“Somehow, that was how you existed.” Grandma Lucy persisted, her heart racing with her lungs. Then she glued her eyes on Sophia, who now appeared enlightened with all the details. But Grandma Lucy wasn’t done yet. “Francheska claimed she was raped in the woods. But my son,” Grandma Lucy took a pause and squeezed her eyes shut, “he never remembered anything! And now, Ben’s still missing, after all these years…”
The statement ended with a careful rush of tears and stillness.
Sophia, learning of how she was probably conceived, looked down and steadied herself. It was incredibly easy now to realize why her grandma had always treated her so badly. She lost a son because of her.
“Francheska was fifteen,” Elizabeth slipped in, after a while. “Instead of an abortion, Francheska…we… all decided to keep you,” she said as she gazed at Sophia. “But after you were born, she went missing, too…”
An unidentified emotion suddenly swallowed Sophia up. She was rapt with the thought that if she hadn’t existed, everyone could have been just fine.
Then unexpectedly, she stood up and ran to her room. It was all clear to her now, Jericho could really be related to her by blood and it wasn’t that easy for her to accept it. It was now forbidden. Everything she felt for him must now be put to the grave. But knowing that her real father was actually her father’s brother and her real mother was her mother’s sister, she ached to know some other things. Where are they and why were they missing after she was born?
On mid-afternoon, Sophia decided not to join her family for lunch, and instead, kept to her room.
It was still hard for her to process everything. As she laid in bed, her tears pouring endlessly, by coincidence, she saw Jericho’s birthday present in her leather bag underneath her study desk. Though she remembered he’d asked her to open it on the day of her birthday, she couldn’t bear another look at it, and she realized it was best to throw it away. It would only bring her nothing but heartache.
But down deep, something was whispering to keep it. It was so powerful she made up her mind to lock it in her jewelry closet and forget about it, as she would also do for him. Then a sudden vibration of her phone distracted her—a call from Enzo.
“Hey, happy birthday!”
Sophia took too long to respond. She wasn’t expecting Enzo would bother to greet her again, after yesterday. Why did he call this time?
“Thank you.” Her voice was halfway between curiosity and delight.
“Are you surprised?”
Yes, she did feel surprised and grateful, but some questions clamored her to wonder. Instead of asking him, she skipped the usual so what’s up? preludes and realized he could be a remedy for her doomed birthday. Doomed life even, and this pressed her to ask him out.
“I’m not having a happy birthday, and I was thinking if—” She was saying when she became conscious she was too confident and abusive for his kindness.
“Uh, what?”
The voice at the end of the line turned vague, as her own thoughts did too. This wasn’t her. She knew it wasn’t her thing to use people but… obviously, he was the one offering. Only indirectly as it seemed.
“You were wondering if… what?” Enzo repeated.
Sophia wanted to say never mind but a part of her promptly made her say, “I was wondering if you wanna get out, with me?”
Right there and then, Enzo felt elated. “You mean you want to have a drink or something?” he asked, trying to pretend he wasn’t that interested. But somewhere in the back of his mind, anticipations were starting to unfold.
“Yeah, I need a drink. Like a lot. Can you help me?”
Sophia closed her eyes the moment she said the last part. She sounded helpless. Desperate. She felt regretful, thinking she couldn’t trust herself at this point of her life. Her own self was betraying her.
But for Enzo, something was alive again. This was now the old Sophia he knew. She was back! The deserted, stubborn girl from Forest Green was now back, only this time with a memory loss.
“Sure, so where do you want to meet with me?”
“Somewhere I used to be happy, where I felt so free.” Her voice was hanging in the air as she spoke.
This was something else. He could sense sadness, and an on-the-run tendency. But this didn’t come as a shock to him. Sophia had always been an escapist. He knew Sophia very well, especially the other side of her, something that was not quite familiar to everyone. He’d been watching her skip school with Daniella as they ran somewhere else to try some weed. Yet, Sophia’s parents were able to drag their daughter out of that dusky phase of her life. At the same time, Giovanni had slipped in, and had everyone’s support. And Zarah too, as Alex’s new girlfriend.
