“I love you so much, Alex. I don’t want to ever cause you a moment of worry. I won’t go up on the hill without you. Okay?”
Hugging her close, he sighed heavily. “Okay. But I don’t want to dominate your every moment either.”
“It’s alright. I guess you have to take the good with the bad.”
He pulled back. “You mean the bad with the good.”
She grinned. “No, I meant the good with the bad. There is so little bad, and it is usually only a small part mixed with the good, where you’re concerned.”
His chuckle was deep. “I hope I can live up to your expectations, Mrs. Barnett.”
“You already have,” She said, stepping back. “I think I’ll spend my alone time going shopping.”
His brows lifted. “Excellent idea…if you enjoy it.”
“I will.”
She turned and reached for her purse, only then thinking of the fact that she had no money. When she turned to him, he was pulling a card from his wallet.
“Here, the pin number is 1542. That account has $10,000 in it. It’s your account. If you’ll tell me how much you use each week, I’ll replace it and we’ll keep that base.”
She stared at him mutely. Of course she would have a weekly allotment. Why hadn’t she thought of that? But how much should she spend?
He looked uncertain. “Have I offended your honor?”
She shook her head and finally found her voice. “Ten thousand is a lot of money.” Heat raced up her neck. “Of course, I realize you don’t expect me to spend all that.”
His smile was as warm as his eyes.
“I don’t expect you to, sweetheart, but it’s alright if you do. It’s yours.”
He started to turn and then stopped, his expression turning stern.
“Just don’t put stress on yourself trying to be frugal. You don’t have to buy expensive cuts of meat just because they are, but I’m sure you’d enjoy buying some meat that you don’t have to play wizard on so they won’t be tough. Buy something nice for yourself. Start out someplace besides the clearance rack for once.”
Carmen felt the blush deepen. Did he think she dressed cheap? What should she buy? Maybe she should take Katie with her… Of course; Katie would have told him that his wife didn’t buy new clothes unless she could find them on the clearance rack.
Alex colored and looked embarrassed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that there was anything wrong with the way you dress. You’ve had it so hard for a long time, and now you have the money to have fun shopping. I want you to do that.”
“Oh,” she said with a sigh of relief. “I don’t know if I’ll have much fun spending your…lots of money. I’m kind of used to being frugal. I guess it is second nature to me by now.”
He nodded. “Maybe, but you can be frugal without the stress of wondering if you can pay for it.”
If he was in the mood for concessions, there was something else she would like to address.
“Alex, I enjoy cooking. I like eating out, but I’m really tired of it now. I’d rather cook a nice meal and stay here with you.”
Those delicious chocolate eyes were so gentle.
“I enjoy your cooking, sweetheart. If you want to cook, then do it. If you don’t…anytime, then we’ll go out, alright?”
She tucked the card in her purse. “1542.”
“Do you have your phone, and is it turned on?”
She pulled the cell phone out of her purse. “Yep. Turned on and charged.”
“I’ll see you later, then,” he said. “I have to get some work done.”
After one last kiss, she left him to do his work while she went out to spend his money. Climbing into the car he purchased for her, she headed out with the new bank account he had given her to do some guilt free shopping. Right. It felt strange, and somehow wrong. This wasn’t money she had earned. It was his money. Of course, she was spending it on things for him…going to the store for him in the car he purchased…
Who was she fooling? Maybe she had never consciously thought about marrying a man with money, but she hadn’t been turned off by it either. Still, Alex without money would be equally intriguing. Her guilt wasn’t born of marrying a man with money, though. It was whether or not she deserved Alex.
She had dreamed of someone who would share her enthusiasm in horses…of someone who would treat her well. Alex was all of that and more. It was kind of like paying for a cheap appliance that would do the job and having an expensive one delivered. Maybe the smart thing to do was shut up and enjoy it, but that little voice inside kept saying it was more than she deserved, wondering who got the cheap appliance, and if someone would discover the mistake and take the expensive one back.
In spite of all the guilt, shopping was relaxing and fruitful with a hefty budget. After purchasing a conservative blouse and jeans of quality, she moved on to a less crowded grocery store than the budget one she usually used. She shopped responsibly, but this time she picked up healthy fresh fruit and vegetables…something she previously would have had to replace with canned food. Not that canned fruits and vegetables weren’t good, but they had all that sugar and salt added. Besides, food out of a can was…canned food, and no cooking skills were required.
Alex was waiting on the porch when she returned. He came to the garage when she parked the car, opened the door and began removing groceries without comment.
She laughed nervously. “Did you think I ran off with your money?”
He gave her a sharp look. “Your money, and no. When you didn’t call, I was concerned something had happened to you.”
Heat raced up her neck again. “I’m sorry. I was having so much fun; I guess time slipped away from me.”
It had only been two hours. Was he always going to be so obsessive? Well, lesson learned. Next time she would tell him what time she would be back and stick to it. If she couldn’t, she’d call him.
