by Nora Roberts
“Not really.” But she came back inside. “It doesn’t look like there’s a soul in the city tonight. Everyone’s snuggled in.”
He set the sweater aside. “I’m glad you’re snuggled in here.”
“Me too.” She gave him her lips in a light kiss. “I like it here.” They’d been seeing each other on and off for nearly a month, but this was the first time Roxanne had been to his apartment.
It was pure struggling student. Movie posters adorned the walls, the sagging couch was covered with a faded bedspread, the scarred wooden desk shoved into the corner was laden with books. His electronic equipment, however, was state-of-the-art.
“I guess these home-movie things are the wave of the future.”
“By the end of the decade, VCRs will be as common as television sets in the American home. Everyone will own video cameras.” He grinned and patted his own. “Amateur directors will spring up everywhere.” He touched her hair, a wild tangle of curls she’d recently cut to chin length. “Maybe you’ll let me make a movie of you sometime.”
“Of me?” The idea made her laugh. “I can’t imagine.”
He could. Taking her hand, he led her to the couch. “Bergman first, okay?”
“Fine.” She picked up her coffee and settled back into the crook of his arm. Gerald pushed some buttons on his remote. One to engage the VCR, the other to start the camera he had strategically placed between stacks of books.
Roxanne supposed she was plebeian, but Bergman didn’t grab her. Give me a car chase any day, she thought as she struggled to keep her mind on the slow-moving black-and-white art flickering on the screen.
She didn’t mind having Gerald’s arm around her. He smelled of peppermint mouthwash and mild, inexpensive cologne. She didn’t object to the light trail his fingers made up and down her arm. When he shifted to kiss her, she had no trouble tilting her head back and accepting the offer.
But when she tried to ease away, he tightened his hold.
“Gerald.” She gave a light laugh as she turned her head away. “You’re going to miss the movie.”
“I’ve seen it before.” His voice was thick and breathless as he ran kisses down the side of her throat.
“I haven’t.” She wasn’t worried, not really. A little annoyed perhaps that he was making such an obvious and fevered move, but not worried.
“Don’t you find it erotic? The imagery, the subtleties.”
“Not really.” Tedious was what she found it, just as tedious as she found the fact that he was pressing her back against the cushions of the couch. “But then I’m probably too literal-minded.” She blocked his mouth, but wasn’t quick enough to stop his fingers from fumbling with the buttons of her blouse. “Stop it, Gerald.” She didn’t want to hurt him, his feelings or otherwise. “This isn’t why I came here, and it isn’t what I want.”
“I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.” He managed to pry her legs apart and began to grind his erection against her. Roxanne felt the first licks of panic sneak through the annoyance. “I’m going to get you naked, baby, and make you a star.”
“No, you’re not.” She struggled in earnest when his hand closed over her breast and squeezed. Growing fear had her voice shaking. A mistake, she realized instantly as his breathing quickened with excitement. “Damn it, get off me.” She bucked like a bronco, heard her blouse rip.
“You like it rough, baby? That’s okay.” He grabbed at the zipper of her jeans with sweaty, impatient hands. “That’s good. Better visual. We’ll watch it after.”
“You son of a bitch.” She never knew whether it was timing or terror that had her elbow swinging over, knocking hard enough against his temple to make him rear back. She didn’t hesitate, but balled her hand into a fist and slammed it against his nose.
Blood fountained out, splattering her blouse, making him yelp like a kicked puppy. His hands flew up to his face, knocking his glasses askew. Roxanne scrambled up, grabbed her canvas bag and brought it against the side of his face in a vicious, two-handed swipe.
His glasses soared across the room. “Hey, hey.” Blood dripped through his fingers as he goggled up at her. “You broke my fucking nose.”
“You try that again with me, or anyone else I hear about, I’ll break your fucking dick.”
He started to rise, then sank back down again when she lifted both fists in a boxer’s stance.
“Come on,” she taunted. There were tears in her eyes now, but they weren’t from fear. It was pure rage. “You want to take me on, you bastard?”
