by Tina Beckett
He stood to his feet, fingers fisting around the phone. “Hello?”
Her voice finally came back. “I’m sorry. I was just checking something. I have a note here to let you know that Dr. Kline is still with her. Chloe has a migraine compounded by a stomach virus. She’s getting some IV fluids, but she should be fine in a few days.”
The wave of relief that went over him made him collapse back into his chair, even as the nurse’s voice continued. “Would you like me to get Dr. Grimes? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind stepping out—”
“No, thank you. I’ll speak with her another time.” The churning in his gut told him he was in no shape to talk to Maddy or anyone right now.
He pushed the end button on his cell phone. Then, looking at Grace’s picture one last time, he lifted the paperwork in the bottom drawer and gently laid it back in its resting place. He had his answer, and he knew what he was going to do. Chloe was perfectly fine. This had just been an ordinary migraine. But he knew that his reaction today would be the same every single time something happened. He would blow things way out of proportion and fear the worst. And doing that would help no one. Not him. Not Maddy. And certainly not Chloe, who deserved to grow up in a secure household, free from a neurotic mess of a man. A man who couldn’t seem to shake his demons no matter how hard he tried.
Finally talking his legs into getting up from his chair, he slowly walked out of his office and headed for the nearest exit.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HER MOM’S COAXING had finally worked. Maddy was back in Gamble Point. She and Chloe.
Maddy needed time to heal. To think about where she’d been and where she wanted to go. So far, though, nothing had clicked into place.
Chloe tugged at her hand as they stood in the kitchen. “When are we going home? I miss Aunt Roxy, and Kaleb hasn’t called me. Not even once.”
Maddy gritted her teeth, but somehow managed to force out a cheerful answer. “I know, honey. But I’m sure Dr. McBride is busy.”
So far he’d been “busy” every time Chloe had asked about him over the last two weeks. It had been a lie, but one she’d been forced to repeat time and time again. In reality, she had no idea if he was busy or not. In fact, she had no idea where Kaleb even was, and she didn’t care.
Her mom was thrilled to have them back. Only the house she’d grown up in didn’t feel very much like home anymore. She hadn’t made a definitive move yet, as far as making any kind of decisions, and she wasn’t quite sure what she was waiting on.
A miracle?
Well, that ship had already sailed.
Kaleb had rejected Chloe in her hour of need and, in doing so, he’d rejected her too. She’d warned herself time and time again that she was allowing Kaleb to get too close, and was letting her daughter get too attached. And yet she’d allowed things to continue, going as far as to let the man stay in her house—while her daughter was in the other room.
How could she have been so very stupid?
He’d called the nurses’ station to check on Chloe, yes. At least according to the woman who’d been manning the main desk. But when asked if he wanted to speak to her, Kaleb had said no.
No!
Although the attending pediatrician had suspected meningitis at first, Chloe’s headache had been nothing more than one of her migraines combined with a stomach virus. But what if it had been something more serious? Kaleb hadn’t been able to bring himself to travel two floors to the pediatric wing to check on her.
She was sorry his daughter had died. Sorry that he blamed himself for what had happened. Lord only knew that she was still dealing with the aftereffects of Matthew’s suicide. But she was finally ready to move forward, and she’d hoped that Kaleb was too.
But if she’d needed to know how he would respond in an emergency, she had her answer. He would withdraw into a shell and then walk away without a word. The same way he’d walked out of the hospital that day.
Her mom came into the farmhouse, a basket full of tomatoes in her arms. Maddy took them from her and set them on the counter. “You shouldn’t be doing that by yourself.”
“And you should unpack your bags. You’ve been here for two weeks, honey. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were waiting for someone to come and take you back to Seattle.”
“Of course I’m not. I just haven’t gotten around to it. That’s all.”
She wasn’t waiting. Because even if Kaleb showed up in the flesh, she doubted he could convince her to go back with him, unless he got down on bended knee.
And maybe not even then. So why was she picturing him doing just that?
Her mom came over and pressed her cheek against hers. Maddy breathed in the familiar scents that she’d grown up with: rich soil, fresh vegetables and her mom’s lilac perfume. Good clean smells that should be welcoming and comforting. And they were. But more as a landing pad to get her bearings before being shot back out into the world. Only this time she had no idea where she would wind up. Maybe she should just stay here in Gamble Point. Her mother would love it.
As if reading her mind, her mom gave her a quick hug. “Why don’t I give you some time alone to work through some things?” She held out her hand to Chloe. “Do you want to go help your grandma feed some chickens?”
“Yes!” Chloe started to run toward the door only to stop and look back at her mother, as if uncertain if Maddy would be okay by herself.
Her eyes flooded with tears. Her daughter should not have to worry about anything more than chickens.
She forced herself to smile. “Go ahead. Maybe we can go get some ice cream when you come back.”
With that, her mother and her daughter went out the door hand in hand.
A deep ache settled into her chest. Where was she going to go from here?
Back to Seattle? And see Kaleb there and wonder why he hadn’t been able to see past his own hurt to someone else’s?
