by Jan Burchett
“Where was I?” He grinned horribly in the torchlight.
“The dark, dark wood,” said Theo in a tiny voice.
“Oh yes. The boy went out into the dark, dark wood and what did he see?”
The gargoylz’ eyes grew wider and wider.
“A monster?” whispered Barney.
“A zombie?” quavered Eli, his snakes trembling.
“No,” said Max. “He saw something white . . . and floaty . . . and it was coming towards him . . .”
“A ghost!” shrieked the gargoylz in terror.
“It was his friend under a sheet,” Max laughed. “He’d dressed up to scare him!”
He shone his torch around the room. The gargoylz were lying in a trembling row, eyes like saucers, clutching the sleeping bag.
“All awake, I see,” said Ben cheerfully.
“Wouldn’t dare go to sleep after that story,” whimpered Bart. “It was too scary.”
Toby crawled up onto Ben’s bed and gave Max a nudge. “I don’t think scary stories are a good idea,” he whispered. “Not if we want to cheer Bart up.”
“You’re right,” said Max.
“How about telling jokes?” suggested Ben.
“Jokessssss?” Eli looked puzzled. He turned to Theo. “What are jokessss?”
“I don’t know,” Theo said with a shrug and the other gargoylz shook their heads.
“Jokes are very short, very funny stories,” explained Max. “They’re meant to make you laugh. Listen – why was the sand wet?”
“We don’t know,” said Zack. “Why was the sand wet?”
Max grinned. “Because the sea weed!” “Seaweed?” The gargoylz looked at each other in bafflement. Then Toby burst out laughing. “The sea did a wee! That’s what made the sand wet!” he explained to his friends. Soon they were all rolling around on the floor holding their sides. Even Bart stopped looking scared and managed a grin.
“We’ve got loads more where that came from,” said Ben. “What flies through the air and wobbles?”
“I don’t know,” chorused the gargoylz, their eyes shining in the torchlight.
“A jelly-copter!” giggled Ben.
“My turn,” said Max. “Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had nobody to go with!”
The gargoylz shook with laughter in their little bed. Then they all heard a strange noise. It was a wheezy, slurpy sound like water draining down a rusty old plughole. They looked in amazement to see Bart holding onto his sides and rocking backwards and forwards.
“Now I understand jokes,” he spluttered. “Listen, I’ve got one. What do you call a pipe that rain runs along?”
“I don’t know,” said Ben. “What do you call a pipe that rain runs along?”
“A gutter!” chuckled Bart. The other gargoylz fell about laughing.
“That was the best one yet,” wheezed Toby, tears of laughter running down his stony cheeks.
“Gutter!” repeated Zack, holding his sides.
Max looked at Ben. “Why is that funny?” he whispered.
“Beats me,” said Ben. “I don’t think Bart’s quite got the hang of jokes yet.”
“Well, at least it’s cheered him up,” Max said happily.
“Gutter!” Bart guffawed loudly, slapping his skirts.
“We’ll have to keep the noise down,” warned Ben. “My parents might hear – or worse, we might wake up my sister!”
The gargoylz all stopped laughing and looked horrified at the thought.
“Not Arabella!” Theo growled.
Max listened at the door. “It’s OK,” he said after a moment. “I think everyone’s asleep. Time for the midnight feast!”
The gargoylz jumped up and down in excitement as Ben pulled out the bottle of fizzy drink and the chocolate cake.
“Cookiez first! Cookiez first!” chanted Zack, diving under the bed for the box.
Max took off the lid and his face fell. “I might have known!” he exclaimed bitterly. “Look what my stupid sister’s done with the icing.”
The others peered into the box. All the cookies were bright girly pink – and decorated with sparkly icing stars and fairies. Some of them had writing on.
Max picked up the biggest cookie. “Boys smell,” he read.
“Here’s another one,” said Toby. “Boys are stupid.”
The gargoylz hooted with laughter.
“What do you call a boy with girly cookiez?” chortled Bart.
“I don’t know,” said Toby, his eyes bright with mischief.
“MAX!” crowed Bart.
The gargoylz rolled about their bed in delight.
Max took the cookie box and sat on his bed. “Well, if only girls eat pink cookies, then you lot won’t be wanting any and I’ve got them all to myself,” he said smugly, taking a big bite. “Delicious!” he sighed.
“We didn’t say we didn’t want one,” said Barney, horrified. “I’m sure they’re lovely.”
“Yes.” Toby nodded hurriedly. “Pink cookiez are probably the best. We’d better taste one to make sure.”
Max grinned. “Go on then. Pass the choccy cake, Ben.”
For the next ten minutes the only sound that could be heard was a happy chomping and slurping. Bart made them all giggle when the fizzy drink made him burp and spiders came tumbling out of his mouth.
Soon there were only a few cookies left.
