by Debby Mayne
"I sort of thought so, but I wasn't sure."
"So you decided to tell me I look nice, give me a gift, offer your services, and touch me to cover all the bases."
"Yeah, pretty much."
"I have to admit I'm flattered you'd go to all that trouble for me."
"You know I think you're worth it, Paula."
They stood there looking at each other for a while until he closed the distance between them. He didn't utter a word as he lifted her fingertips to his lips and dropped a kiss on each one. She glanced down at the floor to gather her thoughts. Through a hammering heart and swirling emotions, she slowly looked up at him.
"Please don't try too hard, Nick."
"I don't want to risk not having you in my life, Paula. You mean everything to me. All you have to do is say the word and I'll give up the Air Force when it comes time to reenlist."
"Stop. I've been thinking about visiting you, and I can't very well do that if you get out of the Air Force."
His eyebrows shot up. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "But I don't know when yet."
"That's fine. I'm just glad you've been thinking about it. We'll make it work, Paula. I'll—"
She held up a finger to stop him. "One thing at a time."
The warmth of his satisfied smile filled the room. Paula remembered her first physical attraction to Nick, and she had to stifle a gasp. She'd never be immune to this man.
"I promised Papa I'd deliver something to his buddy in Tampa tonight. Wanna go with me?"
Paula was tempted to turn him down, but she stopped herself and nodded. "Yes, that would be nice. Where in Tampa?"
"Hyde Park. We can grab a bite to eat in Channelside afterward."
"Sounds good."
"What time can I pick you up?"
After they made arrangements, Nick left the shop, and the tiny space was instantly devoid of energy. Paula closed her eyes, remembering some of the old times they had together. No matter what she'd been through with her mother, as soon as she was with Nick, all was right in her world.
She spent more time on the phone with large wholesale orders than with retail walk-ins. When Alexa arrived, she took over the phone orders.
"We might want to have a separate division for wholesale orders," she said after getting off the phone with a West Coast customer. "Sometimes it's difficult to handle walk-ins when I'm talking to a long-distance client."
"I've already got the Web guy working on the online order form, so it should get a little easier," Paula said. "Tell me your thoughts on phone orders."
Alexa explained a plan that sounded like a good one. She'd obviously put quite a bit of thought into it.
"Would you like to head this up permanently?" Paula asked. "Since it was your idea, I figured it would make sense to put you in charge of it."
Alexa beamed. "I'd love to."
"Ya know, I've been thinking about all you've done for this business, and I believe it's time to give you a raise."
"You don't have to do that. I like working here."
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't get paid for bringing in more business. Without you, Alexa, we wouldn't have half the orders on the books."
Tears sprang to Alexa's eyes. "And without you, I'd be a loser. I never caught on to the whole baking thing, but I love what you have here."
Paula nodded. "You're definitely in your element. I'm going to get with Charlene and see what we can do."
Alexa grinned. "It's funny how my sister is your accountant. I always thought she was the successful one in the family, and I was just along for the ride."
"Well, in my book . . ."—Paula planted her fist firmly on her hip—". . . you're both winners. She's good with numbers, but no one is better than you with customers, both retail and wholesale."
Alexa's whole face glowed. "Thank you for saying that."
Customers started coming in, and soon Amanda arrived after school.
"Homework?" Paula asked.
Amanda made a face and nodded. Paula pointed to the back room, where she'd set up the desk. Amanda rolled her eyes but headed on back good-naturedly. An hour later, she appeared on the sales floor.
"All done?"
Amanda shrugged. "I'm having a little trouble with some math, but I did everything I understand."
"Then come on. Let's go see what we can do about getting you all smart with math again. Alexa, we'll be out in a few minutes."
Once Paula explained the first problem, Amanda was able to do the last three. "You make it seem so easy."
"Well, isn't it?"
"You should've been a teacher," Amanda said as she wrote down the last answer.
"No, I'm right where I should be. I'm afraid if I was a teacher, I wouldn't have any hair left by now."
Amanda giggled. "You are so funny. Can I start working now?"
"Of course." Paula paused and narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure you're done with your homework?"
"Positive." Amanda lifted her hands. "I promise. I have a history test on Friday, though, and I plan to study hard."
"How's your new teacher working out?"
"So much better. She's actually nice."
"Good."
After Paula was sure Alexa and Amanda were okay on the sales floor, she left for the Senior Center. Mildred had everyone on task, and a couple of the ladies had brought snacks, which made the men very happy.
"So how's it going, everyone?" Paula asked.
George Perkins glanced up and lifted a chocolate cupcake. "This is the best job I ever had."
Mildred waved him off. "You'd like digging ditches if someone fed you." She turned to Paula. "Honestly, these people will do anything for food and something to supplement their Social Security."
Paula laughed. "As long as they're happy, I'm good. You're doing an excellent job, Mildred."
The woman grinned as a pinkish color spread up her neck and over her face. "I love working for you. We all do. Our kids even like it since you said we can each have a candle every week. My daughter loves your stuff."
