by Jenna Jacob
The howl of a coyote in the distance pulled me from my musings. I glanced up at the moon. It was late. In a few hours, our little, giggling alarm clock would be jumping on the bed, peppering our faces with kisses, and wanting breakfast.
Without a word, I gathered Tori into my arms, carried her inside, and snuggled into bed with her.
The sun was high in the sky as I stood behind my son at the edge of the pond, teaching him how to cast his little plastic dinosaur fishing pole. He dropped it in the grass, grabbed his junk, and started dancing around. Tori had been working on potty training him, and I knew that wiggle meant he needed to drain the worm.
“Pull your pants down and go, son.” I grinned, helping him tug his little jeans and elastic-waisted diaper down.
“Bathroom,” he insisted, pointing toward the house.
“Nah.” I waved his worry away, stepped in closer to the pond, and unzipped my jeans. “Real men pee outside.”
“Pee on fishies?” he asked, clearly confused.
“They won’t mind. There’s a whole lot of water in that pond,” I explained as I freed a stream.
His eyes lit up. He moved in next to me. Side by side we each released a fine arc.
“Dustin Edward Combs, what on earth are you doing?” Tori asked tersely from behind us.
She startled our little man so vehemently that he turned while still peeing and soaked the leg of my pants. I jumped back, equally startled.
“Whoa. Never leave your hose unattended.” I chuckled, tucking my junk in.
“Oh, my god. Oh, my god,” Tori repeated, eyes wide in disbelief before she started to laugh. “Dustin! Y-you just peed on Daddy.”
“Sowwy.” His little face crumpled as he looked down at his little manhood.
“It’s all right, buddy. These jeans will wash. Are you done?”
He nodded as Tori hurried in and pulled his diaper and pants up once again.
“Why on earth were you two peeing in the pond?”
I shrugged. “When you gotta go, you gotta go. Ease up, beautiful. It’s a guy thing. We’re bonding.”
“Uh-huh. And you just got bonded all over the leg,” she drawled. “But I guess that’s better than in the face, like when he was a newborn. I was christened more times than I can count.”
The photos in Dustin’s baby book that Tori shared with me weeks ago flashed through my mind and sent a knife to prick my heart. Neither of us could erase the parts of the past like we wanted, but the ache to have been there, helping and watching him grow, would never go away.
“Mommy not mad?”
She flashed him a heart-melting smile as she plucked him from the grass and planted noisy kisses on his neck.
In the distance, I heard the hum of a motor and the crunch of gravel.
“Tori, take Dustin in the house. Now,” I instructed.
“Why? What’s—”
“Someone’s coming.”
“So? Maybe it’s another package being delivered.”
“I haven’t ordered anything. Besides, that’s a private road. All this is private property,” I said, waving my hand at the surrounding land. “Go. Get inside.”
As she and Dustin hurried across the grass, I veered to the left and charged toward the driveway just as a black van crested the hill. I lifted my hand to block the sun from my eyes and squinted, searching the side of the vehicle for a television station logo but didn’t find one.
Suddenly, the horn started honking and the passenger window went down. A wide smile tugged my mouth as I watched Syd stick his head out, wave to me, and shout, “Hi, honey. We’re home.”
“Son of a bitch.” I laughed and waved back, then quickly turned to see Tori reaching for the doorknob. “Wait up, baby.”
She paused and raised her brows quizzically.
“The guys are here.”
“The guys from the band? Here?”
“Yeah.” I laughed, then quickly sobered as I watched her pale and self-consciously smooth a hand over her hair before glancing down at her T-shirt and leggings. “Get over here, woman. You look gorgeous.”
A wide smile lit up Tori’s face. Hitching Dustin up on her hip, she hurried toward me as the van pulled to a stop a few feet away. As Syd launched from the passenger seat, arms extended and screaming at the top of his lungs, I braced for impact. As expected, he slammed into me like a semi, clapping me on the back with a laugh. The others piled out of the vehicle, smiling brightly and displaying a lot more decorum. Well, everyone except for Ross, who jerked a chin at me in greeting.
