‘Sleep here tonight little man, there will be no room for you in your mistress’s bed.’
Then with the letter still in his hand he headed for his chamber, taking the stairs two at a time.
Chapter 13
Catherine had deliberated so carefully over what to wear, changed her mind over and again, until even Anwen’s patience was tried. In the end they had decided on a gown of palest blue satin trimmed with rich cream lace. The dress had a square neckline cut rather lower than Catherine usually favoured, so Anwen tucked a cream silk scarf so as to reduce the amount of cleavage on show. Blue slippers completed the outfit and Anwen insisted on threading her hair with pearls.
‘It is almost Christmas milady, and time to dress for the festivities.’
‘It does look nice, thank you Anwen, now you may go and join the merriment below stairs, I shall spend an hour reading until it is time to go downstairs.’
‘Very well milady, shall I ask one of the footmen to inform you when Mr. and Mrs. Brook arrive?’
‘Of course if I am not already come down. I may pop in to the nursery to bid Emiliano goodnight, but will, in all probability be down shortly.’
Once Anwen had left Catherine went to the window, looking out into the night, but not seeing anything, for in truth she could think of nothing except how to approach her husband. For long minutes she pondered, how would she begin? What words could breech the invisible wall they had built between themselves? Should she be deferential, taking the blame for this state of affairs upon herself, admitting her own pride? Or should she remain in control of that pride, and keeping it intact simply admit the folly of the situation and tell him what was in her heart?
‘Oh damn the man, here I am unable to decide how to tell him of my folly, of my love when in fact this ridiculous state of affairs is of his making more than mine. And now I am talking to myself to boot!’
Catherine felt all the pent up frustration of the last few months well up inside her, fueling her growing sense of unfairness. It was simply not right, that she should abase herself, begging for his love. No it would not do, he was wrong to deny her right to a true marriage, to relegate her to a role that was in essence that of housekeeper. Oh in the eyes of the world she was Lady Tremayne, but in truth she was denied those things that made her a true wife. A family, his respect, for surely a man who could treat his wife so could have no respect for her, and in all probability it would only be a matter of time before he found another to love and she would be locked into this half existence forever. No it would not do, and he would be made to see that in no uncertain terms right now!
And so it was in this heightened state of mind that she opened the door to her husband’s chamber and entered fully intending to claim what was rightfully hers as his wife.
Alex was sitting in his customary seat beside the fire, indeed he’d been sitting there since his man had left, not able to decide how to proceed. He could of course simply fetch his wife, bring her to his bed and take what was his. Oh she might protest, but he could melt her, and surely that would be the way to end this nonsense, with direct action? He liked direct action, it was something he understood, but in this instance something was telling him that it would not give him what he wanted. He pondered that thought for a while. Just what did he want, apart from Catherine, naked in his bed that was? Her love? But he had that, the letter confirmed it, so... Then it came to him, he wanted her to tell him, to admit her love for him, to confirm it to him herself. That would open the way for him to admit his love for her and that was where instinct told him they needed to be, in each other’s arms open and honest about their mutual love. But where, how to begin? Damn he was back at the beginning of his deliberations and no nearer knowing how to go about resolving this!
He looked up as the door that connected their chambers opened. No matter how bad things had been between them, that door had not been locked, neither of them had gone that far. Both he supposed, wanting to keep some hope, some avenue open. Catherine entered, he took in the pretty gown, the demure neckline, the pearls in her hair, her soft sweet scent reached his nostrils and his first thought was, “she has come to me, with love in her heart, just as Dorothea advised in the letter, she has prepared herself and come to me.” Then he took in her agitated manner, the pink flush high on her cheeks, no soft footfall but determined little steps. He looked into her eyes and saw the anger there, their sapphire hue brightened by lightening sparks. She was angry with him, and yet no anger rose within him in response, rather he found that she would play the little termagant amusing in the extreme. So tiny and yet so confident of her own power, so damn lovely. He felt the familiar tightening in his groin that plagued him every time he laid eyes on her but this time, the evidence of her anger and the knowledge that soon he’d have her despite that, fueled his body’s reaction to the point of pain and it was all he could do to keep it from showing in his face.
