by Diane Noble
“Your loss has been great,” Hannah said softly. “So many …” Her voice faltered. She couldn’t imagine the depths of the young woman’s grief.
“Hearing about the twins and the baby gave us a reason for getting through the tragedy,” Amanda Roseanne said. “We couldn’t rest until they were found.”
Hannah nodded, understanding, but now she worried that each child would go to a different family. “Will the children be kept together?” she asked.
Amanda Roseanne and her husband exchanged a loving look. “Yes,” the young woman said. “We plan to take all three.”
Hannah was glad, knowing the twins’ fears, but the deep sadness in her heart about losing Fae caused a sting at the back of her throat. She looked away quickly so that no one would see the tears threatening to spill.
“Please,” she said after a moment, “come in for a cool drink. I’ll give you the list of names and the locations of each child. You’ll, of course, want to see our little Fae.”
They started to walk to the front door. “Fae?” mused Matthew as Hannah opened the door. “We were told the baby’s name is Faith.” They stepped inside and followed Hannah to the kitchen.
As her visitors settled into heavy wooden chairs, she answered. “Her given name is Faith; Ellie Farrington insisted on that.” She paused a minute, laughing lightly. “But she’s so tiny and angelic, almost pixielike, that I nicknamed her Fae.”
She glanced at Amanda Roseanne. Little Fae would soon be hers, and Hannah hoped the name wouldn’t be changed back to Faith. The young woman seemed to understand Hannah’s heartache and gave her a gentle smile.
Hannah continued, “My brother called me Fae when I was a child, telling me it was because I reminded him of wee Kentucky fairies.” She felt her cheeks flush, and she wondered at herself for revealing something so personal to strangers.
Then she noticed Amanda Roseanne’s husband watching her intently. “That sounds a bit like Irish lore,” he said.
“We Kentucky mountain folk revel in our roots,” she said. “Irish, Scottish …” She shrugged. “… English.”
“Were you born in Kentucky?”
“Wolf Pen Creek,” she said, feeling proud of her heritage. “Though I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.” She laughed. “Most people have no idea what’s in our hills and hollers.”
His gaze was fixed on Hannah’s face. “Actually, I have heard of Wolf Pen Creek. And I know its hollers well.”
She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes in thought. “And wee Kentucky fairies?” She noticed something in his face that caused her heart to pound.
“Yes,” he said.
“And tales of Daniel Boone?” she breathed. Around the table, silence reigned except for the sounds of Hannah’s and Matthew’s voices. “And traces that were thought to be his trails?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes, Hannah,” he said. “I often followed those trails.”
“And once you followed them away from Wolf Pen Creek, never again to return?”
This time he didn’t answer but kept staring at Hannah, his eyes luminous. He gave her an imperceptible nod.
Hannah tore her gaze from his, almost afraid to breathe, afraid to believe. She looked at Amanda Roseanne. “You and your husband didn’t give me your last name,” she said, swallowing hard.
“McClary,” Matthew’s wife said. “We’re the McClarys.”
Hannah turned back to the young man. “Mattie?” The word came out more like a croak.
Amanda Roseanne and the major exchanged puzzled glances.
“Mattie McClary,” she whispered again, her voice trembling. “Mattie?”
He didn’t answer, but a wide smile, so like Hannah’s, spread across his face. For a moment, they stared at each other in wonder, then Matthew jumped up and grabbed her into a fierce embrace. “Hannah!” he cried. “Hannah!” He held her back and gazed into her face, touching her hair. “Look at you! All grown up. Oh, my little Fae!”
Hannah couldn’t speak she was so beset with questions and tears and laughter bubbling up together from someplace deep inside.
“You’ve no idea how I’ve tried to find you! I visited Nauvoo again and again, trying to find someone who knew you, who knew where you’d gone.”
Hannah touched her brother’s face. “And you, standing here almost as if not one day had passed between our days in Kentucky and now! Oh, Mattie, I’ve missed you so!” She threw her arms around him once more.
Matthew finally drew back to look at his wife. “Amanda Roseanne, meet my sister Hannah.” Then he turned back to Hannah. “Is Aunt Sophronia still with you?” he asked.
Hannah smiled and started to answer when Sophronia came around the corner, leading Fae by the hand. “Did I hear my name?” she asked as Fae lifted her arms to Hannah.
Matthew stood facing his elderly aunt, and Sophronia looked him up and down. “What is this good-looking young man doing in my kitchen?” There was a twinkle in her eye, and Hannah suspected that she’d overheard the ruckus and had waited to make her entrance, giving Hannah and Mattie some time to savor their reunion.
“It’s Mattie,” Hannah said in awe, now holding Fae in her arms. “Our Mattie McClary.”
For a moment Sophronia just stood staring at Mattie. “I’d have known you anywhere,” she said. “You look just like me, son.” And she gathered him into her arms. “The hair’s a dead giveaway,” she laughed, reaching up to give his wiry hair a playful ruffle.
When the excitement had settled, everyone again gathered around the table. Fae snuggled onto Hannah’s lap, staring wide-eyed at the strangers, her thumb in her mouth. After a bit of coaxing, she went to Amanda Roseanne and smiled up into her face.
