by Mary Arden
‘Good for you,’ Mrs Briars said now smiling. ‘If you are that kind of girl, we shall get on just fine.’
Later that evening, after I had made us something to eat, Duncan lit the fire and we played chess. After a couple of games, he asked me, ‘What name should we give our son, Hamish, James or Malcolm?’ and then added smiling, ‘—unless it’s a girl, of course!’
‘It won’t be a girl, because before I left the farm, Mrs Humble tied a ring onto a thread and hung it over my tummy,’ I told him, ‘and it swung left to right, so she’s sure it’s a boy.’
‘What old wives’ nonsense!’ he chuckled, ‘but just in case, how about Alice?’
‘Let’s wait. Oh, and by the way,’ I said, with a grin, ‘checkmate!’
I was happy to discover that our bed was very comfortable and despite the baby keeping me awake for half the night, I still managed to get some rest. Directly after breakfast Duncan set off for the aerodrome, and I finished unpacking my things. I then made my way into Freshfield, where I found a friendly grocer who delivered locally. When I got back, I noticed that the fireplace had already been re-laid for the evening’s fire and a bowl of snowdrops had been placed on the dining-room table, which made me feel very happy. That evening, Duncan took me for a drive to the beach and we had a lovely walk along the coastal road. We then found a fish and chip shop where we bought two portions ‘to take home’. I popped them in our small oven and once they were piping hot we ate them by the fire, which was bliss!
When I went to see Mrs Briars’ doctor, he told me that everything was fine, but that his young partner, Doctor Collins, would take care of me, as he was the obstetrics expert. Doctor Collins then gave me the name of a Maternity Hospital in Southport, and suggested that I inspect it first and then if I liked it, to book myself in for the last week of June.
‘Gosh, is my baby due that soon?’ I asked a little surprised.
The young doctor smiled and said, ‘Well, the baby seems to think so!’
Duncan quickly got into a routine at Speke aerodrome and he seemed to be taking his new role all in his stride. I had never seen him so relaxed. And it didn’t take me long to settle in either, as everything I needed was nearby and Mrs Briars and her housekeeper kept a constant eye on me.
When I next rang my mother she told me that they were settling into their new house, and that Aunt Beth had been invaluable as usual making curtains and arranging the china. Apparently my father had even managed to find a ‘proper gardener’, who knew how to grow peaches and grapes in the greenhouses. That will make him very happy, I thought.
The following day, Duncan received a letter from his sister Celia, but instead of being happy he suddenly went white as a sheet.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.
‘The stupid girl has got herself pregnant,’ he whispered.
‘Pregnant?’ I queried. ‘How? I mean she can’t be, she isn’t married!’
Duncan handed me the letter and then said he needed to go for a long walk, while I read it.
After waiting for weeks to hear from her boyfriend, Celia had apparently grown desperate, and had gone to see his Senior Officer to ask where he was. She was shattered to find out that he had gone on leave to be with his wife and children. I couldn’t begin to imagine how she must have felt when she had found out that the man she loved was married and had a family. Father John and Bumble had obviously not been happy to hear that their youngest daughter was going to be an unmarried mother but they hadn’t judged her and were being very supportive, which didn’t surprise me at all. I decided that I would give her my full support too. She had put a PS at the bottom of her letter to let us know that Janet and Bertie’s baby boy had been born the previous week. Poor Celia, I thought, how could that bloody man have done this to her? I burst into tears.
When Duncan returned from his walk, I could see that he had been crying too. I held him in my arms and suggested that he ask for a 72 so that he could go home. ‘Tell her we love her and that we’ll do anything we can to help her look after her child.’
It wasn’t until he was asleep that I realised Celia’s baby must be due at about the same time as ours. Our babies would almost be twins! Father John and Bumble would soon have three grandchildren, all of a similar age, only a month or two between them.
Two days later Duncan went to Perth to see what could be done to make things less upsetting for his family, and when he got home, he told me that it had been agreed that Celia would change her name by deed poll and let it be known that she was a war widow, so that when she applied for either a teaching post, or as a Housemother at a boarding school somewhere in England after the war she wouldn’t be rejected for being a ‘fallen woman’.
