“Where are you going to be?” Mama Dee demanded.
“Maggie will be home soon. She shouldn’t be alone tonight,” Brigit said quietly. Mama Dee suddenly looked sad. Tears welled up in her black eyes, yet, they refused to fall. “I’ll be in as soon as I can.”
“You keep an eye on your girl,” Mama Dee instructed once again as she stood. “You let her know that I loved her like a daughter.”
“We both know that, Mama,” Brigit assured her friend.
Brigit received an agreeable nod from John before the three of them exited the apartment.
She sighed heavily with the thought of Maggie’s return. This was going to be too much for Maggie; but Brigit was determined not to let it be the straw to break the camel’s back…
30: Maggie
The next few days were spent in quiet observation. Maggie had taken Mama Dee’s passing hard. Brigit had guessed that she would. It had been a hard year for Maggie. First, she had lost her lover of ten years minus one day, and then, she had lost her dearest friend. To top it all off, Maggie was left to deal with the aftermath of it all seemingly on her own.
The memorial service was held the next Saturday. The church Maggie had reserved for the occasion was huge, but she soon found that it had not been big enough. The number of lives Mama Dee had touched over the years had been unimaginable. Not only were the current residents of the women’s shelter present, but past residents were in attendance as well. They all spoke through tears of gratitude for the various acts of love Mama Dee had shown them. Beyond that, Mama Dee’s peers and colleagues were present to pay homage to the small woman for the giant example they all desperately wanted to follow. Then there was the spectacle of the gay community to add to it all. The drag queens were present, decked out in their finest attire to honor the little old black lady that had treated them as though they were one of her own – never judging, never harsh. She had loved them all no matter what, and now, they all mingled together in the biggest show of love for one small woman.
Brigit had turned to Mama Dee where they stood at the back of the hall and found the little old woman wiping her eyes. The tears weren’t really falling, but Brigit knew it would be some time before Mama Dee no longer felt the same physical sensations she had felt as a mortal.
“I guess I best get back to work,” Mama Dee sniffed when then pastor of the church had finally ended the last prayer and thanked everyone for coming.
“How’s that going for you?” Brigit asked quietly. Mama Dee had jumped at John’s proposal once she heard there were children involved. Even in death, Mama had been quick to recognize that her love for them could still be shared.
“I’m getting there,” Mama assured her. “I met Mary yesterday. She’s a wonderful one. I really enjoyed talking with her.”
Brigit nodded and smiled. Had Mama Dee told her of the meeting when Brigit had first started, she would have been shocked that a conversation could have taken place between the two women given Mary’s use of an ancient language. Now, however, Brigit found herself accepting the statement without further thought. Mama Dee had always had an open mind. She would be able to grasp the spirit world’s nuances a lot quicker than Brigit had.
“How’s our girl getting on?” Mama Dee asked as they turned and followed the crowd from the church.
“Her sadness is overwhelming right now. She hasn’t been sleeping well, either,” Brigit related. Mama Dee shook her head and sighed heavily.
“The poor baby probably thinks she’s all alone in this world now,” she said. “You go on home and take care of her. I’ll let John know it’ll be a couple more days.”
“Thank you, Mama,” Brigit said before watching her friend turn and walk away from the church. Brigit continued to watch until she felt Maggie behind her.
Slowly, Brigit turned and found Maggie arm and arm with Tom Bennett. Brigit felt herself begin to smile at the sight of their long time friend at Maggie’s side. Tom had always been a good friend, sharing in the many good and happy times the two women had. She was glad to see him present today, just as he had been present at her own funeral. His usually happy demeanor was somber at the moment, but his presence was providing a slight measure of comfort to Maggie as far as Brigit could tell.
“I’ll walk you home. The book store can stay closed for a few more hours for all I care,” Tom said as Brigit fell in beside them. She noted that Maggie made no protest as they began to walk back to their apartment. Usually, Maggie would have insisted that Tom not delay in maintaining the everyday business of the small book store he owned downtown.
