by Nora Roberts
She’d bargained with Ky, offering him a share of gold for his skill. In the beginning, she’d believed that she wanted the treasure, needed it to give her all the options she’d never had before. That choice. Now, she knew she didn’t want it at all. A hundred times more gold wouldn’t change what was between her and Ky—what drew them to each other, and what kept them apart.
She loved him. She understood that, in his way, he loved her. Did that change the differences between them? Did that make her able and willing to give up her own life to suit his, or able and willing to demand that he do the same?
Their worlds were no closer together now than they’d been four years ago. Their desires no more in tune. With the gold she’d leave for him, he’d be able to do what he wanted with his life. She needed no treasure for that.
If she stayed… Unable to stop herself, Kate reached out to touch his cheek. If she stayed she’d bury herself for him. Eventually, she’d despise herself for it, and he’d resent her. Better that they take what they’d had for a few weeks than cover it with years of disappoinments.
The treasure was important to him. He’d taken risks for it, worked for it. She’d give her father his memorial. Ky would have the rest.
Quietly, still watching him sleep, she dressed.
It didn’t take Kate long to gather what she’d come with. Taking her suitcase downstairs, she carefully packed what she’d taken with her from the Liberty. In a box, she placed the pottery bowl wrapped in layers of newspaper. The coins, the blackened silver and the shiny gold she zipped into a small pouch. With equal care, she packed the film she’d taken during their days under the ocean.
What she’d designated for the museum she’d already marked. Leaving the list on the table, she left the house.
She told herself it would be cleaner if she left no note, yet she found herself hesitating. How could she make him understand? After putting her suitcase in her car, she went back into the house. Quietly, she took the five gold coins upstairs and placed them on Ky’s dresser. With a last look at him as he slept, she went back out again.
She’d have a final moment with the sea. In the quiet air of morning, Kate walked over the dunes. She’d remember it this way—empty, endless and full of sound. Surf foamed against the sand, white on white. What was beneath the surface would always call her—the memories of peace, of excitement, of sharing both with Ky. Only a summer, she thought. Life was made of four seasons, not one.
Day was strengthening, and her time was up. Turning, she scanned the island until she saw the tip of the lighthouse. Some things lasted, she thought with a smile. She’d learned a great deal in a few short weeks. She was her own woman at last. She could make her own way. As a teacher, she told herself that knowledge was precious. But it made her ache with loneliness. She left the empty sea behind her.
Though she wanted to, Kate deliberately kept herself from looking at the house as she walked back to her car. She didn’t need to see it again to remember it. If things had been different… Kate reached for the door handle of her car. Her fingers were still inches from it when she was spun around.
“What the hell’re you doing?”
Facing Ky, she felt her resolve crumble, then rebuild. He was barely awake, and barely dressed. His eyes were heavy with sleep, his hair disheveled from it. All he wore was a pair of ragged cut-offs. She folded her hands in front of her and hoped her voice would be strong and clear.
“I had hoped to be gone before you woke.”
“Gone?” His eyes locked on hers. “Where?”
“I’m going back to Connecticut.”
“Oh?” He swore he wouldn’t lose his temper. Not this time. This time, it might be fatal for both of them. “Why?”
Her nerves skipped. The question had been quiet enough, but she knew that cold, flat expression in his eyes. The wrong move, and he’d leap. “You said it yourself yesterday, Ky, when we came up from the last dive. I’ve done what I came for.”
He opened his hand. Five coins shone in the morning sun. “What about this?”
“I left them for you.” She swallowed, no longer certain how long she could speak without showing she was breaking in two. “The treasure isn’t important to me. It’s yours.”
“Damn generous of you.” Turning over his hand, he dropped the coins into the sand. “That’s how much the gold means to me, professor.”
She stared at the gold on the ground in front of her. “I don’t understand you.”
“You wanted the treasure,” he tossed at her. “It never mattered to me.”
“But you said,” she began, then shook her head.
“When I first came to you, you took the job because of the treasure.”
“I took the job because of you. You wanted the gold, Kate.”
“It wasn’t the money.” Dragging a hand through her hair, she turned away. “It was never the money.”
“Maybe not. It was your father.”
She nodded because it was true, but it no longer hurt.
“I finished what he started, and I gave myself something.
I don’t want any more coins, Ky.”
“Why are you running away from me again?”
Slowly, she turned back. “We’re four years older than we were before, but we’re the same people.”
“So?”
“Ky, when I went away before, it was partially because of my father, because I felt I owed him my loyalty. But if I’d thought you’d wanted me. Me,” she repeated, placing her palm over her heart, “not what you wanted me to be. If I’d thought that, and if I’d thought you and I could make a future together, I wouldn’t have gone. I wouldn’t be leaving now.”
