by Maggie Ryan
“Yes… no…”
“Babe, that’s not exactly an answer.”
“Yes, I feel better in that I don’t feel like I’m about to pass out, but no, I still feel awful inside. I treated you like shit. I accused you of things when all you were doing was your job. But-but most of all, I’ve made you doubt yourself. I’ve heard you start to say the word ‘promise’ and yet you don’t finish it. You change it to something else. You didn’t break your promise… I did. I promised to trust you and the first time you needed me to, I failed.”
“Oh, Zoya, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want to use a word that…”
“That I threw into your face,” she said, not allowing him to sugarcoat it. “I… I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
Stryder wanted to assure her that she hadn’t failed and yet all he had to do was look into her eyes to know that his words would not penetrate the guilt she felt. She looked so utterly… Lifting her, he moved her off his lap and when she whimpered, he said, “It’s okay, I just can’t get my wallet.”
Jumping off the table, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Withdrawing a folded piece of paper, he looked to where she was kneeling, her eyes on him.
“You asked me why I chose you that night, do you remember?” She nodded and he began to unfold the paper. “I knew the moment I looked into your eyes. I knew before I ever got on that plane to Russia.” Glancing down at the photo, the lights from the stable allowing him to confirm what he’d seen only moments before, he said, “The instant your photo appeared on the monitor, I knew I had to save you.” He handed her the paper and though she appeared a little startled to see her image, she looked back at him without speaking, clearly not understanding.
“You had the same look I saw in my mother’s eyes and knew that this time, I couldn’t fail. Zoya, I knew you belonged to me and I promised myself that once I had you in my arms, I’d do whatever it took to keep from seeing that hopelessness ever again. I love you. God, I love you so much it hurts.”
“I love you, too.”
He’d told her his story, not seeking her forgiveness for the things he’d done. He’d made those choices and would live with them. Yet, those words filled his heart and he felt a sense of utter peace that he’d never known. Reaching for her, he pulled her from the table and into his arms, where she belonged. She clung to him, her lips soft against his as they kissed. When he scooped her off her feet, cradling her in his arms, his intentions were to take her to bed and kiss every inch of her body. However, it became clear that she had other plans.
“Adira told me that it is the submissive who has the power.”
“Oh, she did, did she?”
“Yes, is it true?” Stryder nodded and she gave him a soft smile. “In that case, and only this once, may I ask a favor?” He nodded again. “Will you take me to the playroom? Though I don’t mean to play. I-I need you to spank me until I don’t feel so guilty.”
“On one condition; after I blister your ass, you let me love you until neither one of us can move.” This time it was Zoya who nodded and he grinned. “I need to hear your answer. Do you accept my condition?”
“Yes, Sir, with my whole heart, and might I suggest you walk a little faster?”
Stryder’s laugh echoed in the night, knowing that he’d have to work with her so she understood the proper hierarchy in a Dominant/submissive dynamic. But there would be time enough for that. Hopefully a lifetime. For now, he was more than willing to take her suggestion.
Chapter 20
Zoya gasped the moment he carried her into the playroom and flipped on the lights. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined what she was seeing. It wasn’t the fact that the room had stone walls or that stalactites dropped from the ceiling to meet stalagmites rising from the floor; she had seen the same in the other rooms within the cavern system. What took her breath away and had her heart pounding were the manmade items. Though she recognized the bed, some chairs, and a few benches as being furniture that wouldn’t be out of place in a person’s bedroom, some of the apparatus she had no clue as to their purpose. And the wall… oh God, it was covered in things that had the skin of her ass crawling. Paddles of every shape and size hung from hooks, racks held lengths of wood… canes, but her eyes locked onto a grouping of hooks from which various lengths of leather hung. Memory of a whip cracking in the air to land against her bare flesh bloomed in her mind and a gush of moisture filled her panties. Unlike the night of the auction, she had no desire to flee, only the need to experience everything this man could teach her. If that made her weird, then so be it.
“Zoya?”
“Hmmm?”
“Babe, you need to listen to me,” Stryder said, his tone sounding far more amused than she thought it should be since she was going to be punished. That had her snapping her attention from the wall to concentrate on him. Looking up, she saw him grinning.
“Oh, um, sorry, Sir. I’m just a little…”
“Hey, you don’t need to be frightened. Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want—”
“Oh no, I mean…” Knowing that she needed to be absolutely clear, well, as clear as her racing mind could be, she took a deep breath. “I’m not scared, Sir. I’m a bit overwhelmed but only because I want to try everything but don’t know where to start.”
His deep laugh had her flushing and giggling. “Babe, you are amazing and I promise, you’ll have a chance to experience everything you desire, but for now, we’re going to start with the spanking you requested.”
“Okay. Are you going to use one of those?” She used her hand to sweep in the air, indicating the choices mounted on the wall.
Stryder chuckled again and shook his head. “We’ll see, but first, let’s go over a few standard rules of conduct, shall we?” With her nod, he moved away from the wall and set her on her feet by the door. “While I assure you that there will be a great deal of playing done here, this room is referred to as the dungeon.”
