by Mila Summers
"But you can't forget about yourself and your own needs. Are you happy with him?", she asked the key question.
"Oh, Lindsey, I don't know. It's all so confused and complicated."
"Come, you go on into the living room. I'll make us some tea and bring it in. There should be some cookies in the cupboard."
I never would have thought it possible, but by moving in with my former classmate our relationship had improved immensely. What we hadn't been able to achieve during our entire time during school had grown here in a few weeks. Genuine and true friendship.
"And you actually haven't slept with each other yet?" she asked me straightforwardly when I had ended with my view of events. That seemed to be the most important point of my story to her. The part where Samantha threatened me at work was apparently less interesting.
"Right," I confirmed tersely.
"Insane. That's a real challenge for a man. Don't misunderstand me, but it's been a long dry spell for him."
For us both, I added in my head. I had already worked out my feelings about it. Although I wasn't worried he would find satisfaction elsewhere. I didn't see him that way. But if he held me off for a long time, I couldn't guarantee anything. Surely his intentions were only the best but it could be overdone.
"What's bothering you the most? That thing with Samantha?" she hit the mark.
"Yes, that's it. That's worrying me the most. What if she makes good on her threats and finds a way to tear us apart?" I revealed my worst fears.
"She won't do that. You love each other. She's lost all credibility with Mitch. Don't worry."
"From your mouth to God's ears."
"We don't need to trouble God. Believe me, everything is going to be fine."
How she was so certain, I didn't know. However, it was simply too tempting not to believe her. To hope and not have to be afraid. Hopefully I wouldn't lean too far out of my protective bay windows.
Chapter 17
Now where was my charger? This constant packing was getting on my nerves. Mitch had barely found a job in Chicago when he asked me to move into his parents' house. He surely meant to be kind but it wasn't an option for me.
In order not to pick a fight about a shared apartment again, I told him I would like to stay with Lindsey and Noah during the week. On the one hand, I would be closer to work and on the other, I wouldn't be exposed to Samantha's looks more often than I already was.
Mitch accepted the excuse and since then he regularly picked me up at home on Fridays after work. Most of the time we spent marvelous days alone in a small vacation house in Lake Forest, we went walking on the beach, and just enjoyed the time together.
This weekend, however, would be different. It was Abigail's birthday and she had invited family and friends to a cozy garden party at the house. It was meant to be a pleasant evening. Although I doubted it would be when I remembered that Samantha would also be there.
Of course, I could have declined to go, but Abigail had grown close to my heart in the last several weeks. I wouldn't be able to disappoint her to that extent.
Aunt Anne had always tried to replace my mother but had never entirely succeeded. She may have approached it with too much stubbornness. In contrast, Abigail listened to me and was a good friend from the beginning. I felt safe with her and was happy to know she was on my side.
The bell rang and I still didn't have all my things ready. I would stay with the Havishams for three days. At the thought of potential discord with Mitch's ex, my courage vanished and I would have liked to ignore the ringing bell. I thought about Lindsey's encouragement and finally took heart.
"Hello, sweetheart, here you are. I thought you had forgotten our date," Mitch reproached me lightly.
"Hey, no, come on in. I only have to pack a few more things. Today, I got out of the museum a little later than usual. Would you like something to drink?" I anxiously replied, trying to push aside the growing storm clouds.
"Don't be stressed out, sweetheart. But before you finish packing, I would like another kiss from you," he laid a hand on my face and kissed me gently on the lips. His touch made my skin tingle and a growing warmth infused my entire body.
I wrapped my hands tightly around his neck and pressed close to him. At this moment, everything was perfect, there were no obstacles, no evil dragons to kill. I could shut down completely and give in to the moment.
I would have liked to pull Mitch, who was still standing in the door, into the apartment, push him into my room, lock the door, and throw away the key. But I did none of that.
After an eternity, Mitch lifted his lips from mine and said, "A lemonade would be just the thing after your sweet lips. Do you have any in the house?" he moved his tongue suggestively over my mouth.
I blushed at his innuendo and stepped away from the door so he could come in. The air between us crackled audibly. How long would this last? What was he waiting for?
In the kitchen, I gave him his drink and withdrew to my room. My hormones were on a roller coaster ride and they would have preferred to be focused on other things. Keep cool, Stacy, the day will come, I tried to reason with myself.
Abigail had really surpassed herself. The garden was even more colorful than just the usual effect of the many beautiful flowers. Red and blue Chinese lanterns hung in the trees, which would give off light in the later hours like fireflies.
Round tables with white tablecloths and chairs decked out with antimacassars stood at the ready. Small name cards revealed to the guests where they would sit.
An enormous barbecue buffet stood ready, Martha making it clear to the catering service who the real boss was. Gesticulating wildly, she intimidated the three young men, putting them in their place. They had apparently borrowed utensils from her kitchen without asking.
Martha was as gentle as a lamb, a person with real soul, and always ready to help. Although messing with her kitchen and its inventory was not a joke. That she had refrained from brandishing her rolling pin thus far was certainly due to the fact that it was Abigail's birthday.
