by Anna Samuels
After about half an hour, I heard Nikki call at last, I felt relieved. I hurried over to the bathroom calling ‘coming!’
Inside, Nikki looked relaxed and rosy-cheeked.
‘Hey! You okay?’
‘Yeah, great. Time to get out though! It’s baking in here!’ she grinned.
‘Okay…how shall I, uh…how is it best to help you?’
‘Can you lift under my arms from behind and then I can lever myself up and over the side using my leg as leverage?’
‘Of course,’ I said, walking around behind her. I eased my hands underneath her, trying to ignore my physical reaction to her when my hands touched her skin. ‘Ready?’
‘Yes.’
We lifted together and she was out in one, smooth motion. I passed her a towel and she wrapped it around herself as I turned my back to give her privacy. Then, I passed her crutches over and she made her way out of the room.
‘Do you need any more help?’ I asked, referring to her getting dressed.
‘No, I’ll be fine but thanks. I’m glad we’re doing this as I don’t think I would have managed otherwise.’
‘No worries…it’s been fun already.’
She smiled at me. ‘It sure has.’
I smiled back and then turned to leave her to it.
Ten minutes later, Nikki re-joined me in the lounge.
‘Okay?’ I asked her, looking up.
‘Yeah, fine. Everything is just ten times harder and takes longer with this silly cast!’
‘I’m sure you’ll get used to it soon,’ I said sympathetically.
‘Yes, I’m sure you’re right. It’s my own silly fault anyway!’
‘Accidents happen,’ I reminded her.
‘Yeah,’ she smiled. ‘And it did allow me to meet you…so it’s all good.’
I smiled at her, feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
‘So, Sarah…what’s the plan for the holiday?’ she asked.
‘Well, I want to explore the area-especially the place where my Grandma grew up and used to talk about.’
‘Whereabouts it that?’
‘Over near the beach…she lived in a small fishing village which was by the sea. I’m desperate to go and see it and wander around exploring all the little places which made it home for her.’
‘How lovely!’
‘There’s also some nice places to visit in the area that I have looked at online.’
‘Oh really?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah…you’re welcome to join me on trips out if you feel able to,’ I welcomed.
She smiled at me. ‘I’d love to, Sarah…so long as I’m not intruding on you.’
‘Not at all,’ I replied. ‘In fact, I’m beginning to enjoy the company.’
‘Beginning to?’ she joked. ‘Oh dear…’
‘I didn’t mean it like that!’ I laughed. ‘I just planned to have a holiday alone and was trying to get into that mindset. Now, I’m finding the best thing after everything that’s happened is to have better and happier company. It’s been great to spend time with you.’
‘Aw, thanks Sarah…ditto. I’ve enjoyed it too. I think maybe fate was working in our favour yesterday.’
‘You believe in fate?’ I asked her.
‘I sure do. Do you?’
‘I…yes,’ I nodded.
‘How unlikely was it for us to meet yesterday? I mean, when you really think about it, it’s so fortuitous that you were there at the exact time I needed help! If you hadn’t been there, well who knows what would have happened?’
‘That doesn’t bear thinking about…’ I murmured.
‘No. But then we meet and we share a lot of similarities and have become instant friends-if I’m not jumping the gun by saying that?’
‘No, I know what you mean…we have.’
‘Yes, so I just think…well, maybe the powers that be wanted us to meet…’
‘So, I could help you?’ I asked.
She shrugged. ‘Or for other reasons.’
I looked at her quizzically. ‘Like what?’
‘Like…to help each other?’
‘Really?’
She nodded. ‘We’ve both been through a rough time lately.’
I thought about this. She was right. ‘Yeah…maybe that’s true…’
‘And we seem to enjoy each other’s company…’
‘We do,’ I nodded.
