Ellen said as she and Johnny came downstairs, “Well, our four are tucked in for the night. I hope.” Soon everyone was back downstairs and all the children in bed. Berry said, “While we’re waiting for the kids to get to sleep, does anyone have any news?” No one said anything. Leon laughed, “What? No body is gonna have a baby?” David said, “Well, we weren’t gonna say anything until we knew for sure. I’ll say this, we’ve been trying for that son.” Carolyn said, “I think we’re safe in saying I’m pregnant.” Everyone began clapping their hands. Lamont said, “If it isn’t a boy, we’ll string Dave up by the toes and thrash him.” Mrs. Ellman said, “It has got to be. I’ve only got two grandsons.” Johnny teased, “That shows you Mom, which one of your sons are the real men.” Everyone laughed, then all the men booed.
When they were sure the children were asleep, they began placing the boys and presents under the tree. When they were finished, the boys and presents extended far out under the tree. Barbara laughed, “That looks like a department store.” Alice said, “I know. Every year the family has increased at least one.”
Mrs. Ellman went to bed leaving the others enjoying Christmas carols and drinking eggnog. It was a very pretty picture. Johnny sitting in the big, over-stuffed chair with Ellen cuddled on his lap. Berry stretched out on the floor, Alice lying beside him with his arm around her. Leon on the couch with Ann beside him holding his hand. Paul was also on the couch with his shoes off. Lamont sitting on the floor leaning against the fireplace with Barbara beside him holding his hand and Allen sitting in another chair with Cindy on his lap. David and Carolyn were sitting on the love seat with his arm around her. They talked about everything except the war. Everyone was determined to keep the war out of this Christmas.
Lamont and Barbara were the last ones to go upstairs to go to bed. When they got to the door of the bedroom she was using, she put her arms around Lamont’s neck, “I’m so glad I let you talk me into coming here. I’ve never felt –shall I say—so welcomed. I even feel like I belong here.” Lamont said, “At Christmas, most everybody is happy. We’re not a perfect family. It may look that way but we have our ups and downs. We disagree with each other, we argue and sometimes get angry, but we all love each other and we know it.” Barbara said, “Being here has saved my life. It has kept me from thinking of Dad so much.” He looked at her, “That was the reason I wanted you to come.” He reached out and slowly pulled her into his arms, “I’m glad you came.” Then his face came closer and she felt his lips on hers. The kiss was a hunger for the need of a woman. He looked at her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. Goodnight honey.”
As Barbara undressed for bed, she felt disturbed. Lamont had stirred the passion within her. She slipped on her robe over her nude body and stood at the window. It was so quiet. She could almost hear the snowflakes hit the window pane. She thought of how much fun the children would have tomorrow on their new sleds and ice skates. Tears came to her eyes when she thought of the war. So many families would be broken. Then she thought of Lamont, going off to war soon. She looked up in the sky, “Oh God, why does there have to be war? Why do men have to leave their wives and families to maybe not return to them and if they do, be broken and have the scars of war? I know we aren’t suppose to question your motives and I’m sorry that I do. Forgive me.”
She took her robe off and got into bed. The sheets were cold to her nude body. She pulled the cover up to her neck. She turned the lamp off. Soon she began to doze. She didn’t hear her bedroom door open but she knew someone was in the room with her. She raised up in bed holding the cover over her breast. Lamont sat down beside her. He said, “It’s only me. I couldn’t sleep.” She asked, “What time is it?” He answered, “Two thirty.” She said, “Monty what would your mother think?” He said, “She wouldn’t like it worth a damn. Barb, I need you.” Without a word she let the covers fall letting the light from the snow make her breasts visible to him. She whispered, “Oh Monty I need you too.” He quickly undressed and lay down beside her. Their lovemaking was sweet and fulfilling. She knew he made love to her because he needed a woman, not because he loved her, but she didn’t care.
Afterwards, he dressed, kissed her lightly, and said, “Thanks kitten for being so sweet to me.” Then he went back to his room.
