by Cassie Cole
He tapped the board with his marker for emphasis.
“You’re makin’ it seem awful easy,” Xander said. “We still have two armed guards to deal with. What’s the plan? Bop ‘em on the head like little bunny foo foo?”
“Little bunny what now?” Eddie said.
Xander frowned. “You’ve never heard that nursery rhyme?”
“Sing it for us,” I teased. “I don’t remember it either.”
“That’s the tough part,” Bryce admitted. “No matter where we decide to make our move we have the two guards to pacify.”
“Pacify without getting recognized, and escape before they come to,” Xander said.
Eddie rubbed his chin. “I might be able to get a shift as one of those special guards. Yegorovich is recruiting.”
“That would be fantastic,” Bryce said, suddenly excited again. “Then we only have to knock out one guard.”
“Yeah, see, that’s the thing,” Eddie said. “We’re not knocking out anyone.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what I just said. We’re not hurting anyone. Some of those guards—hell, most of them—are just regular Joes. They’re a higher tier of security guard working for Yegorovich, but they’re not really in his inner circle. They’re just grunts. We’ve got to find a way to steal the money without hurting someone.”
“We don’t need to hurt them,” Bryce said. “We can just… You know. Knock them out for a bit.”
Eddie looked disgusted. “This is the problem with movies. They give people a totally unrealistic understanding of the world. You can’t just knock someone unconscious and have them wake up 20 minutes later totally fine. A blow to the head hard enough to knock someone out would probably give them a concussion, or internal bleeding. That shit’s bad for you.”
“What about that chemical they put on a cloth and smother people with?” I suggested.
“Chloroform? That’s even worse! Did you know that even in medical procedures the use of chloroform has been discontinued because it causes respiratory failure and cardiac arrhythmia? Some people even go into a coma. And that’s when administered by an anesthesiologist in the best of circumstances!”
“Okay, okay,” I said.
“Not that I like hurting anyone,” Xander said, “but how do you suggest we handle the other guard? Bring them into the scheme and split the pot five ways instead of four?”
“Absolutely not!” Bryce said. “It’s too late in the game to add anyone. And way to risky to try recruiting one of the guards to flip on Yegorovich.”
“Only an idiot would do something to piss off the Russian mob,” Xander said with a shake of his head.
“I agreed to this job to hurt bad guys,” Eddie insisted. “To stick it to someone like Yegorovich. I didn’t sign up to hurt other grunts like us.”
“Eddie, it’s the only way,” Bryce said.
“Then you’d better find a new way, or I walk.”
“There is no new way!” he shouted. “The guard is going to be there with the crate. We can subdue him, or we can recruit him. There’s no other option!”
“Hey,” I said, “what about making a switch?”
“A switch?”
I rose from my chair and took the marker out of Bryce’s hand. “A switch.” On the diagram of the hallway I drew a vertical line from the stage entrance to the east loading dock door. “Xander waits in the stage area with an identical set of boxes on an identical push cart. We wait until the cart with the money is halfway down the hall. Then we distract the guard, Xander enters with his cart, makes the switch, and exits into the loading dock with the money.”
“The old switcharoo,” Eddie said in an old-timey accent.
Bryce was nodding his head. “Might work. How would we distract the guard?”
I drew a line from the bathroom hallway. “I’ll enter here with a tray of drinks. Being the clumsy waitress that I am, I crash into the guard. Drinks go everywhere, glass shatters. We fall to the floor. That should give Xander a few seconds to make the switch without being seen. Then I apologize to the guard, maybe stick my tits out a little bit until he realizes it’s a cute girl on top of him. Then we get up and go our separate ways.”
“You think sticking your tits in his face will make him forget the job he’s doing?”
“You’d be surprised,” I said with a wink. Then, more seriously: “He doesn’t need to forget what he’s doing. He just needs to not notice when we make the switch. A few seconds on the ground, and when he gets back up the cart is right where he left it. Plus the other guard—Eddie—will be there to vouch that nothing happened.”
“Yeah,” Bryce said. “Yeah! That could totally work. Especially if Eddie is the one pushing the cart, so he can help Xander facilitate the switch while the other guard is on the ground.” He took the marker back and tapped the board. “Cart moves down the hall. You come crashing through the door here. Xander simultaneously comes through the stage door, the switch occurs, and then he exits straight into the loading dock…”
“I can yell at Sage for getting in the way,” Eddie said. “Put on a show of anger.”
“And then when Sage leaves, you and the other guard push the new money-less boxes into the service elevator. The other guard joins it and takes it down to S3. Any nobody is the wiser.”
“Then we make our separate getaways,” Eddie said.
“Well,” Xander complained, “if we leave right after the switch that’ll make it awfully easy for them to put together who did it.”
“Then we’ll have to arrange our shifts to end right around the time the money arrives,” Bryce said. “The early shift ends at 8:00 anyways, so just linger a little longer, complete the job, then clock out with the rest of the early shift. It doesn’t get any smoother than that.”
“I might be able to swing that with my manager,” I said, though asking a favor of Zeke might be hard. Especially since I’d already switched my shifts all last week to coordinate with our stakeout.
