by Claire Adams
“Life is scary,” Alex said. “Do you know about my nightmares?”
“Carl mentioned them when you first got into town.”
“It’s one of the reasons I came here. Even sleep wasn’t a relief, you know?” Alex picked up the bottle and gulped down several mouthfuls of wine. “But since I’ve been here, I’ve barely had any. Not saying I’m cured, but obviously, this place is good for me. The people here have been good for me.”
“What people?”
Alex lowered the bottle, his gray eyes boring into my soul. Maybe it was the two-dollar wine in me, but I couldn’t help but lick my lips, taking in the blond strands hanging over that handsome face of the fit man sitting in front of me. His short sleeves revealed those strong arms that had already helped bring me so much pleasure before.
“I already said why I’m here, Aspyn,” he said. “If you weren’t here, I’d never have come back.” He shrugged. “My biggest mistake was leaving you. No, my biggest two mistakes were leaving you before and then leaving you after the reunion.”
“I don’t know that I can be what you need, Alex,” I whispered. “I’m just me.”
He scooted toward me, hunger and fire in his eyes. “And it’s not like I ever asked for more than that.”
“I’m just not sure.”
“I’m not leaving. I have a house, land, and two damn good reasons to stay.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could get anything out, he crushed his against mine. I gasped, and he parted my lips with his eager tongue.
Warmth pooled in my center as my tongue danced with his. That was what it was, a dance, not a struggle or a fight for dominance but a sharing of pleasure. He gently lowered me, parting my legs with his knee, our mouths still linked and our tongues still exploring each other.
His mouth finally left mine. “You have high fences,” he whispered.
My nipples tightened in anticipation. “We can’t do that out here.”
“I want to give you something, like you did me: a reward,” he murmured through heavy-lidded eyes. His hands skimmed down my sides until they arrive at my waist. One hand drifted over to the buttons on my jeans. He popped them one by one.
“But we’re outside,” I whispered.
Alex grinned down at me. “Then keep quiet. My mouth will be busy, so I know I won’t be making any noise.”
Warmth shot from my face and center to seep through my whole body. Alex tugged down my jeans and then my panties. Cool air nipped at my exposed pussy, though my own heat fought against the night.
Alex’s mouth kissed my earlobe and then moved over to my lips before trailing down my exposed neck. With my shirt still on, he skipped the rest of my body. He also skipped over my belly button ring until arriving at his target, right above my pussy. His hot breath fanned my warm, eager center.
He swiped my clit with his tongue. I hissed.
Alex grinned up at me with a lopsided smile.
I nodded slowly and then placed a hand over my mouth.
He lowered his mouth over my clit, his tongue circling and flicking my warm nub. Each touch summoned another jolt of pleasure to shoot from my center, and the pressure started to build toward a glorious release.
I closed my eyes, focusing only on his rough tongue caressing my sensitive and throbbing clit. A second later, I gasped as two of his fingers invaded my pussy. I kept my eyes closed so I could concentrate only on the sensation.
His fingers pulled back and thrust forward, picking up speed. His tongue’s efforts matched his strong fingers. Even though it wasn’t as satisfying as having his thick cock inside me, this attention to my clit left me shivering in pleasure.
The only reason I wasn’t waking up the entire neighborhood was the hand I kept clasped tightly over my mouth. My muffled moans might disturb someone if they happened to be right outside in their yard, but they were not loud enough to bother anyone inside.
His hand sped up, his fingers pushing deeper into my throbbing, wet pussy. The exquisite pressure built even more. I groaned out into my hand, my body shivering with ecstasy.
Despite the attention he was paying to my insides, he kept servicing my throbbing clit, his tongue lapping away at me like I was ice cream.
My eyes snapped open. I moaned loudly into my hand, my insides seizing around Alex’s fingers, my orgasm exploding through me.
Alex gave my hard nub one last lick before sitting up, grinning down at me.
I removed my hand, revealing my ragged breathing, and wondered in the back of my mind if any of my neighbors had heard before deciding I didn’t really give a damn if they did.
Alex smiled down at me, warmth and love in those gray eyes, rather than the raw, primal lust I’d seen before.
I tried to sit up, but my head was still swimming from my orgasm, and I stumbled back.
He scooped me up in those strong arms. “Let’s get you into bed.”
Chapter 26
Alex
The look on Aspyn’s face as she came was seared into my mind. I could still see it, her dark hair a bit disheveled and her dark brown eyes rolling back.
I didn’t care that I hadn’t been able to sink into her, even if my hard and throbbing cock disagreed. Now that she’d finally stopped fighting me, I’d have plenty of chances to get my own pleasure while sharing more with her.
No, it was good that I’d only gone down on her. Good that I showed her this wasn’t about my needs and wants.
There was something more to what we had than simple lust. It was important Aspyn understood that.
I glanced down at her in my arms and offered her a warm smile. She looked back, heavy-lidded and obviously sleepy.
I carefully guided her through her house in my arms, taking her down the hallway until we arrived in her bedroom.