Mitch kept a firm hand on me as he greeted the arriving guests.
"Wow, look at you. Mitch, old boy, I have not seen you for such a long time. How are things in Memphis? Did you fly up for the weekend?" an older man with a grey mustache and small metal-rimmed eyeglasses pulled him into conversation.
"Brian, it's nice to see you again. Yes, it's been a while. I've been in the city for a few weeks and am temporarily living with my parents," Mitch answered truthfully.
"That's nice. Your parents must be happy. Especially with the first grandchild on the way. Congratulations on that. If I know Abigail, the nursery is already decorated. Although your girlfriend isn't showing at all. What month are you in?" he turned to me and inspected my belly.
My blood ran cold at these words. I longed for a mouse hole where I could hide. I had to get away from here. I wanted nothing more avidly. Mitch's hand still clasped mine. I tried to slip away, but he wouldn't let me go.
Why was he forcing me to stay in this situation? Didn't he sense how much I was suffering? Why was he torturing me?
"Brian, I may introduce my friend Stacy to you? She works at the Chicago History Museum. You know, the museum with the Pioneer Locomotive. Didn't you also work for a railroad company for a time?" Mitch skillfully circumvented the answer to Brian's question, keeping a straight face. His voice remained calm and steady. It didn't seem to bother him at all to be confronted with the situation.
I managed a smile, although my knees were still trembling. How could Mitch control himself so easily? I furtively looked at him from the side. No movement, no sign that he felt embarrassed. He put on a poker face and gave Brian a friendly smile.
"Oh, really? Stacy, then I have to ask you something directly. How is that with ...," he began a cross-examination. But before I could panic, I heard Mitch say,
"Excuse us please, Brian. We have to welcome our other guests. We'll be happy to continue our conversation after the meal. A w
arm welcome and a lovely evening."
"Oh, yes, of course. Thank you, my boy, I'll see you later," Brian responded with understanding.
After Brian turned away, I loosened Mitch's grip and hurried into the house. I could not simply stand by while people stared at my nonexistent baby bump. That was just too much for me.
"Ah, there you are. I should have known that you would hide in here. Is everything okay with you?" Mitch asked me as he walked beside the row of books towards me.
Nothing was ok. The whole thing was a catastrophe. What were we supposed to do? I couldn't go out again to the guests. I would rather die. He had to understand that. "Mitch, I don't think I'm going out to the party again. Brian is bound to run into Samantha during the evening and he will put two and two together. Then we'll get pelted with even more questions and I don't know if I can stand that. Besides, more guests are sure to mention the baby and ... I ...." Tears ran down my cheeks again as a sob choked my voice.
"Hey, sweetheart. Don't cry. Everything will be fine," he sat down next to me on the couch and took me tightly in his arms. He carefully stroked my back as he kissed my tears away with his lips.
When was everything going to be fine? When? I couldn't bear all the questions and the constant discussion about Samantha and the baby any more. Every day it tore up a little more of my insides. How long would I be able to take it? If he really loved me that much, why didn't he send her away? Why did she have to live here until the birth?
As my tears slowly subsided, I tried to put my feelings into words. "Mitch, I can't do it anymore. I can't take it any longer, hoping and always being disappointed. I'm sorry but I'm going to get my things and go."
I slowly separated from his embrace as I gathered my strength for the imminent discussion. Mitch wasn't going to just let me go, that was clear when I made my statement.
"Stacy, you can't just take off when things get dicey. When you're in love, you need to be prepared to fight for it, too. Besides, it's only a few more weeks. Come on, we've been through so much together. Let's not break up when we're on the last lap," his voice took on a melancholy note. He looked at me with a desolate expression as he closed his hands around mine.
"Mitch, that's not fair. You know that I love you more than anything and I would do anything for you. But if I'm cracking up, that's the point when I have to admit that it's not working anymore."
"Are we breaking up because Brian mentioned your nonexistent baby bump? You can't be serious. Stacy, I love you more than I can say in words. Please think about this. Stay with me," he stubbornly continued.
I stopped in astonishment as I became conscious of what he was saying. Could it be true? After all this time? "Do you know that this is the very first time that you've said how much you love me?"
"No way, I'm constantly telling you how much you mean to me," Mitch was irritated.
"Sure, but never like this," I answered with a hint of sadness. Actually, I should have been happy that Mitch had finally brought himself to say those three magic words. After all, I had longed for them ever since our first meeting.
"If you want, I'll tell you every day, every hour, every minute. The main thing is that you stay with me," he pressed his hands on my face and kissed me with the boldness of desperation.
I resisted at first but then I let it happen. He had not shown me this degree of passion until now. His tongue pressed desperately against my lips and forced an entrance. After I allowed it in, he groaned in satisfaction and pressed himself on me more fiercely.
"Oh, look, Freddy, that must be the library that Abigail raves about so much," I heard a woman's voice.
Before we could release each other, she continued to chatter. "Oh, look, Freddy, a pair of sweethearts. Love is beautiful."
"What? What did you say?" Freddy answered, holding a hand to his ear to adjust his hearing aid.
"Love is beautiful," the woman's voice shrilled in irritation.