‘So…’
I looked up and met her eyes. I frowned at her expression. ‘So…’
She shrugged, ‘Well, nothing I guess…’
I held her eyes. She had meant to say more but seemed to reconsider speaking further. ‘It’s nice to have a friend,’ I said instead, stopping her from talking about things I didn’t feel ready for.
‘It sure is…’
‘I, uh…what do you want to do tonight?’ I asked.
‘What are the options?’ she smiled.
‘I don’t know,’ I mused. ‘We’ve watched films and eaten food…I don’t know…more of the same?’
‘I love relaxing with you in front of a film,’ she smiled. ‘But I’m up for anything. I just like talking too…we could get to know each other better? Talk some more?’
My heart began beating more rapidly. I realised I would like nothing more.
‘But despite the fact we’ve already eaten pizza, I could do with something else!’ she laughed.
I smiled at her. ‘Well I think we have a plan then…’
‘We do?’
‘Yes…made dinner, talk and then a late-night film.’
‘I love it. Perfect,’ she smiled.
Nikki and I worked together in the kitchen to put together a dinner of spaghetti Bolognese. Nikki insisted on helping, even though she needed to stay in one spot to do so. I passed her items to chop and peel and she helped with preparations.
When the Bolognese was bubbling away and the spaghetti simmering, we headed back to the lounge with a drink.
‘There’s something nice about preparing a meal with someone, isn’t there?’ Nikki commented, as she lowered herself carefully to the sofa.
‘You don’t do that?’ I asked.
‘No, not really…it’s very pleasant!’ she laughed.
‘It is with you! I don’t know…I’ve cooked with girlfriends before but it hasn’t always been that much fun!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because of arguments! My last girlfriend was so argumentative!’ I exclaimed.
‘Yeah, you mentioned that…I couldn’t be doing with argument all the time!’
‘No, you don’t seem like that,’ I commented.
‘I’m pretty placid…I don’t like confrontation or anger in a room. I avoid it generally.’
‘I’m the same,’ I told her. ‘I’ve always been told I’m very calm and stable but when I met…her…’ I said, unwilling to say her name, ‘all that sort of changed…’
‘You should never change who you are for someone.’
‘No…I realise that now. It’s so silly, looking back. I mean…I wasn’t happy from the beginning so I don’t even know why I was entertaining it.’
She shrugged, ‘Easy. None of us want to be alone!’
I nodded sadly. ‘That’s very true…’
‘And we’ve all been there where we’ve stuck with a relationship which is going nowhere, simply in the hope that it will.’
I nodded and looked at her sadly. ‘What a pair we are!’
She smiled ruefully.
I looked to the window where the sun shone through. It was beginning to lower and rays of light shone prettily through to the wood floor. ‘I hope I find what I’m looking for.’
‘You will,’ Nikki said, with an assured tone.
‘How can you know that?’ I asked, turning back to her.
She smiled, ‘I don’t for sure…but it sounds good. I say it to myself all the time, Sarah. The thing is, if you think you won’t be happy and you won’t meet someone wonderful, it’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thi
nk you will and I reckon everything will fall into place.’
‘Is that what you do?’ I wondered.
She just smiled. ‘Yeah…’
I met her eyes and couldn’t look away from their captivating depths. ‘I should create my own destiny.’
‘That you should, Sarah.’
I smiled at her as I stood up. ‘I’m just going to check on the spaghetti.’
Chapter 9
Back to the future
Nikki and ate our delicious dinner together at the table and then I cleared everything up while Nikki stood at the counter washing up. She could perform tasks which didn’t require her to move from place to place but moving around was still difficult.
When we were cleaned-up, we headed back for the sofa.
‘Film or chat?’ I asked, sitting down.
‘Up to you.’
‘I don’t mind,’ I told her.
‘Okay…chat then,’ she smiled.
‘Okay,’ I replied, returning her smile.
‘So…I’m curious about you, Sarah.’
‘Go on…’
‘I know about your family and your latest drama but not much else.’
‘What would you like to know?’ I asked, setting back against the sofa comfortably.