The major finally cleared his throat to get their attention. His voice was much kinder now, and Hannah appreciated how he had slipped into the background during their reunion, allowing them time to rejoice and speak of the wonder of it all.
“We were told that you have a list of the children.”
Hannah nodded. “I’ve been watching over them carefully, keeping track of name changes and moves. There are seventeen—spread out through the territory.”
Major Middleton nodded. “I tried to get information along the way, but no one is volunteering anything.”
“They won’t,” Hannah said. “People are afraid to talk. The dangers are greater than you can imagine.”
“We got nothing from the investigation last year. And now, with all the talk of secession, the United States has other problems to at tend to. Utah is at the bottom of the list—no matter what happened at Mountain Meadows. That’s part of the reason it’s taken us so long to get started on this mission.”
Hannah was appalled. “You mean they don’t care?”
“It’s not that they don’t care. There’s a presidential election coming up. And the country is ready to split. It’s a matter of priorities.” His weathered face softened. “We understand you might want to come out with the children,” he said. “There’s room in the wagons—for you both. I know a certain young man who’s waiting at Fort Bridger for you and your aunt to join him.”
Hannah met Sophronia’s hopeful look.
Her aunt answered for them both. “Yes,” she declared. “We’ve been waiting for this day. God bless you for coming at last!”
Major Middleton gave them each a curt nod, though it was more military than unkind. “We will take your information and gather the children. We’ll return by the end of the week. Can you be ready?”
“We’re ready now,” Hannah said with a smile, then paused. “But maybe I should accompany you. The children know me. They won’t be so frightened if I’m with you.”
“I agree,” said the major. “An excellent solution.”
Then Hannah glanced across the table at Amanda Roseanne. “If you would like to stay here with Sophronia and little Fae, you would have a chance to rest from your journey—and also to become acquainted with your new daughter.” She smiled, trying to cover the hu
rt those three words—”your new daughter”—brought to her heart.
Amanda Roseanne seemed to understand her pain. “I would like that very much,” she said softly. “Thank you.”
Within the hour, Major Middleton, Matthew McClary, and Hannah drove off in the carriage, followed by the soldiers. One week later, all seventeen children had been found and brought to the ranch. Belongings were packed into two supply wagons that waited outside, horses and teams were rounded up, and early the following morning, five ox-drawn, high-arched outfits awaited their passengers.
Mattie helped Hannah into the lead rig. As they awaited Sophronia, Amanda Roseanne, and little Fae, he followed her gaze to the house by the meadow. “You’ve never told me what you think will happen to John Steele. You said only that he’s gone into hiding on order of Brigham Young.”
“No one outside the territory knows the part he played … knows that he was the Danite leader who planned and led the attack,” she mused. “As long as no one talks, he’s safe. As soon as word spreads, as I’m sure it will with all that Lucas is doing, the whole Church will be brought to trial. Dozens of Mormon men were in on the killings, and they must be held accountable for the murders.” She spoke with fervor, just as she always did when the subject was raised.
“Will the Church protect him?”
For a moment Hannah didn’t speak. “It’s rumored the orders to kill the Farrington party may have come from Brigham himself. And now the Prophet has to protect John in order to protect the Church. Either that or he must let John be the scapegoat for the Church … for them all.
“Meantime, Brigham has given John a post to keep him from talking to any government official who might come here to investigate. He’s been sent about as far from civilization as a body could get. And I’ve heard he’s taken Harriet, his first wife, to live with him. They’re on a desolate farm out by the Green River.”
Her voice grew quiet. “It is a comfort to know that, in the eyes of the United States government, I was never John Steele’s wife, if only because he was already married to Harriet.”
“So, he didn’t come back here—I mean, after the massacre?”
Hannah was touched by the concern in Mattie’s face. She shook her head. “Only once, and Sophronia chased him off with her rifle.” She smiled. “I don’t know if the reason John never returned was because of God’s intervention … or his fear of Aunt Sophie.”
“Maybe both,” Mattie said with a grin. By now Amanda Roseanne, with Fae in her arms and Sophronia by her side, had joined them. Mattie helped them into the wagon then turned to mount his horse.
Soon the caravan pulled on to the trail to begin the long journey north and east. The troops accompanied them, and two long lines of horsemen flanked the small company.
Fae reached her arms up to be held by Hannah, and she scooped the child close to her heart. Across from them sat Sophronia, Amanda Roseanne, and the twins, Sarah and Meg.
Fae, who bounced Phoebe on her lap, had already begun her endless litany of questions. Sarah and Meg moved closer and, with serious expressions, tried to answer each one. Hannah met Amanda Roseanne’s gaze across their bent heads. The young woman seemed to be lost in some serious consideration. Hannah figured that the duties of taking on three children might be weighing heavy.
The wagon rattled along, swaying in the ruts, and Hannah thought about Ellie’s final plea, that Lucas and Hannah find her children, find all the children. Though separated by a continent, together they’d done it. Lucas had remained in her heart and prayers during those years apart, and now the prospect of seeing him again at Bridger caused her heart to soar.