He shook his head, grabbing a corner of the bedspread to stanch the flow of blood from his nose. “Just get out. Jesus, you’re crazy.”
“Yeah.” She felt the hysteria bubbling up. She wanted to hit him again, she realized. She wanted to beat and punch and pummel until he was as frightened and helpless as she had been moments before. “You remember that, creep, and stay away from me.” She slammed out, leaving him babbling about hospitals and lawsuits.
Roxanne was a block away and searching for a cab when it hit her. Make you a star? Watch it after? A scream of rage burst out as it sank in.
The son of a bitch must have been filming the whole thing.
It was like falling into a nightmare. Though the rain had slowed to a drizzle, it was a cold, miserable night. Nothing could have suited Luke’s mood more perfectly.
In his hand was a letter, a letter that had dragged him back over the jagged distance to the past. Cobb. The bastard had found him. Standing in the Nouvelle courtyard with the thin rain sneaking under the collar of his jacket, Luke wondered why he had ever allowed himself to believe in escapes.
No matter how clever he’d been, how successful, how strong, he could be jerked back into that small, frightened boy. It had only taken a few words on paper.
Callahan—long time no see. I’m looking forward to talking about old times. If you don’t want to lose your classy situation meet me tonight at ten at Bodine’s on Bourbon. Don’t try no disappearing act, or I’ll have to have a nice, long talk with your pals the Nouvelles. Al Cobb.
He’d wanted to ignore it. He’d wanted to laugh and tear the paper into tiny, insignificant pieces to show just how little it had meant to the man he’d become. But his hands had shaken. His stomach had twisted into slick, tiny knots. And he’d known, as he’d always known, that he couldn’t escape from where he’d come from. Or what he’d lived through.
Still, he wasn’t a child afraid to face the monster in the closet. He balled the paper into his pocket and stepped toward the street. He’d face Cobb tonight, and somehow find a way to vanish him and everything he stood for.
The rain dampened his jacket, his shoes and his mood. He hunched his shoulders, swore at nothing in particular and started toward the corner. When a cab veered toward the curb, he hesitated, debating about whether it would improve his frame of mind to take a dry ride rather than a wet walk.
He forgot both possibilities as he watched Roxanne alight. She was a handy target for his frustration.
“Back so soon?” he called out. “Didn’t your four-eyed friend keep you entertained?”
“Kiss ass, Callahan.” She kept her head down as she hurried by him, hoping to slip into the house unseen. But Luke was feeling just ugly enough to taunt her.
“Hey.” He snagged her arm and spun her again. “You got some—” He stopped dead when he saw the state of her clothes. Beneath her bright jacket, the boxy cotton blouse was torn and splattered with blood. Panic hammered through him as he grabbed both of her shoulders, fingers digging in. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing. Leave me alone.”
He gave her one hard shake. “What happened?” His voice seemed to be caught in his throat, squeezing out over razor blades. “Baby, what happened?”
“Nothing,” she said again. Why was she starting to shake now? she wondered. It was all over. Over and done. “Gerald had a different idea on what I was doing in his apartment than I had.” She tossed her chin
up, ready for a lecture. “I had to disabuse him of the notion.”
She heard Luke suck in his breath—not in shock. It was more like an animal snarling. When she glanced up at his face, her unsteady pulse went haywire. His eyes were like glass, the kind that leaves deep jagged gashes on flesh.
“I’ll kill him.” His fingers dug into her shoulders hard enough to make her yelp. He released her so quickly, Roxanne stumbled back. By the time she’d regained her balance, she had to run to catch him.
“Luke. Stop this.” She snatched at his sleeve. Though her heart dropped to her knees when he rounded on her, eyes glowing, teeth bare, she hung on. “Nothing happened. Nothing. I’m all right.”
“You’ve got blood all over you.”
“None of it’s mine.” She tried a smile, scraping her wet hair out of her face. “Come on, I appreciate the white knight routine, but I took care of it. You don’t even know where the jerk lives.”
He’d find him. Somehow Luke knew that he could track the bastard down like a wolf tracking a rabbit. But Roxanne’s hand was trembling on his arm.