After a flurry of man-hugs and slaps on the back, I slid my arm around Tori and began introducing her and Dustin to each of the guys and Sofia.
“Oh, my goodness.” She giggled, brushing a finger against my son’s chubby cheek. Sofia then glanced up at me. “He looks more like you in person than he does in the photos you sent.”
“Spitting image.” Tori chuckled.
“Look, doll.” Syd began sidling up next to my girl. “I know we just met and all, but if you dump this loser, I’ll show you a real good time.”
Tori bristled. The smile on her face fell. Glancing at me, I saw fire and fury blazing in her blue eyes. Then she turned to Syd and painted on a fake-as-fuck smile. “Look, dude, I know we just met and all, but you can go to hell.”
A collective howl of laughter went up. When I caught sight of Ross grinning, pride burst inside me. Leaning in, I pressed a kiss to Tori’s mouth.
“He’s just pulling your chain, beautiful,” I assured. “Syd’s our resident comedian or rather…tries to be.”
“Thank god. I finally found a fellow smart-ass with boobs.” Sofia raised her hands to the sky. “I’m definitely keeping you, Tori.”
“Oh, kinky,” Syd drawled. “I call dibs on videotaping the two of them.”
Sofia slapped him on the shoulder with a scowl. “Shut up. I didn’t mean it like that, you filthy perv. I meant it’s about time I got a little estrogen reinforcement. Traveling with you frat boys again, I’m all but dripping in testosterone.”
“They make soap for that,” Syd drawled.
Tori giggled as the familiar banter volleyed through the air.
I darted a curious glance at Ozzy, who was being unusually quiet. He jerked his head in acknowledgment as one corner of his mouth kicked up. But there was something in his eyes that wasn’t right and set my protective brother senses on high alert. I needed to find a few minutes alone with him and find out what the fuck was going on. Shoving my unease down for now, I clapped him on the back.
“Come on inside, y’all. Let’s grab some cold ones and catch up,” I said, nodding toward the house.
Sofia and Tori headed straight to the kitchen to put together some lunch while I handed out the brews. Then we guys quickly vacated the room, leaving the ladies to create their culinary masterpieces, and strolled to the family room. As Ozzy sat down at the end of the sectional, I watched his eyes fall to the industry magazines on the coffee table. His jaw ticked, and his eyes narrowed as he stared at a photo of Phoenix. The stunning and ubër-talented up-and-coming singer was breaking through the male-dominated rock scene with her sledgehammer vocal range. She and Licks of Leather were regularly vying for the top spot on the charts.
“Oh, there’s your girl,” Syd taunted, pointing to the cover.
“Shut it, nut-bag,” Ozzy snarled. “I’m tired of listening to it.”
But Syd didn’t relent. Straining his voice to a terrible falsetto he starting singing, “When I wrap my lips around him, your taste is on my tongue. I want you. I miss you. I hate how much I love you.”
I recognized the tune instantly. “I Hate How Much I Love You” had earned Phoenix her first Grammy nomination this year. She and our keyboard player had history, and none of it was pretty.
“I think she wrote that song about you, Oz. Don’t you?” Syd jabbed.
Ozzy’s nostrils flared as he balled his hands into fists. Launching to his feet, he charged Syd, whose eyes were growin
g wide while the smile melted off his face. Stunned by Ozzy’s violent reaction, I couldn’t move. Thankfully, Ross and Burk intercepted the man and pulled him back before he could knock Syd’s head off.
“Ignore him. He’s only pushing your buttons because you let him,” the big drummer growled.
“Give it a rest, Syd,” Burk barked.
The bass player raised his palms in surrender. “Okay. Okay. Damn, can’t anyone take a joke?”
“We could, but you’re not funny,” Ross snarled.
“Daddy?” Dustin whimpered, tugging on the leg of my jeans.
I hoisted him into my arms and whispered soothing words as I gently patted his back. The sudden confrontation and anger surging in the air worried me, too. I instantly began plotting how to get some one-on-one time with Ozzy.
