by Nora Roberts
“H E SHOULDNT HAVE DONE WHAT HE DID.” VOICE shaking, Jim sawed at the rope tying her ankles. “He did it just to show me he didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. About you, either.”
“No.” The tears that sprang to her eyes weren’t pity, but sheer relief. With her bound hands she reached forward to massage her legs. They were horribly cramped. “He didn’t care about either of us.”
“It made me crazy at first. Me and Pickles were up at the cabin when I heard, and I just went crazy. That’s why I killed the steer that way. I had to kill something. Then I started thinking. I had to get back at him, Will, make him pay. I wanted you to pay too, at first. You and Tess and Lily. I didn’t figure they had any right to what was mine. What he should’ve left to me. I thought I’d scare them off. Nobody’d get anything if I scared them off. I left the cat on the porch. I liked seeing Lily scream and cry over it. I’m sorry about that now, but I wasn’t thinking of her as kin then. I just wanted her to go away, back where she’d come from. And for Mercy to go to hell.”
“Can you cut my hands loose, Jim? Please, my arms are cramped.”
“I can’t. Not yet. You just don’t understand it all.”
“I think I do.” The feeling was back in her legs. They were stinging as the blood surged back, but she could run if she saw an opening. “He hurt you. You wanted to hurt him back.”
“I had to. What kind of man would I be if I took that from him? But the thing is, Will, I like killing things. I figure that’s from him too.” He smiled and a flash of lightning haloed him like a fallen saint. “Nothing much you can do about what comes down through the blood. He liked killing too. Remember that time he had you raise that calf, right from pulling it clear of its mother? You raised it up like a pet, even named it.”
“Blossom,” she murmured. “Stupid name for a cow.”
“You loved that dumb cow, won blue ribbons with it. I remember how he took you out that day. You were twelve, maybe thirteen, and he made you watch while he killed it for beef. Teaching you ranch life, he said, and you cried, and you went off and got sick. Ham damn near came to blows with the old man over it. You never had a pet since.”
He took out a cigarette, struck a match. “You had an old dog then, died about a year after all that. You never got another.”
“No, I never did.” She brought her knees to her chest, pressed her face to them as the memory washed over her.
“I’m just telling you so you’ll see, so you’ll understand what’s in the blood. He liked being the boss, making people dance to his tune. You like being the boss too. It’s in the blood.”
She could only shake her head, will herself not to break. “Stop it.”
“Here now.” He rose, got the canteen he’d filled at the stream, and brought it to her. “Drink a little. I didn’t mean to get you so worked up. I’m just trying to make you understand.” He stroked her hair, his baby sister’s pretty hair. “We’re in this together.”
C HARLIE SURGED FORWARD, CLAMORING OVER ROCKS. HE didn’t bark or howl, though his body vibrated often. Ben listened for the sounds of men, of horses, more dogs. If he was on track, then so was Adam. He could be sure of that. But he heard nothing but the night.
He found the second earring lying on rock where wildflowers struggled through cracks. He retrieved it, touched it to his lips before tucking it away. “Good girl,” he whispered. “Just hang on a little longer.”
He looked toward the sky. The clouds were sneaking toward the moon, and half the stars were gone. Rain, so long prayed for, was coming too soon.
S HE DRANK, WATCHED HIS EYES. THERE WAS AFFECTION IN them. Terrifying. “You could have killed me, months ago. Before anyone else.”
“I never wanted to hurt you. You’d gotten the shaft, just like me. I always figured that one day, we’d run Mercy. You and me. I didn’t even mind you being in charge. You’ve got a real knack for it. I do better when someone else points the way.”
He sat back again, took a drink himself, capped the canteen. He’d lost track of time. It was soothing, sitting here with her, under the wide sky, reminiscing.
“I didn’t plan on killing Pickles. Didn’t have a thing against him, really. Oh, he could be a pain in the butt with his complaining and argumentative ways, but he didn’t bother me any. He just happened along. I never figured he’d come rolling up there just then. Thought I had more time.