“I just can’t believe it all,” Maggie sighed. “First, Brigit – now Mama Dee. Who’s next?”
“You shouldn’t think like that, Maggie,” Tom chided his companion as they strolled along.
“He’s right,” Brigit agreed out loud.
“Everything happens for a reason, darling. You know that,” Tom continued. “Who are we to question the universe?”
“You’ve been hanging out with Sola DuLach again, haven’t you?” Maggie laughingly accused. Brigit felt herself smile at the jab and the fact that Maggie was laughing – if only half-heartedly. Sola DuLach was Tom’s best friend, a strange woman in her and Maggie’s opinions. Tom often rose to the defense of Sola’s oddity, but now, he only shrugged.
“Sometimes, Sola can make sense,” he offered. “She sends her condolences, by the way.”
“I appreciate them,” Maggie replied softly.
“Would you like me to bring Shazam! over? He would be wonderful company, you know. He absolutely adores you and would certainly keep you distracted,” Tom offered. Maggie only shook her head in decline. Shazam! was Tom’s five year old Welsh Corgi, a small dog with big ears and an even bigger penchant for cheese and crackers – Brigit’s favorite snack.
“I don’t think Shazam! liked me as much as he liked Brigit. She fed him cheese and crackers every day during that week he stayed with us while you were in Paris,” Maggie reflected, allowing a bittersweet smile to alight on her face. “That made them permanent friends.”
“It made him poop orange for a week is what it did,” Tom argued with a laugh. “She could have given him anything besides cheddar! Poor thing,” he continued laughing as he shook his head.
It was then that Brigit noticed that Tom’s crew cut was fresh. The white line across the nape of his neck peeked up from under his collar like a flash of white light on a darkened day. Upon closer inspection, she noted that his cheeks were overly smooth and his moustache was neatly trimmed. Tom Bennett knew all too well the distaste Mama Dee had possessed over a handsome man failing to maintain his appearance. As a final respect to be paid, Tom Bennett had taken his time in looking respectable today. Brigit wondered briefly if Mama Dee had seen this and appreciated it.
“Well, here you are,” Tom announced as they stopped in front of the building where Maggie now resided alone. “If you change your mind about Shazam!, just give me a call. Most likely he’ll be with me at the book store,” Tom said as he wrapped his arms around Maggie and gave her a strong hug. Maggie only nodded against his broad chest.
“Thank you, Tom,” she managed to gasp.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promised as he finally released her and stood back. Maggie only nodded again. Brigit silently watched on. She was grateful for Tom – no matter how odd his friends were.
She stood with Maggie as they watched Tom Bennett walk away. Once he was out of sight, Brigit turned her dark eyes back to Maggie. Maggie looked so tired, Brigit thought. She wondered how her partner would ever recover her sense of happiness and continue living after this. It seemed that Maggie’s inner light had been growing fainter over the last few days. Brigit couldn’t help but acknowledge the deep concern growing inside her as she watched helplessly.
Once they were inside the apartment, Brigit watched as Maggie stopped in the living room and took a long slow look around. So many memories surrounded her. Was this part of the problem? Maggie sighe
d heavily and turned to go to the bedroom. Brigit followed silently, wishing there was something she could do or say so that Maggie knew…
Maggie stopped at the bathroom and opened the medicine chest over the sink. Brigit leaned against the door frame and watched her partner take down the brown prescription bottle. They were Brigit’s sleeping pills, prescribed during the spring before her accident. She had suffered a serious bout of insomnia with the worry over a large product line her company had been trying to launch before the new buying season was to begin. The stress of the deadlines had been keeping Brigit awake for days on end, causing extreme exhaustion. Maggie had not thrown out the prescription that Brigit had forgotten about after the insomnia had finally been conquered. Brigit watched as Maggie shook two of the pills from the container and then paused. The thought passed quickly through her dark brown eyes, but not so quick that Brigit had been unable to see it. Her heart lurched as she read it clearly. Maggie’s sadness was so overwhelming that she had given thought to taking enough of the sleeping pills to make sure she would sleep forever…
“No, just take two,” she said. “Two is enough.”
