by Lynn Galli
“Hey, beautiful,” I greeted her smiling face.
“Hey, yourself.” She leaned in for a kiss, setting off a tumbling routine inside my stomach. Too quickly, she ended it with a look over my shoulder, expecting Caleb to come barreling down the hall.
“He’s sleeping over at Hank’s tonight. They’re headed out with Lucille’s son to the Redskin’s game tomorrow afternoon.” Her eyes flashed, a sexy smile slinking across her face. She was trying to give my heart a workout without any exercise. “We’re all alone?”
“What shall we do?” I asked with a mischievous lilt.
“I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” Her tone was seductive, husky, something I’d only heard glimpses of thus far.
On jellied knees, I turned and pulled her with me toward the kitchen. “Hope you’re hungry, Mona.”
She huffed an amused breath. “All the way out to the M-O names now, can’t be many more to guess.” I was going to retort that it’d be months before we’d get through all the names starting with M, but she distracted me by sidling over to brush against me.
“Dinner in, huh?”
“We can hit a movie later or drinks somewhere. I think a new play just opened at the Paramount.”
“Dinner, then we’ll figure it out.” She grabbed the salad and brought it over to the table. “Aren’t you exhausted? You had one more class than I did this term, and I’m still grading finals.” I nodded with a soft laugh. “Pretty tired, yeah. I’m looking forward to the break, even though going home takes some energy, too.”
“Are you sure about this?” She’d been asking this question ever since I first brought up the trip.
“Honey, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I love you no matter what. They want to meet the woman I love, but they can wait.” I locked eyes with her to make sure she knew I meant it, then joked, “Not too long, though. You don’t want Sadie getting on a plane. She’ll bring at least three of her five kids just to torture you.”
She laughed at the threat. “I can’t believe Megan’s family wants to meet me.”
“They’re part of my life, not only because they’re Caleb’s grandparents and aunts, but because they’ve always treated me like their daughter. They want the same opportunity to know you that my parents will have.”
She nodded nervously, digging into dinner as a diversion from what must be a scary topic for someone whose family consisted of one person who died too early in her life. We ate in silence for a while, table manners and the daunting notion of meeting the family of the woman she was involved with keeping us quiet.
After dinner, we loaded the dishes into the dishwater and headed into the living room. I changed the music in the stereo and sat next to her on the couch. This was nice, sharing an evening together. I’d missed this the most about my marriage.
Everyone always thinks they’d miss the sex or having someone to help make decisions or get through the difficulties in life or a companion to go places with. I missed the simple intimacy of sharing thoughts and opinions. With or without touch, it never mattered.
M shifted a bit until her shoulder nestled in against me. With a slight turn, her thigh touched the length of mine. I became hyperaware of how each little touch could make my skin dance.
“Thanks for making me dinner, Bri.”
“You’re welcome.” I smiled at her formality. “Did you want to go out?”
“Not really, unless you want to.” She wrapped a hand around my arm.
“You look beat.”
“I am, but this is too good to cut short right now.” Her smile was irresistible this time. Especially when it turned sly and came closer. Her lips pressed against my throat and nipped lightly up to my jaw. The heavenly pressure started a shiver that didn’t seem to want to stop. Only recently had I found out that my neck was her fetish. Well, fetish wasn’t quite right, but like me with her legs, she never failed to touch it and often her lips would find their way to my neck. I hadn’t told her that it was an instant trigger spot for me. I didn’t want to pressure her by telling her that every time she brushed her lips or fingers along the column, I’d be on fire, ready to jump her if that’s what I thought she’d want.
When she shifted again and brought her torso against mine, I couldn’t suppress the moan. Her mouth hesitated on its journey to my lips before I tilted to kiss her. One moment she was on the attack, the next I was. Tasting her, just a hint of the dinner’s flavor still lingering, satisfied me completely. When her tongue darted along my lower lip, I moaned again before it plunged inside. The constant back and forth of aggression and yielding was always my ideal. Most relationships required one or the other.