“Did he hurt you?” It was an effort to keep his voice steady and calm, but he thought she needed it. “Tell me the truth, Rox. Did he rape you?”
“No.” She didn’t resist when Luke’s arms came around her. It wasn’t fear that was making her shake, she realized. It was a haunting sense of betrayal. She had known Gerald, she’d liked him, and he’d been prepared to force sex on her. “No, he didn’t rape me. I swear.”
“He ripped your shirt.”
This time her smile was a little steadier. “He said I broke his nose, but I think I just bloodied it.” She laughed and settled her head on Luke’s shoulder. It felt so good to be there, standing in the rain with him, feeling that hard, steady beat of his heart. Whenever things got really bad, she mused, Luke was there. There was a comfort in that. “You should have heard him squeal. Luke, I don’t want Max or Lily to know. Please.”
“Max has a right—”
“I know.” She lifted her head again. Rain trickled down her face like tears. “It’s nothing to do with rights. It would hurt him, and frighten him. And it’s over now, so what could he do?”
“I won’t say anything. If—”
“I knew there’d be an if.”
“If,” Luke repeated, tucking a finger under her chin, “you agree to let me talk to this creep. Satisfy myself that he’s going to stay away from you.”
“Believe me, I don’t have anything to worry about. He might even take out a warrant so I won’t be able to go within five hundred feet of him.”
“I talk to him, or I talk to Max.”
“Damn it.” She sighed, considered her options, then shrugged. “Okay, I’ll tell you where to find him, if—”
“Yeah, right. If?”
“You swear it’s just talk. I don’t want or need you to go beat someone’s face in for me anymore.” She smiled again and knew they both thought of Sam Wyatt. “I did that all by myself this time.”
“Just talk,” Luke said. Unless he decided more was necessary.
“Actually, you could do me a favor.” She eased away because this was a tough one. “I’m not positive, but I think . . . from something he said when he was, well . . .”
“What?”
“I think he had a camera on somewhere. Filming the event, you know?”
Luke opened his mouth, shut it again. Perhaps it was for the best that he was stunned speechless. “Excuse me?”
“He’s a film major,” she hurried on. “Really hung up on movies, and this video craze. That’s why I went to his apartment. To watch a couple of classic films. And he . . .” She blew out a breath that fogged in the air then washed away in the rain. “I’m pretty sure he had a camera on, so we could enjoy watching ourselves after.”
“That fucking perverted asshole.”
“Well, yeah, but I was wondering, if you insist on talking to him, if you could make him give you the film or the tape or whatever the hell it is.”
“I’ll get it. If you ever pull something like this again—”
“I pull?” She slapped her hands on her hips. “Look, peabrain, I was nearly raped. That makes me a victim, get it? I didn’t do anything to deserve that kind of treatment.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Hell with that. It’s just like a man.” She whirled away, paced two steps then spun back. “I must have been asking for it, right? I lured that poor, helpless man into my web then cried foul when things got heavy.”
“Shut up.” He pulled her against him and held tight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything like that. Christ, Roxanne, can’t you understand you scared me? I don’t know what I’d have done if he’d . . .” He pressed his mouth to her hair. “I don’t know what I’d have done.”
“All right.” Another tremor hit her, rippling down her spine. “It’s all right.”
“Okay.” He was murmuring, stroking, trying to comfort, even as his mouth sought hers. “No one’s going to hurt you again.” There was rain on her lips. He kissed it away, gently, sweetly, then went back for more. Her arms came up to wind strong and sure around his neck even as her body melted like wax against him. He gave himself a moment, one glorious moment to hold her, and pretend it could be real.
“Feeling better?” His smile was strained as he drew her away.
“I’m feeling something.” Her voice was like the fog that snaked along the ground at their feet. When she lifted a hand to his cheek, he grabbed it, pressed his lips to the center of her palm. She wondered the rain didn’t sizzle off as it struck her.
“Rox . . . we’d better—” He broke off as a man walked through the curtain of rain. Luke started to simply shift Roxanne aside, then he looked at Cobb’s face, at Cobb’s eyes, and felt his life turn upside down.
