Her body relaxes slightly, but she’s still a bit tense. “I don’t understand him,” she talks to me as though it’s a confession as she stares into the fire. “First he kisses me, and now he won’t come near me. I was stupid for letting my guard down. Stupid for…” Her voice drifts off as she looks down at her hands in her lap.
“You’re not stupid. It’s the situation. You’re a fucking gorgeous woman, Bianca. I’m sure he’s feeling guilty as hell about it.”
“Why?” Those beautiful eyes look up to me, and I can tell she really doesn’t see it even though she should.
“We’re supposed to be protecting you.”
“Yes, I get that.” Her voice is full of a plea, but I don’t know what for. “I just thought… I don’t know what I thought.”
Getting to my feet, I walk to her and crouch down to be eye level with her. But not a damn word will come out. I watch as her breathing halts altogether. Her dark eyes heat, and her lips part with desire. It’s pure electricity. I can tell she feels it too, judging from the way her eyes pierce mine for an answer.
“It just felt right,” she admits, her voice so low, so tempting.
My hand lifts up and cups her chin, tracing the side of my thumb along the slant of her jaw. “We’re working right now, protecting you from what’s out there.” Her eyes close for a moment as she leans into my touch.
My heart beats faster, my blood heating. I hear the voice in the back of my head screaming at me to knock it the fuck off. But I ignore it.
“And you should know how much I appreciate what you’ve both done for me.” She looks up at me through her thick lashes, nothing but lust in her voice.
“Trust me. If we were anywhere else, Maddox wouldn’t be your only worry. You’d be between us right now. Right here, in the shower, on the floor, in the bed. Every fucking inch of this place.”
My dick is so fucking hard, so eager to have her exactly how I see it happening.
"Damon—" she starts to whisper, and the rest of her question is drowned by my mouth against hers.
I didn't plan it, but now that we're here, I don't regret taking her lips in an urgent, demanding kiss that has been building up since I got her lush ass into our car.
No, since I first saw her all those years ago. My hand moves to cup her chin, tracing the side of my thumb along her cheek. Her lips part for me, allowing my tongue to invade the warmth of her mouth and explore her in a way I've only fantasized about for years. She's so sweet. So innocent. So intoxicating.
Bianca. My honey bee.
Thrilling. Forbidden. Dangerous. Deadly.
I ignore the words threatening to edge into my thoughts, and focus on the heat of her hands, one resting on my back and the other gripping my shirt into a fist, her breathless moans into my mouth, the drumming of her heartbeat in her chest.
Her hands crawl up to my neck, and her fingers slide into my hair. I push my body closer to hers, my hands on her thighs. She has no idea what something so simple does to the insane need that's growing uncontrollably inside me. I want her now. All of her.
But as she slides off the chair and into my lap, a tidal wave of reason and logic washes over me.
"We can't," I say, dragging myself from the kiss and putting her back on the chair. "This isn't a good idea. I'm sorry."
What the fuck was I thinking? I shake my head, standing straight and trying to think of what to say.
Bianca stares up at me, half-dazed. For a moment she says nothing, but then she seems to come to the same realization I did.
She cups a hand over her mouth as though trying to erase what just happened. "I'm sorry."
Leaping out of the chair, she pushes past me, hurriedly crossing the living room to her bedroom, grabbing her laptop as she goes and leaving me alone. A long exhale leaves me as I run a hand down my face. Fuck!
Maddox has the right idea.
Physical barriers between us.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Chapter 11
Bianca
I’m tormented.
And confused.
It’s not even day four, and I’ve already kissed both the men that have sworn to protect me. Not to mention I’ve been shot at. Again.
I bury my face in my hands as I lean against the wall just inside the bedroom, refusing to let the memories surface. I just want to get something to eat now that I feel settled in, but every time I go to do something, the memories of two nights ago come back. I’ve slept for nearly ten hours, soundly, peacefully, but I can’t sleep the memories away while I’m awake.