With M, both emotionally and physically, she seemed to like the give and take as much as I did.
The hand curled around my arm slid onto my stomach. Our kiss deepened as her touch set off a blaze so hot I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to douse the desire this time. It roamed gently then skimmed upward, a thumb brushing against the swell of my breast. After a few seconds, her palm and fingers slid up to close over my breast. I groaned loudly, arching into her hand, not fully realizing just how much I needed this.
“Okay?” She pulled back to glance at me. Our code word for:
“Do you need me to stop?” Usually, I was the one asking.
“Yes. Are you?” I thought her eyes showed the same desire I felt, but this was a huge leap for us.
“I want this. Before we leave. Before I meet your family.” My heart pounded so hard I thought it was trying to make a break for it. What I’d thought was a further exploration of touch had just turned into a precursor for sex. As much as I wanted to make love with her, I needed her to know that timing alone wasn’t the right reason to take the next step. “I want whatever you want, M. But meeting my family shouldn’t be part of this decision. Caleb’s staying with his grandparents, and we’ve got a two-room suite, so no one’s going to know about our sleeping arrangements. There’s no pressure.”
“I want you, Briony,” she stated without trepidation. “You’re gorgeous and so damn sexy. I just want to be like anyone else in a normal relationship.”
Normal was an important word and concept to her. I’d never liked the word myself, but I understood that her definition was different from mine. I’d hoped for the chance to be sexually intimate with her, but she’d already given me so much without it.
“I love you, and you’re incredibly sexy, too. So much it hurts not to touch you sometimes. If you’re sure, you set the pace. Anytime you want to stop, we stop.”
Her eyes showed equal parts gratitude and desire. Fire blazed so hot inside me I thought I might singe her fingers. She stood and reached to pull me up with her. Unsteadiness shook my legs as I felt the weight of responsibility for being someone’s first, for hopefully erasing the memories that plagued her. I should be the self-assured one. Instead, she was guiding me to my bedroom with what I hoped wasn’t the false confidence I’d seen her display in front of her colleagues and my friends.
“May we turn on a light?” Anxiety marked her question as we entered my room. “I don’t want it to be dark.” I squeezed her hand and pulled her with me to turn on the bedside lamp. A soft glow spread around us. I recognized some of that false bravery in her even without the word choice she’d used.
“Is there anything else you don’t want? You can tell me whenever something makes you uncomfortable, but if there’s something I need to know now?”
She shook her head, looking away for a moment. “Just don’t…hold me down.”
“Honey.” I tilted over to reestablish eye contact. My insides tightened at her request. “We love each other, and we’re about to make love. Nothing about this is going to be like what you’ve known. I trust that about you. I need you to trust that about me.
At any time, you can tell me to stop what I’m doing or stop completely. Please, tell me you get that?” She slid her arms around my waist and gripped tightly, releasing a shaky breath. “You’re ama
zing, Briony. I’m so fortunate to have found you.”
“I feel the same way, M.” And I’d put words in her mouth before, but I felt more sure of her love than if she told me every day.
She tilted up to kiss me, reigniting the flame of passion I’d felt back on the couch. Her hands slid to my hips and underneath my turtleneck, pressing against my abdomen as they moved upward to take the garment with them. I raised my arms to help her shed my shirt. Her eyes slowly moved from mine down to my mouth and onto my neck before finally landing on my bra. She let out another shaky breath at the sight of the pink lace. My nipples hardened under her gaze, and I mimicked her unsteady exhale.
Pants now unbuttoned, they practically flew to the floor as excited about this as I was. “Sit,” she requested with a voice that sounded like it came from a dry mouth. She knelt before me and reached to unzip my boots and take them and my pooled pants off. Now in only my underwear and she fully clothed, I couldn’t remember feeling more vulnerable in my life.
Hungry brown eyes quelled some of the nerves as she pressed me back against the bed, following to kneel over me. Fingers pressed against my lips then traced down my neck and into the groove between my breasts. Gooseflesh rose in their wake, and my body squirmed under the examination.