"Our stuff," Paula reminded her. "If you don't need me, I'll leave you to what you were doing."
Paula couldn't believe how well everything was running without her. She didn't know if she should feel bad about not being needed, but she was actually happy.
She called Nick and told him she could be ready early, so he said he was on his way. When he arrived, she flung open the door.
"You look mighty happy," she said as she stepped outside and locked the door behind her.
"That's because I'm with you."
25
Paula tried her best to have fun, but knowing Nick would be gone soon dampened her joy. They made the delivery then headed to Channelside, where they had dinner at Tina's Tapas.
"Not hungry?" Nick asked as she nibbled at her food.
She shook her head and pushed her plate away. "Sorry."
"I'll just get them to box it up for us. Ready to go back?"
Paula didn't want to go home, but she nodded anyway, her pent-up feelings confusing her. Lately her whole life was so off-kilter—with both good and bad things happening. Actually, everything was good except the fact that Nick was leaving.
Nick didn't make small talk. Instead, when they were in the car heading back to Tarpon Springs, he finally spoke. "When can you get away to visit me in Texas?"
"How about after the first of the year?"
She watched his profile as he thought about it and nodded. "Makes sense, with the holidays coming up soon. I'm sure your business will boom."
"It already is, thanks to Alexa."
When they stopped for a light, he turned to Paula. "At least having her and Stephie there will give you some peace of mind when you come to see me."
"Yeah, there is that."
"Mama told me to invite you over for the family get-together before I leave. Wanna join us?"
Paula pursed her lips and shook her head. "No, but tell her thanks."
Nick drove
her home and walked her to the door. She knew he was hoping she'd invite him in, but she was so miserable she wanted to be alone. Strange how the reason for her sadness centered on his leaving, yet being with him made it worse.
He walked her to the door and dropped a feather-soft kiss on her lips. Her legs nearly gave way beneath her, but she leaned against the door.
"See you around," he whispered. "I'll wait here until you're safely inside."
After unlocking the door, she slipped inside and turned the bolt. She waited until she heard the sound of his car pulling away before turning on the light.
Paula moped around until she was too sleepy to stay awake. When she awoke the next day, she felt like she was simply going through the motions of living.
The next several days brought more misery. Nick stopped by the shop each day, but on the day he was due to leave, he didn't show up. She'd given Alexa the day off to spend some time with Nick. Amanda stayed with her until closing.
As they locked the door, Amanda touched Paula's arm. "I know how hard this is for you. If you need to talk, call me later, okay?"
Paula had to bite back the tears in front of her young employee, but the second Amanda took off she let the floodgates open. She sobbed all the way home. Nick was probably on his way to the airport, and she wouldn't see him again for at least a couple of months.
After four nights of very little sleep, Paula ached all over. She'd cried at night until she had no more tears. Each morning, she lived on coffee until her stomach rumbled. She ate barely enough to keep going. All her clothes had started to sag on her.
Paula couldn't avoid looking Alexa in the eye anymore. Alexa's eyes bugged. "You have got to quit doing this to yourself, Paula. Nick loves you, and you love him. I don't see the problem."
"Um . . . yeah, I guess you don't." Paula sniffled and looked down. "It's complicated."
"You're both stubborn. And you're both in terrible shape."
"Oh, I'm sure Nick's fine."
"I don't think so," Alexa said. "He kept biting our heads off the night he left, so Uncle Cletus took him to the airport early."
"Sorry."
"Nick said the same thing you just said. It's complicated. But how complicated can it be, really? People fall in love all the time, and they find ways to be together. You and Nick have always had something special. I've never known any two people who are more meant for each other than you guys."
Paula forced a smile. "Thank you, but it's still not that simple. For the first time in my life, I have a home that is solid."
"The same thing goes for Nick. He loves his job, and he doesn't want to be tied down to the sponge or bakery business. Uncle Cletus even told him to find something he loves so he can stay here. No one's gonna try to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do. But they know how much he wants to be with you."
"I'll be visiting him soon," Paula said. "Maybe things will seem clear then."
"Nothing will be clear unless both of you open your eyes."
Paula was about to comment when the phone rang. Alexa took the call and pulled out an order form, indicating it was a wholesale order. She'd be a while.
Each day was busier than the one before, so Paula barely had time to breathe, let alone worry about her feelings for Nick. Amanda agreed to work a few more hours on Saturdays to help with all the extra business.
"What are your plans for Christmas?" Alexa asked.
Paula shrugged. "I'll probably work late on Christmas Eve, go to the late services at church, then go home and crash."
"Wanna come over and spend the night with us?"
"No thanks," Paula said. "I appreciate the offer, but I like to sleep in my own house."
"I just hate for you to be alone on Christmas."
"I don't mind." And she really didn't.
When she was a little girl, her parents always argued on Christmas morning, and her dad would storm out and not return until night. Years later she learned that her dad was seeing another woman, and that was where he went. When she and her mother moved away, Paula spent most of Christmas Day consoling her mother, who sobbed about how lonely she was. Being alone beat both of those experiences.
