by Corn, Laura
Two minutes later, call him in his car. Put the phone between your thighs, and let him listen for a moment. Yes, it is. It’s your vibrator, humming happily along. Tell him all about it. Tell him how hot you are. Tell him you’re right on the edge, but you’re waiting for him to come home and help you finish. Tell him to hurry because things are heating up and you’re feeling lonely for his love. Let him listen for another few seconds, then hang up and wait.
You won’t have to wait long. He’s going to fly home, with a bone in his britches. And when he comes stumbling into the bedroom, he’ll see exactly what he’s been imagining for the last few miles. You’ll be nearly naked, with your legs spread wide, face flushed, a sheen of sexy sweat on your skin. And a vibrator held tight against your mound. After ten minutes of torture in traffic, this blissfully erotic image will be seared into his brain for the rest of his natural life.
Call him over to the bed. Hand him the toy and tell him to take over and hold it snug against you, while you open his pants and pull out his erect penis. You need something firm to grab on to because, after ten minutes of struggling not to give in to the power of the vibe, you, my lady, are about to go flying.
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents
NO. 9 MAN HANDLER
INGREDIENTS
1 big bottle of Astroglide or other sex lubricant.
2 strong hands
1 Internet connection
1 visit to handjobadvice.com
FREE BONUS! e-tease him at 101nights.com/ManHandler
FOR COUPLES THAT TRULY WANT TO LEARN how to light their sheets on fire, the Internet is something close to a miracle. And no, I’m not talking about the porn that comes oozing out of your screen every time you turn around. (Holy St. Jenna, most of it is so lame! Who knew sex could look so cheap?!)
What makes the Internet so inspiring for aspiring lovers—the “killer app” for novice booty bumpers—is the instructional videos. No snoopy mailmen, no puzzling diagrams of genitalia. In this wonderful age of instant techno-sex, you can download actual demonstrations of specific sexual techniques transmitted right to your bed at the moment of your choosing.
This week you’re going to study the art of manual stimulation or, as it is classically and lovingly referred to, the handjob. Many women mistakenly assume the handjob is easy; a tug, a jiggle, then get out the Kleenex. But consider this—the guy you are trying to impress has been playing this game virtually every day of his pubescent life. He is Tom Brady; he is Tiger Woods – a man who has known for years the power and strength of the hand. And if you’re going to go up against a master at the peak of his game, then you need to learn a few pro tricks yourself.
Fortunately, there’s HandJobAdvice.com, a delightful little site with videos by a woman who uses a life-sized plastic model to show you exactly how it’s done. These demonstrations are amazing! She shows you more than twenty specialized techniques for using your hands to get a guy off, but you only need to learn a few. Here are my personal favorites:
1) The Washing Machine: Wrap your hands around his shaft and lock your fingers together. Then, quickly slide your hands up and down and twist them from side to side—great when it’s time for the big finish.
2) Milking The Bull: Alternate using each of your hands to pull up on his penis, so that as soon as one hand gets to the tip, the other starts, creating one continuous motion—like he’s pulling out of a never-ending vagina.
3) The Slippy Grippy (it’s even fun just to say out loud!): Use your non-performing hand to grip the base of the penis. This stabilizes it and allows your stronger hand to grab onto the end with as much force and strength as you like.
Go forth, young student. Learn the handjob. Become the handjob. Later this week, a few hours before you plan to debut your new skills, hand your man a big new bottle of Astroglide or other slick sex lubricant. (Also available at HandJobAdvice.com, or your local drug store.). Smile and say, “Bring this to bed tonight. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
Now there’s a challenge no guy will turn down.
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents
NO. 10 BUZZ ME ON AISLE ONE
INGREDIENTS
1 silent remote control vibrating panty (Astrea Vibrating Panties are the bomb and worth every penny at www.deepmemories.com)
1 (or more!) public places. (Grocery store, restaurant, park, nightclub)
I GUESS I WAS JUST AHEAD OF MY TIME.
Way back in 1999 I came across an amazing new gadget: the remote controlled vibrator. It was revolutionary, I thought, because it allowed couples to play together in ways that weren’t possible before. That first model was bulky and noisy. But I knew that it was just the beginning of something big, and so I encouraged my readers to try it out.
Flash-forward to the 21st century. Clever, horny little minds have been busy stuffing the best of modern technology into the remote vibe. The newest versions come built into panties and are quiet enough to wear at the office. They’re so small you can wear them under anything. The remote controls fit on a keychain, and the effect travels over a much longer distance. In fact—and I guess I should have seen this coming—there are now panty-laced vibrators that can be controlled from cell phones or the Internet. No noise, no wires, just cyber waves of sheer pleasure.
There’s even a name for this swelling industry: Teledildonics. (Sigh. They’re going to need a better name if they want to market this stuff to women.)
Awkward name aside, the whole buzz biz has come a long way. So buy a fresh box of batteries and a pair of remote control vibrating panties, then get ready to give your guy an unforgettable treat. You’re going to let him turn you on. In public.