“What the hell gives you the right to decide what I want, what I feel?” He whirled away from her, too furious to remain close. “Maybe I made mistakes, maybe I just assumed too much four years ago. Damn it, I paid for it, Kate, every day from the time you left until you came back. I’ve done everything I could to be careful this time around, not to push, not to assume. Then I wake up and find you leaving without a word.”
“There aren’t any words, Ky. I’ve always given you too many of them, and you’ve never given me enough.”
“You’re better with words than I am.”
“All right, then I’ll use them. I love you.” She waited until he turned back to her. The restlessness was on him again. He was holding it off with sheer will. “I’ve always loved you, but I think I know my own limitations. Maybe I know yours too.”
“No, you think too much about limitations, Kate, and not enough about possibilities. I let you walk away from me before. It’s not going to be so easy this time.”
“I have to be my own person, Ky. I won’t live the rest of my life as I’ve lived it up to now.”
“Who the hell wants you to?” he exploded. “Who the hell wants you to be anything but what you are? It’s about time you stopped equating love with responsibility and started looking at the other side of it. It’s sharing, giving and taking and laughing. If I ask you to give part of yourself to me, I’m going to give part of myself right back.”
Unable to stop himself he took her arms in his hands, just holding, as if through the contact he could make his words sink in.
“I don’t want your constant devotion. I don’t want you to be obliged to me. I don’t want to go through life thinking that whatever you do, you do because you want to please me. Damn it, I don’t want that kind of responsibility.”
Without words, she stared at him. He’d never said anything to her so simply, so free of half meanings. Hope rose in her. Yet still, he was telling her only what he didn’t want. Once he gave her the flip side of that coin hope could vanish.
“Tell me what you do want.”
He had only one answer. “Come with me a minute.” Taking her hand, he drew her toward the shed. “When I started this, it was because I’d always promised myself I would. Before long, the reasons changed.” Turning the latch, he pulled the shed doors open.
For a moment, she saw nothing. Gradually, her eyes adjusted to the dimness and she stepped inside. The boat was nearly finished. The hull was sanded and sealed and painted, waiting for Ky to take it outside and attach the mast. It was lovely, clean and simple. Just looking at it, Kate could imagine the way it would flow with the wind. Free, light and clever.
“It’s beautiful, Ky. I always wondered…” She broke off as she read the name printed boldly on the stern.
Second Chance.
“That’s all I want from you,” Ky told her, pointing to the two words. “The boat’s yours. When I started it, I thought I was building it for me. But I built it for you, because I knew it was one dream you’d share with me. I only want what’s printed on it, Kate. For both of us.” Speechless, she watched him lean over the starboard side and open a small compartment. He drew out a tiny box.
“I had this cleaned. You wouldn’t take it from me before.” Opening the lid, he revealed the diamond he’d found, sparkling now in a simple gold setting. “It didn’t cost me anything and it wasn’t made especially for you. It’s just something I found among a bunch of rocks.”
When she started to speak, he held up a hand. “Hold on. You wanted words, I haven’t finished with them yet. I know you have to teach, I’m not asking you to give it up. I am asking that you give me one year here on the island. There’s a school here, not Yale, but people still have to be taught. A year, Kate. If it isn’t what you want after that, I’ll go back with you.”
Her brows drew together. “Back? To Connecticut? You’d live in Connecticut?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
A compromise…she thought, baffled. Was he offering to adjust his life for hers? “And if that isn’t right for you?”
“Then we’ll try someplace else, damn it. We’ll find some place in between. Maybe we’ll move half a dozen times in the next few years. What does it matter?”
What did it matter? she wondered as she studied him. He was offering her what she’d waited for all of her life. Love without chains.
“I want you to marry me.” He wondered if that simple statement shook her as much as it did him. “Tomorrow isn’t soon enough, but if you’ll give me the year, I can wait.”
She nearly smiled. He’d never wait. Once he had her promise of the year, he’d subtly and not so subtly work on her until she found herself at the altar. It was nearly tempting to make him go through the effort.
Limitations? Had she spoken of limitations? Love had none. “No,” she decided aloud. “You only get the year if I get the ring. And what goes with it.”
“Deal.” He took her hand quickly as though she might change her mind. “Once it’s on, you’re stuck, professor.” Pulling the ring from the box he slipped it onto her finger. Swearing lighty, he shook his head. “It’s too big.”
“It’s all right. I’ll keep my hand closed for the next fifty years or so.” With a laugh, she went into his arms.
All doubts vanished. They’d made it, she told herself.
South, north or anywhere in between.
“We’ll have it sized,” he murmured, nuzzling into her neck.
“Only if they can do it while it’s on my finger.” Kate closed her eyes. She’d just found everything. Did he know it? “Ky, about the Liberty, the rest of the treasure.”
He tilted her face up to kiss her. “We’ve already found it.”
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ISBN: 978-1-4592-1316-6
Treasures Lost, Treasures Found
Copyright © 1986 by Nora Roberts
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