Blossoms of Love

  They found Barbara wasn’t in the house. She had went out the back door. When they found her, she was standing in the yard looking at Lamont’s house. When they were beside her, without looking at them she said, “I had a feeling I would never see him again.” Alice said, “There’s a good chance he’s alright.” Barbara said, “You don’t believe that any more than I do. He was shot down in enemy territory.” She began to cry, “He may be hurt bad. If he isn’t dead, they’ll torture him. Don’t they torture officers to get information from them? You know Monty. He would let them kill him before he would tell them anything.” Ellen said, “If there is any way possible, Monty will be back.” Barbara said, “He won’t come back. I’ve lost the only man I ever loved or will ever love.” She looked at Alice and Ellen, “I’ll be alright. Would you mind leaving me alone for just a little while?” Ellen said, “Are you sure? You won’t do anything will you?” Barbara said, “No, I wouldn’t have the nerve. I just want to go in his house. I feel close to him there.” Alice said, “Okay we’ll go, but if you stay too long we’re coming after you. You don’t need to be alone too much now. We love you Barb.” The girls left.

  Barbara opened the door to Lamont’s house. She went straight to his study. Oh how the room looked like him. His books, the desk, and the guns. The guns were Lamont’s pride and joy. The gun case was built in the wall and it covered half of the west wall. On each side of the fireplace was a deer head. Over the fireplace was a fish. On his desk was a stuffed squirrel. She began to cry. She said, “Oh Monty, you’ll never hunt or fish again.” She sat down on the chair at the desk, “You’ll never smile again, oh God, I’ll never see you again. I’ll never feel your arms around me or hear your voice.” She remembered her father bringing him home. He was also bringing men who served under him home to see her. She remembered he was the most gorgeous person she had ever seen. When he smiled, his teeth were so even and white they looked false. Then her thoughts went to the night Lamont cried when he learned about Paul. Lamont loved his brothers. Then she thought of their three nights together. Three days of pure heaven. She closed her eyes. She could see his beautiful face and hear him laugh. Lamont didn’t laugh often but he had a little chuckle. She said as if she were talking to Lamont, “Darling, I am pretty sure you and I are going to be parents. I haven’t had a period since I was in San Diego. I’ve never been regular but it has been nearly three months. I hope I am going to have your baby and I hope it’s a boy just like you.” Her thoughts were interrupted by someone calling her name. She looked up and saw Carolyn and Ann. Ann said, “We were getting worried about you. You’ve been gone so long.” Barbara didn’t realize it was dark outside. Carolyn asked, “Are you alright?” Barbara sighed, “Yes. I just wanted to feel close to Monty.” They locked the door to Lamont’s house and started back to the Ellman house.

  After they walked a few steps Barbara asked, “How is Mom Ellman?” Ann said, “She seems to be holding up good. Carolyn got some pills from the doctor. Bless her heart she certainly has had her share of heartaches from this war.”

  For the next week, Barbara didn’t talk to anyone. She was sat in her room and cried. She was sick a lot. Mrs. Ellman was worried about her. Carolyn finally got her to go see Dr. Morris. After he examined her, he asked her to come in his office. She sat down in front of him and the desk. He looked at her. He asked, “Do you have any idea what your trouble is?” Barbara looked down at her hands, “Yes Dr. Morris. I could be pregnant.” Dr. Morris said, “You are pregnant. You are about eleven weeks.” Barbara asked, “This is strictly within your confidence isn’t it?” Dr. Morris said, “My dear, what is said in this office goes no farther.” Barbara said, “I need to talk to you.” Dr. Morris pushed a button told his receptionist he did not want to be interrupted unless it was an emergency. He lit his pipe and said, “Alright Barbara, I’m listening.” Barbara said, “This baby belongs to Monty. Now he won’t be coming back but I will have a part of him. I’ll live for this baby. It will be my whole life. Monty and I really loved each other. You must promise not to tell anyone. I don’t want the Ellman name hurt. They are all good people and they would be talked about if this was known. I’m going to leave before anyone suspects.” Dr. Morris asked, “Why don’t you stay here my child? You have no where to go or no one to help you. I’ve known Dorothy Ellman for years and I know she would understand. She would want you to stay knowing you are carrying Monty’s baby. That big house of Monty’s, you could live there.” Barbara said, “No I have to leave. This is a small town. I would disgrace the Ellman family. Allen is a minister. It would certainly hurt him. I love Mom Ellman and I won’t hurt her. I guess the main reason I’ve got to go is because I don’t want people talking about Monty. They would you know. I told you this because I really needed someone to talk to. Dr. Morris, I’m not sorry I’m pregnant. This baby was conceived by love and part of Monty will live on.” Dr. Morris said, “Alright Barbara. Your secret will go no farther but I do wish you’d stay on here.”