Barbara was awakened by the happy voices of children downstairs. She dressed and went downstairs to join the others. Ann said, “Here’s Barbara. Let’s open our presents. I’m dying to know what this one is.” Leon said, “I’m sure glad you’re here. My wife is gonna bust a gut if she doesn’t hurry up and open the present I got her.”
They al began opening presents. Barbara was surprised to get a present from all of the families. She felt bad because the only present she bought was for Lamont. He opened it. The identification bracelet read on the back, “As always, Barb.” Lamont leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, “Thanks kitten.” When she opened her present from him she cried out, “Oh a music box!” It played the song they danced to the first time they met. She kissed Lamont. Then Barbara got up, “I want to thank everyone for the gifts. I just feel bad because I didn’t get you all anything.” They all told her to forget it.
When the food was on the table ready to be eaten, Johnny, because he was the oldest, gave thanks. Then they started passing the food. Barbara had never seen so much food on one table. The only time the men wore suits and ties to the table was on Christmas. This was handed down through the Ellman generation. Lamont said grumbling, “Wearing these ties and suits is one thing I’d like to change on Christmas.” Johnny said, “Oh you can sacrifice once a year dear brother.” Allen said, “I agree with Monty.”
After dinner the girls made Mrs. Ellman get out of the kitchen. They would clean up. So Paul took his mother to the cemetery to put flowers on Mr. Ellman’s grave.
It didn’t take the girls long to get things cleaned up. They got the young children to take naps and the older ones went out to play. The grownups all got comfortable in the living room laughing and joking with each other. Alice set the coffee pot on the coffee table with cups. Alice said, “Everybody can pour their own.” Lamont said, “Now that’s what I call service. I’m too lazy to go to the kitchen for a cup after all that food I ate.” Berry said, “I’ve got her trained right.” Alice hit him playfully. Leon said, “I believe him. All of us Ellman’s train our women right or they have to go.” Ann spoke teasingly, “Let’s show them girls. We’ll just go on a sit-down strike.” Ellen said, “Hey that’s a good idea. Then they’ll know how important we are.” David looked at Carolyn, “Don’t say a word.” They all bursted out laughing. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the front door. David was near the door so he went to open it. When he opened the door, his loud voice attracted everyone’s attention. He said, “Damn it. I told you never to come here again.” Carolyn could see who it was from where she was sitting. She looked at Lamont sitting with Barbara on the couch. There was silence in the room. The only sound was the children’s voices outside playing. A woman’s voice asked, “Aren’t you going to let me in? It’s cold out here.” David said, “I’d rather not.” She walked in front of David and everyone looked at Lamont when they saw it was Natalie. She looked very beautiful in her real fur coat. Lamont was really shocked by her appearance. She said, “Hello everybody.” Lamont didn’t try to move away from Barbara. No one said a word. They were still surprised. Natalie laughed, “Hey, I know everybody is surprised—but someone could say something.” David said, “I’ll say something, get the hell out of here. You’re not welcome.” She looked at Lamont, then Barbara. Her eyes rested on Barbara and jealousy showed on her face. Lamont finally moved his arm from around Barbara’s shoulder and got up. He said, “I’ll take care of this Dave.”
He roughly got Natalie by the arm and led her to the door and then they went outside. Lamont was very angry, “How dare you come here like this and upset our Christmas!” Still holding her arm she asked, “Where are we going?” He answered, “Ge
t in the car.” She obeyed him. He started the car and as he turned the curve from the house Natalie asked, “Where are we going?” Lamont asked, “Why Natalie?” She said, “Don’t yell I’m not deaf. Why what?” He said, “Damn it stop acting so sweet. Why did you make such a grand stand appearance? You really like hurting me don’t you?” She scooted closer to him, “No Monty that’s not true. I called our house and of course, no one answered. You know how I enjoy the Christmas all of you have. I just wanted to be a part of it, that’s all.” Lamont said, “You’re a damn liar. You’ve never enjoyed being here.” He took a deep breath trying to calm himself, “What did you come here for? I don’t believe you’re tired of your social life.” She looked at him, “I wanted to see you. I want you to make love to me. I came to stay for a few weeks, then if you want me to, I’ll stay on.” Lamont laughed sarcastically, “You came twenty-five hundred miles just to go to bed with me? Damn, I must be some kind of stud. You think if you can get me in bed with you everything will be alright.” Natalie put her hand on his wrist, “Monty I love you.” Lamont slammed on the brakes and almost slid into a roadside table. He turned the switch off and turned facing her, “Look Natalie, I want nothing from you except for you to leave me alone. I’m taking you to the airport and seeing that you get on the next plane to Alabama. You’re not gonna spoil this Christmas for Mom.” Natalie said, “Didn’t you hear me? I admit everything is my fault. I’ve changed Monty. I know now it’s you I want.” She turned his face with her hand until their eyes met, “You still love me Monty, I can see it in your eyes.” Lamont looked at her for a second, “I don’t see how in the hell a person as beautiful as you are can be so damn rotten. You’re wrong Natalie. I don’t love you anymore. What we once had died a long time ago and my love for you died with it. I feel sorry for you.”