Ha! As she’d done? She hadn’t been able to see past what Matthew had done all those years ago. Instead, she’d assumed that Kaleb—and every other man—would do the exact same things: abandon her and Chloe in their hour of need.
Hadn’t Kaleb done exactly that?
Yes. He had.
Roxy had told her not to leave. To give him a chance to realize he’d been wrong. “He’s a groveler, you know. Deep down, he is. You just need to give him some time to get those old knee hinges oiled and back in working order.”
Instead, Maddy had packed her bags and had left Seattle, turning her caseload over to other doctors. She’d wanted to hand in her resignation, but the hospital administrator had asked her to take a few weeks of personal vacation time instead.
So that was what she’d done. She’d left Jetta in the care of Roxy. Just in case.
And her bags were still packed in her childhood bedroom. Why? Did she really expect Kaleb to swoop in on a white horse and rescue her?
No, because she didn’t need rescuing. She was a strong woman who’d done just fine on her own. But what she’d wanted was for him to come through for her. Had felt as if she needed him to.
Except she was afraid that Roxy might have been right for once in her life. Maybe she hadn’t given Kaleb enough time to deal with everything that had happened between them.
Should she go and storm back into his life, demanding that he hear her out? And if, afterward, he said he didn’t want to make room in his heart for her and Chloe?
Well, then he could damn well tell her that to her face.
Oh, yes. He definitely could.
That was why her bags were still packed. Because she wasn’t quite ready to give up on the place—or the person—she’d left behind. Not until she knew for sure that it...that he...didn’t want her to stay.
She could start by calling an end to the private party she’d been
having in Pity City and making a plane reservation for the earliest possible date.
She was still on the phone with the travel agency when the doorbell rang. She glanced at the back door, hoping she’d see her mother outside, but there was nothing but acres of crops there. The henhouse was about a hundred yards to the south.
Damn.
“I’m sorry. I’ll need to call you back in a few minutes.”
It was probably either a delivery or one of her mom’s field workers with a question. Sliding her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, she headed for the door. She swung it open, ready to tell whoever it was that her mom was out feeding her chickens, except it wasn’t a worker.
And it wasn’t a deliveryman, but he was carrying a small bag.
Kaleb.
She blinked. Opened her eyes.
Nope. Still there.
“May I come in?”
She swallowed. How could he be here when she’d just been thinking of him?
“Of course.” She stepped back so that he could come inside. “What are you doing here?”
He set the bag on the floor. “I’ll get to that. First, is Chloe okay?”
For a split second, she thought something had happened out in the chicken coop, then realized he was just asking in generalities. Her voice cooled. “Yes. She’s fine. But of course you know that.”
“Roxy filled me in on what happened. I’m sorry I left the way I did.” He toed the bag, but his eyes didn’t leave hers.
If he thought she was going to make this easy for him, he was wrong. Yes, she’d been ready to go back to Seattle and demand an explanation, but some of her resolve was wavering now that they were face-to-face. Still, she had to see this through, so she took a deep breath and let him have it.
“You hurt me, Kaleb. You hurt Chloe. We needed you, and you walked away.”
He nodded. “I know. And I have no excuse, other than to say it’s the first time since Grace’s death that I’ve had to face the possibility of losing someone else I’d come to care about.”
“So you thought it was better to turn your back on us instead?”
“Yes. It was stupid and cowardly, but I was also afraid that my past might poison anything we could have together. As a family.”
“A family?” Her heart skipped a beat. “I don’t understand.”
“Every time Chloe feels an ache or has a simple headache, I can’t guarantee I won’t leap to the worst possible conclusion. The thought of forcing you both to live in fear—to witness what I become during those times...” He stopped, a muscle working in his jaw. “I thought it might be in everyone’s best interest if I just left you in peace. But the reality is, I couldn’t bring myself to stay away. And when I went to find you a few days later, they told me you’d left.”
“You didn’t try to call.”
“No. I told myself I had my answer. I should just let you go. It was better for everyone.” He took a step forward. “But I’m not so sure that’s the truth. Because it’s not better for me. And I’m hoping it’s not better for you.”
She swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Would it change things if I told you I love you? That I love Chloe?”
She wanted nothing more than to fling herself into his arms, but she couldn’t live with someone who burned hot one minute and cold the next. She’d been there, and it pretty much sucked. “And the next time Chloe has a migraine? Or a stomachache? Will you leave again?”
He reached out and took her hand. “I’m not going to lie, Maddy. It’ll scare the hell out of me. And I’ll want to run. Every single time. You’ll have to help me not to.”
“How will I do that?”
A tiny thread of hope began unwinding in her heart, just like the string on their kite at the festival. He loved her. He’d admitted it. Wasn’t that enough?
He reached into the bag at his feet and pulled out two small jewelers’ boxes. They were identical in every way. He held one out to her. “Open it.”
Heart pounding, she took the box from him. Clicking up the lid, she found a heart-shaped ring nestled in a bed of gray velvet. “I don’t understand.”