  The next week, Barbara secretly prepared to leave. She told the Ellmans she had ulcers. They believed her. She was careful not to wear tight clothes but her stomach was beginning to round out.

  In August, the atomic bomb was dropped. The Japanese surrendered. The war was over. Barbara looked at the pictures on the mantel. She thought the others were laughing and crying because the whole war was over, “The Ellmans gave so much. Two sons dead, one son lost an eye and another son lost a leg. Thank God Berry, Leon, and David got through it alright.”

  A week later a young man in a Navy uniform knocked at the Ellman door. Alice opened the door. The young man asked, “Is this the Ellman house?” Alice answered, “Yes.” He said, “I’m Tom Woods. Lamont was one of my best friends.” Barbara was in the hall and heard him. She remembered the name. He was in Lamont’s squad. She remembered Lamont telling her he flew with him on missions. Alice stepped aside, “Won’t you come in? I’ll get Mom Ellman.” Barbara said to him, “Come in the living room. She will be here shortly.” He looked at Barbara, “You’re the girl who was with Monty in San Diego.” Barbara said, “Yes, I’m the girl.” Mrs. Ellman came into the room, “I’m Monty’s mother.” Tom said, “I was on my way home and I wanted to come by to show my respects for a fine officer. He was my captain and a good one.” Mrs. Ellman said, “Thank you son, I’m glad you came.” Barbara asked, “Could there be a chance at all that he is still alive?” Tom looked down at his hands resting on his lap, “Anytime a flyer is shot down in enemy territory they are always reported missing. That is, if we can’t locate him.” Barbara said, “You still didn’t answer my question. Is there any hope?” Tom said, “The captain was shot down where there was red hot fighting. The place was loaded with Japs. He parachuted out of the plane. I saw his shoot open but he was being shot at on the way down. I couldn’t tell if he was hit or not. Truthfully, I don’t see how they could have missed him. The Japs don’t hold many prisoners but he was an officer, he could be in a prison camp.” Barbara said, “Thank you Tom for being honest.” Then she left the room.

  Mrs. Ellman said, “She and Monty were to be married.” Tom said, “Yes I know. Before he went on his last mission he talked about her often.” Mrs. Ellman asked, “Would you like a cup of coffee?” He said, “No ma’am, I have to go. I want to get home to my wife.” Mrs. Ellman thanked him for coming by. When he got to the door, he said, “I’m sorry Mrs. Ellman.” She smiled, “God bless you.”

  In Barbara’s room, she kept seeing Lamont shot down. How helpless he was. She decided to leave at the end of the week.

  The next day, Leon came home to stay. Berry called Alice and said he would be home in two weeks. That night when Barbara knew Mrs. Ellman was in her room, she knocked lightly on the door. Mrs. Ellman was surprised to see her, “Barbara dear, I thought you were asleep.” Barbara said, “Mom Ellman, I came to tell you I’m leaving tomorrow on the three-thirty bus.” Mrs. Ellman asked, “Leaving? Why?” Barbara said, “Monty won’t be coming back. I’ve g
ot to find a place away. A place that doesn’t remind me of Monty every time I look at his house or the mountains, just everything here is Monty.” Mrs. Ellman said, “You have nowhere to go. You have no family. We love you and we are your family. I’ll need you when everyone is gone. Leon and Ann are going back to their house tomorrow. When Berry gets here, they’ll move back to their house. Don’t go Barbara. All I have left here is the ghosts of my husband and my two sons. One in his grave and the other God only knows where.” Barbara kissed Mrs. Ellman on the cheek, “I just can’t stay. I’ll come back, when I can stand the pain of seeing memories of Monty everywhere. I love you Mom Ellman. You’ve been a second mom to me.” She hurried out the door and upstairs.

