Out of Control

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Out of Control Page 20

by Mary Connealy


  “Thirteen. Thirteen years. This has to be the tunnel Seth was running down when the floor cracked and he fell through.” Rafe looked to the other side of the pit. “Only we were coming from that direction. Seth had run ahead. Ethan and I were figuring he was planning to jump out and scare us. Then we heard him scream. A rumble of falling rocks. Another shout. Seth never asked for help. Never showed fear.

  “I took off and ran toward the voice, Ethan at my heels.”

  The tunnel took him back to the worst time of his life.

  Rafe running down the tunnel, Seth’s shouts getting louder. Bats, outlaws, ghosts, Satan—Rafe’s mind went wild as he ran toward his yelling little brother. Ethan was right beside Rafe with the lantern.

  Another loud crack, the sound of tumbling stones. A wild scream froze Rafe in his tracks. Ethan plowed into him. Rafe turned to Ethan and saw the horror in his brother’s eyes from that last terrible scream.

  Rafe almost ran away. It was an evil impulse. But he wanted out.

  Seth was being eaten by monsters.

  The cave was a monster coming for him next.

  They’d slid down into the mouth of a creature who would feast on their bones. To run, to leave Seth was weak and ugly, but for a moment Rafe almost did it. He almost abandoned his little brother to run for the sunlight.

  How many times had Pa told him he had to protect his little brothers? Then Pa would ride off for days, weeks. But instead of protecting them, he’d brought them down here, and now he wanted to run. Save himself. He fought to do the right thing, and it felt as if sleet coursed through his veins.

  Just a couple of steps behind Rafe, Ethan pointed at a black entrance to a side tunnel. “He’s down there.”

  Ethan rushed into the opening.

  “Be careful,” Seth yelled. “There’s a hole!” Seth was talking, warning them. He wasn’t being eaten alive. He wasn’t already dead. They ran toward him.

  Wherever their little brother was, he was keeping his head. After those few shouts of terror, he’d gained control of himself and shouted directions and caution.

  It was a good thing he did.

  Seth’s warning saved Ethan. With a short cry of fear, Ethan skidded to a stop right on the brink of a gaping hole in the cavern floor.

  “Seth!” Ethan dropped to his knees.

  Rafe went cold clear through but was glad of it because his mind seemed to work better with his gut turned to ice.

  “Back up.” Seth’s voice came from the darkness below where Ethan knelt. “The ground won’t hold.”

  Rafe knew there were holes in this place that seemed to be bottomless. How would they get Seth out of there?

  “Won’t hold what?” Ethan reached out his lantern. The light trembled as Rafe came up beside Ethan without looking at his face. He couldn’t stand to see how Ethan was. Of the three of them, Ethan was the one who didn’t like this place. He always came along and never acted scared. In fact, he delighted in pretending all his spooky ideas were for fun, but Rafe could tell Ethan really was spooked.

  Rafe leaned forward. Ethan lowered the lantern past the edge of the pit, and Rafe saw that he and Ethan were kneeling on stone as thin as an eggshell.

  The ground won’t hold.

  “Back up, Ethan,” Rafe ordered as he quickly scuttled backward. Then he shouted, “We’ll get you out, Seth.”

  Ethan started back just as the stone under his hand cracked and his whole arm fell through the floor.

  Ethan landed hard on his face and belly. An ugly crack sounded when his chest hit. Ethan yelled in fear and scooted away from the fracturing hole, flat on his stomach.

  “Hurry, Ethan!”

  Ethan shoved himself backward and the stone broke again and again, as if the collapsing ground followed him, wanted him. Was hungry for him. Then it all shattered and he plunged forward. Rafe grabbed him by the waist of his pants before he went into the abyss.

  The lantern fell and shattered. Flames shot up from below as the kerosene spread and ignited. Ethan dangled, head down.

  “Fire!” Seth screamed in pain. “Rafe, help me!”

  The ground quit breaking off. Terrified for Seth, Rafe yanked hard and heard Ethan’s pants rip.

  Seth’s screams grew louder. Flames shot up until Rafe thought he was staring right into the entrance to Hades.