Back from their walk and glowing from something I suspected was far more invigorating than a stroll down the road, Ed and Gail came in through the front door. The tension in the air dissipated as more introductions were made. By the time we were all sitting down for lunch, the laughter and good-hearted banter, suggested the incident had been forgotten. But I hadn’t. Worry still niggled my brain.
♫
Tori
With Darren’s bandmates in the house, it was a week of utter chaos but in a good way. Sofia was great. She was like the big sister I’d always wanted but never had. We even shared the same smart-assed gene and gave Syd far more than he could manage to dish out.
As she and I scurried around the downstairs kitchen, putting the finishing touches on our last dinner together, I was torn. A part of me longed for the peace and quiet I’d enjoyed before they’d arrived, but another part of me ached to keep this group of people close. I had the chance to see, feel, and experience the unique bond the five men shared. The depth of unconditional love between them was a living, breathing entity all its own that touched me, too.
When we arrived in Oklahoma, I never dreamed Darren would want me in his life forever, let alone that I’d gain two new families. But I had and was ecstatic.
“Steaks will be ready in five,” Darren announced as he stepped in from the lanai surrounding the swimming pool. He flashed me a smile as I pulled the baked potatoes from the oven. “How’s it going in here?”
“Perfect. We’ve got all this under control. So you can get your butt back out there and make sure my steak comes out medium-rare. My taste buds are screaming for some warm pink flesh,” Sofia instructed, shooing him with her hand.
“Sounds like you want Burk, not steak,” I murmured under my breath.
“I’m saving him for dessert.” She waggled her brows.
Arching his, Darren sent me a pointed stare. “Don’t start picking up Sofia’s bad habits, beautiful. I don’t take orders well.”
I grinned, but Sofia tossed her head back and laughed. “You sound just like Burk.”
“That’s because we’re cut from the same cloth.”
Sofia’s eyes widened. “Oh, really?”
“Behave yourself. Tori doesn’t know all my secrets yet,” he said cryptically before ducking back to man the grill.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” she said, waving my question away. “Burk tends to get bossy from time to time, that’s all.”
Before I could tell her Darren did, too, Susan rushed in carrying a huge sheet of brownies, while Walter followed with a scrumptious-looking three-tiered cake.
“I’m sorry we’re late. But Gail couldn’t decide what to wear.” Susan chuckled. “I reminded her a dozen times it was just family, but…”
I peered out the open patio doors and watched Dad pull out a chair, take Gail’s hand and help her into her seat before easing her close to the table. He was such a gentleman.
“Seriously, she could wear a tattered old robe, and he wouldn’t care.” I smirked.
“Right.” Susan laughed.
“They’re so cute together.” Sofia beamed.
“You should have been there when their eyes first met.” Susan fanned herself. “I thought the house was going to combust.”
I tossed the last potato into a big basket and covered my ears. “Don’t want to hear any more details. That’s my dad and it’s just… Ugh. No more.”
“I get it. While I’m beyond thrilled that you and Darren are together, he’s still my son. I don’t want any bedroom details, either.”
“Thank god. That would be awkward as hell.”
“Besides, if he’s anything like his father…” Susan exhaled a dreamy sigh. “We’re both a couple of lucky girls.”
“TMI,” I blurted as my cheeks caught fire. Grabbing the basket of potatoes, I hurried toward the lanai. “Time to start hauling the food out, ladies.”
The meal was decadent, but what made it even better was the laughter, wine, and love of the family around me. Mellowed by my two glasses of wine, I was trying hard not to squirm in my seat as Darren continued undressing me with his eyes. The big tease had been doing it all night. I couldn’t completely relax, not with the fire he’d ignited down there. I was mentally counting the minutes until he could put it out. When he slung his arm over my chair and started tracing his fingertips over my nape I nearly moaned.
“If you’ll excuse me for a minute, everyone.” Dad nodded and stood then strolled into the house and up the stairs.