He started for the house, his arms full of groceries.
“I’ll get the rest. Why don’t you come inside and put them up?”
She shut the car door and followed him inside.
“Did you get all your work done?”
“Mostly. Some of it will have to wait.” He sat the sacks on the counter and turned toward the door.
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
She took her time putting things away, establishing where he kept things first. After he brought everything in, he sat quietly in his chair, reading a newspaper. Was he angry? He had no reason to be and it wasn’t like him to be so sullen.
“Where do you keep the coffee?” She asked.
“We’re out.” He didn’t sound angry.
“I know, I bought some more, but where do you like it kept? Every time I have been over, it’s been on the counter.”
He lowered the paper and frowned at her. “It doesn’t matter. Put things where they will be most convenient for you.”
Of course. From now on the kitchen was her territory…just as he thought it was Katie’s territory. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? Yet she was the one who had established the gender parameters by telling him she wanted him to wear the pants. An uneasy feeling twisted her stomach. He wanted her to stay home and be the traditional wife. Would she be happy with that? Certainly she would like to be a stay-at-home mother, but that wasn’t an option…well, not using traditional methods, anyway.
With the groceries all put up, she started supper. When it started to smell good, Alex abandoned his chair and came into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and watched her work.
“Hungry?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes. I couldn’t find anything in here to snack on. I’m glad you went to the store.”
So that was why he was upset. Well, that was understandable. Still, he could have called. She stiffened. Was her phone on? She spoke without looking at him.
“Did you try to call me?”
When he didn’t respond, she looked up at his face. He
was watching her, a sardonic smile on his lips.
“You don’t know?”
Blood raced up her neck painfully. “I had it in my purse and I never heard it ring. I checked to see if it was on before I left.”
“But you’re not sure if it rang or not?”
Focusing her attention on the pan of potatoes, she clamped the lid back on and kept her tone even.
“Did you call?”
“I called.”
“I don’t know what happened,” she said in a monotone.
“That’s a first.”
He pushed away from the counter and pulled a chair out at the table.
“How long is it going to be?”
He was tired and hungry. Once again he had been unable to reach her on the cell phone, for whatever reason. How could she blame him for being irritable?
“About fifteen minutes. Would you like a snack?”
“No. I’ll wait.”
“I’m sorry.” She said in a measured tone.
“You always are, Carmen.”
His tone was conversational, but body language indicated he was upset.
“I wish you would make an effort to be available on your cell phone when we’re apart. I know it’s a nuisance for you to carry it, but it’s important to me.”
Inwardly she cringed, but she managed to keep her voice conversational as well.
“I’ll make it a priority from now on.”
With the air cleared, he dropped the subject and moved on to more pleasant conversation. Yet the tense exchange remained in her thoughts. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t given her time to correct the problem. To be honest, she hadn’t given it much thought or effort. To her, a telephone was a necessity, not a convenience. A cell phone was an advantage for others, and one more thing to keep track of for her. Still, he had gone to the trouble and expense of getting the phone. The least she could do was make an effort to keep track of it.
Later that evening, a search through her purse failed to produce her telephone. Without alerting him, she went to the garage and searched her car. There it was, in the seat. Apparently it had fallen out of her purse at some point. The display indicated a missed call, his. Tucking it into her pocket, she went to feed the chickens.
It was the first time in their marriage that they didn’t do the chores together. In fact, she did all the chores without telling him, including feeding the buffalo. When she came into the kitchen with a basket of fresh eggs, he jumped up from his chair and turned red.
“I thought you were in the other room. I would have helped you.”
She shrugged. “It’s alright. I might as well get used to doing them.”
Grabbing a paper towel, she began wiping the eggs off and putting them in cartons people had given her.
Alex walked around the counter and came into the kitchen, his attention focused on her.
“Did I hurt your feelings?”
Her gaze lifted to his face innocently.
“When?”
She lifted the egg to the light and took her time examining it. It was unfair to punish him, but his rebuke still stung. Besides, he never asked her if she wanted a phone.
His brows lifted quickly and his eyes rolled to the side.
“I’ll go feed the horses.”
“I already did that…and the buffalo.”
He had already turned toward the door, but hearing the last part, he swung around, his brows lowering.
“I told you not to feed the buffalo.”
She shrugged and put the egg in the carton.
“You said not to feed them until they were more accustomed to their surroundings. They are.”
His jaw worked. “I’ll decide when it’s safe for you to feed them.”
She lifted her gaze to his. “Are we going to fight over this now?”
For a moment he looked confused. Finally he sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair.
“Apparently.”
He looked comically resigned to the idea. It wasn’t fair. He was trying to maintain a balance between taking care of business and her happiness. The latter was impossible. There was a choice to be made here. Continue the argument or stop it before it got heated. It wasn’t as though he was being unreasonable. In fact, he was doing exactly what she had indicated she wanted him to do.
