by Jenna Jacob
“When you do, I’d like to join via teleconference for the conversation.”
“Of course. All for one and one for all. You know we wouldn’t make that decision without you. I am curious, though. You going to vote for the hiatus as well?”
“Definitely, and toss out the suggestion to shorten our tours. I want to spend time with Dustin.”
“I get it. I want more than three months with Sofia.”
“Listen to us,” I chuckled. “You’re taking on a wife and I got a kid. When the fuck did we grow up and shit?”
Burk laughed. “I don’t know, but adulting feels pretty damn good.”
“That it does.” I nodded as the smile melted off my lips. “I need to keep all this just between you and me for a bit, all right?”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
“You’re like Fort Knox, I know, it’s just…I haven’t even told my folks they’re grandparents yet. Besides, I want to keep Dustin out of the spotlight as long as I can.”
“Good luck. Once the vultures sniff new blood…”
“I know. It’s going to get ugly. I’m just hoping this town is small enough that I can fly under the radar a little while longer.”
“Keep your hat and sunglasses handy, man.”
I grinned. “Will do. Give me a heads-up before you all sit down and discuss changing things up with the band.”
“I will. If you need anything, I’m a phone call and a flight away.”
“Thanks, Burk. I appreciate that more than you know. Tell Sofia and the guys I said hi.”
“Will do. Talk to you soon, bro.”
“Bye.”
I hung up, feeling calmer and a lot more focused. I was glad that Burk still wanted to take time away from the road. Hopefully, Ozzy, Ross, and Syd would welcome a respite as well.
I rang up Angelo and filled him in on the events and finally remembered to ask the man how he’d managed to track Tori down. After ending the call, I sent a text to my accountant instructing him to wire Angelo the rest of his money, then kicked back to plot.
As I started weaving the threads of several different plans, I realized they all required one thing—me rearranging my life. While that fact was both daunting and more than a little scary, I knew in my heart there wasn’t an obstacle too thick or too high to stop me from being the role model Dustin needed in his life.
It was after two in the morning before my brain finally shut down and I drifted off to sleep. I was rudely woken at sixthirty the next morning by a loud knock on my door.
“Congrats on your little swimmer getting a womb,” the smart-ass trucker from the next room bellowed with a laugh.
I was two seconds from bolting out my door and kicking his balls to the roof of his mouth when the thought of seeing Dustin again filled me with such stupid excitement. I started grinning. I had no clue if my little man was an early riser or enjoyed sleeping in, like me, well, like I usually did when smart-assed truckers weren’t around. Still, six thirty on a Saturday was probably too early to text Tori.
I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. I was too keyed up. After wandering to the lobby for a cup of complimentary coffee that tasted like axle grease, I took a shower, dressed, then sat in bed, flipping channels on the TV.
By eight o’clock, I was climbing the fucking walls. As I reached for my cell on the nightstand, the device dinged, alerting me that I had a text. As I read the message from Tori, telling me breakfast was in thirty minutes, a grin nearly split my face in two.
Seven minutes later, I rang the doorbell and mentally kicked my ass for not stopping to pick up…what? I had no clue but felt I needed to contribute to the meal. But the second Dustin opened the door again, this time with Ed standing guard behind him, I could only focus on the joy lighting up my son’s face.
“Darren. Back!” Dustin squealed before launching himself against my legs.
Without even thinking, I reached down and hoisted him up in my arms, delighting when his little arms wound around my neck.
“Morning.” Ed smiled, motioning me inside.
“She doing okay?” I asked as I stepped through the portal and was assaulted with the smell of bacon and coffee.
Ed shrugged slightly. “Her shock wore off around midnight, then the tears ensued for a while. The guilt’s eating her up, but she’s determined to make things right with you. Hence, breakfast. What about you? How are you handling…things?”
“I’m…determined,” I announced, grinning at Dustin, who started squirming in my arms. Bending, I set him on the floor before he raced to the kitchen.