I’d just planned on doing another steer, leaving it out where one of the boys would come across it and get things heated up. Then I had to do it. And, Will, to tell the truth and shame the devil, I got a taste for it.”
“You butchered him.”
“Meat’s meat when it all comes down to it. Damn, I could go for a beer right now. Wouldn’t a beer go down smooth?” He sighed, took off his hat to fan his face. “Cooled off some, but goddamn, it’s close. Maybe we’re in for that rain we’ve been waiting for.”
She looked up at the sky, felt a jolt of alarm. They were going to lose the moon. If anyone was coming after her, they’d be coming blind as bats. She tested her legs again and thought they would do.
And he tapped the knife on the toe of her boot. “I don’t know why I scalped him. Just came to me. Kind of a trophy, I guess. Like hanging a rack on the wall of the den. I’ve got a whole box of trophies buried east of here. You know where those three cottonwood trees stand across from the far pasture?”
“Yeah, I know.” She fought to keep her eyes on his, and off the knife.
“I did all those calves that night. Seemed to me that would send those city girls running off, and that would be that. But they stuck. Had to admire that. Started me thinking a little, but I just couldn’t get past the mad of it.” He shook his head at his own stubbornness. “So when I picked up that kid, hitchhiking, I used her. I wanted to do a woman.”
He moistened his lips. Part of him knew it wasn’t proper to talk of it with his little sister, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’d never done a woman before. I had a yen to do Shelly, you know, Zack’s wife.”
“Oh, my God.”
“She’s a pretty thing, pretty hair. Couple times I went over to Three Rocks to play poker with the boys there, I studied on it. But I did that girl, and I left her there, right at the front door, just to show Jack Mercy who was boss. That was before the calves,” he said dreamily. “I remember now. That was before. They get all mixed up in my head, until Lily they do. It was Lily that changed things. She’s my sister. I got that into my head when J C treated her like that, hurt her like that. She might’ve died if I hadn’t taken care of her. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes.” She wouldn’t be sick, refused to be. “You didn’t hurt her.”
“I wouldn’t have harmed a hair on her head.” He caught the joke, slapped the rock, and howled. “A hair on her head. Get it? That’s a good one.” He sobered, the change abrupt and frightening. “I love her, Will. I love her and you and Tess just like a brother should. And I’ll look out for you. And you have to look out for me. Blood’s thicker than water.”
“How do you want me to look out for you, Jim?”
“We got to have a plan, get our stories together here. I figure I’ll take you back and we’ll tell everybody that somebody dragged you off. You didn’t see, but I went off after you. Didn’t have time to send out the alarm. We’ll say I chased him off, scared him off. I’ll fire a couple of shots.” He patted the rifle. “He ran off into high country, and I got you away safe. That’ll work, won’t it?”
“It could. I’ll tell them I never saw his face. He hit me. I’ve probably got a bruise anyway.”
“I’m sorry about that, but it works out real good. We’ll go back to the way things were, all right. Couple months more and the ranch is free and clear. I can be foreman now.” He saw her eyes flicker, her instinctive cringe. “You don’t mean it. You’re lying.”
“No, I’m just thinking it over.” Her heart began to thud at the rapid change of his moods. “We have to make sure it sounds right or el
se—”
“You’re lying!” He screamed it so that the rocks echoed. “You think I can’t see it? You think I’m too stupid to see what’s going on in your head? I take you back, you’ll tell them everything. You’ll turn me over, your own brother. Because of Ham.”
Wild with fury, he sprang to his feet, the knife in one hand, the rifle in the other. “It was an accident. There wasn’t anything I could do. But you’ll turn me over. You care more about that old man than your own family.”
He’d never let her go. And he’d kill her before she got two yards. So she pushed herself to her feet, teetered once until she could brace them apart, and faced him. “He was my family.”
He tossed the rifle down, grabbed her by the shirtfront with his free hand, and shook her. “I’m your blood. I’m the one who matters. I’m a Mercy, same as you.”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the knife wave. And the clouds smothered the moon and killed the glint. “You’ll have to kill me, Jim. And once you do, you won’t be able to run fast enough or hide deep enough. They’ll hunt you. If Ben or Adam finds you first, God help you.”