When we inspected the Christiana Hartley Maternity Hospital at Southport General Infirmary, we liked it very much. It was quite small and very clean and I felt sure it would do quite well enough for me. The Matron booked me in for mid June, telling me to check regularly with my local doctor and not to come in until the pains were at twenty-minute intervals.
‘Pain?’ I asked her.
‘Yes dear, pain like you have never felt before,’ she warned me and then thought carefully for a moment before adding, ‘Imagine going to the loo when you haven’t been able to for several days; it’s a bit like that but a lot, lot worse!’
I didn’t like the sound of that at all.
On the way home, I saw someone reading a copy of the Daily Express and stopped in my tracks when I saw the headline ‘Hitler is Dead’. I bought myself a copy of the paper and read that Hitler had been killed at his command post in Berlin the day before, ‘according to a Hamburg radio announcement’. I hoped that this was true and would mean the war would end soon but the paper also said that Admiral Doenitz was now the new Fuhrer and had announced that, ‘The military struggle will continue,’ so perhaps not.
When I discussed the news with Duncan that evening, he told me that he thought it was true that Hitler was dead, but perhaps the time, place and way he had died might not be, ‘Don’t believe everything you read in the papers, darling, after all propaganda tricks are employed by both sides!’
On the 8th May, 1945, Winston Churchill officially announced that the war with Germany was finally over, but in his speech he also said, ‘We may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing; but let us not forget for a moment the toil and efforts that lie ahead. Japan, with all her treachery and greed, remains un-subdued. The injury she has inflicted on Great Britain, the United States, and other countries, and her detestable cruelties, call for justice and retribution. We must now devote all our strength and resources to the completion of our task, both at home and abroad. Advance, Britannia! Long live the cause of freedom, God save the King!’
Duncan suddenly got up, grabbed me by both hands and we started dancing around the room, but unfortunately my tummy kept getting in the way, which made us giggle like schoolchildren, so we gave that idea up and kissed each other instead. We then went out into the streets and it was quite a sight to see so many people dancing, waving Union Jacks and smiling at each other. The atmosphere was wonderful and it was a very happy day but in the back of my mind I kept hearing Churchill’s words and knew that the war wouldn’t really be over until the Japanese surrendered too.
‘Have you any idea when you might be sent to Trincomalee?’ I asked Duncan, as we were getting ready to go to bed.
‘No darling, but I’ll get embarkation leave first, why?’
‘Well, I was wondering if the baby starts just as you are about to leave, do you think Mrs Briars would let Mummy stay here with me instead of you?’
‘Why don’t you ask her?’ he said, ‘Mrs Briars might even have a spare room in the house and I have no doubt that she’d be glad to make a bit more money!’
One evening we had a telephone call from Father John to tell us that Celia had given birth to a baby boy and that both were doing well. As both Duncan’s sisters had given birth to boys, I wondered what the odds were that we would have one
too, and for the first time started to think that we were more likely to have a girl.
I rang my mother to tell her about Celia’s baby and afterwards she asked me how long I had before it would no longer be safe to travel, so I told her that the doctor had thought I had about a month left, but as the baby’s head was down it could be sooner. She suggested that I come home to them, as soon as Duncan had his embarkation leave, which I agreed to do but a week later Duncan was told that his leave had been cancelled and that he would be needed at Speke every day until he left for Trincomalee.
As I was due a medical check up in the morning, I decided to ask Doctor Collins’s advice, and he said, ‘Well I think it would be a great joy and comfort for your husband if he was able to see his baby before he has to leave.’
‘Well, of course I would like him to see our baby before he leaves too, but how is that possible unless it decides to arrive early?’ I asked.
‘Well, as your baby is head down and ready to pop out, we could arrange for it to be induced, if you like,’ the doctor said smiling at me and then realising that I had no idea what he was talking about, he then kindly explained, ‘That means that we can break the waters, so that the baby is born almost immediately.’