I reached up and gripped a button on her shirt, an unspoken question in my eyes. She nodded before returning to record every ridge and plane and valley of the skin on my torso. In no time I’d stripped away her shirt only to be tantalized further by the silky stretch cami that lay underneath. Cranberry in color, I was so happy to see that she wore color close to her skin. She bent upright to pull the shirt from her shoulders in haste before slanting back to continue with her exploration. My fingers unhooked her slacks and pushed them over her hips. She didn’t seem to want to help me, but my insistent groan got her to briefly pause and go up to her knees, pushing her slacks off those incredible legs. I barely got my fill of her chic hipster undies before she pushed up onto her fists above me.
Holding steady for an interminable length of time, she nearly made me beg before she lowered her body to mine. “God!” The sudden burst of breath carried her exclamation, and it rebounded inside my head. Her face, which had tilted up at the shout, dropped back to kiss me with the passion of her exclamation.
I wrapped my hands around her waist and let my fingers search under the cami while her lips worked a spell on my own.
Her warm, smooth skin acted as a magnet for my fingertips. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to pry my hands away from her.
Especially not when her mouth caressed mine with a proficiency that could make me sit up and beg. And her hands, meandering with purpose now, left no spot untouched on my upper body.
Teeth grazed my bottom lip, nipping softly. Coupled with a delightful squeeze of my breast, I went a little wild, clutching her to me and rolling us over. She stared at me, eyes wide with surprise but nothing in them told me to stop. Leaning up on my elbows, I looked down the length of her, spending a little extra time on her fantastic legs, relishing the feel of her stretched out beneath me. When I could tear my eyes away from the provocative flare of her hips and toned legs, I concentrated on the small breasts just inches from my own. An overpowering need to get to them forced my hand under the clingy silk and up to grasp the treasure I knew awaited me there. As soon as the firm flesh filled my hand, I felt her body still. I glanced up and watched as the light in her eyes dulled.
“M? Stay with me.” I requested, fearing she’d just checked out.
“I am,” she replied immediately. Then, with what seemed like a programmed movement, she brought her hands up to my breasts.
I bit back the hiss of pleasure, not wanting to let her sidetrack me. Releasing her breast, I hoped to jolt her into abandoning her automatic responses to either our position or my actions. “You look like you want to escape. I need you to stay with me, be here with me for this. If you want me to stop, tell me. It’s okay.” She turned her head away on the pillow, clenching her eyes shut. When she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse, assuring me that she’d snapped out of whatever trancelike state she’d entered when I’d touched her breast. “That’s not fair to you.”
“Honey, having you here is like a dream.” I nudged her chin over to look at me. “We don’t have to do anything else. Just don’t slip away inside your mind. Be here with me. Please try.” M nodded, focusing on me with cautious eyes. “Maybe if we just…”
She hesitated so long I had to prompt, “What? Please tell me. You can ask me for anything.”
“I don’t want to be cruel to you.” She looked away to mask the frustration. I drew my fingertip down her nose to get her focus back. “Maybe if we just slept, I might be able to…”
“Sleeping sounds wonderful, M. Whatever you want,” I assured her when she couldn’t finish what she thought she might be able to do. Rolling to the side, I tried to ignore the throbbing ache from unfulfilled desire. I’d meant what I said about being happy to have her here with me, in bed, out of bed, just so long as she was nearby. I let out a deep breath to calm my racing heart and turned to face her. “Do you want—” Her hand slipped into mine, cutting off my question of whether or not she wanted to be in my arms. She tilted toward me and wrapped her other hand around my arm. “You’re so beautiful.” Her lips brushed against mine in a soft kiss.
I wanted to gather her in my arms, but this had to go at her pace. The fact that she was settling in to sleep with both hands on me gave me everything I needed. “This is beautiful, M.” Falling asleep with the woman I love. Yes, beautiful was the right word.