“Mommy. Mommy. Dustin back. Eat now?”
“Go wash your hands,” Tori instructed, shooing him out of the kitchen and rounding the corner.
Lifting her chin, she sent me a tight, polite smile. Her red hair was pulled back in a flowing ponytail that accentuated the striking contours of her face. My heart rate picked up as my eyes skimmed a caress over her cream-colored breast-hugging tank top and the black yoga pants painted over her long, slender legs. Suddenly, I was famished, but not for food.
“Thanks for the text,” I replied, tamping down my testosterone levels.
“Please, take a seat. The food will be ready in a couple of minutes.”
The stilted formality between us felt awkward and uncomfortable. I didn’t like it. But my wounded pride was as much to blame for the unease as Tori’s lies.
“It smells delicious, baby girl,” Ed praised as he eased past Tori and sat at the head of the table.
Following him to the table, I couldn’t miss the apology and trepidation lining Tori’s face. I grabbed the chair beside a dark blue booster seat and watched her shoulder slightly slump as she hurried back to the stove. I wasn’t trying to make her feel more guilt or wanting her to grovel. I simply wasn’t ready to forgive and forget yet. Seeing her again had opened every nasty scar I’d tried to ignore for the past two years. Besides, we still had a shitload of issues to comb through regarding Dustin.
“I ready, Mommy,” Dustin cried, racing toward the table.
“Climb on up in your chair and put your napkin on your lap. I’ll bring your pancakes.”
“Oh, boy! Cakes.”
“You like pancakes?” His eyes sparkled as he nodded and grinned. I couldn’t keep from grinning back. “Me, too. They’re my favorite.”
Dustin’s eyes grew wide when Tori set a plate, precut and drizzled with syrup, in front of him. Fisting his fork, he dove in with gusto and licked at the sticky trail sliding down his chin. I watched my son eat with a mixture of fascination and pride.
“Dig in.” Ed chuckled.
As I set a stack of golden-brown pancakes on my plate, Tori placed a cup of milk next to Dustin’s plate and three mugs of coffee on the table before finally taking a seat across from me.
“Breakfast looks delicious. Thank you.” I held her gaze for several seconds, trying to delve past the barrier she’d erected again.
“Saw on the news there was another murder back in the city,” Ed announced, slicing through the uncomfortable pall hanging in the air. “Damn glad we’re not living there anymore. It’s safer, cleaner, and a lot friendlier here.”
We ate breakfast and made small talk as Dustin polished off another pancake and cup of milk. I’d never seen such a little kid eat so much food.
“He’s got a hollow leg.” Tori smirked. “I don’t want to think about how much I’m going to spend in groceries when he turns sixteen.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be covering that,” I blurted without thinking.
Her smile dimmed instantly.
“Care for more bacon?” Ed offered, lifting the plate.
“No. I’m stuffed.” As I pondered how to chisel through Tori’s guilt and start the dialogue we desperately needed, an idea struck me. “Is there a park around here?”
“Yeah. There’s one at the end of the block,” Ed said pointing toward the kitchen.
“Great.” I sent Tori a nod. “How about we take Dustin there
after breakfast?”
“Ah—” she stammered.
“Park?” Dustin’s eyes lit up like diamonds.
“I really should—”
“Go,” Ed encouraged. “I’ll clean up the kitchen.”
She sent her father an exasperated glare. “Fine.”
Ed dropped his head, took a bite of his pancake, and shot me a wink.
I took the support of her dad as a win and sent him a subtle nod of thanks.
After Tori wiped the syrup from Dustin’s face and hands, I grabbed my hat and sunglasses from the rental. We started walking down the sidewalk toward the park, like a happy little family. Even though we weren’t, it still felt pretty damn awesome.
“What’s with the glasses and the hat?” Tori asked as Dustin happily skipped along in front of us.
“Protection.”
She lifted her head and glanced up at the clouds above. “Hate to break it to you, but the sun’s not out.”
“It’s not about the sun. I’m trying to protect you two.”
