by T. A. Foster
I pulled on the handle until the door had retracted, and I stepped onto the porch. I waited for him to turn around, but he stared straight ahead.
“Finn, hey.” I put my hand on his shoulder.
He reached across and gripped it with his fingers. I closed my eyes. I wondered if I had the strength for this.
“We need you.” The words fell from my lips.
He released my hand, and I desperately wanted to put it back in place, to feel something from him. He was quiet, too quiet.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Maybe I should shake him.
“They’re gone. Almost all of them,” he barely whispered.
I crouched on the floor in front of him. He had to look at me. He had to remember. “Finn, we can stop it.”
I grabbed his face between my palms. I wanted to see his eyes more than anything in my life. They were the eyes that made me smile, made my heart melt, made my stomach do somersaults; they were the eyes that convinced me I was the most beautiful, talented witch on the planet. I needed to look in those eyes.
His long eyelashes lifted and his gaze met mine. It took in all the flecks of blue and the shadows swirling in his pupils. My chest hurt and my breath caught in the back of my throat. I had never seen him look lost. And that’s what he was—lost.
“Oh my God, you can’t let them do this to you. I know who it is. I know who is behind breaking your spells.” My palms slid to his chest. I pressed over his heart. “You’re hurting, but we can stop it. You and me. We can stop them from taking over.”
His hand rested on top of mine. “You need to go.” His voice was smooth, but the words felt flat.
“You really have lost it if you think I’m leaving you like this,” I stated.
He pushed my hands off his chest. “You can’t help. There’s nothing we can do. Go, Ivy. Get out of here, before something happens to you.”
I glared at him. “Don’t you realize that something is already happening? I’ve had nightmares about you. I thought you were going to die.”
The rain poured around us, and I thought I heard the rumblings of thunder in the distance.
“Well, I’m not dead yet. If you don’t leave on your own, I will stun you,” he threatened.
“What? You’ll stun me? Are you serious?”
Before he spoke, he rose from the chair. I stood to match his threat. There was no way I was going to let him wallow in his self-pity and knock me out in the process.
He looked at my neck, and his hand played with a strand of hair. He twirled it on his finger and laid it on the other side of my shoulder.
“Can’t you see I’m broken? I can’t help you.”
I wasn’t going to let him slip back into that chair of darkness and depression. I reached on my toes, wrapped my hands around his neck, and kissed him. It wasn’t the kiss I thought we’d have after nine months of being apart. It wasn’t full of sparks, passion, and the electricity that usually surged from my body to his. My lips moved over his, and I pulled harder on his neck, urging him to give in, to feel something, anything. Just when I thought all traces of the Finn I had fallen in love with were gone, I felt his hand circle my waist, followed by the other one.
I breathed into his mouth. My heart slightly lifted that he was still here no matter how far he had slipped into darkness. His mouth came to life, and he slipped his tongue against mine. I groaned. The closer we were, the more I felt his sadness. The takeoff that surged through my heart lowered. I was overwhelmed with total despair.
“Finn, what’s happening?” I searched his eyes for an answer. Contact with him had never felt like this before. I was taking on every emotion he had.
“I told you, babe. I’m broken.”
“No, you’re not. I don’t believe that. Why can I feel your pain?”
He hung his head. “It’s the spell breaking. It attacks me every time I lose one. I should be able to keep it from you, but I can’t. I’ve lost it. It’s too much.”
I shook him, desperate for him to fight rather than sink into the pain. “You need to remember who you are. You’re a Guardian. It’s your job to protect people. Do this spell with me, and we can protect everyone. We’ll make the nightmares stop. We can save everyone under your protection again.”
He shook his head. “Don’t you know how much I want to give in to you? How hard it is to tell you no? I can’t. It’s not safe for you.”
He wasn’t making any sense. Grief had robbed him of his logic. “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”
“If you and I are together, they’ll take you. You’ll die. You have to go now. If something happens to you because of me, I’ll die. Go!” It was the loudest I had heard his voice.
I didn’t like how it sounded when someone forecasted my death, but it seemed to be the rage lately. “Who are they? Do they happen to wear black hoods?”
“Ivy, don’t try to solve this. It’s serious.” He turned his back to me and I jumped in front of him.
“But don’t you see? Those same ones told me you would die. They’re the Sognare Ladri. They are screwing with us. They don’t want us to be together for a reason. They give me nightmares about you, and give you nightmares about me. See?”
Finn chewed on his bottom lip. “Sognare Ladri?”
I nodded. “Yes, I can fill you in on everything Ian hasn’t mentioned already. Please say you’ll do the spell with me.” I laced my fingers through his hands. The sudden contact shot tingles along my arms along with newfound sadness. Everything he was feeling raced through me.
“What kind of spell is it?” I watched as he studied my neck again.
“Well, it’s a Fire Spell. I hadn’t heard of it until today. The only witches who can perform it are a Laurel and a Guardian.” I smiled. “See? We have those two things marked off the list already. We’re halfway there.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “I doubt it’s that easy.”
