasn’t a widowed man with five children depending on him.
A man who’d had love and lost it.
Gray wondered what it was like to have a love to lose.
* * *
You’ve been invited to the Ansell Class of 2015 Reunion Group.
Maddie clicked on the little notification, her stomach lurching as it took her to the group Sarah had messaged her about. At the top was the option to join, along with a little note stating she was in preview mode, able to read any posts in the group, but unable to comment on them unless she joined.
She felt her throat get tight as she scrolled down. There were over fifty members already. And a whole list of posts from them, thanking Sarah for creating the group, updating everybody on their lives.
Some of them were playing in Symphony orchestras, traveling the US. Others were working for music publishers, or teaching music at a college level to new students. She recognized a couple of them who were now working in Hollywood in the movie industry, composing scores.
Not one of them seemed to be working in a diner, or teaching music to the local youth.
She tried to ignore the little voice in her head telling her she was a disappointment. That if only she’d stayed at Ansell she’d be one of them. All those hopes and dreams she’d had when she’d opened her acceptance letter came flooding back.
Once upon a time she’d really believed she could be someone.
With a swipe of her hand, she closed down Facebook. It was just a stupid reunion. She wouldn’t be going. Her life was here, in Hartson’s Creek, and for the most part it was a happy one.
She wasn’t going to dwell on what could have been. That would be madness.
* * *
Tap, tap.
Maddie blinked at the noise, looking around the room. It was late, almost eleven, and she was thinking about turning off her light. It had been a long day of teaching.
Then there was a knock. Louder, surer. Maddie frowned and stared at the closed curtains across her window. Sometimes birds would walk along the ledge and tap their beaks on the glass, but not at this time of night. She swallowed hard and walked over to the window, her pulse racing, as she curled her fingers around the thick cotton curtain.
Oh so slowly she lifted it, just enough to be able to peek through. On the other side, a hand lifted again, knuckles connecting with the glass, making her jump.
“Gray?”
She yanked the curtain and unlatched the window, pushing it open. It really was him. Gray Hartson in the flesh, staring in at her with the strangest expression on his face.
“I hoped this was still your room,” Gray said, a half–smile curling his lips. “I didn’t want to knock on the front door in case your mom was asleep.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked him.
His eyes were soft. Was that whiskey she could smell on his breath? It was warm and spicy and made her want to step closer.
“Yeah. I just wanted to see you. Tell you I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
Gray pulled his cap off, using his other hand to rake his fingers through his hair. It fell in a perfect messy style over his brow. “For being an asshole the other night. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“You could have told me that while it was light,” she teased.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah, I coulda. I probably should have. But
I’m here now.”
“Have you been drinking?” she asked him.
“Just a little.” He shrugged. “I had a bad day and needed to take the edge off.”
“I know the feeling.” She thought about the two bottles of beer she’d drunk that evening.
He nodded. “So that was it, really. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He grinned at her again. “And I am. Good night, Maddie.”
Was he leaving? She tried to swallow down the disappointment. It wasn’t as though she wanted him to try to kiss her again. It was good that he hadn’t. Even if he was soft and warm and a little drunk.
“Good night,” she whispered. She stood at the window and watched as he started to walk back up the path. Then he turned on his heel to face her again, his body wobbling.
“Oh and Maddie?”
“Yeah?”
“What you said that night about nobody seeing you? You were wrong. I see you. I’ve always fucking seen you.” The corner of his mouth lifted up, as he took the few steps back toward her. “You’re impossible to miss.”
Her chest tightened at his words. “You see me?” she asked softly.
“Yep. Every single glorious inch of you. I hear you, too. Even when I’ve got my eyes closed and I’m trying to sleep. You’re everywhere and I’ve no idea what to do with that.”
She was finding it hard to breathe. She wanted to, she really did. But every time she tried the air caught in her throat.
“It’s crazy, right?” he asked, that smile still on his lips. “You’re Maddie Clark. Ashleigh’s sister. I keep trying to remind myself of that. But the heart wants what the heart fucking wants, Maddie. I should know that. I’ve sung about it enough times. I never really believed it though.” He shook his head and laughed. “I’m sorry, you must think I’m fucking crazy.”
“I think you’re swearing a lot,” she said, smiling.
“Blame the whiskey.”
“So it’s the drink talking for you?” she asked him, a twinkle in her eye. “Okay then, good night.” She went to close the window.
Before she could, he pushed it open further and leaned in, staring right at her. “Don’t go.”
“I wasn’t the one going,” she told him. “This is my bedroom. I’m planning on staying right here.”
He smiled goofily.
“Maybe you need to go to bed, too,” she suggested. “You’re drunk. You should probably sleep it off.”
“You know what?” he said, completely ignoring her suggestion. “We should kiss. Just once. See if there’s something there.” He shook his head. “Who am I kidding. Of course there’s something there.”
“Is there?” she asked softly.
“Isn’t there?”
Yeah, there was. And the thought that he felt it too made her whole body feel on fire. Like one of those little lightning bugs they watched together, she could feel herself start to glow.
“You want to kiss me?” she asked, just to be sure she was hearing him right.
“Yeah. I really think we should. Get it over with.”
God, he was cute when he was drunk. “Here? Through the window?”
He looked at her with dark eyes. “Nah. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet.”
“He had to climb up to her balcony. I live in a bungalow.”
“It’s a damn good thing I don’t have to climb. I’d probably break my neck.”
She grinned at him. “So where do you want to kiss me?”
“On the lips.” He winked.