Maggie sighed again and plopped the two pills into her mouth before replacing the cap on the bottle and returning it to the medicine chest. Brigit sighed in relief before following Maggie to the bedroom. She watched as her partner stretched out on the bed. Silently, Maggie reached for the picture on the table. Brigit thought she heard the sound of another crack forming in Maggie’s heart as she gazed at the photo in the frame.
“You’re not alone, sweetheart,” Brigit said quietly, even though she knew Maggie couldn’t hear her.
“Brigit?”
The sound of Maggie’s voice shocked Brigit.
“Brigit? If it’s you, let me know, please,” Maggie asked out loud, closing her eyes although she spoke. “Move something, say something. Just let me know you’re here,” she pleaded.
Silently, Brigit crossed the room and stood beside the bed. Maggie’s body was relaxing. The sleeping pills were working quickly. Slowly, Brigit reached out and touched her partner’s cheek. It was warm beneath her fingertips. Suddenly, a sob escaped Maggie, but Brigit was unsure whether it was from relief or deep sadness.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Brigit cooed.
“Why did you have to leave me?” Maggie sobbed heavily.
“I didn’t mean to, Mags. It was an accident. Can you really hear me?”
“Yes,” Maggie answered, struggling to control her grief.
Brigit sank down onto the edge of the bed and watched Maggie intently. She was relaxing more and more despite her grief’s violent ripples. The sleeping pills were obviously still potent after all this time. Maggie would be asleep soon. Brigit realized that this was her opportunity to communicate with her lover. She was in the between realms of sleep and lucidity. Maggie’s mind was opened. She would be able to hear Brigit clearly with being caught between the two realms. Suddenly, there was so much that Brigit wanted to tell her.
“I’m still with you, baby girl,” Brigit finally said, pushing Maggie’s curly brown hair back from her face. “I haven’t broken my promise. I’m not really gone.”
“I miss you, so much, Bree,” Maggie sighed. “Sometimes, I believe I can still feel you holding me at night. It hurts so badly to wake up in the morning. I just want to be with you.”
“Not yet, Mags. It’s not time. You’re still alive. You need to keep living, sweetheart. There’s a life waiting for you. You need to find it,” Brigit urged quietly.
“I had a life with you,” Maggie argued.
“I know. I’m still with you. I’ll always be with you. I won’t let anything happen to you,” Brigit promised. She could feel Maggie’s energy beginning to wane. She could also feel Maggie beginning to struggle against the sleep that was beginning to overpower her.
“I love you, Bree,” Maggie slurred.
“I love you, too, baby. Go to sleep now. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere yet. I’ll stay,” Brigit cooed. As if to reinforce her promise, she stretched out behind Maggie and wrapped her arms around her. In response, Maggie scooted her body closer – intent on feeling Brigit completely wrapped around her.
“Tomorrow, I want you to throw the pills away,” Brigit whispered as she felt the last weight of sleep settle on Maggie. A sleepy and unintelligible reply was heard before the first deep breath came that signaled Maggie’s submission to that which had been eluding her for days now. She was asleep.
31: The Ire of Mr. Flannery
He flicked the stub of his cigarette to the street and reached inside his jacket for the crumpled pack he kept in the breast pocket. His green eyes were trained on the building across the street. He had seen them enter it earlier. He wasn’t concerned about their re-emergence from it, however. Considering the fact that they hadn’t come out yet, Seamus was sure beyond doubt that this was their residence. He felt his stomach beginning to churn with the thought of Brigit Malone playing house with her Maggie. Their lives were an abomination. They should have been straightened out a long time ago…but I have a bigger bone to pick with her, Seamus mused as he struck a match from the worn book of them he kept in his pocket and touched the flame to the tip of the cigarette between his lips.