  Ethan cleared the ledge with a backward lunge. Rafe flew back along with Ethan. A jagged piece of rock raked Rafe’s forehead. Stars exploded behind his eyes. Seth screamed again and Rafe threw himself forward.

  Flames coated the rocks below. Seth was lit up, leaping. “I’m burning. I’m on fire. Rafe! Ethan!” One arm and the whole back of Seth’s shirt blazed, splashed with kerosene.

  “Get your shirt off, Seth!” Rafe roared to be heard over the distance and the yelling and the crackling fire. “Get it off!”

  Seth caught the front of his shirt with both arms, one on fire, and jerked his shirt open, throwing it aside. Throwing the fire off himself. Seth slapped at his hair, still on fire, and shrieked with pain.

  “You’re all right. We’ll get you out.”

  “My arm is burned, Rafe!” The rocks were still flaming between Rafe and Seth. There was no way down or up. Rafe’s cool control slipped. He fought down his panic. How would they get Seth out of there?

  “Just be careful of the fire. We’re here. We’ll get you.”

  “My arm hurts. I don’t think I can use it to climb up, even if there is a way.” Seth’s voice cracked, and a muffled sob came from down in that awful, burning lake of fire.

  The fire on the kerosene-soaked rocks was dying. Which made Rafe think of something else. He gave one look at Ethan, who even in the darkness, looked pale as milk. Ethan was sitting, relaxed, leaning against the wall of the tunnel as if he didn’t have a single worry in the world.

  “Ethan, go get one of the torches.” A moment of dizziness almost stopped Rafe, but he fought it off.

  “What?” Ethan sounded unsteady, dazed, his eyes locked on the flames.

  Rafe lifted his hand and touched hot liquid coating his face. Blood. There was no time to attend to that. “Ethan!”

  Ethan barely managed to turn his eyes from the glowing depths. Ethan wasn’t close enough to the hole to see Seth. But he could see the light cast by the flames. Rafe knew, even if Ethan didn’t, that when those flames died, they’d be trapped in the pitch-darkness.

  He lunged toward Ethan and grabbed his arm hard enough to leave bruises. “I’m going for a torch.”

  “What?” Ethan lifted his head too slowly and looked Rafe in the eye, but he didn’t seem to understand.

  “We’re going to be down here in the dark in a couple of minutes. I’m going for a torch while the fire from down there can still give me a little light. Talk to Seth. Make sure he knows we haven’t left him.”

  Another of those muffled sobs sounded from below. Seth was the toughest guy Rafe knew and had been since Rafe’s earliest memories. He must be in agony to cry.

  The light diminished. Even now, Rafe would be fumbling along in the darkness for a long time walking back to the last torch they’d left.

  “Talk to him!”

  Ethan shuddered so hard he almost shook off Rafe’s hand.

  From fury and fear and a simple need to hurt somebody, Rafe clenched his fist and slammed it into Ethan’s face.

  “Hey!” The blow seemed to bring Ethan out of whatever shock he’d been in.

  Seth’s cries grew louder as the fire dimmed. “Talk to him. Talk to Seth. I’ll be right back.”

  “No, don’t leave us!” Ethan clawed at Rafe. That was when Rafe figured out his brother wasn’t thinking right at all. He probably had hit his head. And Rafe had just hit him again. Stupid, cruel thing to do.

  “I’ll be right back. Talk to Seth.” Taking a split second to wonder if the floor of this place had any more stretches made of rock that broke like glass, Rafe jumped to his feet.

  He ran away from the light and suddenly he was runni
ng wild. Running away.

  Rafe shook his head and was back with Julia.

  “Seth was so badly burned. For weeks we weren’t sure if he’d live. After he’d cheated death, he was never the same. The pain made him . . . made him crazy. He had terrible nightmares. Ma and Pa couldn’t stand it. Ma was always a quiet woman, but after the accident she spent most of the time crying and sitting in her chair. Pa couldn’t stand the nightmares and got so he didn’t come home much. Ethan got so he wouldn’t take anything seriously. He knew, more than anyone else, how close I came to abandoning him and Seth in that pit, and he’s never fully trusted me again. Never cared about me or anyone again.

  “If I’m tested like that again, I can’t promise to do the right thing.” He didn’t look her in the eye. He couldn’t. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were afraid to join your life to mine.”