Talking to Gray was like foreplay. It made her body ache.
“I’m kidding,” he said, leaning in through the window. “Come out here and let me take you somewhere. First kisses shouldn’t be through windows. Not if you’re over the age of fifteen.”
“Where do you want to go?”
He was close enough to reach out and touch her. He threaded his fingers through her long thick hair. His touch made her shiver. Her body was pressed against the sill, a thin barrier of bricks between them. She wanted to pull them down one by one to get closer to him.
“If we were in L.A., I’d drive you down to a little beach just past Malibu. We’d park and take our shoes off and paddle in the waves. Then I’d turn you just right until the moon caught your face. And I’d look at you until I couldn’t take it any more. Maybe you’d laugh a little because I’d have this stupid damn expression on my face because I wouldn’t want to mess up this kiss.”
She tried not to swoon at his description. “Then what would you do?”
“I’d twist my fingers through your hair like this,” he murmured, sliding his hand to the back of her head. The window sill dug into her hips. “I’d need to tip your head up because you’re so damn short and I’m so damn tall.”
“That’s rude.”
He winked again. “And then I’d tell you how goddamn beautiful you are. How I can’t get you out of my mind. How every night I think of the way your hips swing when you walk, and how one of your eyes closes a little whenever you smile. And how your voice is so damn sweet it makes me want to drag you to bed until I make you sing out with pleasure.”
“And all this before we’ve even kissed?” she asked, a little breathless.
“I like to do things properly.”
She tilted her head. “Well, it’s a six hour flight from here to L.A.. Another couple for boarding and landing. Add in the drive to Malibu and we’re looking at ten hours. One way.” She glanced at her watch. “And my shift starts at six in the morning. I don’t think we’re going to make it.”
“Come out here, Maddie Clark.” He reached for her hand, sliding her finger through his. “I know you can climb. I’ve seen you.”
“And then what?”
“Then I’ll work out where I’m going to kiss you.”
She shook her head. “You’re crazy. You know that?”
“Yep.”
“And drunk.”
“Just a couple drinks.” He held up four fingers.
“And you broke my sister’s heart,” she reminded him.
“What’s her name again?”
“Gray!” She couldn’t help but laugh, because it really was crazy. But maybe she needed a little crazy in her life. God knows, her body thought so.
“Come on. Get out here.” He tugged at her hand.
“I need to get some shoes.” She turned to look at her closet.
He pulled her back. “I’ll carry you.”
“Gray…”
“Seriously. If I let you go grab some shoes you might change your mind. Then we’ll have to have this discussion all over again. And I want my kiss, Maddie. I really, really want it.”
Damn it, she really wanted it, too.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled her hand away and grabbed the window frame, then climbed through it with her socked feet. He helped lift her through, his warm, strong hands circling her waist. Her breath hitched at the contact.
“Put your feet on mine,” he whispered, pulling her close. “That way your socks won’t get dirty.”
“That might be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Stick with me, babe. I’ll keep your soles clean and make your soul dirty.” He frowned. “That would read so much better than it sounds.”
“If it makes you feel any better I got it.”
“Yeah,” he said, brushing a lock of hair from her eyes. “It really does.”
The way he was looking at her made Maddie’s legs shake. It was exactly how he’d described. Like she was entrancing him with her eyes and her voice and the way she swung her hips. It made her ache inside.
“Maddie.”
“Mmm?”
“If you close your eyes will you pretend you’re on a beach in the moonlight?”
“I thought you were going to take me somewhere special,” she said, biting down a smile.
“I am, baby. I am.”
She looked up at him, still standing on the top of his sneakers. It made her a few inches taller than normal, b
ut she still had to tip her head back to meet his gaze.
He shuffled his feet, moving her with him, until the moonlight fell across her face. “There,” he said. “Perfect.”
“What do you see?” she asked him, putting her palms on his chest to steady herself. And also to check out those pecs. Yep, as firm as she thought they would be.
“I see,” he said, kissing the skin on her temple, “a beautiful woman.” He slid his mouth down to her jaw. “One who makes me laugh and want to scream at the same time,” he whispered, kissing his way to the corner of her mouth. “A woman I’m going to kiss, or die trying.”
“By the beach,” she whispered. “After splashing in the waves.”
“Hush. I changed my mind.”
The way his lips lingered at the corner of hers was tantalizing. She held her breath, waiting for the kiss. Needing it. He slid his hand down her back, pulling her even closer against him, and her body arched in response. Just a few sweet words and the briefest of touches and she was on fire. He exhaled and the feeling of his breath against her skin sent a shiver down her spine.
He slid his hand over the swell of her behind and she pressed against him, feeling his desire. Hard and big, and everything her aching body wanted.
“Gray,” she whispered. “You’re driving me crazy.”
His lips curled up against her skin. “The feeling’s mutual.” He pulled his head back and she saw herself reflected in his dark eyes. “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll do more than kiss you.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Yeah. Yeah I would.” He turned around, spinning her with him, and pushed her against the brick frontage, his head dipping to kiss her neck. He slid his hands under her behind and without thinking she circled her legs around his hips, and dear god, pleasure shot through her. Her head tipped back as he kissed his way up her throat, the sensation forcing a moan from her lips.
“Christ. I’m harder than a teenager.”
She let out a laugh as his mouth reached hers once again. “This is the longest wait for a kiss I’ve ever had,” she told him. It was entirely possible her body would succumb before her lips did. He was pressing himself against her in an enticing way. Her toes curled up with delight.