‘All the juicy bits!’ she laughed, smiling at me warmly.
‘Oh! I don’t know if I have many of those!’
‘Sure you do! I can just tell!’
I frowned at her funnily. ‘Oh really?’
‘Yeah! For starters-when did you first know you were gay?’ she asked curiously.
‘Ah, well, let’s go back a little…’ I laughed.
‘How old?’
‘Um…about thirteen or fourteen I guess.’
She nodded. ‘Common age…’
‘Yeah. I wasn’t really aware of it before then but at thirteen my friends were beginning to talk about boys and show interest with some of the lads at school. I didn’t have that; in fact, it was then that I began to notice girls…’
‘Let me guess-one of your friends?’
‘Nope!’ I laughed.
‘Oh really? Who then?’
‘I was in the middle of an addiction to a certain popular sci-fi show,’ I told her.
Nikki threw her head back and laughed. ‘I know what you’re going to say!’
‘No, you don’t!’
‘Yes, I do! Scully from The X Files, right?’ she questioned, laughing out loud.
‘Oh my God, how did you know that?’
‘Common lesbian fantasy, Sarah. You’re not alone with that one!’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, of course! Every lesbian I know thinks she’s gorgeous!’
‘Oh…well, it began with noticing her and then you were spot on…I began to notice a friend at school.’
‘Did it materialise into anything?’
‘No, not at all…I mean, she was the straightest girl you’ve ever met! There wasn’t a hope in hell for me. From then on though, I didn’t even look at boys.’
‘So, you never tried dating or sleeping with a man ever?’
I shook my head. ‘No, I didn’t. The interest just wasn’t there. I’ve had male friends but simply never wanted to sleep with one. So, I haven’t.’
‘Wow…pure lesbian. You’re rare,’ she smiled.
‘Am I?’
‘Yeah! Definitely! Most women I’ve met have been with a man at some time in their lives. It’s refreshing to meet someone like me.’
‘Ah, so you haven’t?’ I asked, as she had just mentioned what I was going to ask.
‘Never!’ she said with an amused shudder. ‘Not for me!’
‘Me neither…I can’t understand how some people can move back and forth between genders…’
‘Each to their own, Sarah, but for me-yeah I agree. It’s women all the way.’
I nodded, feeling strangely content for some reason.
‘And what about you first girlfriend?’
‘What about it?’ I asked.
‘Well, tell me about it, silly! When, who was she…that kind of thing.’
‘Oh, okay…well, she was a girl I met at college.’
‘College?’
‘Yeah,’ I said with a little grimace. ‘I started late, I know.’
‘Why?’
‘Because believe it or not, I’m quite shy and I didn’t quite know how to embark on the whole ‘being a lesbian’ thing.’
‘Understandable.’
‘I bet you weren’t,’ I commented, smiling at her with amusement.
‘Me? Shy? No,’ she laughed. ‘I was dating girls from about thirteen!’ she laughed.
‘Thirteen!’
‘Yeah…well, very innocently!’
‘I’ll bet,’ I chuckled.
‘Maybe a little bit of kissing was involved but that was about it! I certainly didn’t hold with the attempt to experiment though!’ she laughed.
‘Hmm…I did. I just didn’t know what on earth to do! I was really shy and didn’t have friends who were gay so it was difficult to meet people. It wasn’t until my world widened that I began meeting people who thought likewise…’
‘So, this was at college?’
‘Yeah…I met this girl…well, she approached me actually.’
‘What was her name?’
‘Her name was Lauren,’ I told her.
‘And what was she like?’
‘She was a lot like you in some ways,’ I replied. ‘I mean that in the sense that she carried herself with confidence and she was fun, happy and easy to be around.’
‘Ah…that’s nice.’
‘Is was. She was also very openly gay. She dressed and looked the part and was clearly trying to make her statement to the world.’
‘So, how did it all happen with you two?’