Unfortunately for Enzo, that was also the time when everyone had stigmatized him. Little did they know he’d only shared the same thing. He was also in the pursuit of wanting to belonging in the family, and all he ever wanted was to be at the right place, with the right people.
“Yes, I know a place,” Enzo then said, and they agreed to meet at The Portico at one o’clock.
They saw each other on a small table outside the diner. The Portico was a high end place in the city, where people in ties and sparkling dresses meet mostly. The sun was blazing hot, and Sophia found him too sexy in those dark shades and fitted gray shirt. Unlike any guy in her life, Enzo was an average. His tone and manner of talking though were godly, and every girl would melt just by listening to him.
“You look great.” Enzo eyed her. She was wearing a yellow skirt above her knee, paired with a perfectly tucked-in white top. It was complimented with a leather belt and a pair of beige sandals, making her two inches higher. And this brought her some regrets. She was obviously taller than him.
“Thank you.” She managed a smile and a lively stare.
Beside them were fellow youngsters, sharing gossips and raising glasses as they sat in a large blissful circle.
“I wonder why our special person is spending her birthday with someone strange to her,” he said as he pulled a chair for both of them and ordered for some limes and lemons.
Sophia was hushed for a moment, and couldn’t help but feel haunted for involving Enzo in this terrible misfortune of her life.
“I’m sorry. I should haven’t asked you out. I’m really sorry,” she was lamenting, but to her surprise, he was smiling.
“Do you wanna go somewhere else?” he offered, displaying a look that was difficult to resist. Somehow, he knew a way out of this mess if Sophia couldn’t handle herself. “Come on, it’s a good place.” He then winked, tempting, brought out a cash from his wallet, and paid the waitress who was coming to serve them.
They headed west and to Sophia’s disbelief, it was a civic beach, and fortunately for them, there were no people surfing. Only a few couples were there, dating, walking by the seaside with a pair of flip-flops in their hands as flocks of seabirds passed them by. And offshore there were yachts disappearing slowly as they sailed into the fading sun.
“You and Daniella used to hang out here,” he said as they drove through palm trees and sunflowers to the car park.
“You really know a lot of things about me, huh?” She tried to smile, as if it was a compliment, and hurled her gaze back to the shore. The sight was bracing, along with the cool wind coming from the ocean.
Her worries went away for that short moment and it made sense to her to know that Enzo was a good company. And it was something she could use, to trust him.
“But there is one thing you don’t know though,” she spoke again, after a while, and it sounded as though it was a challenge.
“And what is that?”
“I’m adopted!”
“What?” Enzo almost lost control of the wheels looking at her.
“Yeah, kind of adopted. And I just learned of that this morning,” she admitted with a modest laugh, and this left Enzo guessing.
“But you look like your mom. There’s no doubt about
that.”
“My real mother is actually my mom’s sister and my real father is actually my dad’s brother. How cool is that, right?” She wished sarcasm would be more soothing than the salty whiff of corals and blossoming flowers by the driveway.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“How about you? Any shocking revelations too?”
“Not today.” Enzo swayed his head and finally parked the truck.
Together, they looked out to the sea and watched the sun melt into the dimming water. He left her for a jiffy and went to buy coconut water which they called buko in the nearby coastal café. Unlike Sophia, he had expectations, knowing the ship that she and Giovanni had sailed ages ago.
From afar, he studied her as the airstream played with her hair. And even though he did fight the escalating impulse, he wished he could touch her at that very moment and tuck the suspended hair strands behind her ears.
“I want to come here as often as I can,” Sophia told him the moment he’d returned. In his hands was a shell of coconut with an accessory of a small umbrella and a striped straw.