“Why won’t you listen?” His shout boomed over rock and hill and hung in the heavy air. “It’s Mercy that counts. I just want my share of Mercy.”
She closed her aching hands into fists, stared into his desperate eyes. “I haven’t got any mercy to give you.” Rearing back, she thrust her stiffened hands into his stomach and whirled to run.
He caught her by the hair, yanking back until stars erupted in front of her eyes. Sobbing in pain, she rammed back with her elbow, caught him hard. But his grip stayed firm. Her feet slid out from under her and she would have gone down but for the hold on her hair.
“I’ll make it quick,” he promised. “I know how.”
Ben stepped out of the shadows. “Drop the knife.” His pistol was cocked, aimed, ready. “You so much as break the skin on her, I’ll blow you to hell.”
“I’ll do more than break skin.” Jim angled the knife under her chin. His voice was dead calm again. He felt the control seep back into him, the command. He was in charge. The woman pressed against him was no longer his sister but just a shield. “All I do is jerk my wrist, and she’s dead before she hits the ground.”
“So are you.”
Jim’s eyes flickered over. His rifle was just out of reach. Cautious, he moved back a step, keeping the knife edge at Willa’s throat. “You give me five minutes’ start, and when I’m clear, I’ll let her go.”
“No, he won’t.” She hissed as the knife bit in and the first trickle of blood oozed down her throat. “He’ll kill me,” she said calmly, kept her eyes on Ben’s. “It’s just a matter of when.”
“Shut up, Will.” Jim flicked the knife under her chin. “Let the men handle this. You want her, McKinnon, you can have her. But you put down the gun, and you step back until we’re mounted. Otherwise, I do her here, and you watch her die. Those are your choices.”
Ben skimmed his gaze from Jim’s face to Willa’s. Lightning shot overhead like lances, illuminated the three of them standing on silvered rock.
He held the look until he saw her nod slowly in acknowledgment. And he hoped, in understanding.
“Are they?” He pulled the trigger. The bullet hit just where he’d aimed it, dead between the eyes. God bless her, he thought, as his hand finally shook. She didn’t flinch. Even when the knife clattered to the ground, she didn’t flinch.
She felt herself sway and rock now that no one was holding her up. She saw the sky reel just as rain started to fall. And she saw Ben rushing toward her.
“Good shot,” she managed, and to her mortification and relief, she fainted.
She came to in his arms, with her face wet and his mouth rushing over it. “Just lost my balance.”
“Yeah.” He was kneeling in the dirt, rocking her like a baby as rain flooded down on them. “I know.”
Her ears were ringing like church bells. Though she knew it was cowardly, she turned her face into his shoulder rather than turn it toward the body that must be sprawled beside them. “He said he was my brother. He did it because of Mercy, because of my father, because of—”
“I heard him clear enough.” He pressed his lips to her hair, then took off his hat and put it on her in a fruitless attempt to keep her dry. “Damn idiot woman, you were begging him to kill you. I lost three lives listening to you goading him while I was climbing up.”
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Fear she’d battled back opened wide and devoured her. “Ham?”
“I don’t know.” She was shaking now, and he gathered her closer. “I don’t know, darling. He was alive when I rode out.”
“Okay.” Then there was hope. “My hands. Oh, Jesus, Ben, my hands.”
He began to curse then, hard and fast, as he pulled out his knife and cut the rope away from the raw flesh. “Oh, baby.” It broke his heart and left him shattered. “Willa.”
He was still rocking her, kneeling in the pouring rain, when Adam found them.
THIRTY-ONE
“Y OU’RE GOING TO EAT WHEN I TELL YOU TO EAT, AND eat what I tell you to eat.” Bess stood over the bed and scowled.
“Can’t you leave me be for five damn minutes?” Huddled in the bed, as miserable as a scalded cat, Ham shoved at the tray she set over his lap.
“I do, and you’re climbing out of bed. Next time you do, I’m stripping you naked so you can’t get past the door.”