‘She asked me out after a lecture,’ I told her. ‘She said she’d noticed me in class and wondered if I liked girls. She asked me out and I said yes…one thing led to another and we ended up together…’
‘Nope! Hang on! Details, Sarah! You’re leaving out all the best bits!’ she exclaimed with passion.
‘I am?’
‘Yes! Come on! First kiss, first time sleeping together…those are the best bits!’
‘Oh, you don’t want to hear about all the gory details!’
‘I most certainly do!’ she enthused.
I groaned. ‘Alright…as long as you tell an embarrassing story of your own afterwards too!’
‘Done,’ she nodded, smiling my way.
‘Okay…well, first kiss…’
‘I’m all ears!’ she grinned.
‘The first kiss came after our first date.’
‘Where did she take you?’
‘We went to the cinema…it wasn’t great for a first date as it meant we didn’t talk for the whole time and I just sat there getting more and more anxious.’
‘Oh dear,’ she chuckled.
‘Yeah…it was pretty grim…’
‘So, how did the first kiss happen?’
‘After the cinema, she drove us to a park and we sat in the car and made out for a bit.’
‘You’re going too fast again, Sarah…slow the pace…so, she pulls up and parks. Then what?’
‘Uh, it was a long time ago, Nikki!’
‘Everyone remembers their first kiss, Sarah.’
I sighed. ‘You’re going to make me relive this in detail, aren’t you?’
‘Yep!’ she said, smiling gleefully.
‘Okay…well, she pulled up and parked and had Bon Jovi playing in the background.
Nikki chuckled to herself a little at the mention of Bon Jovi.
‘She turned to me and said, ‘I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night.’
‘Romantic…’
‘I thought so at the time,’ I smiled.
‘And then?’
‘Then she leaned over and I panicked.’
‘Oh dear-what did you do?’
‘We
ll, remember this way my first kiss…I leant this way and then that and then our noses bumped. I pulled away in a complete embarrassed mess!’
‘Oh,’ she laughed, chuckling away to herself.
‘But then she lifted her hands to my cheeks and took control. She leaned in and kissed me and taught me everything I needed to know about the whole kissing thing. Once that night was over, I felt much more confident about everything…’
‘So, how long was it before it got more serious?’ she asked.
‘What-sleeping together?’
‘Yeah…’
‘I didn’t actually.’
‘What? How come?’
‘Well, we were only together for three months and in that time, it didn’t happen.’
‘No way! So, when did you first become intimate with a woman?’
‘Uh, in my second…relationship-if you can call it that!’ I laughed.
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because it was more of a fling…it was a quick fling with an older woman I used to work with and didn’t go beyond the physical.’
‘Oh, well this I need to hear more about!’ she exclaimed.
‘Of course you do!’ I sighed, but chuckled a little. ‘You always want the details!’
‘They are the spice of life, Sarah!’
I laughed. ‘True. Well, when I was still at college, I started working down at the beach as an assistant in a beach shop.’
‘Nice job…’
‘It was actually,’ I smiled. ‘Great view.’
‘I’ll bet!’
‘Anyway, I met this woman there…she was…’ I sighed blissfully, ‘she was gorgeous, Nikki!’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. She was older, experienced and confident and she liked me. She told me what she wanted and went after it. I said no again and again until I couldn’t help it…I went to her after work one day and well…we went back to hers and…’ I trailed off.
‘Details!’ she warned me.
I laughed. ‘I am not going to give you the low down on the intimate relations we shared! Suffice to say, it was a great first experience and from then on, I felt like I had confidence to enter relationships knowing what to do.’
‘I see. So, she was a good lover?’
I nodded. ‘I haven’t ever had as good since.’
‘Really? Even in close relationships where you’ve been in love with the woman?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah! Maybe it was the freedom of the relationship or the realisation that I needed to enjoy the moment while it lasted…I don’t know what it was but there was chemistry there…’