“Here,” he said. “Give yourself a plunge. The sun went too hot today.”
Astonished, she couldn’t thank him enough. And throwing some funny lines might probably be a huge help. “Merci buko,” she laughed in place of the French word beaucoup, for expressing her gratitude.
Enzo laughed so hard at her attempt, especially when she tossed the buko in the mid-air. “That’s so clever of you.” His laugh extended, and he decided to go for a swim.
In a sudden tension, Sophia switched her look the moment he stripped off his shirt and pair of jeans. She didn’t expect that Enzo could possess such a masculine build-up. He always appeared frail and thin.
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m off for a swim, Sophia! Come on… let’s get to the seashore.” He offered as he dragged her to the shore.
“I can’t. It’s really cold.” Sophia tried to step back.
“Are you scared?” He put a challenge on. “It’s not like a Jaw movie that a shark would come to bite you.”
“No! It’s not that…”
“Come on!” Enzo, in his trunks, began to duck himself into the water and asked Sophia once more.
Sophia had no choice but to follow him. She took off her clothes too, and joined him. “The water is cold,” she said as she drifted with the waves, one after another. And when the bigger waves came, they scuffled her and led her straight into Enzo’s arms.
Enzo was helpful enough in grasping her, and this left his arms wrapped all around her. “I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized. And for a while, they shared the same awkward but refreshing tension.
“I think, we should go…” Sophia began to move but Enzo was watching her closely. He volunteered in picking up their clothes and turned around the moment she began wearing them back as he, too, put on his own clothes.
When they arrived at Sophia’s, her parents were already outside the gate, raring to get an explanation from their daughter. It was too dark for a young woman to come home now. Enzo knew he was somehow liable for the situation and he couldn’t stop the nervy feeling creeping inside of him.
“Where have you been?” Elizabeth confronted them, quite uneasy with their wet appearance as they glided out of the truck.
Sophia ignored her mom and rather, said her thanks and goodbye to Enzo.
“Wait. Enzo, right?” Elizabeth stopped Enzo from restarting his truck. “We’re not yet having our dinner. Do you mind if you join us? I mean, it’s Sophia’s birthday.” Elizabeth adorned it with a very inviting smile, trying to cover up her disappointment at Sophia.
“If you’re up to something, do not include him.” Sophia warned her mom, as if it was a threat. Her rage at her for keeping a secret was still fresh and kicking.
“I’m just trying to be polite with your new friend, Sophia,” Elizabeth defended herself, making sure her facial expression was at ease. She didn’t want Enzo think they were having some cat fight.
“Let’s get inside the house then,” Philippe, appearing fine, intruded.
Sophia felt how Enzo got nervous as they stepped into the front porch. “Hey, it’s okay. You’ve been inside the house before.” She tried to comfort him.
When the door slid open, a bunch of teens popped in before them. A huge birthday surprise was actually waiting ahead and the person behind it was Zarah. But she dropped into dead silence upon seeing her best friend with Enzo. And Alex felt even worse. it was a party for everyone but them!
“Am I really seeing this? You’re with him?” Zarah went to ask her, right after Sophia accepted everyone’s greetings and Enzo went his way to chat with the guys he knew at the event.
“Zarah, please…”
“No, you tell me about it,” Zarah demanded, as Alex meddled in, to interrogate her also.
“Happy birthday, sis!” Alex’s tone was round and joyful. At some point, both of them were uneasy with the term sis. “So, what’s with him?” Alex was referring to Enzo.
Sighing, Sophia implored, “Just be nice to him, okay?” Then she excused herself and rushed outside, to the backyard, to clear her thoughts. She was starting to feel uncomfortable with everything, and with how she was using Enzo as her ticket to leaving her past with Jericho, behind.
She could barely breathe. She looked up at the tiny glittering stars, and cried for Jericho, as the dew of her own tears seemed to reflect the stars. The stars deepened her longing for him. And she wished he was there with her on her birthday. Wasn’t that too selfish to ask? Her love for Jericho was always there. And unlike the stars, it would never die.