My cock stirred again at the idea of bending over and slamming into her until she moaned again. I almost grunted. I needed to get my boy under control. A quick check of the room helped with that.
Aspyn’s tiny bed almost made me laugh. It was obvious she wasn’t having a lot of good times in a bed that small. Of course, if I were to stay with her in that bed, we’d have to stay cuddled up close together. Always a good thing.
My dick stirred again. So much for control. I knew something that would speak to my heart and not my dick.
I set her down on her bed. “I’ll be right back.”
Aspyn eyed me, her expression still a dazed. “Where are you going?”
“I just wanted to check on Kadie.”
She gave me a slight nod followed by a warm smile.
“Where’s her room?”
“Just across the way,” Aspyn said, sleepiness marking her voice.
I nodded and crept into the room across the hall. Kadie lay on her side, her thumb in her mouth, a little angel. She was still sleeping in a crib, which kind of disappointed me. But only because I wondered what kind of adorable little toddler bed she might sleep in.
What kind of dreams passed through her little mind at night? She still lived a happy existence where people loved her. She wasn’t haunted by the mistakes of her past.
I would do anything to protect that for as long as I could. She was an accident, but there was no way in hell I’d ever consider her a mistake.
I wouldn’t dare step farther into the room. I didn’t want to risk waking her up. With a soft smile on my face, I closed the door and stepped back into Aspyn’s room.
She patted the bed beside her. “Stay with me. We don’t have to do anything, but stay with me tonight.”
I shook my head. “If I stay now, I won’t ever leave.”
“So? Is that so bad? What about everything you said?”
“It’s all true, but we need to take it slow. As much as I want to be with you, you were also right.”
“About what?”
“About how we have to think about Kadie. It’s important for her sake that we get it right this time.” I walked over to the bed and kissed Aspyn lightly on
the forehead. “But I’ll see you soon. After all, I want to see both my daughter and her beautiful mother again soon.”
Aspyn stared up at me, now seeming a lot more awake. “You’re sure you can’t stay?”
I shook my head. “I can stay. It’s just not the best idea.”
She nodded with a sad smile on her face.
I turned away, knowing that if I waited a minute longer, then I wouldn’t be able to tear myself away from her face. I hurried out the front to my truck.
Sitting in the front seat, I watched her house for a few moments, wrestling with the idea of going back inside and thinking about the house itself.
It was too small. For a single woman, it was fine, but for a single woman and a growing child, it wasn’t enough.
It didn’t matter. I’d just given Aspyn a big speech about taking things slowly. Even if I hadn’t, my new house wasn’t ready. All I had to offer was room in the cabin, which was even smaller than her house.
My only choice was to hurry on my renovations. Was I getting ahead of myself? Aspyn asking me to stay the night was way different than me asking her to move into my place.
I barked out a laugh. Carl had pushed my mind to weird places. Before, I’d hoped to be friends with Aspyn again, and now I dared to dream of more. Maybe dared to dream of too much.
No. I couldn’t let myself think that way. A man pushed through problems, whether his own or those of the people he cared about.
I started my truck. It was time to head back.
* * *
Pulling back off the county road onto Carl’s ranch, I noticed Perri’s car parked by Carl’s truck. I chuckled a little, but the sight warmed my heart. I’d thought he’d be making a big mistake, but it turned out his only mistake had been in waiting so long.
I drove a little farther down until I arrived at the cabin. Once inside, I pulled out my phone and pulled up the app for my bank. I’d been dropping a lot of cash lately and wanted to make sure everything was still okay. My gaze flicked over the numbers.
I shook my head. I didn’t know why I was so worried. Maybe it was because I was still getting used to having the kind of money in my account that I did. They’d even warned me it was too much, and if something happened to the bank, the government could only reimburse me so much.
It was nice to have at least one thing in my life I didn’t have to worry about.
I headed to the shower, flipping on the water and waiting for a minute for it to warm up. When the warm steam started to rise from the spray, I stepped inside and started lathering up.
I thought back to Aspyn coming around my fingers and her desperate attempt to stop her moans and cries from bothering any of her neighbors. I sighed, hard and regretting not taking her up on her offer to stay. Even if I’d not decided to stay all night, my dick would have appreciated at least one round inside her.
Should I take care of myself? No, I didn’t want to. I’d be a little uncomfortable, but I wanted relief only if it involved her.
Doing my best to ignore my raging hard-on, I rinsed, toweled myself off, and headed for bed.
* * *
A psychiatrist told me once that if you recognize you’re in a dream, you should be able to control it. Even if you can’t control it, understanding that it’s fake is supposed to make sure it has no power over you.
What complete bullshit.
When I woke up, surrounded by flames and smoke in the cabin, for a second, just for a second, I thought I was actually awake. That is until I ran downstairs, and the front door was blocked by a man in a welder’s mask.
“You’re gonna die, you know,” he said, his clothing burning. “You’re already supposed to be dead.”
“Fuck you,” I shouted. “I’m not supposed to be dead.”
Burning wood dropped from the ceiling, almost burying me.
