“Home,” she said with a flourish, and Logan grinned at the joke. Six months in Morocco and she’d already jumped cities. For her there would never be anything so permanent as home.
The apartment was quiet and dim, the silence made larger by high ceilings, patterned floors, and a light current of air that billowed through open windows into gauzy curtains. Footsteps echoed from the hall and Logan turned in their direction as Noah entered the living room.
Noah Johnson, a Moroccan-raised American, had been a chance encounter on Munroe’s last assignment, an encounter that had eventually evolved into her latest and possibly final departure from the United States.
Although Logan knew much of the man from pictures and conversations, this was the first time he’d seen him in person, and it was clear why Munroe had taken such a liking to him. He was an easy six-foot-plus, black hair, fair skin, and a rock climber’s physique.
In a gesture proprietary and tender, Noah pulled Munroe close and kissed her on the forehead, then extended his hand to Logan in greeting.
Munroe ran interpretation between Noah’s rudimentary English and Logan’s broken French, and in the easy exchange Logan sensed a fracture in the closeness the two had shared. He wondered as he stood there now, making small talk through Munroe, what it must be like in Noah’s shoes, to helplessly watch the woman he loved withdraw emotionally, to fear she would soon walk away, while extending a hand of friendship to the man he suspected to be the cause.
Munroe returned Noah’s kiss, said softly, “Let me show Logan around. I’ll be ready in twenty minutes,” and with that took Logan’s hand and led him toward the hallway.
Three bedrooms and two bathrooms made up the bulk of the one-level apartment, and a narrow staircase beyond the kitchen led to the laundry and work area on the rooftop. Like so many places in the developing countries in which Logan had once lived, the apartment was bare and rustic, the kitchen and bathrooms minimalistic, and as a whole the flat went without many of the standard fixtures found in even lower-income homes of the United States.
The brief tour ended at the guest bedroom, and when Munroe had shown Logan what little he needed to know, she left to dress for the evening.
He turned off the light and in the dark dumped his bag on a chair.
The room was enveloped in the quiet of night, and in that quiet there was a form of peace. Here, alone in the dimness, he could think; he could process and plan and try to figure out how to dig his way out of a hole that had, in less than a moment of clarity, doubled in size. He’d come to Morocco focused on nothing more than begging for Munroe’s help, a yes or no answer, and had instead been blindsided by the complex series of hoops he’d have to jump through to get it.
The sound of running water filtered from across the hall, and in the streetlight glow he sat on the bed, elbows to knees, methodically forcing calm; waiting.
A shift in the light under the bedroom door announced her presence before the footfalls. Logan lay back on the bed, hands behind his head, ready for the knock that came a second later.
She was stunning in silhouette, the loose and modest clothes replaced by a very short, figure-hugging dress that accentuated a long, lean, androgynous body and brandished sensuality. In heels, she had at least an inch over Noah’s height, and together they would make a visually intimidating pair.
With a hug and then a house key placed in his palm, she was gone.
The front door echoed a thud and Logan rose from the bed to watch from the window as the BMW peeled away from the curb. He waited until he was certain they would not U-turn for a forgotten item, then headed toward the living room where he’d spotted a telephone.
Chapter 2
Ten in the evening local time meant late afternoon in Dallas, still within the office hours of most businesses, although Logan expected that Capstone Consulting kept the phones running far later than the standard nine to five.
He picked up the handset, exhaled, and dialed a call he’d never expected to make.
Capstone was owned and operated by Miles Bradford, former Special Forces turned private contractor, the man who’d been by Munroe’s side when the world had turned upside down. If there was ever a person who’d want to know about her current state, who’d be willing to get involved in a nightmare predicament for no other reason than that it involved her, that man was Bradford.
Anticlimactically, Logan was put on hold. During the frustrating wait, he moved methodically about the room, scanning surfaces and opening drawers, careful to leave everything as he’d found it while the phone to his ear provided background music. He was checking beneath the sofa when Beethoven’s Ninth was clipped short by a cheery voice announcing Capstone, as if it were some high-stakes New York marketing firm instead of the bullets-and-blood mercenary outfit Logan knew it to be.
According to the receptionist, Bradford was out of the country.
“I know you have a way to get in contact with him,” Logan said. “Tell him that Michael’s in trouble and that if he wants to talk to me, this line’s only going to be clear for the next three or four hours.”
He recited the apartment’s phone number, and after a routine reassurance that someone would get back to him, he hung up and moved on to the meager pantry.
He was violating Munroe’s space and her privacy, a deed not done lightly, hunting for what he knew was hidden somewhere nearby. He didn’t need a visual to confirm his suspicions, but he did want the specifics in order to assess the damage.
He was in the middle of Munroe’s bathroom when the phone rang. Logan fumbled and then recovered. The wait had been thirty minutes, not a bad measure of Bradford’s concern.
There was static on the line and a few seconds’ delay, but even through that Logan could hear the clipped, impatient quality of Bradford’s tone.
“I just got your message,” he said. “What kind of trouble is she in?”
