by Claire Adams
“No, he did not,” she said. “You’d been telling Greyson to take you there for months! And Christian just took you there just because?”
“Yep,” I said.
“So, did you two talk shop?” she asked.
“No. We said we would after dinner, but I’d had too much wine, and the sunset was so beautiful. I couldn’t bring my mind back around to work. Or Greyson, for that matter.”
“Well, that’s a plus,” she said.
“Daisy, he looked spectacular. He was in this tailored gray suit, and he was so nice the entire night. He opened my car door and helped me in and out of things.”
“Ha, like your clothes,” Daisy said, smirking.
“Shut up and listen,” I said.
“Sorry, sorry. Continue,” she said.
“I was the one that initiated things,” I said.
“Wait. You initiated sex,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“But, you never do that.”
“I know,” I said.
“Did you just jump his bones or something?” she asked.
“No. He carried me out of his car and laid me on his couch so I could sleep off the wine. I could feel him almost kiss my forehead, and I found my entire being wanting him to. But, he pulled away, and it made my heart sink.”
“You sure that wasn’t the alcohol talking?” she asked.
“I thought it was, honestly. I freaked the fuck out after it happened.”
“I can only imagine,” Daisy said.
“But, yesterday he took me to do this exercise. He’s working with me on my public speaking, and my task was to pick a random crowd of people and tell a story.”
“Sounds like utter bullshit,” she said.
“It really wasn’t, though. Well, not after I started. I told this story, and as I got going, I got better. It worked a bit, I think. Anyway, after the story, he told me how proud my dad would be of me, and he kissed my ear. It sent shivers down my spine, Daisy. That’s not normal, right?” I asked.
“Honestly? I’m not sure what to think right now. You just admitted to me that you slept with your stepbrother,” she said.
“Love knows nothing other than love.”
Our eyes landed on the elderly woman in the bed who had a small smile blooming across her lips.
“I never said anything about love,” I said.
“You didn’t have to, honey,” the elderly woman said. “It’s written in your eyes.”
“I can’t be in love with my stepbrother. I can’t possibly feel this way about someone I grew up with my entire life,” I said.
“Who better to fall in love with?” the woman asked. “He’s seen every part of you. The rough teenage years, the insecure middle school years. You’ve fought together and hated together and enjoyed holidays together. He is probably the only person on the planet who knows you as well as you know yourself.”
I looked over at Daisy, whose eyes were firmly hooked onto the woman in the bed.
“So, you’re saying I should go for it?” I asked.
“Love knows nothing other than love,” she said again. “That’s how it works. Love, in its purest form, is unadulterated by anything this world has to offer. It’s how it can easily seek out the love of another person. Sometimes, we just have no control over who that person is.”
“Even if that person is a stepbrother?” Daisy asked.
“Do you love him, child?”
She turned her gaze to me, and I felt the blood rush to my toes. Did I love him? In the way she was talking about? Had the sisterly pseudo-love I’d felt for Christian growing up somehow morphed into a romantic love?
Was that even acceptable?
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Then know this,” the woman said. “Love doesn’t come multiple times in a lifetime. The love we feel before we fall in love is just what we think love should feel like. Then, after the love is felt, all love after that is merely an echo. If you find love and you want it to stay, you have to take it.”
I saw Daisy smiling down fondly at the woman, and I dipped down to give her a hug. I thanked her for her kind words before I wrapped my arms around Daisy’s neck, and she promised she would come over with food after her shift ended. She wanted more details than what I had just given, and I couldn’t blame her.
But my mind was stuck on that question the woman had asked me.
I didn’t know if I was in love with Christian. I knew how he made me feel, and I knew I wanted to be closer to him. I knew I cared enough to get jealous of the attention that doctor was paying him in the meeting, and I knew I cared enough to want his approval of my public speaking.
I knew I cared enough to feel safe with him. Protected by him. I cared enough to wish I had stayed with him that night and woken up in his arms the next morning.
I cared enough to see the man he had turned into, and as I got into my car, I realized I could be okay with Christian.
I didn’t know if I could fall in love with him, but I could be okay with him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Christian
I was sitting in my kitchen drinking my second cup of coffee when a knock came at the door. The quick rapping followed by fingertips tapping told me exactly who it was. I smiled when I threw open the door and saw Todd standing there. He was clad in his wetsuit and holding his surfboard, and he was ready to get out for the morning.
“You comin’ or what?” he asked.
“Didn’t know we had plans,” I said. “I’m still drinking my coffee.”
“The waves are awesome today. Chug it, get changed, and let’s go,” he said.
“I could use a day out,” I said. “Give me 15 minutes.”
I went back to the kitchen and downed the rest of my coffee before I took the stairs two by two. It would be nice to get out with Todd, especially with everything that had been traversing since the last time I saw him. I didn’t know if I wanted to really tell him what was going on, but I knew I wanted a bit of his advice.
You know, to see where his head would be at with this whole thing brewing between Stella and me.
