by Eric Vall
Baphomet’s hooved leg came up and struck me in the shin, and black tunnels appeared around my vision as I heard a wet pop. Excruciating pain shot through my left leg as I fell down onto one knee and just barely ducked out of the way of the demon’s second hoof. It swished past the spot where my face would have been, and I came up swinging.
The Unhallowed Sword sliced right into the Demon King’s calf, and Baphomet let out a goat-like cry of pain. However, my sword didn’t sever the fucker’s leg like I’d hoped. Instead, my dark blade lodged itself into the back of his appendage as if it were an axe sticking into a piece of wood.
This bastard must have had some pretty thick skin.
The next thing I knew, Baphomet’s hand grabbed me by the hair. He yanked his leg back down onto the ground and, at the same time, brought my head down into the rocky brimstone.
I felt the taste of warm, irony blood in my mouth as the Demon King slammed my face into the ground and then lifted my head up once more.
Not this time, bitch.
I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, surrounded the metal ball that hung from my belt, and then ordered it to launch itself forward as a spear.
Baphomet let out a gasp of surprise as he released my head and threw up his hand to protect himself. The makeshift spear stabbed through the fleshy palm of his hand as if it were made of cardboard, and then I ordered it to tie around the goat-headed demon’s arm like a snake.
Next, I commanded the metal to jerk backward, and the demon literally hit himself in the face. Blackish-red blood sprayed from his skull as he wobbled, off balance, and then I quickly blasted the fucker with the largest fireball of red flames that I could muster.
Baphomet let out a grunt of frustration as he was launched through a nearby wall of bones and disappeared from sight.
“Superbia!” I called out as I whipped around to check on my friends. “Could I get an assist here?”
Most of my teammates were engaged with the tiny red and black demons on the ground, and they were dropping the fuckers like flies.
Todd and Tris were double teaming the Daeva. The mischievous imp was zipping around, crop dusting his opponents with a cloud of silver, reeferfied mist. Then, once the crowd of Daeva were good and stoned, Tris cartwheeled by gleefully and took them out with her dual Tommy guns.
Gula, Deja, and Eclipse formed another team at the other side of the room. The brunette time-manipulator was snatching up Daeva with her speared chain and tossing them into the sky, where the other two took them out with a swipe of their axe and naginata.
Sia and Mirage seemed to be holding their own against the Daeva that were attacking them, as well. The redhead picked up the tiny demons in her black Hellfire and then watched coyly as they suffocated to death. Meanwhile, Mirage was making short work of the bastards with her gladius sword.
The rest of the team must have been up on the roof, because bodies of Daeva were falling down through the broken window above. In the short time we’d been engaged with Baphomet and his demons, my team had already killed enough of the fuckers to make a Civil War battlefield jealous.
“On it!” Superbia called out as she used her black Hellfire to snap her opponent’s neck.
Then the succubus madame spun around, summoned golden Hellfire into her hands, and blasted it across the palace. The beam wrapped me in its warm embrace, and I instantly felt my body begin to tingle with its healing sensation. Nearly instantly, I felt the pain disappear from my face and my splintered shin, and within seconds I was good as new.
Just in time, too.
The moment I was fully healed, Baphomet came flying at me through the wall. His dark eyes were full of rage, and he had his razor-sharp horns pointed directly at my chest.
I quickly created a series of violet barriers, ran up them like a makeshift staircase, and then flipped over Baphomet nonchalantly. As I landed on the ground, I slapped my glowing purple hand against my breastplate. Instantly, the shimmering spell spread across my armor, all the way down to my boots and around my face to form an enchanted, translucent suit of armor.
“Alright, motherfucker,” I growled as I threw out my hands in a challenge, “let’s try this again.”
Baphomet came back around with his charge, but I was done playing around, and I threw up a wall of purple Hellfire to block his attack.
The goat-headed demon just laughed, summoned black Hellfire into his hand, and blasted it at the wall of fire. I watched in horror as the normally-reliable spell withered and faded before me, and Baphomet’s razor-sharp horns barreled toward me, unfazed.