He took the box from her and unearthed the ring. “It’s a promise ring. A promise that I’ll stay, no matter how scared I am. No matter how tough the road ahead might seem. A promise that I’ll be there for you. And for Chloe. The second box has a ring just like this one. For her. Roxy gave me your sizes.”
“But how...?”
“She called your mom, who measured your fingers while you slept.”
Maddy glanced at the door. “She knew you were coming. That’s why...”
All that talk about unpacking suitcases had been just that. Talk. Her mom and her sister had known what she wanted before she did.
She loved this man.
But could she trust him? Could she believe he would be there for her and Chloe, no matter how hard it got? She took the ring from his hand and toyed with it. She caught a glint of something inside the band. She turned the ring to the light to make it out.
My heart. My love. My life. No matter what.
Her eyes prickled, moisture coming to them and then spilling over.
Kaleb touched the second box. “Chloe’s ring says the same thing. But I wanted to talk to you alone before she saw it.”
“Roxy was in on this?”
He nodded. “I tracked her down when I couldn’t find you. For a week, she refused to return my calls, and when she finally did, I had to convince her that everything I just told you was the truth.” He smiled. “She put me through the wringer.”
Maddy could well imagine. Was that why Roxy had told her he was a groveler? “What did she make you do?”
“You’ll see in just a minute.” His fingers reached out for hers again, twining their hands together. “I asked Roxy to call your mom and have her take Chloe outside, in case you told me to get the hell out of here.”
He lifted her hand and kissed it. “I’m hoping you’ll ask me to stay instead.”
Maddy scrubbed her palm over her face before closing her fingers around the ring. “I’m not going to ask you to do that. I want you to go.”
When he flinched, she hurried to cup his face in her hands. “You misunderstood. I want you to go, because I want to go with you.” She closed her eyes, love and relief pouring through her. “I want to go home to Seattle.”
He didn’t move for a long second, and then he was crushing her to him, kissing her, murmuring words she didn’t understand with her ears, but felt with her heart.
When he finally let her come up for air, he took her right hand and slid the ring over her finger. “So is this a yes?”
“It is. Roxy promised me you were a good groveler, but that you were just a little rusty. She was right.”
He smiled. “Ah, so that’s what she meant. She told me when the time was right I would understand.” He reached back into the bag and pulled out an old-fashioned oil can. “She told me I should take this can and apply the contents liberally.”
“I bet she did.”
Kaleb tunneled his fingers through her hair. “She was right. I’m a great groveler, and I plan to grovel for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me. I love you, Maddy.”
“I love you too. But maybe we’ll keep the oil can around, just in case.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him close. “Take us home.”
“I need to tell you something that might make you change your mind.” The words were hesitant enough that they made her lean back to look at his face. “I had genetic counseling after Grace’s death and it confirmed I carry the gene for retinoblastoma. I promised myself I wouldn’t have any more children. If that makes you decide you don’t want me, I’ll understand.”
Did he really think that made any difference at all? Maybe she wasn’t the only one who needed reassurance.
“There are other ways to have children. Or not. Whatever we decide about that, it won’t change the way I feel. Ever. I want you. I always will.”
He pressed his cheek against hers, the way her mom had done just moments earlier. Only this time she felt moisture on her skin. Tears. And just beneath the salty tang, she caught the faint medicinal scent carried by hospitals everywhere, and Kaleb’s musky aftershave.
But most of all, he smelled like Home.
EPILOGUE
THE KITE HUNG suspended from the ceiling in Chloe’s room.
Gone was the tiny twin bed in the revamped study of Maddy’s old place. A year’s worth of hard work and counseling on Kaleb’s part had brought him to the place where his heart no longer clamped tight in fear whenever Chloe got one of her headaches or Maddy’s asthma came out to play.
Even before he finished therapy, though, Maddy had allowed him to put a simple gold band on her left hand, a sign of faith that she believed he was there to stay. And he was. He’d moved them into his apartment. Jetta was probably the hardest sell, but even the cat had decided the new digs weren’t all that bad. Especially with the catwalk Kaleb had installed on the veranda, which gave him a wonderful view of the city below.
Chloe was at school until four o’clock. They’d taken full advantage of that time together, since time was in short supply these days. He tightened the towel around his waist and surveyed Maddy’s handiwork. She’d made his house a home. And not just for him.
Right on cue, a sharp cry shattered the peaceful atmosphere. Making his way down the hallway, he intercepted Maddy, a bottle already in her hand.
“We timed that just right, didn’t we?” Her grin was aimed at the towel.
“I don’t know if it was our timing, or if she was just having mercy on us.”
Together they went into the bedroom of another little girl. Rosa Jane. She wasn’t theirs, but she’d already won over their hearts.
Kaleb wouldn’t have any more biological children, but that didn’t mean that he and Maddy couldn’t provide love...and a secure home for children in need. They’d become foster parents, and Rosa Jane was their very first charge. If things went the way they hoped, she might even become a permanent member of their family.