‘Well, and to what do I owe the honour my lady? What brings you to your husband’s chamber, and so prettily decked out?’
Catherine couldn’t speak for a second, his arrogant manner, the small smile that played around the corner of his mouth, oh it was just too much, and so when she spoke it was with a sharper edge than even she’d intended.
‘I have come to make you aware that I will not tolerate this any longer. I have, as your wife, a right to a proper home a proper marriage, and, and a family. Your treatment of me is not to be tolerated, I will not tolerate it any longer.’
Alex let the smile grow, she’d played right into his hands in her anger, and his response was designed to push her just that little bit further, just far enough for him to take the advantage.
‘A proper marriage and a family - am I to service you then lady? Have you come to demand I do my duty in your bed?’
He watched incredulity and rage flit across her face before she spat one word at him.
‘Pig!’
Catherine could hardly believe her ears, how could she have misjudged the situation so. This was not a man she should reveal her love to, but rather an arrogant ill-mannered. Oh there were not words to describe him, so she spat out the only one that would do and turned to leave via the door she’d entered by, but before she could open it he was behind her, reaching over her with one hand, placing it flat on the door to prevent her opening it, while the other snaked around her waist to pull her back hard against him.
‘Too late lady, oh, way to late. You have begun this and now it will be finished, one way or another’
Catherine struggled silently, even though she knew there was no hope of defeating him. She was still struggling as he picked her up, carried her across the room and dumped her onto his bed. She struggled so much as he unbuttoned and removed her gown that it was hopelessly creased. She struggled so much as he removed her shoes and stockings that she managed to land him a good firm kick right in the middle of his chest that made him stop momentarily, but only momentarily. She was still struggling when he captured her wrists in his hands pinning them above her head and threw one leg over both hers, rendering her completely powerless to move. She stopped struggling at his next utterance, all coherent thought centered on one awful realization.
‘Now Kate, you will tell me what you wrote to your sister.’
He’d read the letter, all of her weakness was now revealed to him and she was left with no pride. She would forever be tied to him and he would know of her love yet never return it.
Alex watched the realization that he’d read the letter widen her lovely eyes, then he watched them pool with tears and felt his heart constrict, and nothing mattered except the need to make it right for her, to stop her pain.
‘No don’t cry Kate, please don’t cry my love.’
He kissed her, sweet soft loving little kisses over her face, kisses flavoured with the salt of her distress.
‘I didn’t mean to make you cry Kate, it’s just that I need to hear you say it. I love you so much, to distraction, my life has been a living h
ell thinking you could never love me after all that I have done to you. I was leaving, leaving you with one last gift to remember me by. I had no idea how I would survive not being able to see you every day, but then seeing you every day and not being able to love you was killing me anyway...’
He broke off unable to continue, unable to do anything other than release her wrists and rest his head on her breast, breathe in her sweet scent for a few more minutes, before he gave her complete freedom. Just one more sweet moment to treasure.
Catherine lay still and quiet, his dear head against her, and his impassioned words soothing her fears. He loved her, he loved her despite everything, and there was hope. Slowly she moved to thread her fingers through his hair, holding him to her, letting him feel her love through her fingers, before she put it into words.
‘I thought you did not care for me, that you could not, had never loved me, and yet I could not stop loving you. Loving you so much and yet each day watching you retreat a little further from me.’
Alex looked up, her words filling his mind and heart with hope.
‘Do you love me Kate? Do you? For if you do return my feelings... Oh sweet Kate please, if it is true, tell me again.’
‘I love you my lord, my love, my life. Oh Alex I love you.’
He stopped her words with a sweet, slow, sensuous kiss and proceeded to show her his love.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Brook were amazed not to be met after such a long journey by their hosts. Evans the butler showed them to their chamber with solicitude but no explanation and it was not until they all gathered for drinks before dinner that Dorothea was able to discern a becoming flush in her sisters cheeks and note her brother-in-law’s gentle attention to is wife, that made her smile.