Paula fell asleep on Christmas Eve praying for wisdom and the ability to bring glory to God rather than feel sorry for herself. It was late, so she expected to sleep in the next morning. However, a loud rapping on the door startled her awake.
She had no idea who'd be at her house at . . . she glanced at the clock and squinted. It was barely seven o'clock. No one she knew would bother her so early.
When she opened the door, she found herself looking at her mother's tearstained face. "Mom!"
"Are you gonna invite me in, or do I have to stand out here and freeze half to death?"
Paula stepped back and pulled the door open all the way. "Come in, even though I don't see how you can freeze in seventy-degree weather." She glanced toward the car to see if anyone else was with her mother. "Where's Mack?"
Her mother sighed in exasperation. "He went to see his kids. Can you believe he'd do that to me?"
"What's wrong with him seeing his kids on Christmas morning?"
"He went last night. I hung around for a while then decided if he could go see his kids, I could come see mine."
"Mom, that's different. His kids live less than an hour away. Does he know where you are?"
She flicked her hand from the wrist. "I left him a note. Ever since he found out I had a private investigator watching him, he's been different. It's like he doesn't trust me now."
"Can't say I blame him."
Her mother shot her a look of disapproval, but she quickly changed the subject. "Whatcha got to eat? I'm starving."
"I picked up a couple of bagels," Paula said. "There's some cream cheese in the fridge."
"I'm in the mood for some eggs. How come you never have decent food around here?"
Paula followed her mother into the kitchen and watched her open the refrigerator door. She pulled out a sack and opened it. "What's this?"
"Leftovers from Tina's Tapas."
Her mother sniffed the contents and made a face. "It doesn't look good."
"If I'd known you were coming, I would have picked up some stuff. You should have called and told me yesterday when the stores were still open."
"How could I have called to tell you when I didn't even know myself?"
Paula thought for a moment then opened the refrigerator. "Do you want a bagel or not?"
"I guess that'll do." Her mother took a step back from the kitchen and glanced around. "Where's your tree?"
"I didn't get one."
"What's wrong with you, Paula? Nothing decent to eat and no tree? What kind of Christmas is this?"
"I went to church last night. It was really nice. The pastor read the Nativity story, and then the children put on a play."
"You didn't pay a bit of attention to me when you were growing up, did you? I tried to teach you all about the important things, and you're living like you came from another planet."
Paula didn't feel like arguing. "Sorry."
"I got your package last week."
"Good," Paula said. "Do you like it?"
"It's very nice. I've always loved cashmere, and you know red is my favorite color. You couldn't go wrong with that."
"Did Mack like the gloves?"
"Yep. In fact, he was wearing them when he left the house."
Paula stood there and tried to think of what to do next. "Want some coffee?"
"Of course."
A half hour later, as they sat at the kitchen table eating bagels and sipping coffee, Paula thought about how her mother hadn't bothered sending anything—not even a card. But she wasn't about to mention it.
"Did you get any presents this year?" her mother asked.
Paula nodded slowly. "Yes."
"Who from?"
"Dad sent me a gift card and a basket of chocolates."
"That's nice. How about Nick? Did he bother with a
present?"
Paula reached for the bracelet still in the box on the corner of the table. "Isn't this pretty?"
Her mother lifted it and turned it over. "It's okay. A ring would be better. When are you two getting married?"
"Mom, that's not open for discussion."
"Don't get so testy with me, young lady. I've—"
A ringing sound came from her handbag. She reached in, pulled out her cell phone, checked the number, and groaned as she took the call.
"Did you get my note?"
Paula got up to refill the coffee while she listened to her mother's side of the conversation. When her mother flipped her phone closed, she stood up.
"Mack's mad."
"Because you came down here?"
"No, because he didn't get my note. I'm sure I left one, but he says it wasn't there."
"So what are you gonna do now?" Paula asked.
"I don't know. Everything is just so difficult. I don't get why he's so upset about my coming down here. He should understand."
"Do you think he'll ever get over you hiring the private investigator?"
"I don't know. Like I said, he doesn't trust me now." She shrugged. "He says he understands, after what I went through with your father. But I don't believe he truly gets why I did it."
"Did you ever think about sitting down and being honest with him . . . and having a conversation about your feelings?" Paula asked.
"Men don't understand feelings. They only believe in what they see."
"Not all men."
Her mother snickered. "I've never met one who was different. Sometimes I feel like their only purpose is to drive women crazy."
"Dad used to say the same thing about women."
Her mother cleared her throat. "I might have made a mistake when I left him."
Paula couldn't believe her ears. "Are you serious? I thought you hated Dad because he was involved with another woman. That's what you always told me."
"I didn't really hate him. His relationship with that tramp wouldn't have lasted long if we hadn't left. He would have eventually come back to us."
"I don't know about that." Paula hated discussing her parents with each of them. The couple of times she'd spoken with her dad over the past several years, he'd asked one question after another about her mother. "So where is Mack?"