I strongly recommend that you test it once or twice before you take it outside. Maybe several times. Then on a Saturday, pull on your electric underwear, get dressed, and ask your guy to take you on some errands.
While he’s driving, hand him the remote control. You don’t even have to explain. He’ll figure it out. All he has to do is see the look on your face the first time he presses the remote control. Oh, yes, he knows that look. Turn it on: ecstasy. Turn it off: a happy dazed smile. It won’t be long before he realizes what you’ve actually given him. It’s more than just a cool toy, more than a wildly erotic experience. You’ve given him your trust. You’ve taken on this techno-tease, now let him take control of your pleasure.
Things are about to get even more interesting. Stroll through the grocery store – the vegetable aisle is always fun! – and test out your new toy. Will it work when he’s an aisle away? Can you walk with a vibe buzzing your clit? How many times can he bring you close to a climax? Can you keep a straight face? Can he?
The first time I tried this, I planned to let my honey tease me at stores all over town. I figured we would be buzzing at Starbuck’s, humming in the drug store, zinging along the highways, tickling my kitty in Target. But guess what? I didn’t make it past the checkout stand, and I’ll bet you won’t either. I predict you’ll head for home, tear off those panties and jump into bed with your man.
(But will you make it? Or will you only get as far as the parking lot? Hmm. That sounds more like a dare... a double-A dare.)
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents
NO. 11 I THINK I MADE HIS BACK FEEL BETTER
INGREDIENTS
1 very still man
1 bottle of oil
1 very active woman
1 mirror (optional)
SPECIAL NOTE:
For an amazing visual impact – prop a mirror up against the wall so he can watch.
“I think I made his back feel better.”
MARILYN MONROE
after a private meeting with JFK
This particular seduction has such a special meaning to me. This is the trick Marilyn Monroe was famous for. More to the point, it’s the technique that gave me my ve
ry first orgasm with a man.
It wasn’t the first orgasm of my life. I had long ago learned the pleasure of masturbation, the same way seventy-five percent of women do. We become sexually stimulated by simply rubbing up against something — a pillow, perhaps a big stuffed toy, but usually nothing more than our bedsheets.
You and your lover are going to add this technique to your sexual repertoire, and along the way, he’s going to discover that, like Marilyn Monroe herself, you’ve become every man’s erotic ideal. Here’s how...
Undress him and ask him to lay face down on the bed. Stand where he can watch while you peel down to bra and panties, then climb on top. Mmm, isn’t it nice to straddle the powerful muscles in a man’s back? Tension melts away as you massage warm oil into his skin. Then ask him:
Do you want to help make me come? Then I need you to stay very, very still....
Pull off your lingerie. He’ll love the velvet touch of your bare breasts as you stretch out across his back. Slide your hands down his arms; braid your fingers into his own. Keep moving, keep touching. Make love to his back. Rock your hips in slow, small circles, pressing your mons directly against his tailbone. You’re looking for a certain spot, a place that’s just right for your clitoris to snuggle in to. You’ll know when you find it!
Now you can stoke your own fire. Let your aching clit set the pace as it rubs against his oil-soaked skin, up and down and around. When you find that special place, that groove — then start moving faster. He can’t see you, so let your fantasies run wild. And let him know what’s happening... whisper in his ear that you’re getting close, and closer. Pinch his nipples, suck his neck. Hold him tight! Let him feel every twitch of your orgasm.
After all, you’ve become the bedmate men dream of — a woman who can get all the foreplay she wants...
All by herself!
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents
NO. 13 HEELS OVER HEAD
INGREDIENTS
1 fireplace, or 1 dozen candles
1 aromatic dinner at home
2 bathrobes, freshly washed
2 showers
1 pair of sexy heels
blanket and pillows
FREE BONUS! e-tease him at 101nights.com/HeelsOverHead
SEX COMES IN SO MANY WONDERFUL VARIETIES. There’s fast sex, and freaky sex. Sex as a workout, and sex as a stress reliever. Sometimes you do it to say I love you, or You turn me on, or You’re forgiven, and sometimes you’re just horny
But for sweet, lazy, totally indulgent sex—sex for the pure purpose of sensual arousal—you can’t beat mutual oral sex. It’s the only sex act that’s called by a number, and that magical number is...
Sixty-nine.
It’s not just the easiest form of sex, it’s also the most delicious. He gets to taste you, and inhale you. He can feel your wetness against his lips, and slide his tongue all around your most tender parts. You get to do the same with him. And it happens at the same time, which is what makes it so hot.
What’s so amazing is that you both have exquisite control over each other’s pleasure. Plus it’s the perfect way to communicate your own satisfaction. So it’s not just your bodies that form a lovely loop. Your mutual feelings of arousal are also amplified as they pass around and around, head to tail, in an intimate form of erotic feedback. In short:
The hotter you get, the hotter he feels. And vice versa.
(That’s all that’s required for both of you to balance on the fine edge of orgasm—not quite crossing the line, never backing far away. Because it takes so little physical effort, you can do it for as long as you like. It ends only because you are ready for it to end.)