Zoya could easily understand that dungeon was truly the only word to describe what she was seeing. Recalling reading a history book that described instruments of torture from eons past, she remembered that unlike most of her friends, who had been horrified, she’d been fascinated. Not at the text that told of the torture of innocents all in the name of some religious cause, but at the illustrations accompanying the text. Her eyes slid to one corner that was dominated by a huge wooden X and another rush of moisture filled her sex. God, forget weird, Stryder was going to think she was some sort of deviant when he…
“Ow!” She reached back to rub at the stinging spot and looked up to see Stryder shaking his head.
“Have you heard a single word I’ve been saying?”
“Um… yes.”
“Really? Hmm, then do you care to explain why you aren’t already naked and bringing me the cuffs, spreader bar, nipple clamps and butt plug I’ve requested?”
When had the room become so hot? She could feel the heat consuming her as her mind reeled, repeating the words he’d just uttered. Reaching for the hem of her dress, she had pulled it halfway up when suddenly she froze. “What? Nipple clamps… a bu… butt plug? I-I…”
He laughed and reached for her arms, tugging her dress from her fingers to allow it to fall into place.
“Finally, something that got your attention,” he said with a chuckle. “Tell me, what’s the last thing you really heard me say?”
“You said this is the dungeon?”
“Wow, that was several minutes ago. Where were you?”
She couldn’t stop the smile or the giggle as she shrugged and turned to point to the corner. “Sorry, the word dungeon had me thinking of history and then, well…”
“All right, let’s do this another way.” Stryder went to the wall where he’d flipped on the lights and opened a panel. Within moments, the lighting in the room changed, corners darkened, and equipment became nothing more than shadows. Even the wall of implements was no
longer truly visible though she stood only feet away from it. The only area remaining illuminated was a grouping of chairs. Stryder returned and took her hand, leading her across the room. He took a seat in a large chair with no arms, and opening his legs, he pulled her to stand between them.
“We’ll start again and this time, young lady, lack of attention to your Dominant will earn you additional strokes on your ass. Understood?”
Zoya wasn’t sure if it was the lighting change or the fact that they’d moved away from the wall, but was absolutely positive that the difference in his tone had captured her complete attention. The moment he reminded her that he wasn’t just Stryder, but her Dominant, she only had eyes and ears for him.
“Yes, Sir.”
“As I was saying, I understand that it will take time, and several trips to the dungeon for you to automatically assume the proper positions and attitude, but I don’t want you to stress. I’m not an ogre and won’t be jumping down your throat when you make mistakes. It’s all a learning process and I will answer any questions you—”
“Oh good, so…” His expression and his sigh had her pausing. “Um, I’m guessing interrupting is not allowed… Sir?”
“Definitely not a good idea, especially when you are about to be punished.”
She felt her cheeks heat again and was about to apologize but decided that giving a firm nod would relay that she was both apologetic and understood.
“Good girl. Questions are welcomed and will be answered but, and listen closely, only when we are playing. When we are here to address naughtiness, there won’t be any questions necessary. You’ll know that you are here to be punished and will need to trust me to make any and all decisions about how that punishment is to be delivered, which will include not only position and duration, but what, if any, implements will be used other than my hand. Is that clear?”
She nodded, her butt clenching a bit.
“Zoya, when asked a direct question, I expect a verbal answer. That way I’m sure there is no misunderstanding.”
“Oh, then, yes, Sir, it’s clear. You are in charge of everything to do with spank… spankings.”
“To clarify, I’m in charge of spankings as well as any other form of discipline I believe is required to teach you a lesson or relieve you of the guilt you are experiencing. Understood?”
She didn’t completely understand what he meant by other forms of discipline, but she did know that she trusted him implicitly. “Yes, Sir.”
“We’ll be discussing rules, expectations, and you’ll choose a safeword before we do any play, but for now, are you ready to start?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Tell me why I’m going to punish you, Zoya.”
Well, she thought she was ready but hearing the question threw her for a moment until she remembered that even when she had been bent over the fence that first time, he’d asked her questions… several in fact. Still, that didn’t make it any easier to stand here in front of him, confessing her crimes.
“Because I asked you to spank me?”
“Are you answering my question with one of your own?”
“What?” When she realized that was exactly what she’d done, she shook her head. “I didn’t mean to.” Shit, would she always sound so ridiculous when he was simply doing as she’d requested? Taking a deep breath, she tried again.
“You are going to spank me because I asked you to when we were at the picnic table.”
He smiled and gave her hands a squeeze. “Relax, babe. You’re right but I need to know why did you ask me to spank you?”
There were so many answers swirling about in her head, but she gave him the one that she knew spoke of why. “Because I’ve felt awful from the moment you stood outside my bedroom door and tried to talk to me. I’d just treated you so awful and yet instead of just leaving, you wanted me to know that you’d be back and that we’d talk. You wanted me to take care of myself when you were the one going into danger. You-you cared more about me and how I felt than about the way I’d made you feel. And when you came back, you weren’t angry. You held me and kissed me and I knew Jennie was right. You’d already forgiven me and yet-yet I can’t forgive myself.”