I tried to jump out of the way, but the Demon King had caught me off-guard. His left horn caught me in the stomach, and I let out a grunt of frustration as I was tossed backwards. I rolled across the ground for a moment, used my momentum to toss myself back to my feet, and felt my breastplate for damage.
It was still all in one piece, but there was a dull ache in my abdomen. My armor had held up, but that bruise was gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning.
Baphomet came around again with his magic-neutralizing Hellfire at the ready.
I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, reached out, and ordered the metal around Baphomet’s arm to yank him to the side.
The Demon King let out a gasp as he smacked into the wall and sent bones flying in all directions. I dragged him across the floor under the power of my spell until he finally got wise and deactivated my silver Hellfire with a flash of black magic.
As Baphomet slowly got back up onto his cloven feet, I used my silver Hellfire to liquify the metal on his arm and then call it back into my hand. As it returned, the metallic fluid shaped itself into a large warhammer, complete with intricate detailing. After the weapon had fully manifested itself in my hands, I lit it up with a blast of Divine Light.
“Alright,” I mocked the goat-headed bastard in front of me, “if I can’t use my spells to kick your ass, I’m just gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.”
“That’s more like it.” Baphomet grinned, and then he stomped his hoof into the ground like a bull preparing to charge. “I look forward to grinding your bones into dust and then putting whatever’s left of your pulverized corpse on display.”
Without another word, the goat-headed demon took a running start toward me. He roared with anticipation as he approached with the Unhallowed Sword still jutting out of his leg, and then he swung at me with a right hook.
I parried his blow with the warhammer, lashed out with its blunt end, and struck Baphomet in the face.
Even though the blow knocked him off-balance, he recovered nearly instantly and returned fire with a headbutt. His massive, horned head smashed into my enchanted helmet, and I felt my brain rattle around in my skull as I was thrown onto my back.
My vision was blurry as I went down, but I was still able to see Baphomet lift up his hoof. He brought it down square onto my chest, and I felt the brimstone beneath me crack against my back as the air was knocked out of my lungs.
He brought up his leg to go for another stomp.
“Not this time, motherfucker,” I snarled.
Then I summoned green Hellfire into my hands, surrounded the Unhallowed Sword with its spell, and yanked it backward.
Baphomet’s eyes went wide as his leg went back with the sword, and there was a spray of blood as the blade was pulled loose from the flesh of his calf and tossed onto the ground. There was nowhere for the demon to go but down, and I just barely rolled out of the way as his massive frame collapsed onto the spot where I had been laying.
Then I jumped to my feet, raised my warhammer above my head, and brought it down on Baphomet’s spine.
There was a loud cracking sound as the weapon smashed into the fucker’s back and drove him into the ground. While he was disoriented, I repeated the action two more times before I went in for the killing blow. I raised the warhammer, aimed for Baphomet’s skull, and let out a growl of determination as I went in for the finisher.
Baphomet ha
d other ideas.
In one swift motion, the fucker rolled over, tossed up his wounded hand, and caught the hilt of the warhammer like it was nothing. I tried to liquify the weapon, but Baphomet had already activated his black Hellfire.
Then the Demon King threw up his hoof and kicked me hard in the stomach.
I let out a grunt of pain as the blow threw me back into the ground, and I only had seconds to recover before the head of my own hammer was upon me. I blocked the attack with a cast of purple Hellfire, rolled out of Baphomet’s range, and then tossed a handful of yellow shuriken at the bastard.
Baphomet dispelled the attack with a wave of his glowing black hand, but that was exactly what I wanted.
I summoned green Hellfire into my hand, reached out to the Unhallowed Sword that was laying on the other side of the room, and then called it back to my hands. I caught it, enchanted it with red flames, and then was just able to block the incoming blow from the hammer.
Sparks of black and red Hellfire flew as the weapons clashed, and I sneered as I locked eyes with Baphomet.
“Enchanted weapons,” he mused, “they’re a blessing and a curse, aren’t they, Nephilim?”