Carefully scripted, Logan said, “The self-inflicted, oops-look-at-that-I’m-dead kind of trouble.”
There was a pregnant pause and Bradford said finally, “Suicide?”
Logan closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “No, she’s very much alive. But she’s self-medicating. And she’s started carrying knives again.”
Silence, and then, “How long has this been going on?”
“I have no idea. I flew into Morocco this morning and she met me at the airport. The signs are all there, she doesn’t try to hide them—flaunts them, even—she’s poking at me with them, like she wants me to know. I’m going to take a guess and say it’s only been a few weeks. She just moved to Tangier, and it could be related.”
“Any idea what she’s taking?”
“Not sure,” Logan said. “I’m trying to find out. Never thought I’d see the day she started this shit again, but if history’s any predictor, it’ll be legal and she’ll have a fake prescription.”
Logan searched the nightstand drawers. “Anyway, she’s out with Noah right now. I’m ransacking her apartment.”
Bradford exhaled a low whistle.
“She won’t know,” Logan said. “Been there, done that, won’t get caught.”
There was another pause and then Bradford said, “Logan, I’m in Afghanistan. There’s no way for me to get out of here for another week and until then I’m at a loss as to what I can do.”
Logan knelt to look under the bed. “I’m not sure either,” he said. “I just figured you’d want to know. You’re the obvious intervention partner of choice—I mean, you were there, you know better than any of us why she’s doing it—and really, Miles, I think you’re the only other person who cares the way that I do.”
Logan opened the doors of a large armoire and glared at a small box barely visible under a pile of clothes. “I think I’ve found it,” he said.
From the box he pulled a smaller box, opened it, and shook free a bottle of syrup. He read off the label, “Phenergan VC.”
“Is that the codeine version?” Bradford said.
Loga
n searched the label, lips set tight. Bradford knew his pharmacopoeia. “Yes, codeine,” he said. “The box holds twelve and two are missing.”
“If we’re lucky, that’s the first box,” Bradford said. He hesitated. “Okay, look, I understand why you called and I thank you for it. The earliest I can get out of here is next Thursday. Do you think you can find an excuse to get her to the States?”
“You know how she is about returning.”
“I could come to Morocco,” Bradford said. “But I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” There was a long silence, and although Bradford never verbalized it, Logan understood the reason. Noah and Bradford around Munroe at the same time brought far too much potential for conflict.
“Best would be to get her to the U.S.,” Bradford said. “Or really anywhere out of Morocco.”
Logan nodded agreement to the empty room. “I’ll figure something out and let you know how it goes,” he said, although in truth his favor already required that he take her from here.
“I’d give you a number,” Bradford said, “but it’s pointless, I move around too much. Call the office. They’ll be able to reach me. If you can’t get her to go back, I’ll come to you, but I need at least a week.”
The call over, Logan continued to stare into the armoire at the box and all that it stood for. Codeine wasn’t the heaviest stuff she’d taken, nor was it the worst to be abused; the issue was that she was self-medicating at all.
Heavy, burdened, he replaced the bottle and rearranged the clothes.
He could work this thing. Getting Bradford involved was a definite step forward, and pulling him in had been rather easy.
Logan shoved away the stab of guilt.
He would have made that call even if he didn’t need Munroe’s help, and Bradford wasn’t offering to do anything he didn’t want to do.
Logan returned to the bedroom and the weight of two days’ travel pressed against his eyelids. Intent on remaining alert until whatever godforsaken hour Munroe came back, he closed his eyes for a second and opened them to bright sunlight streaming through the curtains.
He bolted upright with no recollection of falling asleep or of Munroe returning, or with any concept of how much time had elapsed. He fumbled for his watch.
Seven in the morning, local time.
God, he was tired.
He rolled his legs over the side of the bed and listened, shook his head in an attempt to clear the fog that wrapped around his brain. There was no sound or movement in the apartment, so he stood and padded to the window. Parked along the curb were a few cars, but no BMW.
Logan opened the bedroom door and, with the stealth of a kid preparing to sneak into the kitchen to grab a cookie, peered down the hall. Munroe’s door was slightly ajar, definitely not closed the way he’d left it the night before. Barefoot against the tiled floor, he moved toward her bedroom, and there, hearing nothing, pressed his palm to the door.
She was alone: sprawled across the mattress, face in a pillow and tangled in sheets that trailed to the floor. The knives sat on the nightstand and against the foot of the bed lay the clothes she had shed before climbing into it. The armoire doors were partially open, and although there was no visible sign that she’d helped herself to the contents of another bottle, crashed out and dead to the world as she was, Logan had no doubt that she had.
He left her room for the guest bathroom, irritation and anger washing over him. He needed her right now, needed her to be herself, lucid, aware, not this—brain- and emotion-numbed, and half-alive. No matter the reasons, what she was doing was such a goddamn fucking waste of brilliance.
He turned on the shower and let it run. There was no point in keeping quiet; the insomniac woman who would normally go from a dead sleep to a fighting stance over less than a whisper had drugged herself into a state of unconsciousness.