  They knelt face-to-face on that tunnel floor, and he waited for her to stand up and walk away in disgust. Leave him. Any decent woman would.

  Her arms came around him and she gathered him in.

  He shouldn’t let her. He wasn’t up to the job of protecting her and her family. He should let her find a man who was strong enough, controlled enough to put her ahead of everyone else, for sure ahead of himself.

  Her arms tightened and Rafe couldn’t push her away.

  He set the lantern aside and dragged her into his arms.

  He smiled to think of coming at them from the deep heart of the cavern.

  Then he thought of where they must be standing, right on the brink of that hole in the floor. It was the one place he hated. The ledge was so narrow on the side of it and he’d have to cross it.

  He found one of the many torches his friend had made and struck a match. He’d reveal himself and see if they let him get close. If they did run, he’d shoot out their lanterns and they’d run into pure darkness.

  Fervently he hoped they wouldn’t recognize him as a danger until it was too late.

  He quickly set his torch aside and took off his holster, then tucked his gun into the small of his back. Laughing quietly, he reclaimed the torch, then made his way forward, wiping his palms on his tattered pants.

  Tired of the waiting.

  By the time Rafe quit kissing her, he was almost completely in control again—except for the part of himself that kept finding excuses to kiss Julia. At least he was distracted from all the twisting shame inside him.

  They held each other, kneeling together.

  “And . . . and you were here?” Julia asked. “You knew this exit to the cavern was here all along?”

  “No, we were on the other side.” Rafe’s eyes followed the hole to the far side just as a man holding a torch stepped into view.

  Julia screamed and tightened her hold. “That’s him! The man I saw duck into this cave the other day. And it’s got to be the man who stranded me down here.”

  The man tensed for a moment as if prepared to run, but he . . . didn’t.

  Instead he straightened and lifted his torch.

  Rafe stared, slowly rising to his feet, pulling Julia up with him. The man looked bone thin. He had a full beard and hair so shaggy, long and wild, a grizzly would have offered him a comb. The clothing hanging from his skeletal frame was in rags, the sleeves torn into strips. Holes showed his legs to the point of indecency. Rafe rubbed his eyes and looked again. And saw the same impossible thing.

  “We need to get him.” Julia yanked on Rafe’s arm. “We’ll take him to town and turn him over to the sheriff.”

  “We’re not going to have him arrested, sweetheart.”

  “Oh, yes we are.”

  “Oh, no we’re not.” Rafe couldn’t look away.

  “But he’s dangerous. I could have died.”

  “Not only aren’t we going to have him arrested,” Rafe said, looking down at her but only for a moment, afraid he was seeing a vision that would vanish if he looked away from the man, “we’re going to have to let him live with us.”

  “What?” Julia’s voice was so high-pitched, Rafe thought his eardrums might have sustained some damage.

  “Rafe?” The man’s voice sounded ragged, like he hadn’t used it in a long, long time. “Rafe, is that you?”

  Nodding, Rafe tried to reply, but his voice failed. He cleared his throat and found himself so close to tears that he was terrified he’d shame himself. Clenching a fist, he bore down on his feelings and breathed in and out slowly until his throat stood a chance of working.

  Finally he could answer. “Yeah, it’s me. It’s me—Rafe.”

  “What are you doing down here? You never come down here.”

  “Today I’m glad I came.”

  “Me too. Can you help me find my way home?”

  That question made Rafe realize he was dealing with a man with only a slim grasp on reality. “I’d be glad to help you find your way home.”

  Julia sank claws into Rafe’s forearm. “What are you saying?”

  “Thanks. I keep getting lost.” The man’s voice sounded hollow and forlorn as it echoed off the tunnel walls. “I’m so tired of being lost.”

  “Well, you’re not lost anymore. Welcome home, Seth.”

  Seth scampered along the edge of the pit as if he’d done it a thousand times. Rafe’s stomach twisted to think the floor would crumble, and he opened his mouth to order Seth to stop. But Seth was already across, and he threw himself into Rafe’s arms.

  Julia shrieked and stumbled and fell on her backside. Rafe needed to pick her up, but he couldn’t let go of Seth. Not when he had just taken hold of him after so many years.