She tossed the paper towel into the basket and gave him a flirtatious smile.
“Well I’m not going to fight about it. If you want to feed those nasty things, have at it.”
She wrinkled her nose and darted past him playfully.
His expression went from confusion to comprehension in a nanosecond. She dodged his hand as it darted out to catch her, and raced around the counter, giggling all the while. He caught up with her at the door as she started to open it. Shutting it with one hand, he grabbed her with the other.
She half-heartedly tried to twist around him to get away, squealing with mock fear as his arms captured her. He chuckled softly as he pulled her into an embrace.
“Give up?” He asked, his voice low and gentle.
“No,” she said, looping her arms around his neck. “You chased me until I caught you.”
He drew her close, his expression amused. “Oh, is that the game we were playing?”
His embrace was warm and exciting. She kissed his lips quickly and leaned back to watch his face.
For a moment he simply gazed down at her. Maybe he wanted to be the one who initiated love making all the time… like that was going to happen. Finally he released her. Something in his expression gave her the feeling that he was annoyed again.
She stood quietly gazing up at his face. Surely he wasn’t going to walk away.
Slowly he cradled her face in his hands and proceeded to kiss it lightly; first her forehead, then her cheeks and finally the corners of her mouth.
The effect on her pulse was electrifying. She gripped his wrists, meeting his sultry gaze with all the invitation she could muster.
After a long pause, he finally lowered his head and kissed her full on the lips. It was a long lingering kiss that brought her to full passion. She started to groan with pleasure, but it came out more an eager whimper that sent a rush of heat to her face.
He pulled her into an embrace again, his kiss becoming urgent. Lifting her in his strong arms the way she had come to recognize as a precursor to lovemaking, he headed for their bedroom.
She tightened her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. All was well in their world now.
Chapter Eleven
Monday came unwelcome for Carmen. It meant Alex would go back to work and she would be at home alone. He woke before the alarm went off and took his shower. Apparently he was eager to get back to the clinic. She made the bed and went into the kitchen to fix breakfast. By the time he arrived, she had the table set and his plate filled with food. Marriage was exactly what she expected and thought she would want…and yet there was something missing. She pushed the thought away, focusing on Alex.
He came into the kitchen freshly shaved and looking handsome in indigo jeans and a western shirt. He winked at her and dropped into his chair.
“Looks delicious,” he said.
“So do you,” she said instantly, and then felt a blush working its way up her neck again.
His expression was first surprised and then amused.
“Thanks.”
She pulled out a chair. “I’m going to miss you today.”
“Good,” he replied as he picked up his fork. “That will make tonight even more special.” He jabbed the fork into a clump of scrambled eggs and started eating.
She sat down and reached for her coffee cup. Even more special? What was special about today. Was she supposed to remember something? His birthday wasn’t until the end of September, so it wasn’t that. She sipped her coffee a few times and finally gave up.
“What is special about today?”
He stared at her blankly for a second and then smiled with comprehension.
�
��Nothing, I guess. But every night is special when we’re together. Don’t you think?”
The flush grew warmer. “Of course. So are the days.” She held her coffee cup with both hands and sipped the hot brew.
He swallowed a bite and chuckled. “Two weeks of love making and suddenly you’re embarrassed.”
Actually, there was nothing sudden about her embarrassment. What was different was his casual reference to their intimate moments. He was right, though. The nights were special. Only a person who had spent many of them alone would realize how special it was to have a partner next to them. But then, Alex had spent a lot of nights alone. She tucked the exceptions to the back of her mind. Those days were gone for him. He had a permanent partner now, and he thought these nights together were special.
With Alex gone all day, she turned her attention to deep cleaning the house. She made a list of things she would need and a separate list of things she wanted to retrieve from the old house. Her mother’s dishes were on that list. Alex had some nice ironstone dishes, but only a set of four. That was enough for the two of them, but they would likely have guests. He might not appreciate the china the way she did, but he would understand and support her desire to make use of it.
Bedding was another issue. In a few months, cold weather would be moving in again. Most of her bedding was worn and made for a double bed. The bed in their room was king sized…overkill, since they usually slept cuddled together. It was a beautiful bed, though, and the bedroom was spacious. Weather in Houston must not get too cold, because he didn’t have many blankets.
Several times during the day, that empty feeling returned. Each time she pushed it away. Surely it was normal to miss him. She’d get over it.
By the time Alex got home from work, the house was sparkling and she had a list for shopping the following day. Supper was on the table and she had showered and put on a dress.
He walked through the door and stopped, sniffing.
“Is that peach cobbler?”
Not exactly the reaction she had expected, but certainly not a negative one. She sighed and affirmed.
His gaze came to rest on her and his eyebrows lifted. Whistling appreciatively, he took a step toward her and captured her by the waist, drawing her into his arms.
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