“Is he okay?” I asked Gail, who was sitting beside me.
She darted a glance at Susan, which I thought odd, then smiled and nodded. “He’s fine, dear.”
“Maybe I should go check on him,” I said as I started to rise.
Darren cupped my shoulder, keeping me in my seat. “He’ll be back in a minute. He’s just getting something for me.”
“What?”
“It’s a surprise.” He winked with a mischievous grin.
“What are you up to?”
“Just relax and let it happen, Tori.” Syd grinned. “Well, as best you can with him steering his little dinghy.”
“He doesn’t have a little dinghy, Syd. He has an ocean liner and knows how to maneuver it through all the motions of the oceans.”
“Damn right I do,” he preened.
“Come on, you two,” Susan drawled. “A mother doesn’t need to hear this.”
“Sorry, Ma.” He laughed then sobered.
I looked over to see Dad rounding the table and handing Darren the guitar Mac had bought him when he was nine. He’d played it for me many times. There was something erotic about the way he caressed the wood, pressed his fingers to the frets, and plucked the strings. Probably because it was the same way he played my body.
Everyone at the table fell silent and turned their attention toward him.
“I wrote this for you, Tori.”
Darren began to play the most hauntingly beautiful melody I’d ever heard. I waited for him to start singing, but he never did. He simply strummed the strings and gazed into my eyes, deep into my heart, and curled his entire being around my soul.
A lump of love, gratitude, and happiness lodged in my throat as he continued staring at me, opening himself up and inviting me to see the depth of love for me. It was fathomless, like the blades of grass in the field and the stars in the sky.
Tears stung my eyes. Tunnel vision sent the friends and family gathered around to blur and blink out until it was just him and me in this vast universe, bound as one by that inexplicit connection that tethered us to one another so long ago.
When the song was done, no one clapped, no one said a word as he passed his guitar to Burk and stood.
“That was beautiful,” I whispered, voice thick with emotion.
“Just like the woman I wrote it for…my beautiful. There are lyrics for it.”
“Why didn’t you sing them?”
“Because they’re part of the surprise. Each year we celebrate, I’ll sing you a new verse and the chorus.”
“Wait, I-I’m confused. Celebrate what? Dinner like this?”
“No, Tori.” Darren smi
led as he reached into his pocket and dropped down on one knee.
My heart jumped to my throat.
My stomach tilted sideways.
The air in my lungs turned to sand.
As Darren slowly lifted the lid of the blue velvet box in his hand, I blinked, sending tears sliding down my cheeks. When I caught sight of the shimmering two-carat-princess-cut diamond surrounded by dozens of smaller ones, I reached out and clutched his arm to keep me from falling out of my chair.
“The song I just played…your song is called “Harder.” The chorus has a few lines that go: I love you, beautiful…love you so hard my heart wants to explode. Never doubt the way I feel for you because I couldn’t love you harder if I tried.”
I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle a sob. “Oh, Darren…”
“I’m not done yet.” He grinned. “Our road together started out rocky, empty, and cold. I was alone and lost and didn’t want to live without the love I couldn’t find. I want you beside me when I wake, when we eventually drift off to sleep, and every second in between. I need you and Dustin in my life as much or more than I do air, food, and music. You and our son are my whole world, Tori. I want to be your whole world, too. Will you marry me and let me make that happen?”
I’d foolishly walked out of his life, taking a piece of him with me, never imagining that I’d left a piece of myself behind. I didn’t know if fate, willpower, or the hand of God brought us back together. I only knew that this beautiful, sensual, loving man was my whole world, too.
“Yes. Yes, a million times, yes,” I sobbed as I stood.
“Thank god,” he growled, plucking the ring from the box. As Darren slid it on my finger, he gazed into my eyes. “Forever, beautiful.”
I stared at the massive rock for several long seconds, praying this wasn’t a dream.
“Forever,” I whispered before melting into his strong, loving arms.
As everyone around us cheered, whistled, and clapped, Darren hooked a knuckle under my chin and tipped my head back.