“Dangling drainpipes!” said Toby, leaning back, his hands over his fat belly. “That was lovely.”
“What do we do next on a sleepover?” asked Theo.
“Well, we could go to sleep, I suppose,” said Ben.
“More jokes!” came Bart’s gurgly voice.
“OK,” said Ben. “Why did the ghost—”
“Quiet!” said Toby. “There are footsteps approaching.”
“I can’t hear anything,” whispered Max, listening hard.
“Gargoylz have sssuper-sssensitive hearing,” said Eli. “I can hear them too.”
“Hide!” hissed Ben as he dived beneath his covers. Max jumped onto his bed. He heard the gargoylz scuttle under Ben’s bed, dragging the cake tins with them. He suddenly remembered the drink. He grabbed the bottle, shoved it under his duvet and switched off the torch. And just in time.
The door to the bedroom was flung open and a figure stood there, outlined by the landing light. Max’s radar burst into life: fluffy slippers, frilly nightdress, a look that could kill at ten paces. He knew what that meant. It was Enemy Agent Arabella Neal. Codename: Manic Monitor.
“Got you!” shouted Arabella. “You’re mucking around and I’m telling. You’re in big trouble and you deserve it after taking away my kitten. MUM! DAD!”
Footsteps could be heard running along the landing. Max knew he had to do something quickly. He had an idea. “What’s going on?” he groaned as Ben’s dad came into the room. Then he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Why did you wake me up?”
Ben pretended he was still asleep. “I’m having a nightmare!” he wailed. “There’s a monster in the doorway. It’s got fluffy slippers and it’s sooo ugly.”
“Arabella!” Ben’s dad sounded angry. “What are you doing out of bed?”
“The boys were—”
“Is this your idea of a joke?” growled Ben’s dad. “The boys were fast asleep and you’ve woken them up. Go to bed – and I don’t want to hear another peep out of you until morning.”
Arabella stomped off.
“Sorry, boys,” whispered Ben’s dad. “Back to sleep now.” He closed the door softly. When it was safe, Max switched on the torch.
“There are still some cookies left,” Ben said, peering into the tin. The gargoylz scrambled eagerly out from under the bed and tucked in.
“I haven’t had such a tasty feast since I ate the vicar’s holly bush,” said Toby happily, wiping crumbs from his mouth. “I’ve got another joke,” declared Bart. “What did the cookie say when his friend was run over by a steamroller?”
“Tell u
s, Bart,” said Max, exchanging a look with Ben. He could tell they were both wondering if it would be a real joke this time or another ‘Bart Special’.
“He said, ‘Oh, crumbs!’” said Bart proudly, a huge grin spreading over his face.
Max and Ben did a high-five as their gargoyle friends bounced around and laughed uproariously.
“Success, Agent Black,” said Ben. “Not only have we outwitted Arabella and cheered up Bart, but he’s got the hang of jokes!”
“Missions accomplished, Agent Neal,” agreed Max. “This is officially the best sleepover in the history of sleepovers!”
Gargoylz Fact File
Full name: Tobias the Third
Known as: Toby
Special Power: Flying
Likes: All kinds of pranks and mischief – especially playing jokes on the vicar
Dislikes: Mrs Hogsbottom, garden gnomes
Full name: Barnabas
Known as: Barney
Special Power: Making big stinks!
Likes: Cookiez
Dislikes: Being surprised by humanz
Full name: Eli
Special Power: Turning into a grass snake
Likes: Sssports Day, ssslithering
Dislikes: Ssscary ssstories
Full name: Bartholomew
Known as: Bart
Special Power: Burping spiders
Likes: Being grumpy
Dislikes: Being told to cheer up
Full name: Theophilus
Known as: Theo
Special Power: Turning into a ferocious tiger (well, tabby kitten!)
Likes: Sunny spots and cosy places
Dislikes: Rain
Full name: Zackary
Known as: Zack
Special Power: Making himself invisible to humanz
Likes: Bouncing around, eating bramblz, thistlz, and anything with pricklz!
Dislikes: Keeping still
Full name: Ira
Special Power: Making it rain
Likes: Making humans walk the plank
Dislikes: Being bored
Name: Azzan
Special Power: Breathing fire
Likes: Surprises
Dislikes: Smoke going up his nose and making him sneeze
The Gargoylz will return in
Gargoylz Take a Trip
Read all the Gargoylz Adventures!
Gargoylz on the Loose!
Gargoylz Get Up to Mischief
Gargoylz at a Midnight Feast
Gargoylz Take a Trip
GARGOYLZ AT A MIDNIGHT FEAST
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 407 04971 7
Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children’s Publishers UK
A Random House Group Company
This ebook edition published 2014
Series created and developed by Amber Caravéo
Copyright © Random House Children’s Books, 2009
First Published in Great Britain
Red Fox 9781862308664 2009
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