  When she got to her room she cried. When no more tears would come, she undressed for bed. She looked in the mirror. Her stomach was getting big. She had to leave as she planned. She looked out the window and thought, “Thank you my darling for giving me this baby. I hope it is a boy just like you. I hope he will have your golden hair and that beautiful smile. Oh Monty darling, I will live for our child. I will tell him all about you and teach him to love you. He will grow up being proud of his father. I can’t give him your full name since we weren’t married but he will have part of your name. If it is a girl, she will be equally proud of you. Oh Monty, I’m so glad we had those three beautiful days and nights.”

  Everyone tried to talk Barbara out of leaving but of course, they couldn’t. She looked in the living room and walked slowly to the mantel. She picked up the picture of Lamont. He looked like a movie star or a male model in a Navy uniform. Mrs. Ellman went to the living room where she was standing holding the picture. Mrs. Ellman said, “Take the picture with you. I have a smaller one just like it and I have other pictures of him too.” She hugged the picture to her, looked at Mrs. Ellman and said, “Thank you.”

  Leon put her baggage in the car. Barbara said, “You’re all my family. I love all of you. I’ll be back one of these days.” Then she hurried to the car. As Leon turned the curve, she looked back to see all the Ellmans standing on the porch.

  At the bus station, Leon said, “It isn’t too late to change your mind.” Barbara said, “I have to go Leon.” He put his hand on her shoulder, “Listen to me Barbara, if you need anything, let us know. Will you do that?” She answered, “Yes I will. I promise.” He kissed her on the cheek, “We all love you. None of us can thank you enough for what you’ve done for all of us.” She kissed him and got on the bus.

  When the bus was nearly out of town, she saw the building with big red letters saying “The Ellman Club.” The club Lamont started. The farther the bus went away from the small town she loved so well, the more frightened she got. She was completely alone but she knew she would be alright because it was up to her to take care of Lamont’s baby.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  By the middle of September, everyone was trying to pick up their lives to a normal pace as it was before the war. So many adjustments had to be made. It’s very hard to adjust after four years of war. It seemed harder for David to adjust. With Lamont gone, his heart wasn’t in the ranch.

  One Sunday while everyone was eating Leon asked his mother, “What will you do with Monty’s ranch and house?” Mrs. Ellman said, “Nothing yet. It’s only been a month since the Japanese surrendered.” Berry said, “Mom, don’t count on his coming home.” Mrs. Ellman said, “I’m not counting on it, I’m praying. We don’t know he’s dead.” Johnny said, “Mom’s right. We don’t know.” David said, “I agree. I just can’t believe he’s dead.” Alice said, “Well I do. Tom Woods saw him. He was shot at. What chance did he have?” David said, “There’s still a chance Alice. I’m going next week and start buying our stock back. I’m buying for Monty too. That’s how much I believe he will come back.” Ann sighed, “I hope you’re right but I’m afraid some of us just won’t let ourselves accept the truth. Barbara knew after Tom Woods came here there was no chance for Monty to come back. Carolyn asked, “Mom Ellman have you heard from Barbara?” Mrs. Ellman answered, “No but she hasn’t had time to get settled.”

  The next week, David did buy back half the stock he and Lamont had. Soon, the middle of October came.

  There was snow on the mountains and the wind was getting cold but no snow in the valleys. David was sitting on the patio repairing a saddle. He looked up at the mountains. He thought of Monty. A day like this and Monty would have been in those mountains hunting. Carolyn came out to the patio. He called her to come over and sit down by him. When she did, he put his arms around her and said, “We’re damn luck. I got through the war without a scratch. I’ve got a lovely wife, a six year old daughter, a four year old son, and a big ranch. I wish everyone had been that well blessed.” Carolyn said, “So do I. When I think of Paul lying out there in his grave when he was such a brilliant doctor—and Monty—Dave will we ever know what happened to him?” David said, “Oh yes. When the Navy knows for sure, they’ll let Mom Ellman know. I look in the paper every night at the list of prisoners being released. The Japs had more than anyone knew. Yesterday there was one Ellman listed. He was from Idaho.”