I pushed Baphomet back, ducked down, and then spun around and took a swipe at his legs. The Unhallowed Sword connected with his shins, and the fucker let out a yelp of pain as splatters of his dark red blood splashed out onto the floor.
Baphomet let out a roar of rage and then began to swing at me wildly.
I sidestepped the warhammer, summoned bronze Hellfire around my fist, and then slugged the goat-headed fucker in the face.
His head shook violently from my spell, and for a second I thought it was going to make a three-hundred-sixty degree turn, but Baphomet recovered with a flash of black Hellfire.
I stabbed at his noggin with the tip of my blade, but he was able to parry it gracefully with a spin.
As he came around, I felt the warhammer slam into the back of my armor. A sharp pain shot through my spine as my body was launched forward, and I took out a wall of bones with a clatter.
I groggily pulled myself back to my feet as I watched the King of the Fifth Circle charge toward me with the warhammer at the ready.
“Yo! Mr. Tumnus!” I heard Todd’s voice cackle. “Catch!”
Suddenly, the body of a Daeva careened toward Baphomet’s head. The demon spun around, swung at the incoming corpse with the warhammer, and turned it into little more than a spray of gore.
“Did you really think that--” Baphomet began, but Todd was on a roll.
“Pikachu, I choose you!” the imp cackled and pretended to throw a pokeball.
Inpulsa zipped down, landed in front of Baphomet, and then sent a massive bolt of yellow Hellfire in his direction. At the same time, Libidine, Cupi, and Mephisto launched spells at the bastard from above.
Baphomet held the warhammer in front of him, surrounded it with black Hellfire, and then cackled as the attacks faded into oblivion.
“When will you learn?” he mocked. “The King of the Fifth Circle doesn’t--”
Suddenly, the tip of Eve’s rapier burst forth through Baphomet’s chest.
“You’re not in Narnia anymore, bitch!” Todd mused from above.
However, despite the surprise attack, Baphomet was still standing. His brow furrowed with white-hot rage as he reached up, grabbed the blade of the rapier, and then pulled it even further through his chest.
Eve gasped in shock as she was whipped forward, and then Baphomet tossed his head backward. His noggin smacked into Eve’s face, and she groaned in pain as she fell backward onto the ground. Her nose was now trickling blood, and I could tell she was injured pretty badly.
My stomach burned with rage at the sight of the beautiful woman being brutalized, and I vowed to make this motherfucker pay for that.
“Valiant effort,” Baphomet chuckled, “but my anatomy is different than most demons. You’re going to have to try harder than that.”
I was sure as fuck going to take him up on that offer.
“Open fire!” I commanded the team, even though I knew it wouldn’t do much good.
However, it would give me a brief distraction. And that was just what I needed to get Eve out of harm’s way.
I summoned green Hellfire into my hands as I watched the assault on Baphomet begin. Then I created a portal underneath Eve’s body, watched as she fell through, and made her reappear in my arms.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” the succubus giggled groggily as she looked up at me with her violet eyes.
“We have to get you over to Sia,” I corrected.
The team of Mephisto, Cupi, Liby, Todd, Eligor, and Inpulsa were all keeping Baphomet engaged, but Sia and the rest of the crew were still fighting off the Daeva.
With Eve still in my arms, I took off toward the battlefield.
“I-I’ll be fine,” Eve protested, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“Hey, medic!” I called out to the madame. “We need some help over here.”
Superbia kept her eyes on the seemingly endless waves of Daeva that were coming through the doorway, but she reached out with a glowing gold hand and blasted her healing spell in my direction.
It was a bit off the mark, but I was able to position Eve in its trajectory. The second the golden Hellfire touched her body, the blood running out of her nose began to dry up, and the crook in her brow straightened itself back to normal.
Soon, the redhead with the wavy hair was as good as new.
I sat Eve back on her feet and then turned my attention to the Daeva. These little bastards were swarming into the building like a pack of lemmings. No matter how many of these guys my team took out, five more seemed to take their place.
“I hate to be a downer,” Tris called out as she blasted a few more Daeva with her Tommy guns, “but if we don’t do something soon, we’re royally boned.”
