by Sky Corgan
"I brought my lunch." He holds up a brown paper bag. "Want to eat in my car?"
It's a strange request. We usually either eat in the small lunch room provided at Environ Design or at one of our desks.
"Why don't we just eat here?" I move some papers off of my desk so that we'll have room.
"I'd kind of like to talk to you." His eyes shift towards Tyra's office.
"Alright," I hesitate, figuring that he remembers what he did and wants to apologize for it. There's no need for that though. Carefully, I reach out to take his hand, smiling at him softly. "We don't need to talk about things, Derrick. It's alright. I understand."
"No, you don't." He shakes his head and pulls his hand away from me to rake it through his hair. Stress is apparent on his face, and it's starting to make my worry.
"We can go out to your car then." I nod before gathering my lunch and bottled water and following him out the door.
The inside of his car is cozy, and it smells like his cologne. I sink into the seat and immediately begin unwrapping the sandwich I brought for lunch. In the small space, there doesn't seem to be much air, but I know that's only the tension between us starting to get to me.
"I think we should talk." Derrick stares straight forward. His voice is all seriousness.
"Okay. Talk."
He turns to me, commanding my attention. What he says next is entirely unexpected, and it takes my breath away. "I love you, Amy Underwood. I'm in love with you. I think I've loved you for a very long time."
My cheeks immediately flush bright pink, and my appetite fades away from the conviction in his words. I don't know how to respond.
His gaze falls to the space between us, and he chews his bottom lip for a moment. "Are you going to see Reddick today?"
"Mhm," I squeak.
"I want to come with you."
"You can't." I shake my head. The thought of him demanding to come with me sends my heart into a fluttered panic, and I don't know why. "As long as Lucian is still under contract, I want to try to keep things cool with him."
"I don't want you to be alone with him again." Derrick looks back up at me, his tone firm.
I sigh, trying to find some way to explain myself without offending him. "This is bigger than both of us, Derrick. Keeping Lucian Reddick as a client is important for the entire company. We could really make a lot of money if he stays on until the end."
"I don't care." His shoulders slump a bit. "I don't care about Lucian Reddick. I don't care about the money. All I care about is you. I don't want you to have to suffer through what he puts you through, and I damn sure don't want him advancing on you again. Just the thought of it makes me..." He turns his face away from me.
"Angry?" I duck down a bit, trying to catch his gaze.
"Jealous," he corrects me. "I know you're attracted to him, and I can't blame you for that. But he's hurt you. He's hurting you. I want that to stop. I want to make it better."
My chest floods with warmth from his words. He wants to protect me, but the choice is out of his hands.
I press my back against the car seat, thinking. My mind is a mess of confusion as I try to process my feelings and also consider what would be the best thing to do. He's right about Lucian hurting me over and over again. There's no relationship potential there, just sex. Lucian already thinks he has me hooked in, that he can use me as a sex vending machine. Whether I get into a relationship with Derrick or not, that needs to stop.
"I want to do this for us," I tell him. "There has to be a way to keep Lucian as a client without giving in to him."
"There's not." Derrick shakes his head. "It's gone way past that point. When you went out with him this past weekend, it was proof that he has you right where he wants you. Guys like him don't take no for an answer, not without pitching a fit."
He's got that right. It didn't take long for me to realize that the word no isn't in Lucian Reddick's vocabulary. He's a master of seduction and getting what he wants. It's almost infuriating how many times I've fallen for it.
"You have to let me try. That's all I ask."
"And what if you fail?" his voice is laced with desperation. I can clearly hear that he doesn't want me sleeping with Lucian again—for any reason.
"Then I'll end the contract with him myself." I feel a tightness in my chest. The thought of never seeing Lucian again hurts me somehow. It's probably just because he's so beautiful though, the type of man I'll never have a chance of being with again.
My heart knows that letting him go is the right thing to do. I just need to convince my body of that.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I've felt nervous every single time I've stood on Lucian Reddick's doorstep. Never like this though. Tonight, it seems like so much more is at stake than just my job. If I cave in to Lucian's demands, I'll hurt Derrick greatly. More than that, he might not want me anymore. Why would he? It would be like I had made my decision, like I had chosen between them.
Logic would put me on Derrick's side every single time. But Lucian has an incredible talent for zapping all of my logic away, for whittling me down to nothing but carnal desire and instinct. I hate him for it, but it's also a large part of his appeal.
"Miss Underwood." Lucian beams at me when he opens the door.
Holy shit, he's half naked again. That's not going to make things any easier.
I do my best to keep my gaze locked on his face as I step inside. Anything below that, and I'm going to start getting those horrible stirrings again—desire to see him naked—desire to feel him between my legs.
"You should put on a shirt," I grumpily comment as I head to the dining room to boot up my tablet.
Today, we'll be going over furniture selections for the rest of the house. It helps to put my mind at ease to know that the process is almost halfway over. If he didn't want to personally go pick out the furniture with me, it would be more than that. All I'd have to do is order the furniture, have the old furniture removed and be there when the new furniture was delivered and placed. Things are never that easy with Lucian Reddick though. Never.