I stand up straight, pushing off of the cold wall and refusing to give into them. I don’t want to be crippled by the sounds of gunshots. I won’t keep being their victim. Last time I was nearly paralyzed. The time before that was the same. But I won’t let it haunt me here.
I feel protected with Damon and Maddox. They saved me. No one has ever done that for me before. Fought to protect me like that. I’ve seen death, I know what it’s like to watch the life disappear from a loved one right before your eyes, but I’ve never seen someone fight so ruthlessly.
I want to fight, too. I don’t want to run and hide and cower. I finally close the bedroom door and push the hair from my face. They give me a strength I’ve never had before. And I don’t want to lose it.
The tips of my fingers brush against my lips as I think they’ve given me something else, too. My eyes dart to the living room as the sound of one of them clearing their throat catches my attention. Even the specter of death can’t keep my mind off Maddox and Damon. And the way it felt when their hot lips were pressed against mine. How my body came alive with electricity as I melted into Maddox’s arms, my pussy clenching with desperate need.
And how it felt to slip into Damon’s lap as we kissed. How easy it would have been to let Damon take me then and there. And I wanted him to. I wanted him to take me and for Maddox to walk in on us… and then join in.
I inhale a deep breath, walking slowly toward them.
I realize that this isn’t something that was supposed to happen. Damon made it more than clear the other night, and Maddox has been avoiding me like the plague. This forbidden fantasy I crave with the both of them isn’t something that can ever be. I’m fooling myself to think otherwise. Their only job is to protect me. Not share me. And that’s what I am to them, a job. The sooner I accept it, the better off I’ll be. But I can’t accept it. Not when I’m locked away and all alone with them. The sound of clicking keys pulls me back into the moment. Maddox and Damon are sitting on couches on opposite sides of the living room, which for a small cabin, is a decent size. Vaulted ceilings and paned windows give breathtaking views of the surrounding forest. The furniture is all burgundy and brown, blending in with the color of the wood and floors, and there is a large shag rug that sits in between each couch. Meanwhile, the stone fireplace is crackling from the blazing flames.
A feeling of warmth and coziness flows through my chest. This place, this hideaway that Damon and Maddox have brought me to… I love it.
It has a warm, cozy interior but feels spacious. Even if the cabin is small, it still has everything I want.
My eyes go back to Maddox and Damon. They’re both engaged with their work, their body language stiff. I watch them from the doorway, my shoulder leaning against the hard frame and my skin pricking from the intense mix of emotions stirring in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know what’s going on between them. Ever since Maddox kissed me, there’s been a tension between the two of them.
A deep crease mars my forehead. I know I’m only a job to them, but I won’t tell anyone. They must know that. Don’t they? Maybe if I told them, maybe then they’d give in and let me… Maddox looks up from his laptop and catches my gaze as the thought hits me. Then he quickly goes back to his screen, appearing as if he’s reading something and didn’t notice me at all.
Pain lances my heart. It shouldn’t hurt so much. But it did. I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t want this te
nsion between us to make it awkward.
I chew on my bottom lip, nearly turning from them both and going back to the bedroom, but I stop myself. He kissed me just as much as I kissed him. And it meant something to him. I know it did. When I pushed my chest to his, I could feel how fast his heart was beating. The scorching heat between us. I didn’t make that up. I fucking know I didn’t.
Maybe it was wrong because he’s not supposed to, and that only adds one more reason I hate being a Russo.
And then I had to go make things worse by kissing Damon. But I thought they shared. I don’t fucking understand this!
Just great. I nearly stomp my foot at the thought. Never in my life have I acted more like a fucking princess than in this moment. The small huff from my lips gets Maddox’s attention at least.
I hold his look and this time he doesn’t back down. That’s the Maddox I know. The Maddox I want.
Damon asks Maddox something I don’t hear, ripping Maddox’s attention away from me. Damon can’t see me from where he’s sitting. He doesn’t even know I’m here.