“Come on, Christian! Let’s go!” Todd yelled up the stairs.
“Don’t get your wetsuit up your ass crack; I’m coming,” I said.
I grabbed a towel before I locked the door behind me, and I headed to the garage to get my board. Todd’s car was the only one we could take to the beach because it had space in the back to haul our boards, so I was always the one to fill up his gas tank. We pulled into a station, and I filled his tank up to the brim, then we were headed to the beach.
“So, how you been since I last saw you? The company must be keeping you busy. I haven’t seen you around too much,” he said.
“Yeah, it’s been a whirlwind,” I said. “Lots of things to learn and get under control. It’s been a big help having Stella around, though.”
“I know, I’m just full of good ideas,” Todd said, smirking. “You two playing any nicer?”
“I don’t think she’s trying to take the company away from me, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said.
“Well, that’s a good start. When did she drop that idea?” he asked.
Probably when I fucked her in my bed.
“I’ve been helping her work on her public speaking. You know, like my mom used to. I think she saw the value I had to offer and the fact that I could teach her some things. She really backed off after that,” I said.
“Oh, shit. You pulled that park shit with her? I’m surprised she even went for it.”
“Oh, trust me. She wasn’t happy in the beginning. But, I told her it would help, and she trusted me for the first time in her life, probably, and it went over well,” I said.
“Well, good for you. I’m glad things are working out,” he said.
We rode in silence until we got to the beach. We parked the car and surveyed the waves for a while, trying to pick out the best place to enter the ocean.
“It’s not c
rowded for a good surfing day,” I said.
“People are still at church right now,” he said.
“People around here don’t go to church,” I said.
“Then they’re still sleeping. I don’t know. The point is, it’s prime time surfing, and the beach is clear. Doesn’t get any better than this,” he said.
“Then what the hell are we sitting here for?” I asked.
“Because you apparently want to watch the water without getting into it,” he said.
We grabbed our boards and headed down to the beach. The sand between my toes felt like silk, and I couldn’t help but think back to the way Stella’s body felt against mine. The sand molded to my feet the way her body melded to my thrusts, and I breathed in a sharp sigh of relief when the ice cold ocean water hit us. The last thing I needed was a raging erection in front of my best friend while we tried to surf.
“So,” Todd said as we floated in the ocean, “update me. Company’s good. Things with Stella must be good. Anything else happening?”
“I’m moving the office spaces for the company to above the store, so we’re easily accessible to our employees. Oh, and I signed our first recurring client Monday,” I said.
“Dude, you’re really rockin’ this thing. Any other run-ins with Greyson?” he asked.
I bristled at the mere mention of his name, and Todd caught my reaction. He glanced over as the waves became choppier underneath us, and I was glad when I saw Todd position himself on his board.
“Just pretend this wave is his face, and scrape the hell out of it with your board,” he said.
I gave a hearty laugh at the thought.
We rode the wave for a while before it threw me from my board, and I came up gasping for air. The water was ice cold, and it ripped the breath from my lungs. I shivered as I got back up on my board, and I scanned the water looking for Todd. I saw his board pop up from the water before he came up gasping for air, and I laughed as I paddled over to him.
“Holy shit, this water’s cold,” he said.
“That’s what you get for wanting to surf in an area that’s covered in shade 80 percent of the day,” I said.
“But the waves are awesome here today. We’ll deal,” he said.
“Greyson’s a dick, and I think he’s gone for good, thank shit. Stella had no business being with a dude like that,” I said.
“Well, I know you’re sleeping easier at night. Speaking of which, I’m sleeping a bit easier, too.”
“Oh, really?” I asked. “How so?”
“Happens when a beautiful woman wants to entice you,” he said, smirking.
“No, shit. Meet her at another one of your parties?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. Her tits are the perfect handful, and her ass goes on for days. And the way she moves in bed. Oh, fuck, dude. She’s incredible.”
“Sounds like you’re in love,” I said.
“Fuck no, man. Nowhere near it. She sucks great cock and has the tightest pussy I’ve had in a while, though,” he said.
“How long she been around?” I asked.
“A week. I’m taking her to a party tonight,” he said.
“Ah, well. Tell her I said goodbye. It was fun while it lasted.”
Todd shoved me off my board as I went under laughing. But, I was glad he’d brought the subject up. I wasn’t sure how I was going to segue into sex or anything like it, and I really wanted his opinion on the general situation.
I climbed back up on my board as the waves smoothed out below our boards, and I drew in a deep breath before I started talking.
“So, not going out as much means I’m either studying or watching television in my spare time,” I said.
“Sounds absolutely terrible. Anything interesting on TV?” he asked.
“The shows on there now are insane. Did you know there’s an entire show dedicated to weird sexual fetishes?” I asked.
“What kind of television are you watching?” he asked.
“The kind that comes on at 2 in the morning. That’s not the point. The point is, there was something on there that caught my attention,” I said.
“I’m not shoving a light bulb up your asshole, dude,” he said.