“I can arrange for another equipment delivery on the east dock,” Xander said. “Or an equipment pickup, I guess it would have to be. I’ll figure it out. But there’s another problem: the door to the east dock is locked. Last time I had to knock and wait for someone to open it from the inside. I can’t quickly make the switch and disappear in there before the guard Sage distracts gets up off the floor.”
Bryce turned to Eddie. “You got a way around that?”
“Hmm. I might be able to get the key. Or find another way to get it open smoothly. Let me get back to you.”
Bryce circled the door on the map, wrote locked in small script, then turned back to the rest of us. “What else?”
“How will we know when the helicopter arrives?” Xander asked. “Set up a video feed in this hotel room?”
“I’ll know when it’s arriving because I’ll be the one making the pickup on the roof,” Eddie said. “Assuming I get chosen to replace that guard.”
“Those are some big ifs, but we’re pretty damn close to a working plan,” Bryce said. “What else are we missing?”
I could feel the excitement in the room. Pulling this off might just be possible.
“I know what we’re forgetting,” I said. “Yegorovich himself. Suppose everything goes smoothly. I distract the guard, Xander makes the switch, they transport the new boxes down to S3 totally oblivious. We still have Yegorovich heading down there to check on the money right after it arrives. That gives us what, a minute to get the money on the truck and get the hell out of there before the alarm is raised? Two minutes?”
“That’s plenty of time for the truck to get clear of the casino,” Xander said.
“But it’s not plenty of time for the rest of us to get away on foot!” I said. “At the end of Eddie’s shift he has to turn in his security equipment. I have to clean up the spilled drinks in the hallway itself, then go back to the locker room and change before leaving. I could skip all that and head straight for the door in my Soviet wai
tress uniform, but that brings us back to the problem of our identities being discovered after-the-fact.”
“She’s right,” Eddie said. “I would get halfway to the security lockers before Yegorovich discovered the money was swapped. Then my options are stick around and get interrogated, or make a run for it and get noticed on the cameras.”
“Would he put the building on lock-down for dirty money?” I asked. “Maybe not, but maybe so.”
Xander nodded along. “That’s definitely the problem here. The switcharoo only works if we can put enough time between when we make the switch and when Yegorovich discovers the money missing. The bigger the buffer, the more likely we are to blend back into the normal comings and goings of the casino. Even when they go through all the evidence with a fine tooth comb.”
“Fuck!” Eddie said, kicking his leg against the bed. The whole frame thumped against the wall.
“Is there a way to distract Yegorovich?” Xander said. He was looking at me. “Accost him on the way? Give him a lap dance?”
“I hope you’re joking,” I said.
“Even if that were a legitimate suggestion, it’s not practical,” Eddie whined. “We can’t have Sage crashing into the guard with a tray of drinks one minute and then trying to distract Yegorovich right after.”
“Plus I’d be all sticky and wet when I see him,” I said. Then I quickly added, “None of you say a word. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Xander rumbled with laughter. “Either way, you’d attract too much attention doing it twice.”
“What about shutting down the service elevator?” Eddie suggested. “We allow the money to get delivered to S3, then we force a security override on it. That elevator is the only way to get to S3. There are no stairs.”
“That sounds like it would attract as much attention as a soaked, disheveled Sage throwing herself at Yegorovich.”
“Which again, I can’t emphasize enough, I’m not doing,” I said.
While we argued, Bryce began smiling. Soon his shit-eating-grin was impossible to ignore. “What?” I asked.
He dramatically placed the cap back on the marker and tossed it on the bed. “I know how to distract Yegorovich.”
22
Bryce
I’d been raging since the poker game.
Ten minutes with Yegorovich and I knew he was cheating somehow. Marking the cards so he knew who had the Aces. Or having a spotter report cards to him. It was his casino—it wasn’t unreasonable to think he had cameras positioned to feed him information. Perhaps the dealer was stacking the deck for him, giving him the better cards each hand. That’s how he got to the final table in almost every tournament.
But Yegorovich wasn’t a very good poker player. He had a dozen tells, each more obvious than the last. So even though his cards were always better than mine, I’d been able to beat him. The shock and anger on his face was a bigger reward than taking his pile of chips.
Yet it didn’t end when he was eliminated. I went on a long cold stream after that. Hardly any face cards, lots of twos and threes. I couldn’t fold forever because the ante for each hand increased, eating away at my chips. Eventually I had to make my move.
So when I finally got a good hand, nailing the inside straight on the turn, I had to push my luck. And of course that’s when I lost to a flush. It was all set up perfectly.
Sure, it sounded like paranoia. The cognitive dissonance of a poker player who had lost at the final table. But when Yegorovich shook my hand after I lost, I could see it in his eyes. The look of revenge.
Somehow he had made me lose.
I wanted my payback. And now I had a way.
“The Volga Diamond Poker Classic.”
“The what now?” Xander asked.
“It’s the Volga’s first big poker tournament. It’s an all day tournament this Saturday, starting at 8:00 in the morning and ending around midnight. The final table is selected at 7:00pm. Right in time for showtime.”
“And you think Yegorovich will be distracted by the tournament?” Eddie asked.