Gathering my courage, I enter the room, ignoring how my body blazes with insecurity and sink down beside Maddox on the sofa.
Damon sees me for the first time and he forces a smile on his face. I know him well enough to know his expression isn’t genuine. The tense air is only thicker now that I’ve come in here.
I can feel Maddox’s eyes on me so I turn to him, giving him my full attention. Surprise is showing in his eyes at my bold move. Across the room, I sense Damon shift in his seat. Out of the side of my eye, I see him watching us and my skin pricks from his gaze and my cheeks flush.
Both sets of their eyes are on me.
Waiting, as if two hunters have spotted their prey.
Shit. It’s getting hot in here.
I have to clear my throat before asking, “Are we okay?” Anxiety twists my stomach.
The kiss I shared with Maddox flashes in front of my eyes, and then my moment with Damon, increasing my anxiety tenfold. I know they could tell me no. I may spend weeks in an empty room avoiding them and avoiding death all the same by staying with two men who don’t want me.
But that’s not what I want. Not at all. Maddox stares at me for a moment and then slowly nods his head. “We’re fine.” He gives my thigh a gentle pat. It’s meant to comfort me, but only makes me slightly more nervous. I can still sense the tension radiating from him.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Positive,” he says quickly.
But his words are far from convincing. I cluck my tongue on the roof of my mouth, remembering how he seemed so upset at the truck stop when he thought I was lying. I don’t want to be lied to either.
“Well, do either of you want dinner?” I ask, wishing I could wash away the strain smothering the room, and refusing to give up. “I’m pretty hungry, actually,” Damon says, stretching out his arms and cracking his neck. The look in his eyes makes something shift inside of me. An obvious heat is apparent. My tense muscles relax somewhat. “You don’t have to cook if you don’t want to.” Damon says easily, “I like to cook, and Maddox is a beast with the grill, too.”
I can’t help the smile that grows on my face as I say, “I like cooking, if that’s alright.” Damon nods his head at Maddox. “Why don’t you show honey bee where everything is so she’ll have no problem cooking?” His tone is firm. Commanding. Even with my nickname. Honey bee. It gives me butterflies whenever they use it. It’s different with him talking to Maddox and using that nickname. It feels… dirty, in a way. I didn't expect it. And judging from the look on Maddox’s face, neither did he. Beside me, I feel Maddox tense, his jaw bulging out. He seems pissed. I don’t know if it’s because Damon’s ordering him around, or if he doesn’t want to be alone with me.
I hope it’s the former. My heart is already sinking at the thought that he really doesn’t want to be around me at all. For a moment, I think Maddox is going to go off on Damon. It wouldn’t surprise me. You could cut the tension between them with a pocket knife. But then a resigned sigh escapes his lips and he closes his laptop, puts it to the side, and rises to his feet.
He gestures at me. “Come on.”
When I don’t get up right away, Maddox offers me his hand. My heart races as I place my small hand in his, and he pulls me to my feet with one strong tug. The close proximity of his hard body causes me to blush, my temperature rising. For a moment, our eyes lock. I see two things reflected there; confusion and desire. He releases me and a feeling of disappointment flows through my chest. Tearing his eyes from mine, Maddox turns and strides toward the kitchen. My heart races as I watch his rigid back, the corded muscles stretching his shirt with his slight movements, feeling even more confused than before.
It only takes a single heartbeat before my feet are moving on their own to follow him, but I pause in the doorway when Damon’s voice calls out, “I’ll be in there in just a minute. In the meantime, you should get comfortable with Maddox.” I turn to look over my shoulder, taken aback by the look in his eyes and the instant heat that burns between us. I’m almost afraid to move.
“Go in there, honey bee. I’ll come watch in a minute.”
Something tells me things are about to get even more complicated.
Chapter 12
Maddox
The cool air from the fridge hits me in the face as I hear Bianca’s feet padding into the kitchen. I hear the term honey bee over the buzz of the fridge.