“Wait, what?”
“I watched some ER show one time, and the doctor was talking about how he always had a regular in the hospital. He’d come in with broken light bulbs up his asshole. Don’t do it, dude. It’s not a good road,” he said.
“I’m not shoving light bulbs up my ass,” I said. “I’m not doing anything like that. I just didn’t know shit like this existed.”
“Shit like what?” he asked.
“They had a stepbrother and sister on the show that were sleeping together,” I said.
He slowly panned his gaze over to me. The waves began to get choppier underneath us, and we readied ourselves for the wave. I rode it all the way inland while Todd got blown off his board, so I paddled back out to him to make sure he was alright.
“You good, dude?” I asked.
“Are you thinking of sleeping with Stella?” he asked.
My blood ran cold as we got ourselves back up onto our boards. Was I that obvious? Did I not do this right? Todd was my best friend. Maybe he could see through my ruse.
“Because that’s gross, dude. She’s your fucking sister,” he said.
“Well, the argument on the show was that even though they grew up together, they weren’t actually related,” I said.
“This another one of the weird things you’re going to study on the side until you know every damn statistic on it?” he asked.
“Dude, I’m just asking your fucking opinion. You asked me what I’ve been doing with my life, this is it. I’m not partying like you because I don’t have some laid-back schedule anymore, so at 2 in the morning I turn on the TV after studying, and that’s the kind of shit I get. You want to talk about it or not?”
“Fine, dude. Let’s talk about it,” he said. “It’s disgusting. He’s doing his sister. Related or not, that’s what’s happening. At least, that’s how I feel about it.”
“Alright. That’s all. Just trying to talk about shit that’s caught my attention is all,” I said.
“You doing alright?” Todd asked.
“What?”
“You doing alright? You know, with the business and everything.”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.
“I just don’t want to see you lose your happiness. You know, the life you wanted to lead. If you’re not happy, give the company to Stella. I’d rather see you happy than rich,” he said.
“I’m fine,” I said.
We surfed in relative silence, catching wave after wave while my mind swirled. There was a good chance Stella felt the exact same way Todd did, which made me the fucking freak. Maybe what we did was gross. Maybe I had just had sex with my sister. Maybe she fell asleep every night throwing up in her own mouth at the mere fact that I’d touched her, much less stuck my dick in her.
Maybe she was still plotting to take the company from me and would use this as leverage.
A wave rolled me over and dragged me under. I flipped and rolled as I held my breath, my board keeping me from hitting the ocean floor. I felt weightless in time, suspended in midair while the world around me continued to turn. I was immersed in a harsh sort of cold my heart now felt it was sinking into, and that’s when I realized that I was the freak.
I was the freak that wanted to keep sleeping with my stepsister.
I felt a hand grab my wetsuit and pull me up. I gasped for air, struggling to get to my board. The wind began to pick up, and the ocean tried to swallow us whole, and Todd urged me back to the sand as my mind came to a dead stop.
I wanted Stella.
And there was a good chance she didn’t want me.
“Why don’t we go get some food?” Todd asked. “You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”
Maybe Todd was right.
Maybe I just needed to hand the company over
to Stella.
“Sure,” I said. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Stella
I got up that morning with Christian on my mind. I smiled at the thought of him and relished in how wonderful it felt to have his arms wrapped around me in that park. His words had been so sweet, and his eyes had been so kind, and the entire weekend I couldn’t do anything that didn’t spark a memory.
Every color I saw reminded me of a trait of his body. The redness of my cheeks reminded me of the way his body flushed against mine. The blue of the sky reminded me of the adoration I saw twinkling in his eyes over dinner. The gray backsplash in my kitchen reminded me of the suit he wore to dinner that he had tailored just for me, and even the light streaming through the windows reminded me of the honey blond hair I couldn’t keep my fingers out of that night.
He had permeated every part of my existence, and I had freely allowed it to happen.
The woman’s words from the retirement home kept ringing out in my head. I drove through my favorite coffee shop and grabbed Christian something decadent as her wise words about love drove me to my end goal. I found myself wanting to do little things for him. Little things to show him that he was on my mind. I wanted him to know that I was thinking about him, that someone cared and wanted him around. That he was cherished by someone close to him. I wanted him to know that I supported him in the direction he was taking this company. And how much he had impressed me with how he had stepped up and into this role so easily.
I wanted to know if he was thinking about me the way I was thinking about him.
I needed to talk with him. I couldn’t go another day without Christian knowing how I felt. I wasn’t sure about everything right now, but I did know I enjoyed the time I spent with him. His body felt wonderful pressed against mine, and he made me feel safe. I did know I enjoyed dinner with him, and talking with him made my stomach flutter with nervousness. I was proud of him and that he’d opened my eyes to the way a man should treat the woman who was at his side.
In his life.
In his bed.
But, when I rounded the corner into his office, he didn’t even so much as look up at me. He didn’t move; he didn’t raise his gaze. Hell, he didn’t even stop writing.