by Robin Roseau
"Yes, Alpha," they all said immediately.
"Furthermore, if she asks you any questions about any of the last two months, you will report the conversation to me immediately. If she hints about it, you will report it to me. If you think she is thinking about asking you about it, you will report it to me. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Alpha."
"Alpha," I said immediately. "Does that mean I am not to inquire how their classes are going, or who is going out with whom, or how the babies have been?"
She turned to me and frowned. "I don't know how to possibly give an order you won't wriggle around."
I unbuckled my own belt and turned around in my seat, looking over the back of it. "Does anyone here have any trouble distinguishing between the things Lara wouldn't mind us talking about and the things she would?"
Everyone immediately turned to look at Angel and Scarlett.
"We're not stupid," Scarlett said immediately. "Basically, if it has to do with Michaela being gone, it's off limits."
"You will error on the side of caution," Elisabeth said immediately.
Everyone turned to Lara and she nodded. "As Scarlett said, no one here is stupid. Am I clear?"
"Yes, Alpha," Scarlett and Angel said immediately.
Lara turned to me. "As for you. You will not talk about any of this to anyone except me. This is a direct order from your alpha. If you talk to them about it, it is an automatic charge of aggravated insubordination. The first offense will be an additional one month on your existing sentence. A second offense is another two months. A third offense is an additional four months and a beating. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Alpha," I said immediately.
Lara turned around and glared at Angel and Scarlett. "Failure to report her is banishment. If you aren't sure, report her."
"Scarlett and Angel," I said immediately. "Keep notes of any conversations we have and give them to Elisabeth."
"You are not alpha!" Lara said firmly to me. "You do not give orders!"
I lowered my eyes immediately. "I am sorry, Alpha. I should have phrased that as a suggestion."
Lara softened her tone. "You will give the notes directly to me," she told them.
Lara glared at everyone, and when she was done glaring at them, she glared at me. In a small voice, I said, "Serena, you need to report the conversation we just had."
"Alpha," Serena said, looking up at Lara. "I need to report a questionable conversation I had with your mate."
Lara tightened her mouth but didn't say anything.
"She noticed my elevated heart rate and asked what was wrong. I attempted to demur, but she was insistent." Serena went on to provide an overview of our discussion. She finished by saying, "I hadn't quite gotten to the point of telling her you were proud of her, too."
"Damn it, Serena!" Lara said. "You did now!"
"I didn't tell her Elisabeth is, either," Serena said.
Lara began to growl.
I turned around, being intentionally awkward about it, and sat back down in my seat. Then I asked in a small voice, "Why wouldn't you want me to know that?"
I had the desired effect. Lara's attention left Serena and returned to me. She didn't answer. I looked down at her feet. "Why wouldn't you want me to know, Lara?" I didn't look up; I simply waited.
Lara finally shifted position, and when I glanced up, she was looking at Serena. "You're the one who is going to be stuck guarding her for the next two months. I suppose that is punishment enough. Please don't push it."
"No, Alpha," Serena said immediately.
Lara sat down and looked over at me. "Because I don't want to encourage you for next time," she said.
"I don't think there will be a next time," I told her. "Word is going to get around. Don't mess with us." I looked her in the eye. "I would do it again, and you know it."
"Next time," she said, "you won't be alone."
We reached across the aisle and held hands and didn't let go until the flight landed.
But she still hadn't answered my questions.
* * * *
We arrived at the compound in two vehicles, Emanuel and Rory having met us at the airport. By the time we came to a stop, most of the residents of the compound were waiting, bundled up for the weather. I searched arms, looking for two little bundles of baby. I didn't find them.
"Lara?" I asked. "Where are our babies?"
"They're waiting inside," Elisabeth said.
I turned to Lara. "Will I be able to see them before you lock me up?"
"House arrest," she said immediately. "That means in the house."
"Oh," I said. "I didn't know." I smiled. "May I go see them?"
"Not yet," Lara said. "Wait in the car."
Everyone else got out. Serena and Emanuel took up positions next to my door. There was some signal, and Serena opened the door then reached in and took my arm. I slipped out of the car. Emanuel closed the door then took my other arm, and a moment later, Elisabeth was standing directly in front of me.
I looked up at her, wondering what was going on.
"Eyes down," she said so quietly no one else could hear. I immediately lowered my eyes, staring into her chest instead. Elisabeth reached out, clasping my arms, and Serena and Emanuel released me. Elisabeth shoved me forcefully against the hood of the SUV, bending me backwards uncomfortably.
I didn't struggle.
She took her time lowering her mouth over my throat.
It is difficult for a human mouth to close properly over a human throat. This would be far easier for her as a wolf, or if I were a fox. But still, she took as much of my throat into her mouth as she could, and then she began to tighten.
I began to whimper immediately. But Elisabeth didn't relax and instead tightened even further. My token whimpers of submission turned real. My heart began hammering in my chest, and I knew right away I was giving off a fear scent.
Elisabeth held me like that, and it was very difficult to avoid turning my whimpers into yelps.