He started the car and pulled back out on the highway. They were quiet a few miles then Natalie looked at him and said, “Monty—if you send me back, I’ll kill myself. I don’t want to live without you.” Lamont said, “Don’t threaten me. It won’t work any more. You love Natalie Agar too much to harm her.”
Soon they were at the airport. Lamont parked the car. Lamont found out it would be five hours before a plane was leaving for the southeast. He bought her a ticket. They went to the restaurant and he ordered coffee. Natalie asked sarcastically, “Okay, what do we do for five hours? Set and glare at each other? We could find a motel somewhere.” Lamont said, “I’m not going to bed with you. We could be civilized people and be friends.” Natalie said, “Friends? How can two people like us be friends? I’d rather be your enemy, it hurts less.” He looked at her. There were tears in her eyes. He was trying to decide if she was putting on an act or if she really was sorry she had acted the way she had.” Natalie asked, “Monty what happened to us? I know we were in love when we got married?” Lamont sighed, his voice was more calm, “Hell I don’t know.” She put her hand over his, “I do still love you.” Lamont said, “Stop saying that. Those words come too easy for you. You don’t really love anyone but yourself.” Natalie said, “There you go again getting mad.”
Someone put some money in the juke box and it began to play a song. Natalie said, “Remember that song? It is old. They played that on our first formal dance together when I graduated college. Remember Monty?” He closed his eyes, “Yes I remember.” He also remembered how happy and carefree they both were and how very beautiful she was. How innocent and sweet she looked. He sighed as he opened his eyes, “You certainly fooled me. I thought you were an angel on earth. I was foolish enough to think our life together would be beautiful and sweet.”
He got up and walked out on the deck where people watched planes come and go. He lit a cigarette. He didn’t mind the cold air, he welcomed it. It cleared his head. He knew Natalie still had a hold on him. It was all he could do to keep from taking her to a motel and making love to her. His memories went back to the first time he had her. He was the first and he was proud she was his even though they weren’t married. He remembered how wonderful she was, so willing to satisfy, yet to inexperienced to know how. Her body was lovely. He’d never seen such beautiful breasts. Natalie came out on the deck, “Monty it’s cold out here.” Lamont said, “Go back inside then. I like it out here.” Natalie said, “It’s your fault I went away the first time, you sent me.” Lamont said, “Natalie if your gonna stay out here just shut up.” She said, “Now who’s not being civilized.” He looked around at her, “Damn it don’t you ever stop?” He grabbed her by both arms, “I want you on that plane just as soon as it get here. I don’t think it could be humanly possible to be hurt the way you’ve hurt me. I can’t, and I won’t, go through another hell.” She cried, “You’re hurting my arms.” He let her go.
She went back inside the building. She could see him from inside. Suddenly, she knew she had really lost him. She felt ashamed when she thought of her purpose in coming this far to see him. She was a little over two months pregnant, by a married man in Mobile. She couldn’t marry him because he flatly refused to get divorced from his wife. She was drunk at a party and went to bed with him. She wanted the baby. She thought if she cam here, she would get Lamont in bed with her. Later he would think the baby was his. She sighed because he was sending her back.