“Then there’s something about cutting each other’s palms, tears, and poof, we kill all the Ladri, rid the world of darkness, and restore staying power to all of our spells.”
“Cutting? We have to cut our palms?” He looked skeptical.
I cringed. That would have made the spell too easy. “No, we have to cut each other. And then we have to cry tears into each other’s hands.” It sounded absurd, ludicrous, and disgusting.
Finn shook his head. “Where did you hear about the spell? How do you know it will work?”
Why couldn’t we just go back to the kissing? “There’s a whole other part to this. Maybe we could talk in the car on the way to Charleston. I’ll tell you everything.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m not agreeing to do anything that will hurt you, especially if I don’t have all of the facts. Spill it.”
There was something familiar about his tone. Bits of detective Finn were resurfacing. For the first time since I found him, I had hope.
“I think I know who your grandfather is.” I blurted it out.
“Excuse me? You know about Leo? I’m guessing he’s the one.”
“You already know?” I questioned.
He turned toward the rain that had made puddles along the sidewalk. There was a garden in the backyard, but it was bare this time of year.
“You know I can’t talk about my quest, but yes, I’ve uncovered some things about my birth family.”
“Then do you also know he and my grandmother were an item?” I asked.
Finn looked confused. “What? No. How is that possible?”
I sat on the ottoman next to the chair where I had found Finn. “They met in Charleston at a New Year’s Eve party in 1949. My grandmother introduced him to the witch council she was working for to extinguish the Ladri. They fell in love, but he—”
Finn cut me off. “He left for his quest. I know that part of the story. I didn’t know the girl he left behind was your grandmother.” He sat next to me.
It was a lot to take in when I was alone, but sitting h
ere together, knowing that somehow our lives had been linked well before we were born, was overpowering. I suddenly felt like a pawn in the universe’s game, that nothing I did or decided was my own anymore. What if Finn didn’t really love me and we were only drawn to each other because, as a Laurel and a Guardian, we were destined for a greater purpose? What if all of the intoxicating, earth-shattering feelings I had for him were the result of magical destiny?
My breathing quickened, and I placed my hands on either side of the ottoman to gain balance. Was my entire life a game?
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Finn turned toward me.
“I— We— Were we ever real? Was this just some part of the magical continuum that I can’t escape?” I looked into his piercing eyes, the ones that had pierced my heart the first night we met. I wanted it to be real.
I had questions, lots more questions, but Finn interrupted the spiral I was making. “Hey, everything about us is real.” He tucked my hair behind my ear, and I thought about Leo making that same gesture. We were the next generation of Laurels and Guardians on repeat. “When you kissed me just now, for the first time, I felt some of the darkness lift. That doesn’t happen to pawns. That happens to us because, from the minute we met, we had a purpose.”
“Purpose, quests, when does it end? Why can’t we be normal?” I fumed. I was tired of it. My heart was exhausted.
“I don’t know, but I’ve always believed we were together for a reason. Don’t let what’s happening now make you question us. My feelings for you are as real as this.” He leaned toward me, his lips brushing over mine. I inhaled and let him kiss me like he had a thousand times before, only this time I knew we had accepted our destiny.
Ian was rocking on the porch swing when I opened the front door. “I guess you didn’t fly off?” I joked.
“No, but it is after midnight, so maybe Charleston tonight isn’t the best idea.” He pointed to his watch. “We could drive in the morning.” He sounded so much like our father right now that I almost laughed.
Finn stood behind me with his hand on my shoulder.
“You have a very convincing sister, you know that?”
Ian grinned. “Yeah, she has her moments. You’re in for the spell?”
Finn nodded. I don’t think he felt any better about it, but he had finally agreed. We couldn’t help the people who had already died under his Protection Spell, but we could stop the rest of the spells from breaking down. We also could regain control of our dreams. I was livid when I found out the Ladri were giving Finn the same nightmare they sent me. Who did those evil assholes think they were?
“I’m glad you’re up to it, man. I was worried about you.” Ian smiled at Finn. Those two had always been close.
“Ian, have you heard from Holly? Do we have a date for the full moon?” I asked, hoping he had some details. We needed time to prepare for the spell. I wouldn’t mind doing a little more research.
“Yeah, we have two days. It’s this Friday.”
“Holy shit.” Finn whistled over my ear. He was more like himself every second. That was a good thing.
Ian walked across the porch. “Man, can we stay here tonight? I think we could all use some sleep, and then we’ll head to Charleston in the morning.”
“Of course.” He opened the door for Ian, and my brother walked through the door.
I turned to Finn. “Whose house is this?”
Finn smiled. “It was Leo’s.”
IAN HEADED for the couch in the living room. “I’m going to turn in here. That ok?” he asked Finn.
I wasn’t sure if he owned the house or was only visiting. It didn’t look like anyone lived here. Most of the rooms only had one or two pieces of furniture. There were no pictures on the walls. I wondered how long ago Leo lived here. I had more questions than answers.
“Yeah, man. Sounds like a plan. See you in the morning.” He reached for my hand and led me down the hall.
“Good night, Ian,” I called.