When I got home, I asked Duncan whether he thought it was a good idea to induce the baby before he left and he was over the moon at the idea. ‘Oh darling, that would be splendid, as long as there are no unnecessary risks involved.’
Duncan picked me up after lunch the next day and we went straight to the Maternity hospital, expecting to have the baby that very afternoon, but of course it was never going to be quite that easy.
When we arrived, Duncan was told to go for a walk and come back in an hour. I was then taken into a room and a nurse told to remove my lower garments and wait for the hospital doctor.
‘This shouldn’t hurt much,’ the doctor said, which was obviously a well-used lie.
‘Ooo… oow!’ I squealed. I half expected to see my baby’s head appear any minute between my legs, but there was nothing.
‘You can get dressed again now and go home,’ the nurse told me.
‘What happens next?’ I asked feeling a bit bewildered.
‘The birth will start with gentle pains, so ignore them,’ the doctor ordered, ‘and don’t contact us again until the pains are really strong and occur every twenty minutes. Then ring us to say you are coming in’
‘Can’t I stay here?’ I begged. ‘What if the baby is born before I can get back?’
‘It won’t be,’ he said smiling, ‘and don’t worry, babies usually take their time, so you’ll have plenty of warning.’
When Duncan came back to collect me he was as disappointed as I was, but when I told him that I was hungry, he cheered up and suggested we have a meal at the local pub, as a treat.
‘I’d rather have fish and chips at home,’ I told him ‘just in case’. But I needn’t have worried, as there wasn’t a twinge all evening.
The next morning Duncan said, as he was getting ready to leave for Speke, ‘I’ll ring you at lunchtime and see how you are and I’ll make arrangements to be free for the rest of the day. Isn’t this exciting?’ I didn’t agree at all, as I was terrified.
The very second that I waved goodbye to him out of the sitting room window, the twinges started, as if the baby knew I was now on my own. The twinges then turned into cramps but they weren’t happening every twenty minutes, more like every thirty-five, so I tried to ignore them as I had been told to do.
By lunchtime, the pains were starting to come every twenty minutes, but there was still no phone call from Duncan, so I decided to call him at the aerodrome but as he wasn’t there I spoke to one of his fellow officers instead.
‘Oh I’m sorry Mary, but Duncan has been held up, as we have a visiting Admiral,’ he informed me. ‘May I suggest that you call for an ambulance and I’ll tell him you are in labour the minute he gets in. Good luck old girl!’
As the ambulance pulled up outside the house, I had two more strong contractions. Mrs Briars let the men in and then she and Mrs Wallace started fussing over me, checking that I had everything I needed to take with me. I had packed my suitcase in advance but then suddenly remembered my sponge bag was still in the bathroom
‘Take your time dear, there is no hurry,’ Mrs Wallace said calmly.
‘No hurry?’ I shrieked, now gasping in pain. ‘I’m about to have my baby!’
The pains were coming every fifteen minutes now and I just hoped that Mrs Briars had rung the Maternity hospital for me to warn them that I was on my way. Well, if she hasn’t they can hardly turn me away now can they? I reasoned between gasps.
‘Everything is going as it should, Mrs Ogilvie,’ one of the nurses said when I finally at the hospital. ‘Get undressed and put on this gown.’ I was then taken to a ward, put in one of the beds and given a woman’s magazine to read. I managed to survive for the next hour without making too much fuss until the pains started to come every ten minutes, and then I begged, ‘Nurse please do something.’
‘Right it’s time to go now, have you got a dressing gown?’ the nurse asked, but there wasn’t enough time to put it on, as just then the pain was so unbearable that I nearly fainted.
‘Ooooooow!’
The next thing I remembered was being raced down a corridor on a trolley, into a lift and then into what looked like a prison cell full of torture equipment with weird hoops on the end of straps to keep my legs in the air. I then saw some very sharp looking knives and thought… ‘what the hell is happening?’
‘Take a few deep breaths,’ the nurse said, placing a mask over my face, ‘it’s a mixture of gas and air and will help relieve the pain.’ I did what she suggested but it didn’t help at all.