I waved a hand. “No. Yegorovich will be in the tournament. He always makes it to the final table. If I can make it to the final table too, I can keep him occupied.”
“But if he’s playing in the tournament, wouldn’t he have to stay at the table?” Eddie asked. “Aren’t they real strict about when players leave?”
“That’s true for most players, but they let Yegorovich do whatever the hell he wants. I’ve seen him get up and leave tables before, sitting out 10 hands in a row. Sometimes more. Then they let him come back and sit right back down like nothing happened. It’s bullshit,” I complained, “but it gives us an opportunity.”
“Wasn’t the buy-in something ridiculous?” Sage asked. “Like $50,000?”
I grinned. “By making it to the final table tonight I won a free entry into the Volga Diamond Poker Classic.”
“Damn dude. You didn’t tell us you did that good,” Xander said.
“I didn’t want to brag.”
“That’s never stopped you before,” Eddie sneered.
“If I can get to the final table, I can keep Yegorovich occupied,” I said.
I could picture it in my head. A little light taunting leading up to the money arrival. Then twisting the knife when he tried to excuse himself. I could tease him for being incontinent, or call him a chicken for running away. Yegorovich would remember me. His pride wouldn’t allow him to walk away to check on the money.
At least I hoped so.
“I can distract him for five minutes, maybe ten,” I said. “That’s only a couple of hands. If I’m really good I can keep him from leaving at all, buying us a shitload of time.”
“And you think that will work?” Sage asked. “That he’ll care more about the poker game than checking on the money delivery?”
“This isn’t just a normal poker game,” I said. “This is the Volga’s first big televised poker tournament. It’ll air on ESPN a week later. Lots of celebrities will be there. With a little prodding, his pride will make him stay. Besides, the money deliveries have gone smoothly for him up until now. His guard should be down.”
“Five to ten minutes ought to be plenty,” Eddie said. “That’s enough for me to clock out and leave. Same for Sage.”
“And I don’t need any time,” Xander said. “Once I get the goods to the east dock I’m heading back to the stage to prepare for my Saturday night performance. I’ll carry on like it’s any other night.”
“Hell yeah,” I said. “It sounds like we’ve got solutions to every problem along the way. Did we miss anything?”
“The Volga Diamond Poker Classic is this Saturday,” Sage said. “Is six days enough time to plan?”
“It should be. And if not, we can push the job back and find a different way to distract the boss.” I turned back to the board with my marker. “We’ve all got tasks to complete in the next six days. Xander will work on scheduling an equipment pickup for Saturday.”
He rubbed his chin. “What I’ll end up doing is schedule an equipment delivery for Friday. Then I’ll turn around and claim it’s the wrong equipment, and schedule a return pickup for the next night.”
“And then what?” Sage asked, twisting around in her seat. “The money gets sent back to whoever and…?”
Sage was one sharp woman. Not just a pretty face with a tray of cocktails. I’d done a good job choosing her for this heist.
And that was ignoring all the other things I loved about her…
“I’ve got a buddy that runs the Guitar Center down in Henderson,” Xander said. “I can work it out with him. He makes the pickup on the east loading dock and drives it back to their warehouse in Henderson. They’re closed on Sundays, so it’ll sit there for at least a day without processing. Then I’ll call my buddy and tell him there was a mixup in the pickup. That I returned the wrong equipment. Then I’ll head over to the warehouse and pick it up.”
“They won’t open the boxes and check?”
“Nah. I’ll tell him that if he opens the boxes he voids my warranty, or somethin’ like that. No sweat.”
I wrote the notes on the board: Xander delivery and pickup.
“Sage,” I said next, “your job is to get your Saturday shift changed so you can leave right after we steal the money.”
“Simple enough,” she said.
“I also want us practicing the switch itself. I’ll work up a mock hallway with hand carts so you can practice until it’s second nature. The switch is the most important part of the entire plan, so we can’t afford for that to go poorly.”
“Set it up and I’ll practice all the live long day,” Xander said.
I nodded. “Aside from that, I’m going to spend the week practicing my poker skills and a variety of taunts to goad Yegorovich to stay at the table.”
“You need to practice that?” Xander asked. He recrossed his arms and added, “I’ve got an old Your Momma joke book if you need some help.”
Eddie and Sage snickered.
“I just want to practice is all,” I said. “Eddie? You’ve got a few tasks. Getting a key for the east loading dock door so Xander doesn’t have to wait after making the switch. Finding a way to get hired as one of the Volga’s special security guards. And then getting your shift in order.”
“Getting the key won’t be hard,” Eddie said. “But what if I can’t get the job as one of the money movers? Do we have a contingency plan?”
I shrugged. “Don’t think we do. Distracting two guards instead of one is more or less impossible.”
Eddie let out a resigned sigh. “Guess I’d better make a good impression, then.”
“You can borrow my breath mints if that will help,” Sage said.
I looked at the white board. It helped my thought process to have everything written out. “I think we’re good for now. Eddie’s booked this room for the next week so we can keep meeting here. It’ll help to have a secure meeting place next door. Any questions?”
Xander raised his hand. “Will this be on the final exam?”