Prepare for an evening of gourmet indulgence. Start by washing your bathrobes, and drying them with one of those heavenly scented softener sheets. Take a shower with a scrumptious soap and fragrant shampoo. Plan a meal (or grab some take-out) featuring your favorite foods, so that your home is filled with a mouthwatering aroma. Stick a note in a place where your guy is certain to see it when he walks in the door:
“Go take a hot shower. Put on your robe. Then come see me in the living room.”
When he joins you, he’ll be impressed by the scene you’ve created. Candles everywhere—or better yet, a fire in the fireplace. On the floor is your finest blanket, with pillows tossed around. Tell him to make himself comfortable, propped up on pillows. Set yourself up so that you’re on the floor next to him, but in the opposite direction, like those two wonderful numbers 6 and 9. Relaxed on the floor (WEARING a great pair of heels,) and facing one another, you can talk and catch up on the day.
When the conversation slows, tug open his robe and admire his body. Play with his penis. Lean over and give it a kiss. Shrug your robe off, slide your leg over his head, and shift into the classic soixante-neuf position, the famous girl-on-top sixty-nine.
As always, he will be overwhelmed by the view. The soft light in the room creates flickering shadows over the curve of your behind, hiding then revealing the pink flower hovering over his tongue. Taste him, while he tastes you. Rock your hips as you bob your head, matching him thrust for gentle thrust.
In time, your arms may grow tired, and that’s when you slowly roll onto your sides, without breaking contact. Grab a pillow and put it under your head; he’ll do the same. Being in the most relaxed sexual position possible you can now take all the time you want.
Feel the heat of his face on your thighs, and the warmth of his shaft on your lips. Focus on your own pleasure. Focus on his pleasure too; remarkably, you can do both. When you get close to orgasm, back off; when you sense him getting close, slow down. Like a true gourmet, you must pace yourself. Test your erotic skills: How long can you stay balanced on the edge of ecstasy? How high can you take him?
When you finally let yourself fall into a shuddering, shattering climax, take your lover with you—how long will that blissful afterglow last? Well, certainly through dinner... and until it’s time for another amazing dessert!
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents
NO. 15 LINGERIE PARFAIT
INGREDIENTS
2 stockings
1 garter
2 high heels
1 pretty dress
2 exquisite meals
many candles
FREE BONUS! e-tease him at 101nights.com/LingerieParfait
THIS WEEK YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE FUN, EAT well, drive your man wild with lust...
...and lose weight.
Sounds crazy, non? Ah, but les femmes de la France do it all the time, quite naturally, and so will you, once you see how easy and exciting it is. Your erotic play begins with some fabulous new lingerie.
French women spend a lot on lingerie, almost twenty percent of their clothing budget–the most in the Western world. Here’s another question that people have been wrestling with: How come they don’t get fat? Scientists think they have an answer for that, which I don’t pretend to understand. But here’s Laura Corn’s theory. You can’t eat much when you’re wearing a garter belt. It’s a little snug around the middle.
So go buy yourself a fantastic new garter belt and stockings. New heels, if you want. A matching bra is a plus. But you don’t need a thong. You’re going to be fashionable and gloriously free under your dress. Haute commando.
Show them to your guy when you get them home. Let him see how excited you are as you pull them out of your shopping bag. “Oh, honey, aren’t these gorgeous! So sexy! I can’t wait to try them on for you.” Rest assured, he cannot wait to see you try them on, either. But wait he must, because this is just a tease for later in the week. Leave them out in the open, somewhere in the bedroom, so he can see them and think about them every day. Once or twice before bed, hold them up to you, over your clothes, and let him see how happy you are. Ask if he wants you to wear them, and when he says yes (or “duh!”), tell him too bad, he just has to wait a little longer. Anti
cipation means the same thing in French as in English.
On Saturday get dressed in front of him. Let him see you pull on the belt and stockings, and then hide it all away under a flattering dress. As you go about your errands, you will discover the thrill that every jolie jeune fille knows. When you dress well, men notice. You’ll feel their eyes on you. You’ll see their smiles, and sense their appreciation. You will love the attention. And you’ll dig the secret thrill of traveling around town with nothing under your skirt.
This is a seduction that requires really, really, really good food. It doesn’t have to be French. But it should be awesome, whether you buy it from a good restaurant or make it at home. (This is a great time to try out a cooking class, by the way.) Set up a terrific meal at home. Candles, music, wine. Eat slowly, and I’ll bet you both will eat less. When you get up, every click of your high heels will remind him of what you have in store.
Finally, move the action to your bedroom. Bring the candles. Set them all around you, like a halo of flickering light, so that you will be literally glowing as you unzip, unbutton, and undress for your man. Keep the lingerie on, of course. Climb on and make love the French way. Lentement. Passionément.
Slowly. Passionately. Et avec du chocolat!
This is the end of this chapter. Click here to go back to the Table of Contents