“I spent six weeks flat on my back in the hospital. And I’ve been out of that cursed hospital for over a week. I’m alive, for Christ’s sake.”
“Don’t you use the Lord’s name to me, Hamilton. The doctor said two full weeks of bed rest, with one hour, twice a day, of walking.” Her chin jutted, her head angled, and she looked down her pug nose at him. “Need I remind you you had a knife stuck in your thick hide and you bled all over my clean kitchen floor?”
“You remind me every time you walk in here.”
“Well, then.” She looked over in approval as Willa stepped in. “Good. You can try dealing with him. I’ve got work to do.”
“Giving her grief again, Ham?”
He glowered as Bess flounced out of the room. “The woman doesn’t stop fussing over me, I’m tying these sheets together and climbing out the window.”
“She needs to fuss just a little while longer. We all do.” She sat on the edge of the bed, gave him a thorough study. He had good color again, and some of the weight he’d lost in the hospital was coming back on. “You look pretty good, though.”
“I feel fine. No reason I couldn’t be up in the saddle.” His hands fumbled when she laid her head on his chest and cuddled. Awkward, he patted her hair. “Come on now, Will, I ain’t no teddy bear.”
“Grizzly bear’s more like it.” She grinned and kissed his whiskered cheek despite his embarrassed wriggles.
“Women, always after a man when he’s down.”
“It’s the only time you’re going to let me pet you.” She sat back, took his hand. “Has Tess been in?”
“She was in a while back. Came to say good-bye.” She’d been blubbering over him too, he remembered. Hugging and kissing. He’d nearly blubbered himself. “We’re going to miss seeing her strut around here in those fancy boots.”
“I’m going to miss her too. Nate’s already here to take her to the airport. I’ve got to go see her off.”
“You okay . . . with everything?”
“I’m living with everything. Thanks to you and Ben, I’m living.” She gave his hand a last squeeze before going to the door. “Ham.” She didn’t turn back, but spoke, staring out into the hallway. “Was he Jack Mercy’s son? Was he my brother?”
He could have said no, and just let it die. It would’ve been easier for her. Or it might have been. But she’d always been a tough one. “I don’t know, Will. The God’s truth is, I just don’t know.”
She nodded and told herself she would live with that, too. The never knowing.
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When she got outside, she saw Lily, already in tears and holding on to Tess for dear life.
“Hey, you’d think I was going to Africa to become a missionary.” Tess squeezed back her own tears. “It’s only California. I’ll be back for a visit in a few months.” She patted Lily’s growing belly. “I want to be here when Junior comes.”
“I’ll miss you so much.”
“I’ll write, I’ll call, hell, I’ll send faxes. You’ll hardly know I’ve left.” She closed her eyes and hugged Lily fiercely. “Oh, take care of yourself. Adam.” She reached out for his hands, then went into his arms. “I’ll see you soon. I’ll be calling you for advice in case I end up buying that horse.” He murmured something. “What did that mean?”
He kissed her cheeks. “My sister, in my heart.”
“I’ll call,” she managed to choke out, then turned and nearly bumped into Bess.
“Here.” Bess pushed a wicker basket into her hands. “It’s a ride to the airport, and with that appetite of yours, you’ll never make it.”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll lose this five pounds you put on me.”
“It doesn’t hurt you any. You give my best to your ma.”
“I will.”
With a sigh, Bess touched her cheek. “You come back soon, girl.”
“I will.” She turned blindly and stared at Willa. “Well,” she managed, “it’s been an adventure.”
“Sure has.” Thumbs tucked in her front pockets, Willa came the rest of the way down the stairs. “You can write about it.”
“Some of it.” She swallowed hard to steady her voice. “Try to stay out of trouble.”
Willa lifted a brow. “I could say the same to you, in the big, bad city.”
“It’s my city. I’ll, ah, drop you a postcard so you can see what the real world looks like.”
“You do that.”
“Well.” She turned. “Hell.” Shoved the basket at Nate and spun to walk into Willa’s open arms. “Damn it, I’ll really miss you.”