Finally the plane came in. He walked with her to the plane and saw her get on it. Lamont knew this was final between them this time. Part of him still cried out that he needed her, yet he felt a sudden calmness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. She turned on the steps to the plane and threw him a kiss. He watched the plane take off to make sure she was still on it.
As he walked to the car, again the old feeling of nothingness came back. His first thought was to find a bar and get drunk but he just couldn’t hurt his mother again. He got behind the steering wheel just staring out into space, “I’ve got to shake this. Can I fight this again? Does a man ever get over this?”
Everyone was really worried about Lamont because he was gone so long. They had no idea where he was. Mrs. Ellman cried, “I don’t understand Natalie. If she ever cared for Monty at all—why did she want to open such painful old wounds?” David was hurt, angry, and ashamed, “Mom Ellman I’m sorry. Natalie is my sister and I’m ashamed of her. I’ll never forgive her for what she did today.” Mrs. Ellman, “It isn’t your fault Dave.” Johnny said, “Don’t worry Mom. If he doesn’t come home soon, I’ll go find him.” Allen said, “I think Monty is alright. He’s too smart to let her hurt him again.”
No one intended to go home until Monty came back. Everyone except Allen thought Lamont was in a bar somewhere. Barbara felt lost. At last she had seen Natalie face to face. No way she could ever be as pretty or as glamorous as Natalie. She also saw how Lamont looked at Natalie. She realized he would never love another woman as he did Natalie. Cindy said, “I think Monty is coming.” Mrs. Ellman breathed, “Thank God.”
When Lamont opened the front door, they could see the strain on his face. He smiled, “What is everyone looking so sad for? This is Christmas.” He closed the door behind him, “I put her on the plane. She won’t ever be back.”
After everyone was gone and Mrs. Ellman was getting ready for bed, Lamont looked at Barbara, “Bundle up will you kitten? Let’s take a walk.”
When they were outside and began walking with the cold air on their faces, Lamont said, “Barb, I still love her. I thought I’d gotten over that.” He stopped and looked at Barbara, “I don’t want to love her. I don’t want to see her again. I let her know today that we are finished. It was all I could do to send her away. I don’t know what the hell to do. Beat my damn brains out or stay drunk as hell.” Barbara stopped walking, took his hand, and looked up at him, “Stop talking like that. I’ll help you as long as you help yourself. But I swear, if you start drinking again I won’t stay around and see you destroy yourself or the ones who love you.” He looked at her. She said, “I mean it Monty.” He said, “I need you.” Then he smiled, “You mean every word, don’t you?” He pulled her
to him, “Okay, it’s a deal. You stay here and I won’t drink a drop. You should have been the one I loved.” Lamont didn’t dream how much those words hurt Barbara but she didn’t let him see.
The next two days, David, Lamont, Allen, and Barbara went hunting. Barbara surprised them all by being such a good shot. She and Lamont were the only ones who got a deer.
New Years’ Eve they all went to the New Years’ Eve dance at the city hall basement. It was formal or semi-formal. Lamont seemed more like himself. Barbara watched him closely. She was afraid he would start drinking too much. It seemed the whole town turned out for the dance. It was so crowded there was hardly room to dance. As he and Barbara danced he said, “I like your dress. You’ve got a nice back.” She laughed, “That’s the first time I’ve been told that. Is it too daring without a back in it?” He said, “Not for me.” Barbara said, “Maybe that’s why everyone looks at us so much.” Lamont explained, “No that’s not why. This is a small town, you’re a stranger.”
The music stopped and they walked over to the corner of the room. Lamont said, “I’m for getting out of here soon. I’d rather go somewhere quieter.” Barbara agreed, “So would I. I don’t like people looking at me so much.”
The music started again and they noticed people stepping back and letting one couple dance. Lamont and Barbara saw it was Carolyn and David. Lamont chuckled, “Looks like Dave has hit the bottle too much. Carolyn will need help getting him home.” Barbara said, “Well I guess it is left up to you and me. All the others are pretty well tanked.”
Blossoms of Love Page 25