"But of course it is," Freddy piped up in perfect form.
Chapter 18
Contrary to expectations, there were no more unpleasant situations that evening, excepting the fact that Samantha sat at our table during the meal. During which Emily was the only bulwark against the villain, since she had been placed between us.
If it hadn't been for Mitch's sister and her usual cheerful manner, I don't know how I could have survived the evening. Mitch was deep in a conversation with his father for what felt like an eternity. I didn't want to disturb them. However, after what had happened in the library, I had hoped for somewhat more attention from him.
"If you have any time in the next few days, I would like to visit Sue with you. Only if you want to. The poor dear couldn't come this evening. She's been leaning over the toilet bowl since she got positive results from the test. She can't keep anything down," Emily was full of information about Sue's health.
The lucky thing would be floating on cloud nine if she weren't hanging onto the toilet. She got pregnant right after the wedding. Must have been during the honeymoon to Hawaii, I thought to myself.
"Mom has accumulated an extensive set of baby things already. Although it's not clear yet if it will be a boy or a girl. But you know her. That's not going to stop her."
Yes, that was Abigail. A family person through and through and always there for her children. Sometimes maybe a trace too intrusive, although she always meant well. She laughed exuberantly with Aunt Heather, who had seemed happier and more relaxed since she had settled the dispute with her sister.
"Well, as for that, your mother seems to be only interested in Sue. I've only gotten reluctant sympathy at best," the villain next to Emily announced.
"When works for you, Stacy? Next Wednesday or would Thursday be better?" Emily ignored Samantha's boorish interjection.
"In this family, you're punished with contempt. Nobody is interested in me or Mitch's baby. Not even the child's father. It's a shame." The conversation at the table fell silent at these words. It was suddenly as quiet as a mouse as all eyes turned to Samantha. Abigail sat opposite me and I could recognize how difficult it was to keep herself from replying with something as equally pleasant. James anxiously laid a hand on her shoulder and tried to calm her a little.
"Samantha, I believe it is time you leave. You're surely tired from the day's stress," James finally declared. "Should somebody accompany you to your room or are you able to go alone?" he asked in a calm tone of voice.
"Samantha will certainly not leave. The party has just started and it's bound to get really amusing. Don't you think?" she overdid it to the extent that Abigail's left eye began to twitch violently.
"Don't you dare...," I heard her say something for the first time. Her voice trembled with rage and the guests at the remaining tables looked up in curiosity. Her undivided attention was unmistakable and once again I felt countless eyes resting on me.
Before the feelings of oppression could kick in, Mitch rose from his chair and went directly to Samantha. He roughly seized her wrist and pulled her from her chair.
"Ow, you're hurting me," she complained.
"I'll hurt you even more if you don't stand up right now," Mitch replied coolly. I had never seen him like this. All eyes were directed towards him as he argued with the pregnant Samantha about what would be best for her and the baby.
Finally, she rose in a theatrical manner, stroked her belly meaningfully - as if it hadn't have been obvious to everybody there that she was pregnant - and held the pose for a moment. Smiling, she looked at every single family member. Her eyes seemed to rest on me for an especially lengthy period.
At last, she looked at Mitch with dignity, showing him that he could loosen his grip and requested, sweet as sugar, "Would you please accompany me to my room, Mitch? After all this excitement, I don't feel so well. Not that anything has happened to our child. I could never forgive myself for that," she said protectively.
"Come on, Samantha. The show is over," Mitch interrupted their Oscar-worthy performance.
"But of course, my darling." At these words, she laid her hand tenderly on his face, waiting for my reaction. She was obviously trying to shake me out of my complacency. That much was clear. However, what she was up to remained a mystery.
Emily quietly encouraged me from the side. "Don't let yourself be provoked by a stupid cow. She only wants to cause a scandal, nothing more. Don't lose your cool because of what she's trying to do," she gently patted my hand.
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I bore it stoically as she caressed my boyfriend in public. He didn't defend himself against her touch.
The atmosphere was about to explode. Nobody dared speak. Each spark could cause the powder keg to burst. But unexpectedly, Samantha politely said goodbye without further discussion and allowed Mitch to lead her into the house.
"My, that went well," I heard Emily breathe a sigh of relief next to me.
Three quarters of an hour had already passed since Mitch had vanished into the house with Samantha. What was going on in there? I impatiently shifted in my seat as one horror scene after the other went through my mind.
It was possible that Samantha's touch hadn't been without consequences. Mitch may have capitulated to her charms or maybe was helping her when she locked him in her room and shackled him to her bed. Possibly she had faked a fainting spell or some such thing in order to draw him closer.
Was my boyfriend susceptible to such advances? No, certainly not. Or was he? Well, basically he was just a man. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to go see what was playing out in the house. Just a quick look, of course. I ultimately trusted Mitch, but when a woman wanted something, she had the ways and means of achieving her ends. Samantha was one of those specimens who knew exactly when to pull out all the stops. I was absolutely convinced of that.
I surreptitiously rose from my chair while the remaining family members at the table were engaged in conversation and made my way quietly out to find out what was going on.