Epilogue
Catherine stood back and admired the painting with a smile.
‘Oh you have done us such credit Mr. Willis, it really is a lovely picture and to have completed it without my husband knowing, I do thank you. It will make a perfect gift for our second Christmas here.’
‘I thank you for the commission milady, I was happy to come back to Llangorfan and do this from the original sketches, you and his lordship have changed little over the year and it was a simple matter to paint the baby.’
Catherine smiled, Alex would be surprised, she had broached the subject of another sitting now that she had regained her figure and though he’s liked the idea of a portrait of the two of them with their firstborn, he’d been reluctant to sit for it.
‘You sit for a portrait Kate, I will be otherwise engaged.’
‘Doing what sir?’
‘Anything that gets me out of sitting for a painting Kate.’ He’d laughed and she’d forgiven him, as always.
Mr. Willis went on his way, leaving Kate to hide the painting behind a screen in this little used drawing room before making her way back to the warmth and comfort of the West wing.
It had been a wonderful year, last Christmas had been perfect, their love had made it so. She adored his wonderful gift of the mare Midnight Star and they’d ridden together every day after that until she’d discovered she was expecting their first child. Alex had been adamant then that she would not ride until the baby was born and her mare, despite her protests, had been turned out to graze and her mistress banned from the stables.
Little Alexander Edward had been born in late October. It had been a long and arduous labour, during which Alex had driven the midwife mad. In the end she’d evicted him from the chamber and he’d spent the rest of the time pacing in the corridor outside, until his son gave his first wail. There was no keeping him from Kate then, and the midwife had clucked her disapproval that she and Anwen had been forced to clean up around him.
So now she was once again preparing for Christmas at Llangorfan and this year it would be even more perfect. Dorothea and Charles would be here of course, this would be Dorothea’s last journey abroad until after her confinement. Her first baby was due in the spring. Mama and Papa, both excited about meeting their first grandchild would arrive with them. Emiliano was growing into a bright adventurous child, his nanny had her work cut out to keep him from mischief and he was as yet not three years old, he adored his new brother and Catherine was looking forward to watching them play together.
Of course Lord Edgar and Charles Stayton would arrive within the week in time for the Christmas Eve party. Henry Waring they saw almost daily since he had taken a house not three miles away, having become engaged to be married to Onesta, the couple were planning to wed in the spring. Catherine would miss having her here every day but Onesta’s happiness was so lovely to see, and they would be able to visit regularly. She would not be back till the morning having stayed overnight with a party of friends.
Sighing, Catherine settled herself to some embroidery, Alex would be in from the stables soon, and then they would go together to the nursery to kiss the little ones goodnight before changing for dinner. This would be the last of their quiet intimate dinners for some time and she had arranged everything to please Alex. His favourite foods, a good claret and she was planning to wear a dress of rich blue that she knew he liked on her, maybe she would leave the neckline unadorned with a scarf this time, just for fun. Her reverie was interrupted by Scrap, he dodged between Alex’ feet as he opened the door, and flinging himself upon his mistress, proceeded to lick and wriggle until she was obliged to put him on the floor and scold him with mock severity.
‘Heavens my lord, what excitement you have caused, Scrap is quite out of control.’
Alex laughed, ‘and so he should be, Tom is beside himself with rage, threatening all manner of evil ends for the little tyke, he caught him covering his terrier bitch. I had to hold him back from murder I assure you. What the pups will be like doesn’t bear thinking about!’
Catherine rose from her seat with a giggle.
‘Oh my goodness we will have to hide Scrap for a while and when the pups do arrive you will have to see that he does not drown them. Shall we see the boys now my lord?’
‘In a moment Kate, first I think you should repay your husband for saving your dog’s life. Surely that is deserving of a kiss at least.’
Catherine smiled with mock coyness, ‘a kiss my lord, is that all you would demand?’
Alex reached for her then, ‘witch,’ he said before wrapping his arms tight around his most precious love and covering her laughing mouth with his own.
Castle Romance 2012
Vengeful Lord, Defiant Lady. Page 20