‘Oh God there it is again… please no, not again, Oooow!’ I screamed and then the pain suddenly stopped for a moment and everything was incredibly peaceful and quiet.
‘Not long now, Mrs Ogilvie,’ the nurse said, ‘the pains will be different next time and we’ll be asking you to push. Do you understand?’
I nodded and then mumbled to the smiling face gazing down at me, ‘Can you give my husband a message from me please?’
‘Yes, of course, what would you like us to tell him?’ the nurse asked me kindly.
‘That I will never, ever let him into my bed again,’ I said crossly and then added, ‘I am going back to being a virgin!’
The doctor and the nurse both roared with laughter and then the doctor said, ‘Come on, one more big push, it won’t hurt!’
‘Liar!’ I yelled and then pushed with all my might until suddenly the pain stopped and as I looked up through my tears I saw a tiny pink baby covered in blood now in the doctor’s hands.
‘Congratulations! You have an adorable, but very small daughter, Mrs Ogilvie. Well done!’
‘By the way where is your husband?’ I heard another voice say, which made me burst into tears realising that the man I loved so much had missed the birth of our first child. It wasn’t his fault of course and when he eventually arrived and took our daughter in his arms for the first time, he looked at me with a big grin on his face and said, ‘Lets call her Charlotte.’ That’s perfect I thought and as I looked at our little girl, I knew I was in love all over again.
‘The doctor says she is too tiny to risk bringing her home for a few days,’ Duncan said now handing Charlotte back to me, ‘so I’ll come and visit you whenever I can, hopefully at lunchtime and then again around this time every evening.’ He then left to make sure that the Admiral, who had been responsible for him missing the birth of his daughter, was being looked after back at Speke.
When Duncan came in for a quick visit at lunchtime the following day, I told him that we still hadn’t got a Moses basket or bedding or small enough baby things but he had already thought of all that. ‘Don’t worry darling, I rang your mother last night and she has everything at Hilltop House ready and my parents are sending a big parcel of baby things too. My mother
has suggested we line one of the drawers from the chest with a pillow and blanket to go on with.’
Charlotte only weighed five pounds at birth and as she had ‘arrived’ two weeks early she was treated as a premature baby. My bosoms were getting sore with milk being pumped out a regular intervals and to add insult to injury my lovely daughter decided that she preferred the taste of ‘Cow and Gate’ to mother’s milk and spat mine out!
‘Never mind dear, at least with a baby bottle you know exactly how much she’s taking,’ the ward sister told me.
Duncan always had a big smile on his face every time he came to see us but one evening I noticed that he looked rather sad, so I asked him, ‘What is it, Duncan?’
‘I have to leave in two days,’ he said quietly. I stared at him, as if he’d just told me that the moon had suddenly fallen out of the sky.
‘Oh Duncan, you can’t go, not yet. Please stay with me. I don’t know how to care for our baby without you,’ I cried.
Duncan then told me that he had called my mother, and that she was already on her way. ‘Mrs Briars has agreed to rent the spare room to your mother and Mrs Wallace will cook all your meals, except for breakfast for as long as you both need to stay in her house until Charlotte is big enough to travel to Sussex,’ he said smiling at me and mopping my eyes with his spare clean handkerchief.
After Duncan had left, the Matron came to see me and told me that if I promised to do exactly as I had been advised, I could take my baby home the following day, so that she could be with her Daddy on his last night in England. I could have kissed her!
Armed with feeding instructions, two glass bottles with teats, a tin of baby powdered milk and a set of borrowed premature baby clothes, I waited for the ward sister to come and give me some lessons on how to look after my baby. When she arrived she showed me, using a doll that she had brought with her, how to swaddle her in a shawl, ‘Just like Baby Jesus!’ she said kindly. ‘This will make her feel safe as if she was still in your womb. You must put her down on a different side of her body after each feed to avoid pressure on her head and only wash her body, don’t give her a bath until she had gained weight, as this will save energy and prevent her getting cold.’ She then put Charlotte back in her little linen bed in the night nursery where she would spend the night with ten other babies, so that the mothers could get a good night’s sleep.