She looked out the rear opening of the wagon. Dust rose in billows, almost obscuring the view of the John Steele ranch. The pond sparkled in the sunlight, and in the shadows of the trees lay Ellie Farrington’s grave. But Hannah was leaving it now—her life with John Steele and the Saints—and the past was as dead as that grave. A new life, a new beginning, lay ahead, as bright as God’s promises.
She touched the small leather journal in her pocket. She’d brought it to give to Amanda Roseanne and Mattie to save for the Farrington girls.
As the house she’d shared with John Steele disappeared from sight, Hannah thought of one of the entries she’d read so many times in recent months that it seemed printed indelibly on her heart:
“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”
Then Ellie had added beneath the Scripture verse: “Each new day begins afresh with God at my side. He is my constancy in an ever-changing landscape. I don’t know about my tomorrows, but I know they belong to him. And all I know of my yesterdays is that he tells me not to remember them. They are his as well, to heal, to redeem.”
The wagon swayed, and Hannah caught her balance. Around her the children were chattering about the journey ahead, and Sophronia and Amanda Roseanne were talking amiably about life in California and how it wasn’t too late to cross the Sierra Nevada Mountains. The sounds of horses’ hoofbeats pounding the trail, the creaking of wagon wheels, and Mattie’s voice as he bantered with the troops mixed together into what Hannah thought was the most beautiful music in the world.
THIRTY-ONE
Fort Bridger
June 1860
The small wagon company wound through the mountains leading into Fort Bridger. Hannah wasn’t surprised when she saw how it had changed during the years since she’d last seen it. The original outpost had been destroyed by the Mormons during the months they had waged war against the United States. All that remained now were a few half-built, rough-hewn log cabins and a sprinkling of tents. It was still early in the season for most westward travelers, but a few trains of settlers circled in some nearby grassy fields, resting before continuing on the California-Oregon road.
As the small outfit pulled into their night circle, Hannah watched for signs of Lucas Knight. There were none. Leaving Fae in Amanda Roseanne’s care, she mounted one of the mares she and Sophronia had brought along and rode through the other wagon camps, asking at the tents and cabins if anyone had seen Lucas. The answer was always the same: No one had seen someone of his description pass through.
Heavy-hearted, Hannah turned back to camp. A big moon now hung in a black velvet sky. She walked a distance from camp, near a small creek, trying to sort out her feelings. She had some decisions to make, and she’d hoped that once united with Lucas, they could consider them together.
Matthew and Amanda Roseanne had just that afternoon made a surprise announcement. They planned to leave the small company the following morning and strike out for California. They told her it had been their plan a few years back, before the massacre. Now that they were this far west, it seemed the perfect time to go. They’d asked Hannah and Sophronia to come with them. Hannah saw a new spark of life in her aunt’s eyes at the mere mention of California, and she knew the trip would be a new beginning for her as well.
So as Hannah looked up at the moon, drank in the fragrance of the pine smoke, and listened to the now-sleepy voices of the children readying for bed, she considered the trip to California. Mattie and Amanda Roseanne were family, and though the twins had readily flown into their arms, little Fae had no intention of accepting anyone else but Hannah as her mother. How could Hannah possibly think of letting Fae go to California without her?
The crunch of footsteps on the pebbly ground drew her attention to the path. “Hannah—?” Amanda Roseanne said her name softly.
Hannah turned, smiling as the dark-haired woman walked closer, pretty even in the moonlight. Already she loved her as the sister she’d never had.
“Hannah, I need to talk with you about Fae,” Amanda Roseanne said solemnly.
Hannah let out a deep sigh. She’d tried very hard to let the young woman mother Fae, knowing she was rightfully Mattie and Amanda Roseanne’s.
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br /> Amanda Roseanne smiled, almost as if reading Hannah’s thoughts. “I’ve watched you with Fae. She’s enough your child to have been born of your womb. I can see the love between you.”
“I love her with all my heart.”
“That’s why you must continue as her mother. If I took her from you now, she would be confused. I don’t know that she would ever get over it.”
“But we can’t separate the girls. They need to be together—”
“She belongs to you, whether or not you say yes to this. But,
Hannah, please come to California with us. We can live near each
other. The children can be together every day. Fae will be yours.
Besides,” she said, “you and Mattie have just found each other. Please
come with us. You, Aunt Sophronia … and Fae.”
“Let me consider it… pray about it… tonight,” she said softly. “I’ll let you know in the morning.” Amanda Roseanne turned to leave, but Hannah caught her hand to stop her. “You have given me the most precious gift in the world,” she said. “Thank you.”
That night as she lay on her pallet under the stars, she tried not to think that Lucas could be half a continent away. If she went to California, it might be months, perhaps years, before they met again. If she returned east to join Lucas in his fight for justice, she would be taking little Fae away from her sisters, her family.
She knew, even as she breathed a prayer asking for wisdom, what her answer needed to be. She would go to California to begin a new life, and though Lucas Knight had been in her heart for nearly as long as she could remember, she needed to let go of him and let God take care of her tomorrows. And his.