Chapter 35
Sometime later, I awoke to pitch darkness. I rarely woke at night unless Caleb was sick or had a nightmare. Only Caleb wasn’t here, and neither was M. Before the dread set in, I heard the faucet turn on in my bathroom.
“M?” I called through the door after a quiet knock.
“Come in.”
She was rinsing her face when I opened the door. I tried not to focus on the curve of her ass as she leaned over the sink because I was being good, but it wasn’t easy. And let’s not discuss her sleekly muscled legs. Be good. Killer legs. Be good!
“Sorry, did I wake you?” she asked after patting her face dry.
“Couldn’t sleep, honey?”
“Bathroom break. Then I forgot I hadn’t washed my face or brushed my teeth before we went to bed. I never really thought about the logistics of…”
“Sleeping with the person you love?” I finished for her with a gentle smile.
A becoming shade of crimson crested along her cheekbones.
“Yeah,” she confirmed, setting my heartbeat into a gallop. “Hope you don’t mind, but I swiped a new toothbrush out of your drawer.”
“You’re welcome to anything.” I grabbed my own and stood at the other sink.
In the mirror’s reflection, she watched me brush my teeth.
Her hand darted out to graze my shoulder. Those slender fingers glided over my skin until one hooked under my bra strap. “You can’t be comfortable,” she guessed.
I waited for her fingers to make the move toward the bra clasp, but they merely slid across my shoulder blades to brush against my nape. It probably didn’t occur to her that she could take off my clothes even if we weren’t about to have sex. She had no frame of reference for intimacy. If it took years, I’d make sure that we changed that about her.
“I’ll put on a t-shirt. Are you warm enough?” I stroked her bare arm, trying to keep my eyes from staring at the beaded nipples making themselves obvious under her cami. I could be good, if I focused on something else. What had we been talking about? Oh, yes. I tugged gently on her arm to bring us both into my walk-in closet. Rummaging through my shirt drawer, I picked out two long sleeved shirts and held one out for her.
“I’m fine, thanks.” She turned to give me privacy, but I pulled her back.
“It’s okay to watch me change for bed.” I loved the shy smile she gave me. It told me she
wanted to be there, but she hadn’t known she could be. “In fact, it’s okay to help.” I flaunted a sure grin meant to ease some of her seriousness. “Relax, honey, I can manage on my on. For now.”
I reached around and unhooked my bra, letting it slip down my arms. Her eyes flared before blinking twice then closing slowly.
If it weren’t for the ragged breath she let out, I might have felt a little insecure. But the suddenly unsteady woman in front of me said I had nothing to worry about. My first time half naked in front of a woman in nearly four years, and she couldn’t look without needing a moment to regain composure. Yeah, that’ll do.
Once the collar of my shirt had cleared my head, I saw that she’d opened her eyes again. The color returned to her cheeks, not in embarrassment but the flush of excitement. “Shall we try to get back to sleep?” I asked, knowing it was still a few hours until morning. As exhausted as she’d seemed, I doubted the three hours we’d had would be enough.
“Okay.” She hesitated before stepping backward then changed her mind and stepped toward me. Her hands grasped my hips, and she tilted up to capture my lips. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Thank you for tonight.”
“Wow,” I whispered the exclamation. “You’re awful good at that.” I kissed her again, just enough to rev up my heart but not enough to unleash my lust for her.
Twirling her around, I pushed to get us moving back to bed.
We slid under the covers and scooted closer together. She turned on her side again and reached for my hand. “Let me hold you?” I formed a question out of my request.
It was too dark to make out her features, but I could tell she wanted to. After reaching both arms out and a few awkward adjustments where she attempted to hold me to her on her side, she sighed. “I don’t know how…”
“Here.” I stretched my arm out on top of her pillow, swallowing the lump in my throat. She’d never experienced this simple closeness before. “Slide over, put your head on my shoulder and wrap your arm around my waist.” She followed my instructions and tentatively added some of her body weight. “That feels nice. You good?”