Finally Elisabeth released me, slowly, but she whispered into my ear. "You understand?"
"Yes," I said in a low voice. "Everyone is angry I did your duty, and now I have to pay for it besides. Finish it." I was hurt and angry.
She didn't release me entirely. Instead, she roughly handed me to Serena. I expected Serena to march me into the house, but instead, she also pushed me against the car. I looked around frantically, but when she pushed me further, I leaned back against the hood and lifted my chin for her.
She was almost as rough with me as Elisabeth had been, something she had never done to me before, and she held me just as long as Elisabeth had.
After Serena, one by one, the other enforcers in the pack took my throat, some more gently than others. Gia and Angel were last. By the time it got to Gia, I was near tears. I could smell my own fear as wolf after wolf wrapped teeth over my throat. Gia took me from Rory and, at first, handled me roughly. But when she wrapped her mouth over my throat, she was gentle.
The gentleness was almost as bad, and I felt tears sliding down my cheeks when Gia pulled me back off the hood of the car. She passed me to Angel, who hesitated.
"Do it," Elisabeth said into her ear. "It's important, Angel."
Angel was gentle, guiding me over the car as much as pushing me. She bent down and would have only brushed her lips to my throat, but I whispered, "Do it right, Angel." My voice cracked when I said it.
"I can't," she whispered. "I can't hurt you."
"Do it right," I told her again.
So she took my throat, and she squeezed until I whimpered, and then she held me like that, squeezing painfully until her teeth broke my skin.
She pulled me from the car, and Serena and Elisabeth were waiting, each taking an arm. My throat was wet, and I wondered if I was bleeding. I glanced at Angel, seeing her wipe a drop of blood from her lips, and I knew it was mine.
Serena and Elisabeth began marching me to the door. "Lara!" I yelled. "Please don't l
et our babies smell me like this!"
Serena and Elisabeth immediately halted our forward progress, and Lara said, "Angel, Scarlett. Take the babies out the back. Keep them until I call you."
"Yes, Alpha!" Scarlett said immediately. The two of them dashed into the house. I heard them leave out the back, and a moment later, Francesca appeared in the doorway, holding it open.
Serena and Elisabeth marched me into the house, not releasing my arms until we were over the threshold. Lara followed behind, closing the door.
I had been looking forward to a homecoming. I should have realized I was coming home as a prisoner. I kept my eyes lowered to the floor and asked meekly, "May I please clean up?"
"Of course," Lara said immediately. "Welcome home, honey."
I looked over at her but kept my eyes down. I brushed the tears away from my face. Lara stepped closer, and I was ready to step away if she pulled me into her arms. But instead she reached out with one hand and lifted my face to her. "Remember what Serena said to you on the plane," she said.
She didn't let me look away until I nodded once. Then I turned away, following Serena up the stairs. I stopped at the foot. "I'm not going to run away," I said. "Am I allowed privacy?"
"I am still the head of your protective detail, Michaela," Serena said. "That hasn't changed."
"If there is a threat in this house while Lara's babies were here, then our enforcers are all incompetent."
"If I don't verify for myself, then I am incompetent," Serena stated.
I nodded, not looking up at her, and followed her up the stairs and to the room I shared with Lara. I studied the door, and I felt the tears welling in my eyes again. Serena stepped inside and quickly but thoroughly searched the room before calling me inside. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, looking around. Serena stepped out of the closet and crossed to the bathroom, giving it a cursory look, then stepped to the shower and turned on the water for me. She turned back and saw me leaning against the door.
As soon as she looked at me, I lowered my eyes.
"Oh, hey," she said, stepping towards me. "No, Michaela, it's not like that."
I reached for my throat. It was sticky. I pulled my fingers away and looked at them. My fingertips glistened with my own blood.
"Isn't it? Now I understand why you were nervous earlier," I told her. "Angel wouldn't have done this if someone hadn't told her to."
Serena didn't say anything, but when I glanced at her, her brow was furrowed with worry. "Enforcer," I said. "May I know if I should expect more of this?"
"You should have this conversation with Lara," Serena said.
"I believe I will be able to remain calmer if I have it with you," I replied.
"Your sentence is not meant to be a slap on the wrist, Michaela," Serena said. "More importantly, it must not look like one."
I slumped, wondering whether I long I would last if I were going to be passed from one pair of wolf jaws to another for two months.
"Michaela," Serena said. "When Kimberlee Mortens arrived on our doorstep, a war began. And it wasn't just between the Madison pack and the Iowa City pack. The war did not end with the death of Brody Mortens, and it did not end with Daniel's sentencing yesterday."
I looked up at her. "Who am I fighting?"
"I certainly hope not me, Michaela," she responded. "And I am going to have to report this conversation to the alpha."
I instantly became angry. "I didn't start this conversation! I asked what to expect for my punishment."
"No," she said. "You didn't start the conversation, although that last question was borderline."
"Then you set me up."
"Not intentionally. Michaela, I'm trying to help."
"If you just added a month to my sentence, I hope you understand why I won't consider it helping."
"I didn't," she said. "Lara may yell at me, but she won't yell at you. I promise."