It was afternoon when the light tap of footsteps first echoed down the hall. Logan waited until they passed, then left his room in search of Munroe and found her in the kitchen filling a coffeepot with water, dressed in a tank and boxers and sporting a case of bed hair so bad he would have laughed if things had been otherwise. He didn’t see the knives, but then she’d never needed them to kill, and that wasn’t why she carried them anyway.
“Want coffee?” she said.
“Sure,” he replied. “Where’s Noah?”
She yawned and scratched the back of her neck. “He’s at his holiday house. What time is it?”
“Around three o’clock,” he said.
Munroe placed the pot on the stove and lit the burner. She sat at the kitchen table, then tilted her head up and smiled. A real smile. And in spite of himself and the frustration and anger, Logan smiled back.
“I needed the sleep,” she said. “And thought you might need some too, what with the jet lag and the long trip. I won’t make you wait on me like that again.”
This was as much of an explanation as she’d give, but Logan knew she did it with calculated reason. The sleep and making him wait had been as much a deliberate display as the knives on the train. She wanted him to know her state of mind, to take it all into account should he continue toward whatever favor he must ask.
Logan said nothing, and she smiled again—that killer smile.
“Have a seat,” she said. “I’ll make you lunch.”
He nodded toward the empty cupboards. “From what?”
With a straight face she said, “Coffee,” and the heartbeat of silence was followed by commingled laughter that came as a welcome release of tension.
Logan couldn’t help but grin, so good was it to see her lucid and to have her again, the real her, the Michael that he knew and loved; and he relished the moment because he knew it would be short-lived.
As if she’d read his mind, she said, “Tell me why you’ve come—what is it you need?”
He froze.
The coffeepot percolated on the stove, but Munroe made no move to get it. She nodded toward the seat opposite. It wasn’t an invitation, it was an instruction. There was no point in arguing, so Logan sat in the proffered chair. Forearms on the table, he shifted forward, and as he opened his mouth to speak, she put a hand on his wrist.
“Hold the thought,” she said. She stood, stepped to the stove, and turned off the burner.
She’d so perfectly disarmed him. He watched her move about the kitchen: fluid, methodical, neither hurried nor pausing, much like a well-trained dancer. She turned to catch his eye, smiling conspiratorially as she set out the coffee mugs.
She placed a cup in front of him and held her own while she sat, her posture taut, her face relaxed. “Go on,” she said, blowing steam as she held the coffee to her lips.
He reached for his wallet and slid the faded photo with its beauty and tragedy, memories and heartbreak, across the table. Munroe paused to look.
“Is that Charity’s daughter?”
Logan nodded.
Charity.
The person he’d loved longer and truer than any other being. Charity, who was his fellow childhood survivor. She’d lived the life, knew the pain and trauma better than he, and shared the burden: the lies, the secrets, and the scars.
Logan gazed down at the photo of the little girl with the blond ringlets and bright green eyes, traced his fingers along the edge of it, and then stopped. All reason, all argument, all the words that had been turning around in his head for the past three days fled, and he was left vacant. Logan looked up and staring into Munroe’s eyes said only, “I’ve found her.”
Chapter 3
Logan didn’t need to say more because, without explanation, Munroe understood why he’d come and, if not the specifics, at least the essence of what he wanted.
She reached across the table and placed her hand on his.
In the quiet he wished more than anything to plead his case and argue reason. But he kept silent.
Munroe knew the cost, knew what it meant, and he could see the calculation reflected in her eyes. Finally, she shif
ted her gaze toward the windows.
“I don’t know, Logan,” she said. “I just don’t know.”
He paused, waiting, allowing the stillness to swallow them, and then, with a lump rising in his throat, said, “Would you at least listen to what we know? The details? Would you hear us out?”
She gave no response.
“Come with me,” he said. “Just for a week—just to meet the others.”
“Return to the States?” she said.
“They can’t all come here,” he said. “It’s too expensive and there’s not enough time, but that doesn’t mean you have to return home. It can be anywhere—New York; how about New York? We go for a week, stay at a nice hotel, talk to some interesting people, and when all is said and done and you’ve had time to think about it, then you make a decision.”
She stood, refilled her coffee mug, and continued to stand, staring at nothing.
“Please,” Logan whispered. “For me.”
In the silence, sounds of traffic and occasionally pedestrian chatter filtered through the open windows. She remained motionless, eyes distant, vacant, unreadable. Finally, she turned to him.
“I’ll go,” she said. “For you.”
He exhaled, realizing only then that he’d been holding his breath.
“Logan, I can’t promise you anything,” she said. “I’ll go. I’ll listen. But I make no commitment, and I won’t stay, you know?”
He nodded. She’d offered enough: a start.
She was still standing at the kitchen counter when she said, “I need a bit of time before I can leave.”
“Noah?” Logan ventured.
She nodded and made no pretense at hiding what he could so clearly read in her face. In the heaviness of the moment, he felt sadness at the inevitable and understood why she hadn’t fought harder against his request to go with him. She braced for good-bye, hating it, hurting from it, and feeling no way out.
The Innocent: A Vanessa Michael Munroe Novel Page 2