  Seth smelled like a thousand gallons of stale sweat soaked in unwashed clothes that’d been stored in a dung heap. Rafe had a fight on his hands to force himself to hang on to his filthy little brother. Then he realized anew the miracle of Seth coming home and it wasn’t so hard at all.

  Rafe was holding on to skin and bones. Seth didn’t feel weak, though. He had a grip like an Apache warrior minus the tomahawk. Rafe immediately began making a mental list.

  He needed to fatten Seth up.

  Dunk him in the creek with a big bar of soap.

  Cut his hair and get him shaved.

  Get him some new clothes.

  Hopefully while Rafe was doing all that, Seth would calm down enough to make a little sense.

  Then Rafe thought of something else. “Ethan is outside the tunnel. Come out and say hello to him.”

  “Ethan? Ethan’s here?” Seth lifted his head. Rafe felt like he was face-to-face with a bear. Seth was so furry and such a mess, it was a wonder Rafe had recognized him. Seth swung his shaggy head to look at Julia, still on the ground. Rafe hadn’t gotten around to helping her up yet.

  Julia squeaked, and Rafe turned to see her sliding away, up the tunnel, on her backside. She was terrified of Seth, and who could blame her? Seth had to be the one who’d scared her so badly that day and left her stranded in the cavern.

  Rafe remembered Seth’s wild blue eyes. The color was hard to make out in the torch-lit cave, but the wild was there for sure. “Yeah, he’s back to stay. I’ve bought this . . .” Then Rafe realized about five things that changed his list considerably.

  To keep Seth around, Rafe was going to have to take him home to the Kincaid Ranch.

  And Seth needed Rafe there to take care of him.

  Which meant Rafe wasn’t going to be able to live in this caldron.

  Judging from the horror in Julia’s eyes, he wasn’t going to be able to claim her and hold her close day and night.

  Giving up living with Ethan had come hard, but Ethan was thinking clearly and he’d live nearby and could ride over and visit anytime. But Rafe saw clear as day that Seth needed help. He needed both of his brothers to take care of him, but especially Rafe. And it wouldn’t be the work of a few days to help him. It might well be the work of a lifetime.

  Which meant, considering Seth might well be dangerous, Rafe wasn’t going to be able to take on responsibility for anyone else u
ntil Seth got his senses back—which might never happen.

  He had to choose between his brother and Julia. And either choice broke his heart. This was exactly why a man wasn’t supposed to let his heart warm to anyone.

  Rafe decided to drag Seth out to see Ethan and see if daylight made his thoughts any clearer.

  As they walked out, Rafe realized it was pitch-dark the whole way. “When did you put the torches out, Seth?”

  Seth was busy scratching his belly and didn’t answer.

  CHAPTER

  16

  Ethan saw movement at the cave mouth, took one second to look and went for his gun.

  “Stop.” Rafe appeared behind a walking grizzly. With pants on. The grizzly not Rafe. Well, Rafe had pants on, too.

  “It’s Seth.” Rafe’s hand appeared in front of . . . Seth?

  His brother Seth?

  Ethan dropped his gun back in his holster, and with his eyes riveted on the bear that was eating his little brother, he approached until he could see the eyes. The reckless, wild blue eyes—just like Pa’s.

  “Seth?” Ethan hesitated because they weren’t a hugging family. Then he remembered how Rafe had grabbed him when he’d first come home and how good it felt. He launched himself at Seth, and Seth grabbed on just as tight. When the smell hit him, Ethan’s arms went slack.

  Then he met Rafe’s eyes over Seth’s shoulder and saw so much love and concern and determination that Ethan stayed hanging on. Finally he thumped Seth hard on the back and withdrew enough to look him in the eye. “Seth, it’s you. I’ve missed you, boy.”

  Seth smiled. Green teeth shone through that wild man beard and hair. The boy needed a bath, a shave, a haircut, and a whole lot of other stuff.

  “Ethan.” Seth’s eyes met his, then wavered and looked past Ethan to the canyon. “Where’s the house?”

  “We’re going to build one.” Ethan eased around so he stood looking at the valley with Seth. He slid an arm around shockingly bony shoulders. “Rafe is going to—”

 

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