  They didn’t notice a woman walking towards their house until David looked up and saw her. She was at the edge of the yard. David said, “Damn! What the hell is she doing here?” Carolyn said, “Dave, she’s your sister.” Natalie said, “Hello everyone. Dave hasn’t been to see us since he got out of the Navy so I decided to come see him.” David said, “I called and told Dad we were all coming Thanksgiving. David asked, “Are you alone?” Natalie answered, “Yes. Della will take care of Jimmy while I’m gone.” Natalie was still very pretty. She looked much younger than she was. Natalie lit a cigarette. She said, “I came by Mom Ellmans’ but no one was home.” Carolyn said, “She is at Johnny’s house. She won’t be home until late.” Natalie sighed, “I also stopped by our house. It was locked. Does Monty keep the doors locked now?” Carolyn looked at David. Of course she didn’t know about Lamont. They were legally separated and since there were no children, Lamont had his allotment made to his mother. David said, “The doors are locked because Monty isn’t here.” Natalie looked at her brother. David continued, “He was shot down over some damn island in the South Pacific.” Natalie turned suddenly looking out towards the house, “I can’t believe it. Not Monty. Not my beautiful, golden boy with the adorable smile.” David got angry, “Stop acting so damn sad.” She turned swiftly and looked at her brother, “I did love him Dave.” There were tears in her eyes, “We just couldn’t be happy together.” David said, “That makes a hell of a lot of sense. When you love someone, you’re happy with them.” Natalie said, “I want to go to our house. Do you have the key?” David said, “The house doesn’t belong to you. Monty had it willed to his mother. There’s nothing here that belongs to you.” Natalie said, “I’m still his wife. I can break the will, but I won’t. I never liked the damn house anyway. I never intended to give Monty up. I thought someday when we were older we would get back together, but now I have really lost him. He’s gone from me forever.” David said, “What was Monty suppose to do? Live day after day being lonely as hell waiting for you to decide to come back? Natalie—you can’t have people on a string like puppets. Get out of this make believe world of yours, find someone you can be happy with and go halfway with him. You’ll find life can be wonderful.”

  Natalie called the airport and left that night. As the plane took off David said, “I really feel sorry for her.” Carolyn said, “I don’t Dave. She’s had everything all her life. She hasn’t appreciated any of it.” David agreed, “That’s true but you don’t understand our backgrounds. If I hadn’t met Monty, I’d never known happiness, real happiness. He showed me what the real important things in life were and money can’t buy a damn one of them. I remember as if it were yesterday, he took me over the ranch and said, “This is real buddy. This is happiness. To be able to feel free. Happiness is freedom, being honest with people and yourself, and love. Being able to love and having someone retu
rn it. To me Dave, that is what life is all about.” David sighed, “Freedom, love, and honesty. That’s why he went off the deep end when Natalie tried to stop him from hunting and when she wouldn’t return his love.”

  As they rode home Carolyn asked, “About Natalie’s child. Monty didn’t know?” David said, “No. I didn’t even know until I went home just before going in the Navy.” Carolyn said, “I just don’t understand her. What is she looking for?” David gave a long sigh, “I wish to hell I know.”

  Thanksgiving when David and his family went to Alabama, they learned Natalie had gotten a divorce. She was dating a lawyer, well established in Mobile. Mrs. Agar was very happy and was encouraging their courtship. Natalie’s little boy, Jimmy, was a pretty child. Looked very much like her.

  Christmas while every was gone, Mrs. Ellman sat down in the living room looking at the pictures on the mantel. Her thoughts went back to the Christmas’s before the war. Those were happy times. She remembered how her husband would sit back on his favorite chair and listen to the boys. Monty and Leon were always making everyone laugh. Paul would sit back and quietly urge them on. She cried and then went to bed.

  Barbara was living in a small town about fifteen miles from Seattle. She and her father lived there several years ago. She found a small apartment. The few people she knew thought her husband was killed in the war. Barbara never touched the money her father left her. She also had the money from his allotment. There was enough money for her to live on even after their baby was several years old if she spent it wisely. Barbara sat by the window looking out. She began thinking of the Ellmans. She almost called Mrs. Ellman but decided not to. Barbara was eight months pregnant now. She looked up in the sky and saw the north star. She whispered, “Merry Christmas Monty. Soon our baby will be born. I know it will be a boy. He’s strong and active now. Oh Monty! I’m so lonely. When is the pain of loosing you going to ease up? I hope when the baby gets here, I’ll be too busy to miss you all the time. Of course darling, at night I’ll always miss you. Goodnight my love.”