For the next thirty minutes, we go over all the selections I've made. Lucian is more nit-picky than usual, and I tolerate it, feeling tense the entire time. I know that the meeting will eventually melt down into something sexual. It always does.
We finish working, and I begin shoving my tablet back in my purse. Lucian stands, and I feel my entire body go on edge, fearing that he's going to try to touch me.
"Would you like something to drink?" he asks.
"No, thank you. I spent all day yesterday recovering from a hangover. The thought of ingesting alcohol isn't exactly appealing right now." I secure the tablet and pull my purse strap over my shoulder before getting up to leave.
"Something to eat, then?" His blue eyes already look dark. It's their pre-lustful state. He's trying to get me to stay so he can seduce me afterward. I've spent enough time with him to know how this game works.
"I ate before I came. I'll see you tomorrow, Lucian." I move to show myself out, but Lucian catches me by the arm, pulling me back.
"You look like you're in a hurry." His smirk is almost feline. This is where the manipulation begins.
I sigh, showing my obvious disinterest. "I just came here to do my job, today."
"Tired?" He sneaks around me, sliding his hands up over my shoulders to knead into the muscles there. It feels heavenly, but I know better than to fall for his tricks again.
I step out of his grasp and roll my shoulders, turning back towards him and crossing my arms in front of me. "I'm fine, just looking forward to sleeping."
"I could help tire you out more."
"As I said, I'm fine," my tone is firm.
He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Is something the matter?"
I exhale deeply. "Are we really going to go through this again?"
"Go through what?"
"Listen." I draw a hand up to my forehead as if he's giving me a headache. "We've had fun together. We
really have. The sex was amazing, and I gave your world a chance. But I don't fit into your world. I know that now."
"You seemed to be having a good time at Fleshfest." He places most of his weight on one foot.
"The best time I had there was when we were in the liquid latex booth." I stare at a mirror on one of the walls, not wanting to look him in the eyes for fear that something inside of me will crack, and I'll start to break down again. For some reason, every time I tell him I don't want him anymore, it hurts. Maybe because I know that eventually he'll accept it. "I felt like I had finally seen a real part of you, who you really are, beyond all of this." I gesture absentmindedly to our surroundings. "A side of you that's happy and can laugh and have fun without always being consumed by thoughts of sex."
"Consumed by thoughts of sex," he parrots back, sounding amused.
"It's everything you do around me." I shake my head. "You're surrounded by it. Even at Fleshfest. When I went upstairs and saw you with that girl. When we went into the dungeon. I can't be that twenty-four seven, and I know that's what you need."
"Wow. You seem to know me really well for someone who hasn't known me for very long." The sarcasm in his voice is palpable.
"And now you're pouting." It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. "Look, I don't know how to say this any clearer. We're oil and water."
"You're right." His lips quirk into a grin. "We are oil and water. I like being on top of you."
"Oh my God!" I burst out laughing, my serious stance faltering for an instant. He's incorrigible.
"Amy." His expression is sincere. "I think you're taking this thing between us a bit too serious."
"And you're not taking it serious enough," I snap, then instantly recoil, surprised at how quickly my mood shifted from his words. I need to tread carefully if I want to keep him as a client, but being calm is difficult when he thinks it's alright to play with my emotions. "You shouldn't even be angry at me for not wanting to sleep with you."
"And why is that?" He's still grinning, which is starting to piss me off.
"Because I caught your warning in the limo. What was it you said, I make people beautiful, but I also destroy beautiful people?" I pretend like I don't know it verbatim, but that little phrase has haunted me ever since the last time we saw each other.
He finally deflates a bit, glancing towards the dining room table and looking distant for a moment.
"You were telling me to stay away from you. And now you're trying to drag me back in. You can't play this push and pull game anymore. It's not fair to me, and I won't stand for it." My confidence is bolstered as I realize that I've struck a nerve with him. For once, he's not trying to counter me. He's thinking about what I've said.
"Amy." His teeth clip his bottom lip for a fraction of a second, drawing my attention to his mouth. "I have a hard time letting people get close to me, especially people like you."
"People like me?" I quirk an eyebrow.
"I can't really explain right now."
"Well, you don't have to explain ever because whatever was going on between us is over. I'm seeing someone else."
His entire body tenses as if I've just slapped him. "You're seeing someone else?"
I hug myself protectively. "Is that so hard to believe?"
"No." He shakes his head. "It's not hard to believe at all, actually. It is a bit disappointing though."
"Well, it is what it is." I take a step backward towards the door.
"Who is he?"
"What does it matter?" I gesture into the air, thinking that in normal circumstances, he couldn't hope to know who the other guy is.
"It just does. That's all." He shifts his weight.
"He's a nice guy. Sweet. Vanilla." For some reason, I think that last word is particularly important. It tells him that my fake boyfriend is his complete opposite. He kind of is. Derrick and Lucian couldn't be much more different from each other. The only things they have in common are that they both dress well and both have a penis. That's where it ends.
"It's not that Derrick kid, is it?"
My mouth falls agape at his blatant guess. Not only that, but the sarcasm that comes with it. Once I recover from being surprised, my body stiffens in defense, knowing he's probably going to have a mouthful to say on the matter.