“Boned … ” I pondered aloud. “Tris, that’s it! You’re a genius!”
“All in a day’s work, my dude,” the brunette giggled. “But, uh, for the record … how am I a genius? Like, I totally know why, but Eve over there probably doesn’t.”
“Your powers,” I explained as I blasted a Daeva with a shot of red Hellfire. “We’re surrounded by a literal building of bones. And what are bones?”
Tris shot a few more Daeva, and then she turned her head and shot me a five-mile smile.
“Ahhhhh,” she mused, “I get it. Gula! Boost me!”
“Right now?” Gula called back as she decapitated one of the small demons. “I’m a little busy!”
“Tag me in!” I offered as I ran toward the Sister of Gluttony.
I slashed my sword through the crowd of Daeva as I approached and took down a handful of the fuckers. Then, once I was close enough to Gula, I engaged with the group of grunts surrounding her.
I threw down a combo of yellow and red Hellfire, and dozens of tiny shuriken stabbed into the Daevas’ pectorals. At first, the weapons did nothing. Then I snapped my fingers, and they exploded with a burst of gore as the fuckers’ chests were turned into empty cavities.
While her opponents were distracted, Gula threw her boosting brown flames around Tristitia.
“Ittttt’ssss showtime!” the Sister of Sloth cackled wildly as she called forth her wings and took to the sky.
Tris stopped in midair, summoned orange Hellfire around her body, and then blasted it into the walls of the castle. The entire Palace of Bones seemed to be encased by the necromancy spell, and then the bones themselves began to rattle like the structure was being rocked by an earthquake.
I watched with amusement as the bones began to fall from the walls and ceiling and then slowly pull themselves together into misformed, Cronenberg-esque figures. When all was said and done, we found ourselves standing on a barren island. There was no more Palace of Bones.
Tris had just turned this entire building into a fucking army of reanimated skeletons.
The succubus let out a whistl
e, and the misshapen abominations converged on the Army of the Dejected. There were screams of terror as the Daeva were skewered and torn to bits by the necromatic army.
More importantly, that freed up everyone to focus on Baphomet.
“Let’s take this fucker out once and for all!” I commanded the second half of my forces, and then I motioned for them to follow me into battle.
Eclipse, Tris, Gula, Sia, Mirage, and Deja let out a triumphant cry as they charged at Baphomet.
The King of the Fifth Circle was still dispelling the attacks of the others as we approached, but he must have seen us coming. Baphomet took to the sky, summoned black Hellfire into his hands, and then blasted the attack down on us with a cry of fury.
We all tried to dodge the attack, but it was too quick. The black Hellfire struck our group, but it didn’t seem to do any damage.
At least, not at first.
Then I saw my armor begin to flicker, and I tried to summon it back with a cast of violet Hellfire. However, all that came out were purple sparks.
“What the fuck?” Tris demanded as her Tommy guns clicked and indicated they were empty.
“His attack just sapped us of our powers!” Sia gasped as she tried to cast her black Hellfire, but nothing happened.
The King of the Fifth Circle blasted out another wave of black Hellfire, and the other half of my team was struck by the spell.
Todd let out a girlish scream of terror as his black Hellfire disappeared, and he plummeted through the sky and smacked into the ground.
“He’s honeydicking us, bro!” the imp bemoaned. “Isn’t that, like, against the rules of Hell or something?”
“I’m afraid it’s not,” Baphomet announced devilishly as he hovered above us. “How do you think I’ve been able to keep tabs on you this whole time, even while you’re invisible? The only reason I let you pass through my Circle unscathed is because I wanted to. It’s all part of the plan, but I’m tired of waiting.”
“Why don’t you come down here and fight me, one-on-one?” I demanded. “Winner take all, fight to the death, hand-to-hand.”
“Nice try, Nephilim,” the goat-headed bastard shook his head, “But I’m not an idiot. I don’t know what hair-brained scheme you’ve been cooking up in that pathetic mortal head of yours, but I’m not falling for it. You’re in no position to be making demands.”