“From?”
Without thinking, I reached down and clasped her hand. “Do you have any idea what’s going to happen when someone discovers who I am and why I’m here?”
♫
Tori
I’d been too mired in guilt and freaking out since Darren showed up last night to give a single thought about the ramifications of his visit or the gossipmongers discovering Dustin was his child. I’d seen the way his fans had gone berserk that night at his concert. His fans would be pouring out of the woodwork if they discovered Darren was here. The warning he’d given Brice last night made complete sense to me now.
I didn’t want Dustin subjected to that level of chaos.
“Has anyone besides Brice recognized you yet?”
“I don’t think so. I can usually tell when they do.”
“Maybe it’s best if you left town.” The instant the words tumbled off my tongue and Darren dropped my hand, I knew I’d screwed up. Dammit. Why was it so damn hard to talk to him now?
He clenched his jaw as if trying to contain his fury, then bit out, “I told you last night. I’m not leaving.”
“I know. I’m not trying to send you away or keep you from being a part of—”
“Good. Because that’s never going to happen.”
“I meant, is being here worth the risk you’re taking?”
“He’s worth it.” Darren glared. I bit my lip and watched as his expression softened. “When the shi—stuff hits the fan, I’ll hire some bodyguards for you, Ed, and…” He nodded toward Dustin, who was happily kicking acorns down the sidewalk, oblivious to the worrisome conversation taking place behind him.
“Is that really—”
“Necessary? Damn right it is.”
“But this is a small town, a friendly town. If we simply ask them to respect our privacy, I’m sure they’ll—”
“I’m not just talking about the people here in town, Tori.” His brows slashed as he studied me intently. “You honestly don’t have a clue what’s going to happen, do you?”
I resented that he thought me an idiot. But mostly I hated being trapped in this swirling cauldron of guilt that threatened to consume me. I already knew there weren’t enough apologies on the planet to change Darren’s opinion of me…to stop him from seeing me as the enemy, the traitor…the betrayer. The shame was killing me. I couldn’t even look at him without my heart shattering into a million fragments for alienating the only man who’d ever made me feel desire, free…a real woman.
“Enlighten me then. Maybe if you explain it, I’ll be able to wrap my tiny head around it all,” I lashed out, silently praying he’d walk away and let me wallow in my sins alone.
A muscle in his jaw ticked and he pressed his lips into a tight, thin line. “I wasn’t trying to imply you had a little brain, Tori. Why are you so damn defensive? You’re the one who—”
“I know what I did. You don’t have to keep rubbing my nose in it,” I bit out, pausing on the grass to watch Dustin race toward his favorite toddler slide.
Turning back to face Darren, I blinked the tears of shame stinging my eyes. “I know I hurt you…know I betrayed your trust. I know keeping your son a secret crushed you. I know you’re never going to believe that I did everything in my power to protect you in that exposé. And I know that you’re never going to forgive me for what I’ve done. Why should you? I can’t even forgive myself.”
Tears began sliding down my cheeks and I quickly swiped them away.
As I started toward Dustin, who was coming down the slide wearing a mile-wide smile, Darren wrapped a strong hand around my elbow and whirled me to face him. I lowered my lashes to hide the tears still seeping from beneath them.
“Stop. I don’t want you beating yourself up,” he admonished. “Yeah, you hurt me, but I’m the one who opened myself up and let you.”
“I’m not the woman who came to your hotel room that night, Darren. I’m not,” I beseeched.
“I know that,” he growled fiercely. “What I don’t know is which woman was in my bed.”
Chin quivering, tears falling, I cupped his cheek, savoring the feel of his scruff scraping my palm. Then I searched the tumult in his eyes, praying he’d let me in, one more time. “Me…it was me. I swear.”
“Thank fuck,” he snarled. Nostrils flaring, he gripped my nape. My heart raced. Heat flooded my quivering body. Anticipation soared as Darren lowered his head and slanted his lips toward mine. My eyes slid shut and I held my breath.