Damon’s pushing it. I know he is. He told me last night how he kissed her, how this is all fucked. And I know it is. But damn, sending me in here with her is tempting me. I’m barely holding on. I need a release. I need something. I feel like a caged fucking animal, sitting in this damn cabin not doing shit.
The whole purpose of this cabin is fucked up. Damon wanted to buy it so when this time of year came I could come out here and we could go hunting. That’s what he said at first when we started building it, but then it changed to, I can beat the shit out of you here where no one can see.
That’s what this place was meant for.
I know it’s fucked up, but I still want him to do it. And I don’t want to fight back; I never do. I feel like I deserve it. Like it’s a good way to remember my dad and what happened the night he died. If I could just go back and not fight him.
But then I might be dead in his place.
I spot a bottle of whiskey on the counter as I set down some green bell peppers. I don’t even know why I grabbed them. I have no idea what Bianca wants to cook. Or if she wants me to do it. I don’t care either way. My eyes focus on the golden liquid at the bottom of the thick glass. For years I refused to drink, thinking it’d make me into the man he was. I don’t need reminders of my father. I don’t like comparing myself to him either.
There are too many similarities.
I clench my jaw, my teeth grinding against one another. Over a decade, and I can’t get my old man out of my head. I don’t want him there. I wish I could just forget. I wish I had something strong enough in my life to replace him.
“Are you alright?” her delicate voice calls out to me in that very moment. I school my expression before turning to her.
“I’m fine,” I reply and clear my throat as she walks closer to me. “The cutting board’s over there,” I say and gesture by the stove, but I don’t wait for her.
“You sure?” she asks so softly, so carefully it makes my shoulders tense up. I don’t want her to be afraid of me. I know I take this shit out on Damon, but it’s only because he knows my demons. And he can handle it. I won’t let it get to her. I refuse to burden her with my past and my sins.
“Just having a rough day, honey bee,” I try to lighten my voice but it comes out strained.
Her dark brown eyes watch me for a moment before she offers, “Is there anything I can do to help?” I huff a humorless laugh and shake my head. She’s a sweetheart, alright. Always asking to help, always wanting to do something.
But t
here’s not a damn thing she can do to help me. Not a damn thing anyone can do to save me.
“No,” I answer without looking in her eyes. My heart skips a beat when she takes a step forward and cups my chin, forcing me to look at her. So small and easily breakable, but still commanding me and my attention.
“Maybe I can distract you,” she says in a sultry voice. “Maybe that would help.”
Fucking hell. All the blood in my body goes straight to my cock.
I swallow the hard lump growing in my throat and shake my head, taking a step back to get out of her reach. “That’s not a smart move on your part,” I tell her.
“Why’s that?” she asks.
My brow raises at her words, and I run a hand down my face.
“Let it go, Bianca.” My words come out hard and she flinches at them, but only for a moment.
“I can help you,” she whispers. “Just,” her breath comes up short and she visibly swallows. “I’m not okay either, and I just-”
“How many times do I have to tell you?” I ask her with a raised voice, but the strength there is gone. My fight is gone and I want her to push me, I can feel it. I want to cave to the temptation.
“Please Maddox, just tell me to do something. Tell me what you want.” She takes a small step forward, looking towards the doorway then back to me. “I just feel that there’s something and-”
“Bianca,” I admonish her, but my voice isn’t as firm as it should be.
“Maddox, please,” she says in a breathy whisper and the seductive sound goes right to my dick. “Please,” she whimpers, “I’m not sorry I crossed the line and I kissed you.”
I close my eyes, my hands gripping onto the edge of the oven to keep me from doing something stupid, like kissing her again. “And I’m not sorry for kissing Damon.” My eyes pop wide open, a surprising amount of jealousy raging through me. I stare straight ahead at the ceramic tiled backsplash hearing her, but firming my resolve to not take her and show her how different my touch is. She softly adds, “I just want to know we’re okay.”
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