He released one of her hands to wipe away a tear that she wasn’t even aware was sliding down her cheek. Just the fact that he was so caring had her adding, “Please, Stryder… Sir, please help me… spank me.”
“I will.”
With those two words, she gave herself over to him completely. When he guided her back and then pulled her down over his left thigh, she reached forward, gripping the rug she just now noticed covered the area.
“Lift up,” he instructed as he began to pull her dress up and when she obeyed, the fabric bunched at her waist and her panties were lowered to rest at her knees. The pressure of his palm against her bare bottom had a shudder running through her and yet not a flicker of fear accompanied it.
Even knowing what to expect, the first swat had her gasping. It was followed by one to her other cheek, both instantly stinging. Determined to accept the spanking with dignity, she closed her eyes and unclenched her fingers, flattening her palms against the floor. His hand continued to swat, moving from cheek to cheek, the sounds of each individual stroke surprisingly loud, one’s echo about the cavern not yet faded before another followed. As her bottom begin to truly burn, she felt her determination slipping away. By the time she lost the battle to remain silent, she was not only positive that she’d never sit comfortably again, she didn’t give a damn if she sounded like some big baby.
“Ow! Please! Ow, it hurts!”
It was as if her breaking her code of silence had been what Stryder was waiting for. The next smack was delivered as he began to lecture.
“Spankings hurt. They are meant to make your bottom burn. They are supposed to turn your ass very, very red.”
Zoya was quite positive her butt had to be crimson, as it felt like the flames one would see in a fireplace. And yet, it evidently wasn’t quite red enough as he continued.
Smack! Smack!
“The intent is to make sure that the next time you decide to make bad choices, you’ll remember that doing so will have you right back over my lap getting your bare butt spanked again.”
Smack! Smack!
“And, young lady, just like you can be assured that I will keep my promises…”
Smack! Smack!
“You can be assured that every spanking I deliver as discipline, will hurt.”
Smack! Smack!
“I’m sorry!” The spanking he’d given her over the fence had been nothing. This was a spanking. Her ass was on fire and yet his palm kept falling. “Please! That’s enough! I’ll be good…”
Smack! Smack!
“You are good, but what you won’t ever do again is shut me out. You won’t run from me, you’ll run to me. You won’t bottle up your feelings or your fears, you will share them with me. I love you, Zoya, and am here for you for everything, and if it takes me spanking your ass every day until you accept that fact, then, young lady, that is exactly what I will do. Is that clear?”
“Yes! Yes, Sir! It’s clear!”
“Good, then let’s finish.”
Finish? Oh, God! She was positive that her butt was going to burst into flames at any moment and he wasn’t finished! Zoya discovered that she didn’t need to worry about her butt as Stryder lifted his knee, tilting her forward. The reason for the move became instantly clear when his hand slammed into the spot where her butt met her thigh. She’d never felt anything like it. Her head reared back and her legs kicked up as she wailed.
Evidently, he didn’t care about the position of her head or her cries because all he did was lay his right leg over both of hers, pinning her in place as his hand continued to fall. It took only a few strokes before she collapsed, no longer twisting or attempting to get away, her fingers no longer threatening to pull every fiber from the rug free. Though her tears continued to fall, her feet stopped drumming against the fl
oor as she finally and fully accepted her discipline. She allowed every smack, every flash of pain to drive out her guilt, to cleanse her of the awful feelings she’d harbored until with great sobs, she felt herself being lifted, repositioned on Stryder’s lap, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his voice uttering soft words of comfort as she sobbed against his chest. There was no doubt that her ass burned, that the tops of her thighs stung as if she had sat in a bed of nettles, or that she not only accepted the fact that he’d forgiven her, she was able to forgive herself.
Zoya had no idea how long they sat there as she gradually quieted, her sobs became hiccups and then sniffles. His shirt was soaked and wrinkled from where she’d been clutching it and yet he’d never said a word or tried to hurry her up in regaining her composure. With a final sniffle, she sat back, wincing a bit as the move put pressure on her butt as she looked up.
“Better?”
“I think you’d better clarify the question,” she couldn’t help saying. “If you’re asking if I feel better inside because my guilt is gone, then the answer is yes. However, if you’re asking if I feel better outside then, Sir, all I can say is thank you.”
He grinned. “Thank you? For the spanking?”
She smiled back. “I mean thank you for not using anything on that wall. Your hand, Sir, is more than enough.”
Stryder laughed. “You’re welcome, but just know that if you ever give me cause to give you a serious session, items will be coming off those hooks.”
“A serious session? You’ve got to be kidding!”
“Nope, this was just a standard over the knee spanking. There are countless positions you’ll be learning if you aren’t careful… some for fun, of course, but I’m talking about what will happen if you’ve really earned a more severe punishment.”
Zoya would never understand it—her ass truly did ache and yet she felt a dribble of moisture flow from her core. Not wanting him to think she wasn’t paying attention, she nodded. “Yes, Sir, but may I ask a question now?”