“Swing! Swing!” Dustin screamed, shattering the spell.
Rearing back from each other, Darren tore his hand from my nape as if he’d been burned, while the cells he’d awakened shrieked in protest.
Clearing his throat, he took a step back before flashing Dustin a wide grin. “You need a push?”
“Yeah!” he cried, dancing circles around the dangling swing.
Trying to smooth out my jagged edges, I exhaled a deep breath before joining the pair.
“Higher…higher,” Dustin demanded.
“But you might fall out,” Darren warned.
“I hang. See?” he said, squeezing the metal chains. “Higher.”
“All right. Make sure you hang tight, then.” Darren gave me a sidelong glance as I sat down on the seat of the swing beside them.
“I’m not going to fight you if you think we need…protection,” I began. “But I still think the people here in town will be understanding.”
“It’s not the townspeople I’m concerned about. The fans are zealous, but the media is relentless.”
A cold chill slid up my spine. If Celebrity Access or other shady tabloids got wind that Darren was here…that Dustin was his son, they’d be pounding down my door, waving money in my face, and begging for a whole lot more than some piddly exposé. Too bad. They could pound sand. I wouldn’t sell Darren out again for all the money in the world.
“They’ll want photos and interviews and don’t care a lick how they get them. They’ll hide in your bushes. Follow you to and from work. I’m talking about complete and total invasion of privacy. This…what we’re doing right now will be impossible without a dozen microphones and cameras being shoved in our faces.”
That cold chill turned into a block of ice. “How can you live like that?”
Darren gave the swing another gentle push and shrugged. “It’s the price of fame, beautiful.”
“Boodaful,” Dustin repeated. “Mommy boodaful.”
Darren grinned and flashed me a wink. “That she is, my man.”
I tried not to grasp to the fringes of hope blowing through me. The slip of the tongue wasn’t going to mend the chasm between us. He might think me beautiful, but I was still a beautiful traitor in his eyes.
“Slide. Slide,” Dustin chanted, tugging the chains in his fists.
“You finished swinging already?” Darren asked, clutching the bases of the seat and stopping the momentum.
“His attention span is�
��gnat long,” I explained, watching him lift our son from the swing. “It’s normal for that age.”
As Dustin raced back to the slide, Darren eased onto the swing beside me. “I have a big list of questions I want to know about him. But for now, I’ll start with…how old is our son? When was Dustin born?”
I slapped a palm to my head. “I didn’t even think… I should have told you last night. I’m sorry. I was so busy reeling with the shock of seeing you again.”
“It’s okay, I understand. But I’m warning you now, I want to look at every picture you’ve ever taken of him and hear every detail of your pregnancy, his birth…every second I’ve missed out on.”
The lack of malice in his tone told me he wasn’t trying to add more guilt to my overflowing plate; he was curious to know the details about his son.
“He was born on April twenty-fourth at three sixteen in the morning, last year. His full name is Dustin Edward Combs.”
“So, he’s a year and a half old now.”
“Yeah.”
“Was his birth easy?”
I arched my brows incredulously. “They call it labor for a reason.”
Darren cringed. “Sorry.”
I bit back a grin. “It was the most excruciating pain of my life. But once they placed Dustin in my arms and I stared at the sheer wonder of him, all those hours of agonizing contractions and exhausting pushing just…vanished.”
“I wish I could have been there to see him come into the world.”
Like a knife, regret stabbed deep. I didn’t know whether or not to confess that I’d held our son in the wee hours of that morning, sobbing like a baby because he wasn’t there beside me.
“Why in the hell didn’t you contact me when you found out you were pregnant?”
Telling him the truth was going to hurt, but I was done lying to him…done hurting him. I lowered my chin and dragged the toe of my tennis shoe through the trough of dirt at my feet as I gathered my courage.
“Because I convinced myself that you wouldn’t remember me. That you wouldn’t have believed he was yours. And that there wasn’t any room in your famous rock star life for either of us.”