How foolish he’d been to forget even for a moment that he had his own demons to face that night.
But if he could do nothing else, he could prevent that ugliness from touching Roxanne.
“Go inside,” he ordered.
“But, Luke—”
“Go in. Now.” He pulled her toward the gate and the courtyard. “There’s something I have to do.”
“I’ll wait.”
“No, don’t.” When he turned, she had one glimpse of his eyes, and the torment in them.
Luke walked through the rain to confront an old nightmare.
“Been awhile, kid.” Al Cobb sat in the dingy Bourbon Street strip joint smoking a Camel. It was his kind of setting, the women with tired eyes bumping hips and twirling pasties, the smell of stale drunks and impersonal sex. He’d known Luke would follow him in.
Luke had draped one arm over the back of his chair. He was forcing himself to relax, using every ounce of will to prevent those nasty flashbacks from sneaking into his mind. “What do you want?”
“A drink, a little conversation.” Cobb let his eyes crawl over the cocktail waitress’s breasts and roam down to her crotch. “Bourbon, a double.”
“Black Jack,” Luke told her, knowing his usual beer wouldn’t have the fire to purge.
“A man’s drink.” Cobb grinned, showing tobacco-stained teeth. Years of hefting the bottle hadn’t been kind to him. Even in the dim light Luke could see the maze of broken capillaries in his face, those twisted red banners of the dedicated drunk. He’d put on too much weight around the middle so that his knit shirt stretched and strained over the girth.
“I asked you what you wanted.”
Cobb said nothing as their drinks were set down. He lifted his, took a deep swallow and watched the stage. An improbably built redhead was peeling away a French maid’s uniform. She was down to her G-string and a pair of feather dusters.
“Je-sus, look at the tits on that bitch.” Cobb downed his drink and signaled for another. He grinned over at Luke. “What’s the matter, boy, don’t you like looking at boobs?”
“What are you doing in New Orleans?”
“Having me a
little holiday.” Cobb licked his lips while the dancer bounced her abundant breasts and squeezed them together. “Figured since I was in the neighborhood, I’d look you up. Ain’t you going to ask about your mother?”
Luke sipped carefully at the whiskey, letting the heat slide down into his gut and thaw frozen muscles. “No.”
“That’s unnatural.” Cobb clucked his tongue. “She’s living in Portland now. We still get together from time to time. She started to charge for it, you know?” He gave Luke a lascivious wink, pleased when he saw the muscles in his jaw clench. “But old Maggie, she’s sentimental enough to give me a free pop when I come knocking. Want I should give her your best?”
“I don’t want you to give her anything from me.”
“You got a shitty attitude.” Cobb tossed back more bourbon while the music grew louder, more raucous. One of the men tried to climb onstage and was tossed out. “Always did. You’d stayed around a little longer, I’d have beaten some respect into you.”
Luke leaned forward, eyes glittering. “Or you’d have turned me into a whore.”
“You had a roof over your head, food in your belly.” Cobb shrugged and continued to drink. “I just expected you to pay for it.” It didn’t occur to him to be afraid of Luke. His memory was keen enough to recall how easily he’d cowed the boy with a few solid whacks of the belt. “But that’s behind us now, ain’t it? You’re a big fucking deal these days. Coulda knocked me over with a whiff of gin when I saw you on the TV.” He snorted into his bourbon. “Doing magic tricks for chrissake. Learned how to wave your magic wand, did you, Luke?” He roared with laughter at his own joke until tears sparkled in his eyes. “You and that old man got yourself a couple of prime pieces of ass out of it.”
The laughter died into choking when Luke grabbed him by the collar. Their faces were close now, close enough for Luke to smell the whiskey on Cobb’s breath over the barroom stink of liquor and smoke. “What do you want?” he repeated, spacing each word.
“You want to take me on, boy?” Always ready to brawl, he wrapped his meaty fingers around Luke’s wrists. He was surprised by the strength he found there, but never doubted his own superiority. “Want to go head-to-head with me?”