Then she felt someone behind her and saw her mother’s silhouette. Her mother told her to change her clothes, and to try out the red dress that Nadine bought for her, as a present.
Sophia’s lips failed to provide a response. She looked almost stoned, her life shining, but faintly, like the crescent moon over the cloudy sky.
“Happy birthday, Sophia.” Elizabeth managed to whisper, trying to look her in the eye. She was obviously feeling guilty and scared. “And I’m so sorry for everything.”
“I’m dying right now, Mom.” Sophia was catching her breath. The burden in her chest was just too much, so that it seemed to block her lungs from getting enough air. “I’m dying inside, trying to accept that you’re not my real parents and that my real parents ran away and left me.” She bawled even more. “And the worst of all is that Jericho is my… own brother.…”
Oh heavens! If only the past and the present could be altered! And then the future time could come out differently, and much better, too.
“There’s nothing I can say right now, but I give you my sincerest apologies, Sophia.” Elizabeth struggled to face her daughter. “I am really, really sorry for everything…” Elizabeth tried to clasp her but Sophia didn’t hug her back. And the moment she’d released her, Sophia galloped back inside, forcing herself to stay calm up to the end of the celebration.
CHAPTER 14
________________________________________________________ † ________________________________________________________
enzo
“I can’t believe you’re adopted!” Zarah was surprised as she and Sophia made conversation in the latter’s bedroom, early the next morning. After the party last night, Sophia asked for a sleep-over in the hope of disclosing the recent happenings to her best friend. She didn’t want to get stuck with talking about other things—school stuff, mostly. This morning, her guts had finally kicked in, and she began sharing her story to Zarah.
It was gut-wrenching for Sophia. She knew Zarah was accepting enough, but she remembered she hadn’t told Zarah yet about Abanir, and Sophia didn’t know where to start. It seemed she needed another occasion to talk of the outlandish creature.
“Yes, I am adopted.” Sophia attempted to utter a laugh. Somewhere deep down, she knew she was pitiful, and sh
e wished sarcasm would be kind enough to comfort her. The reality was too fresh yet, and she was still at the stage of accepting.
“And you said your real dad is your dad’s brother and your real mom is your mom’s sister…?” Zarah’s forehead was in furrows as she got confused about the interlaced details. “Seriously, that’s kinda weird.”
“But that’s not the biggest surprise I have for you…” Sophia couldn’t help the smug look that spread across her face. It felt good to fake her own feelings, well, at least for one moment only.
“What do you mean?”
Sophia glanced toward the windows and left Zarah waiting in the bed. Through the drapes that were parted in the middle, she said, “It’s about Jericho.” Then she paused, took a deep breath, and went back to Zarah who moved closer to hear her, suddenly attentive to the words she was about to spill. Sophia didn’t know how to position her words, this time, thinking this second blow would put more impact on Zarah because it involved Alex. And her too, because of Jericho. “D—Dad has a son besides Alex...” She closed her eyes the moment she said it.
Zarah’s face pulled in bewilderment then. “What?!”
“Jericho. He’s the other son.” Then, Sophia lifted up her head to the ceiling, her heart seemingly racing with her lungs. And seeing the chandelier sparkle with the golden sunbeams, so vibrant, she wished her life would be just as vibrant, too. Oh God, how she needed the strength!
“I can’t believe this is happening to you. To your family.” Zarah muttered, and started patting Sophia’s back. “I understand you don’t want to feel the pain, Sophia, who doesn’t?” She paused, and then she gave Sophia another light pat. “Everything will be just fine, okay?” It wasn’t Zarah’s strong point to console anybody, but somehow, she was good with Sophia. She thought: one must be strong at the time the other one gets weak.
The Forest of Evergreen: Found in the Wilderness Page 9