I charged the man, screaming.
When I hit him, I shrieked in pain. He was gone, and now I lay underneath a pile of burning wood and metal, my leg twisted and broken.
“This isn’t real,” I said. “This isn’t real.”
The man in the welding mask reappeared. “You’re gonna die, you know.” He pulled off the mask, revealing my face. “You know why, Alex?”
“This isn’t real!” I shouted.
“Because you know you deserve to.”
I awoke, screaming, my entire body bathed in sweat. I checked my body for injuries and burns. Though I had the scars on my leg from the original accident, there was nothing new.
I stared down at my hands. It was unfair. Damn unfair. It should have been one of my happiest nights since returning, and it’d been a while since I’d last had a nightmare.
It was hard not to wonder if talking about the nightmares had brought them back. I didn’t have to be a headshrinker to know that trying to pretend they never existed wasn’t going to help either, though.
Did they have something to do with me trying to reconnect with Aspyn? I didn’t know. More importantly, I didn’t give a shit if they did. I’d gladly pay the price.
A glance at the clock on my nightstand told me it was still several more hours until sunup. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep, so I decided to throw my clothes on.
Might as well work on painting my new house until Carl needed me for some of the morning chores on the ranch.
Chapter 27
Aspyn
Wednesday after work, I pulled out of the parking lot of town hall and headed toward Mama Rossetti’s. I was planning to visit Alex that night and wanted to bring a little food along with me. Kadie was going to have dinner with my mama tonight.
Mama had actually offered. After I told her how things were going with Alex, I guess she wanted to do her part to see if we had a chance. I didn’t know if it was wishful thinking or not. I hadn’t been able to see him the last couple of days, but I had been able to talk to him on the phone.
He was splitting his time between trying to get his house ready and helping Carl on the ranch. It didn’t help that Carl was a little distracted himself by getting ready for Perri to move in with him.
I chuckled. So much good fortune and love going around, but everything had its price.
I arrived at the pizza place and got out of my car. There wasn’t a lot I could do to help Alex right now, but I could bring him some warm food, and I doubted he was worrying about that sort of thing while he threw himself into work.
After stepping into the restaurant, I bit back a groan. There was a huge line. After a moment, I realized the line seemed to be moving pretty quickly. The good thing was that most people who came to Mama Rossetti’s already knew exactly what the restaurant offered and what they wanted. That night, thankfully, was no exception.
Standing in line did give me a lot more time to think about my conversations with Alex. They were all the over the place. We probably talked way too much about high school, but he told me a lot about Texas as well. I couldn’t help but be struck by how sad and lonely his time over there sounded.
I don’t think he meant it that way, but every detail was about a place, not about any people, except a few guys at work, and it didn’t sound like he hung out with them outside of work much, if at all.
Alex played it off like it was an interesting time, but the more I talked to him, the more I realized he didn’t seem to have made much in the way of friends out that way.
I supposed I already knew that on some level. If he had a bunch of close friends in Texas, then he wouldn’t have had to come back to Livingston. It’s not like his dad was still here for him, after all.
The line moved, and I arrived at the cash register, where I placed my order for a large Hawaiian pizza. The cashier cheerfully rang me up and directed me to wait down the counter for my pizza.
As I stood there, waiting for them to cook and box my pizza, something else bothered me about my chats with Alex over the last few days.
It wasn’t anything Alex had really said directly. He seemed as happy as ever, but his v
oice seemed off. He sounded so tired, like he was working too hard. Low in energy, lots of yawning. Not like he was bored but just bone-ass tired.
Yeah, I understood he was working on a ranch and trying to make a house livable, but I still didn’t get why he was having so much trouble all of sudden. After all, I’d talked to him on other days, and he didn’t seem as ready to fall over.
“Your pizza, ma’am,” an employee at Mama Rossetti’s said to me, knocking me out of my deep thoughts.
I grabbed the box. “Thank you.”
Just worrying too much, I told myself. There was nothing more to it than that.
* * *
A short car ride later, I was carrying the pizza box through the front door of Alex’s new place. I’d not been there since the week before, and my jaw almost dropped.
The outside was still the same, but the living room and the kitchen looked completely different. Freshly painted, none of the nasty old wallpaper, along with a new oven, refrigerator, faucet, and dishwater.
Even though the smell of fresh paint dominated, that didn’t mask the fact that the musty old smell that had choked the place before was gone. A fresh coat of paint on the outside, and you wouldn’t be able to tell this place had been all but abandoned for years.
Alex had made a lot of progress in a short amount of time. As far as I knew, Carl was too busy at the ranch to help, so it was almost stunning that one man could do so much by himself.
He’d probably worked quite an appetite from that day’s work, and I was sure he was famished, given how late it was.
“Pizza delivery,” I yelled. I laughed at my own joke. Yes, lame. I know.
“I’m upstairs,” Alex called back. “No tip, though.”
“Cheapskate.” I headed up the stairs and found him in the master bedroom, covered in paint, a roller in hand. He put the roller on a tray and gestured grandly. “What do you think?”