“Work on that spell,” he shouted as we rounded the corner, “or whatever.”
“Got it.” I squeezed Finn’s palm against mine. With his hand in my embrace, I felt like I was with the part of me that had been missing for months. He was here, standing next to me.
He led me up the flight of stairs to the second story and along a hallway. We were on the same side of the house facing the garden. The rain hadn’t let up. I could hear it pelting the roof.
With only two days until the full moon, I was more anxious. I had no idea how we would perform the spell. I only had bits and pieces of how it worked. Gigi never mentioned the incantation. If it were anything like the Cover Spell we had produced in New Orleans, it would take extreme focus, certainty, and connection. We would need to be completely connected. The way Leo and Lily were together, there was no doubt they were in sync with each other’s moves, each other’s thoughts, each other’s feelings. He could just look at her, and she knew what he was thinking. Were Finn and I already in that place together?
I sighed.
“What’s wrong, babe?” He turned to face me. We were outside of a closed door. I knew what was on the other side of the door—a bed. His bed, a bed he would want to take me to and reconnect with me all night. The way we always did—skin against skin, losing ourselves in each other.
He pushed open the door and led me inside. There it was. The tears welled and trickled onto my cheeks before I could gain control. I wasn’t the one who was supposed to cry. He was the one losing people under his protection. But, the guilt surfaced and spilled over.
“Ivy, what’s going on?” He sounded worried.
I sniffed and wiped a tear with the heel of my hand. “I can’t do this tonight.”
He tilted his head to the side. “I need you.” He ran his fingers along my neck, brushed my hair back, and grazed the skin with his lips. “I have to get back to me, and I can’t do that without you. You make me whole.”
I felt the electric tingles he always gave me surge under my skin.
I pushed against his chest. He hadn’t let up on his workout routine since he had been gone. I felt the hardness of his torso through the shirt he was wearing. “No, we need to work on the spell first. We only have two days.” That didn’t seem like much time to save the world.
He pulled me toward him. “I have missed you.” He nipped at my bottom lip. “And I missed your lips.” I moaned as he kissed along my throat. His hand tangled in my hair as he brought my mouth to meet his. His kisses were intoxicating and dizzying. I didn’t know which way the bed was or the door. All I could do was feel everything Finn was doing. The rawness of his sadness and hunger for me invaded my body.
“But…aah.” His fingers unbuttoned the front of my shirt, and he shoved it to the side, exposing the pink lace on my bra. He kissed my shoulder. “There are people counting on us.” My voice was raspy, and I knew he had already melted my resistance.
He tugged his T-shirt over his head and wrapped his arms around me. I felt the clasp on my bra loosen and the straps slide along my arms. Standing, pressed against him, skin to skin like this made my pulse race. How did we keep getting torn apart? We were best together, just like this.
I heard the sound of my zipper, and then his as he worked us both out of our jeans. I stood while he peeled them over my legs and off my ankles. I was burning and aching to be with him again, but I was terrified.
I had been strong before when he left on the quest. It was my choice to break things off with him even though he had asked me to wait for him. I was also the one who broke it off the first time after he took my ring. I was angry he made me choose the impossible choices to protect myself. What if it happened again? I wasn’t sure I was equipped to handle my heart being shredded with another Finn goodbye.
While I was rehashing the safety of my heart, he reached behind me and picked me up, taking me toward the bed. His eyes were mischievous. Whatever dark place he had gone too when I found him, he had left. All I could see was the old Finn, r
eady to devour me, ready to make me glow. I just didn’t know if I could surrender myself to him again.
He blazed kisses along my stomach and against the inner softness of my thigh. I arched toward him, unable to control my body’s response to him.
“The spell— We have to work on the—”
His mouth descended on mine. I tried to wiggle out from under him. He stopped and propped himself on his elbow. “Do you really want me to stop?” He made a circle on my stomach with his finger. The circle widened as he toyed with my matching pink panties. If his finger dipped any lower, I wouldn’t be able to turn back. He had the most amazing magic fingers.
My body screamed no, but my head said this was not the best idea. Falling back in bed was our go-to. We had to be able to connect in another way. I needed to know we could. I needed to know we weren’t drawn to each other like predestined Laurel-Guardian magnets. Then, there was that little thing about kissing Jack. There was no way Finn would be ok if he found out—break or no break. He was always territorial where I was concerned.
“Finn, I’m just worried that we always do this. The entire world is depending on us. Is sex really the answer?” My eyes trailed the lines of his sculpted body. Sex or not, I could spend the rest of the night staring at him just like this.
“I just want you to know how much I missed you.” He kissed my forehead. “But, I guess after we save the world, there will be time for all of this.” His fingertip started at my breasts and drew a line between my legs. It took everything in me to keep from bowing off the bed just from that. He knew exactly how hard he was making this for me. He knew everything about me, and lying here with him, I had never felt more vulnerable or turned on. I missed him too. It was impossible to ignore the magic that lingered between us; it was palpable.
“I missed you too. I’ve been worried about you.” I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. There was no way I could stay naked with him and not give in. I needed something between us.