"It is Derrick, actually."
He laughs incredulously, making a spectacle of it, like what I just said is the funniest thing he's ever heard. The entire time, I stand there glaring at him, waiting for him to stop. Everything in me wants to walk out of his house and not look back. Could he be any more of a dick?
"Oh, wait. You're serious." He points at me and then laughs some more. I bite my tongue while he recomposes himself. Venom is just behind my lips, waiting to be spat at him. "You did notice that he's a little..." Lucian makes a limp hand gesture. If I wasn't so pissed at him, I might have found it cute for him to strike the gay pose. It looks so unnatural.
"A little what?" my voice raises in challenge.
"Oh, come on Amy, you can't tell me you don't get the same read on him." His body slumps forward in exaggerated disbelief.
"Um, for your information, I've known Derrick for five years. I think I know him better than you do."
"Fine. Fine." He holds up his hands in defeat. "I must have been completely wrong in what I thought you were into. Had I only known, we would have been doing anal." He bursts out laughing again.
I growl in exasperation, pissed off to the max. What a pompous asshole. Finally at my wits end, I head for the door, completely done with everything to do with Lucian Reddick. Tomorrow, I'll have Tyra transfer his project to someone else, whether he wants me to or not. I refuse to work with him any longer.
I don't even look back, his mocking laughter playing in my brain like the worst soundtrack ever. I hate him. How I ever found him attractive, I don't even know anymore. Derrick was right. Lucian is about as ugly on the inside as ugly can get.
I open the door and gasp as it's pulled out of my hand, shutting loudly in front of me. Before I even know what's going on, Lucian is on me. He finds my wrists and grabs them, pushing them up above my head and pinning me to the wall. Part of me wants to scream, but I refuse to give him the pleasure of thinking that I'm intimidated by him.
"What in the hell is wrong with you?" I practically spit at him.
"Do you really think I'm that fucking blind?" His eyes rove over my face. They're dark, lustful. Seducing me didn't work. Now he's in complete predatory mode.
"Let me go, Lucian." I don't bother fighting him, knowing that there's no point.
"You don't want that kid. He can't do to you the things that I do. He can't make you feel the way that I can." He leans in to kiss my neck, and I lift my knee up between his legs, nudging his crotch threateningly. If I was smarter, I would have just kneed him in the balls and made my escape. As it is, I'm giving him a chance to subdue me more, not because I want it, but because I don't want to hurt him.
"You're right. He can't. But he's a decent guy, and that's more than I can say for you." My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I can hear it in my ears. The situation is so intense. I have no idea what he's going to do next. Things could get really bad, really quickly.
Lucian pulls away from me. I expect him to still look lustful, but his gaze has softened. Instead, he seems a bit defeated. This is a side of him that I haven't seen before, and I don't know what to make of it.
"You can't see him anymore. I forbid it." It sounds more like a request than a demand. I'm not sure if it's meant to turn me on or anger me. It does neither. Instead, I see a great opportunity to use his words against him.
A giddy feeling swirls in my stomach as I stand up on tiptoe to whisper into his ear. He loosens his grip on my wrists, perhaps expecting that I've given in to him again. "You don't get to make that decision because I don't belong to you, Lucian."
CHAPTER TWENTY
Even though Lucian has a hold of my wrists, I don't feel powerless. In fact,
I feel like my defenses are more powerful than ever before. Not only have I been able to resist him, but I've also lashed out at him.
It's over between us. It's truly over. When I walk out his front door in a few minutes, I won't be coming back. Ever. The spell is broken. I'm free from the magnetic chains he's wrapped around me, pulling me in again and again.
"You're clever." He looks me over. I can tell that he's impressed by my emotional jab at him.
"I'm leaving." I apply force between his legs until he winces and lets me go, stepping away with an expression that suggests he's surprised I'd go so far as to hurt him to gain my freedom.
I wrap my hand around the doorknob and open the door, expecting the winds of liberation to sweep over me. Instead, I'm met by a woman. A gorgeous blonde bombshell in a short red dress and sunglasses.
"Oh," she sounds startled, her hand poised to ring the doorbell though she quickly drops it to her side.
I turn briefly to look at Lucian, and he's already standing behind me, his hand clutching the side of the door to open it wider while he smiles at her. For the shortest of moments, jealousy rages through me. But then I remember that I don't care anymore. I certainly shouldn't be surprised that he was sleeping with someone else the entire time that he was sleeping with me. That's just the kind of man he is.
"Hello, Lora," Lucian greets the woman. "Could you give us just a minute? I'll be right out."
"Certainly." She beams at him, her cherry lips parting slightly to reveal two rows of immaculately white teeth.
"It's fine," I begin to say, but the second my foot leaves the floor, Lucian is pulling me back into the house and closing the door behind us. I spin on my heels to face him. "What in the hell is wrong with you?"
"Amy, please." His expression is pleading. "Please stay. She's a client of mine. This will only take a moment. I really want to talk to you before you leave."
"We've already talked." I raise my hands as if I want to strangle him. I kind of do.
He gently places his hands on top of mine, curling my fingers. "Please. I won't advance on you again. I promise."