I looked back down. "Wolf promises don't mean much to me right now, Serena. May I shower now?"
"Yes. But may I ask for a promise?"
"What?" I looked back up at her.
"Do you promise to give me no trouble?"
"I intend to do my very best to remain a model prisoner, Serena," I said. "I do not know if I will succeed."
"All right," she said. "I guess I wouldn't want a promise for something you aren't sure you can control."
She stepped aside so I could proceed to the bathroom, but I waited, still leaning against the door.
"Serena," I said. "I can handle you and Elisabeth taking my throat. More than that is going to push it and diminish my ability to remain a model prisoner. If that happens again, I will run. I do not deserve it."
I didn't wait for her to respond but stepped past her to the bathroom.
* * * *
I was still in the shower when Lara stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
"Are you okay?" she asked gently.
I wasn't. I didn't answer her. A few seconds later, I heard her clothes land on the floor, and then the shower door opened and she stood there, looking at me. I couldn't meet her eyes.
"Go away," I said quietly.
She didn't answer with words, but she stepped into the shower, reaching for me. I tried to pull away from her, but there was little room to retreat, and soon I found myself enveloped in her strong arms, pulled against her. I tried to push away, but she was far stronger than I was, and holding me wasn't difficult for her.
"Shhh," she said.
"Get out!" I screamed at her. "I didn't deserve that. Get out!"
"It was necessary," she said.
"Yeah, because the wolves need to put the fox in her place. Get out!" I screamed the last two words.
"Michaela," she said gently. "If you think about it, you'll understand why it was necessary. You're reacting from your fear, and you're smarter than this."
"We had agreements, Lara," I said, trying to push her away. "With my history, and you're going to pass me from one set of wolf jaws to another? Leave me alone."
"Will you let me explain?"
"Fine," I said. "Let me go."
"No," she said. "Michaela, you were coming home as the conquering hero. Do you think that's the right impression?"
I didn't answer her, but I let her hold me for a while.
"I am still angry with you," I told her. "If you aren't here to answer my other questions, go away."
"Tell me what you're angry about," she said.
"The subterfuge."
"Not the trial?"
"The way it was conducted, yes. I knew you would have to punish me. I didn't realize there would be a trial, but I'm not angry about that. But the subterfuge and the way you let me believe the worst have made me angry. I can't trust any of you anymore!"
"How about the punishment."
"I don't deserve all of it!"
She tightened for a minute, then asked, "What else?"
"Threatening banishment if my friends don't report me. You're making them pick sides."
"Are you going to grill them, Michaela?"
"Not now! Now I don't even dare talk to them about anything at all, in case I slip. Did Serena report our conversation?"
"Yes. No one is in trouble for it."
"I could have been, and I didn't even go looking for that conversation. I can't talk to anyone about anything. I'll slip; it won't be intentional, but I'll slip, and then if they report it, you'll add to my sentence. If they don't, but you find out, you're obligated to banish them."
"If you slip, they'll report it. Your suggestion to take notes was a good idea. I hadn't thought of it."
I pushed her away. "Get out!"
She looked at me. I was glowering at her, and she was a little angry too, but she softened her expression and asked, "What else are you angry about?"
"That you won't answer my questions."
Then she spoke very quietly. "Maybe that's why I am here now. And maybe we can work through our anger with each ot
her."
"You don't have anything to be angry about."
"Don't I?" she asked. "You disobeyed me. You went around behind my back while letting me believe everything was fine. You made decisions you had no right to make."
"I had every right!" I spat. "As the offended party, I had every right. If you think I am ever going to accept an order that could be phrased as 'Michaela, remain a victim', you are insane. And as the mother of the next potential targets, I had every right."
"We could discuss the first one," Lara said tightly. "But do you think you had more right on the second than I do?"
I looked down, not meeting her eyes. "No. Of course not." Then I looked up. "Serena said you were proud of me, and you agreed with her."
"I'm proud you were so fierce. I am not proud you did it in the first place. I am very angry, Michaela. I am not happy with Daniel, either. He let you off far too easily."
"I was doing my duty!"
"You were doing one version of it," Lara said. "You weakened me in the process. You weakened me badly. I used every bit of political capital I had to keep you alive and bring you back here!"
I looked back down. I hadn't thought about the political difficulties I was causing her. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry. That's just great," she said. "My only focus since you left has been to get you back here alive."
"I'm sorry," I said again.
"I'm supposed to be able to count on you, Michaela! I am supposed to be able to count on your support. Publicly, I need you to stand next to me, not opposed to me. And privately I need to know you are being honest with me. How the hell am I supposed to trust you now?"
I didn't have an answer for that.
"All you had to do was come to me."
"You wouldn't have let me do it!"
"Not alone, no," she replied. "But we would have figured something out. I don't know what, but we would have figured something out."
Her words deflated me entirely. I hadn't spent any effort at all thinking about the trouble I had made for the alpha. I had thought about the personal side of things, the hurt for my wife and my friends, but not once had I considered what I was doing to my pack alpha.