He had been less than amused when told that Brigit Malone would be returning to the firm. He had overestimated John’s sense of fairness in the matter. Obviously, the head Reaper had more of a soft spot for the woman than Seamus had realized. It irked him that she would be allowed back to her post after such negligence. Oh well, Seamus thought, all is fair in war…
And it was war, he determined as he stared hard at the building. Brigit Malone had betrayed him. The icing on the cake had come when John Blackwick had entered his office and demanded the tokens of his conquests. She had tattled on him like a schoolgirl in pigtails. He had won those souvenirs fairly. To have them taken from him was just one more thing to stoke the fires of his ire. She had caused something to be taken from him. He would simply have to find something to take from her…
Inhaling deep on the new cigarette, Seamus turned and began to walk away. There were plans to be made, a scheme to be hatched. He needed to begin assembling the cast for their parts in his play. Brigit Malone would learn her lesson. Seamus was set hard on that.
32: The Heaviness of it All
She awoke slowly. As she rolled her head to the side, Maggie noticed the heaviness of it. It was a side affect of the sleeping pills she had taken, she knew. She remembered Brigit’s complaint of the same sensation the next morning after taking them. Now, as she focused her gaze on the clock quietly ticking on the bedside table, Maggie wondered if she should have taken them at all.
She had needed the sleep, though. It had been a rough week and the state of sleep had kept its borders closed to her.
Slowly, Maggie pushed herself up into a sitting position and sighed. It was more than her head that felt heavy. Her whole body felt heavy. She came to the conclusion that it was no wonder that Brigit had stopped taking the pills after only a few nights…
Another deep sigh escaped Maggie. After so many months, her thoughts still seemed to revolve around Brigit. Her dreams contained images of memories, imaginations that Brigit was still present even though Maggie was well aware that she would never see Brigit walking though the door and announcing that she was finally home. That particular weight bore down on her brain the heaviest of all. Brigit had promised forever and that promise had been broken.
Or had it?
Maggie’s attention drifted to the framed picture of Brigit that sat beside the quietly ticking clock. She had tried to remove the visual reminders, yet, she had come home that day and found this one particular reminder returned to its place. Then, there had been the awful fight with Lorena Rubens where Maggie had been sure she had heard Brigit’s voice telling Lorena to leave. That had been followed by the scuffle with an unseen force that had ended with Lorena’s ejection from the apartment. Maggie
had thought she had imagined it all. She had been sure Lorena had just been overly hysterical in her departure. At least, that was what Maggie had tried to convince herself of in the following days. It was far easier to believe that scenario than the idea of Brigit’s ghost hanging around.
Yet, as she thought of it now, she remembered hearing Brigit’s voice again. It had been just a few moments before she crossed the lines into deep sleep. Brigit’s voice had been so clear… What had she said? Maggie began to fight hard against the fog left by the sleeping pills for the short exchange she could now remember having with her lover during those moments between lucidity and sleep.
It was an accident…
I’m still with you…
I haven’t broken my promise…
I love you too…
The next sound to escape Maggie was not a sigh, but rather, a sob – a deep and painful sob that rode on the clarity of the words she had heard before falling into the deepest sleep she had experienced since before the night Brigit had been killed. The sob released her. It freed her from the weight she had been carrying quietly. Her tears flowed in a torrent over her cheeks as she gave way to the freedom from the heaviness that had been sitting on her heart all these months.
Brigit had never and would never lie to her. In the end, Maggie now had the feeling, Brigit was keeping her promise.
33: The Break
Brigit had returned to the office as promised after spending a few more days watching over Maggie. To her surprise, the office was empty. As she searched the smaller offices, she felt her confusion growing. She had expected to, at the least, find John there with the hope of being given some assignments right away so that she could get back into the swing of things.
Yet, the offices were empty…
“I could use a cup of coffee anyway,” she said out loud as she turned out of John’s office and began to walk back to the main entrance of 666 ½ Bleecker Street. It was a true thought. She had not had any coffee in almost a month now and the thought of a cup of Giuseppe’s brew had suddenly become quite the craving within her.
Reapers, Inc. - Brigit's Cross Page 20